An Interview With Drew Gerber
Break it down into manageable chunks & do a little every day. It can be very overwhelming to face all that needs to be cleared form our life. Break every action down into small tasks and work your way through each step. Consistency, especially at the beginning is key, so try to do a little every day. Every piece of paper, FB friend, item of clothing or email subscription is a step closer to a more simplified life.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Julie Leonard.
Julie Leonard is a Life Coach and Decluttering Coach with over 30 years of psychology, mental health and coaching experience. Her passion is enabling people to take control of their lives and to become intentional about what is truly important to their health, life and happiness.. To learn that less is actually more.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
There are two paths that have taken me on a personal and professional journey to where I am today. As a child and teenager and even into my 20’s, I was an anxious person, a worrier, sensitive and with very little self-esteem. I never felt good enough, or that my opinion counted and I truly believed I was the ugliest woman in the world.
At school, I was shy and was bullied and picked upon. I wasn’t popular and I felt like I didn’t fit in. At University I realised I wasn’t completely weird, found fantastic friends but still struggled with anxiety and low confidence. I couldn’t even walk into the cafeteria on my own I was so nervous!
When my long term and very negative relationship came to an end in my early 30’s, I finally had the time and space and tools to transform myself and my life. I remember clearly sitting on my sofa one day. I was low in mood, emotionally exhausted, and feeling alone. I was confident in my job (supporting people to make positive changes in their lives!) and had advanced in my career but apart from work, I felt I had nothing and was unhappy and unfulfilled in my life. It was then, sitting on my sofa, that I had a moment that changed my life. I asked myself ‘What is scarier? Staying as I am or facing my fears and putting myself out there?
And the realisation was that I was more scared to stay in the life I had. To remain stuck and unfulfilled. And I consciously and intentionally began working on myself to become the woman I am today. I went from unable to speak in class to standing on stages giving talks, hosting workshops and becoming an author. I was able to identify and clear many of my limiting beliefs and negative thinking that have ultimately affected the decisions and choices I’ve made and increased my happiness.
Parallel to my personal journey, I have known since I was 18 years old that I wanted to work with and help people. I studied psychology at university and after graduating began working in the charity mental health sector. I loved this work as I got to spend quality time with people in their own homes supporting them emotionally and practically. Because of my personal journey, I have always had great empathy and understanding of what people are experiencing. I was effectively coaching them, it just wasn’t called that. Whenever I asked someone what they wanted, more often than not they said ‘I want to be happy’ and that really set me on my journey to becoming the Happiness Evangelist.
Also, as I saw people in their homes, I saw a lot of clutter and experienced first hand the degree to which clutter impacted people’s emotional and physical health, and drained them of energy and their time. I could see their clutter cost. And it had nothing to so with being disorganised or lazy. I learned that there were deep underpinning psychological reasons for their clutter and that no-one was working through it with them. There have been movements coming through such as minimalism and home organizing trends but for me, the key is coaching people through what is attached to the clutter which creates long lasting transformation. I combine my all my experience to provide decluttering coaching. I love watching the changes that happen and the weight that lifts from people as they declutter their physical spaces but also their digital space, their lives and their limiting beliefs.
After 20 years in this setting, I was ready for a change. I had always wanted to have my own business and to be my own boss. 10 years ago I fell in love with an Italian man living in Germany and so 9 years ago I moved to Munich, Germany and it was a natural progression to become a Certified Life Coach and create my own business. Now I can combine my passion for happiness, for decluttering, my personal experience, my 30+ years of professional experience plus my extensive knowledge to support people to get unstuck, gain clarity, and live to their full potential. To simplify their lives and to be truly happy.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
As a coach, I love self development books. Ever since I started my psychology degree and spent hours in the university library I have gathered stacks of non fiction to read. One of the first books I ever took out on loan was Man’s Search For Meaning which was so inspiring and I believe influenced the work I do today. Like many, I always wanted to write my own self help book and in 2020 I did just that. In 4 months I wrote and published Intentional Happiness: The Life-Changing Guide To being Happy and Staying Happy. However, the process was so tough and I wanted to quit so many times. The reason being, one of my major limiting beliefs was ‘I can’t write’. I had an English teacher in high school who took a strong dislike to me and crushed all my creativity and love of writing year after year, explicitly telling me I was no good at writing. I carried that with me for over 30 years and it certainly reared it’s head many times during the process. I persevered and it was a huge personal and professional achievement to complete my first book and on publication became a no 1 best seller on Amazon. The most amazing moment was taking a screen shot of my book sandwiched between Man’s Search for Meaning and Kierkegaard! It far exceeded my expectations.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I’m currently working on my next book on how to declutter your life, drawing on my years of experience. Like Intentional Happiness it will be to the point and packed with useful exercises and a step by step guide to simplifying your life. I’m super excited to reach as many people as possible and support them to let go of all that holds them back.
I will also launch my new journal. It will have all you need in one place to journal your way to intentional happiness. Again I want to make the process of journalling, gratitude and mindset simple and effective and this journal will do just that with everything all in one place.
And 2023 will see the expansion of my Intentional Happiness Circle. This is my year long coaching programme that takes you month by month, step by step towards an intentionally happy life. I love being on this journey with our members and watching the transformation that happens when people become proactive rather than reactive in their lives.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
As a former hoarder, I placed a lot of my happiness on material objects until I figured out that happiness comes more from within. I learned to let go of a lot of my stuff and realised through that process how much lighter I felt without all of it. I also figured out over the years that decluttering not only my physical space but my digital space, my life and my thoughts and beliefs and simplifying my life brought me significantly more happiness. This knowledge was supported in my work in Scotland, in my clients homes, where I could support people to do the same and which resulted in dramatic shifts in happiness for them. I then took it a stage further with the Intentional Happiness Circle where we declutter, simplify and clear away the excess in order to create space and time to become proactive in our lives and take control of our happiness.
Over my 30 years in this line of work, I’ve decluttered homes ranging from a few messy drawers to a home where every room was packed floor to ceiling with bin bags full of stuff. I’ve devoted my career to supporting people to change their negative thoughts and limiting beliefs in order to get unstuck and strive for what they truly want. I’ve helped people clear out their lives without guilt in order to prioritise what is actually important to them.
It is my life’s work to share with people how much of your life and happiness is within your control and it all starts with clearing and simplifying your life.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
You raise such an important point. We live in a time where we have more than we ever had yet we report far higher levels of unhappiness, anxiety, stress and depression. We have been led to believe that if we have money, the house, the car and the job and the latest gadgets we will be happy. Yet time and time again I have met clients who have told me they ‘should’ be happy as they have everything but they are not. Money certainly goes some way to making us happy. Freedom from debt and worry significantly increases our happiness. But it’s how you spend your money and on what that is the key. Experiences, time with good friends and activities that support a healthy lifestyle are what makes more of a difference. When we place our happiness externally it is subject to fluctuation. You will notice that your mood goes up and down depending on what is going on. around you.
In my Happiness Community, we polled hundreds of members to ask them ‘What is happiness?’ Resoundingly, the top answers were a sense of peace, feeling calm and feeling balanced. Overwhelmingly , the overall feeling of happiness is more of an inner state. When we free ourselves from the weight of stuff and focus on what makes us feel peaceful, calm and balanced and on what truly brings us joy, we feel much happier. This shift in focus is also an impactful shift from the temporary feelings of happiness we get from purchases to the long lasting happiness from experiences, connection, resilience and inner balance.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
I believe this excessiveness is creating a culture of materialism and comparison that’s driven by marketing and is wholly misleading as to what brings us happiness. Of course some amount of stuff is needed and can bring us joy however it’s not the full story and we need to be teaching people that what we own is only part of life, not all that we should strive for. We know from research that a sense of connection, relationships and a sense of belonging are essential to combat anxiety, depression, stress and loneliness and the focus on and the pressure to own expensive or excessive amounts of stuff is impacting on our mental health and feeling connected.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
The pressure to constantly own more creates what psychologists call the hedonic treadmill. That is, the need to constantly chase that short term high when we purchase something as opposed to long term happiness. Basically, you have to keep purchasing to feel good and the feeling doesn’t last. When we focus on accumulating stuff we actually don’t feel content. In my experience, the opposite occurs. All this stuff becomes a stress, a pressure, an overwhelm, a weight that drags us down , not lifts us up. And in my years of experience, when we simplify our space and our minds and our lives we feel lighter, and happier and free up time and energy to focus on what actually makes us happy. I love the quote ‘Minimalists don’t spend the weekend clearing out their garages’. I think that sums things up well. It takes a lot of time, money and effort to maintain clutter. By simplifying you can gain so much energy and time to redirect to doing what it is that actually makes you feel happy.
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
So I use to be a hoarder- clothes, books, music, knickknacks, etc. I found that they became a weight and I could easily feel overwhelmed. I reduced what I purchase and only buy what truly brings me long-lasting joy or is useful. I still love music and books and clothes. I buy a few key pieces that I feel great in rather than lots of fast fashion. I enjoy books immensely but have no problem passing them on to friends or my local charity when I’m done. And I spend my precious time and money going to concerts that make me feel amazing in the moment and create memories for a lifetime.
I’ve decluttered many people from my life and consciously spend time on my true close authentic friends and invest in deepening those friendships. I prioritise quality family time with my husband and son. I don’t feel the need to have dozens of people in my life, just the right ones.
My health is also a priority but I simply love to walk and all I need is a pair of trainers and my headphones and I’m good to go. I keep up my essential medical check ups and cook healthy food. And most of all I take time to meditate, practice gratitude and to rest every day. None of which costs a penny yet ha been instrumental in my transformation and in my increased sense of balance and wellbeing.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
Something that comes with age is that you realise that you don’t have to put up with people and drama and that fewer friends and closer best friends are more fulfilling than tons of FB connections. And a few choice quality items is more rewarding than lots of cheaper stuff. And what you really realise is that the experiences that create long lasting memories make us happier than the short term buzz of shopping for material goods. Today I choose to spend the majority of my time and money on creating experiences and memories- travel, time with friends, going to see bands, the theatre, laughing. These all contribute to my sense of wellbeing and happiness.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?
Don’t be afraid to choose your own path. Be really honest with yourself about your mental health and how much it is impacted by going along with what society expects of you, of trying to fit in or constantly comparing yourself to others. Instead, ask yourself what truly brings you joy and lights you up? What gives you a sense of meaning and purpose? Who in your life consistently shows up for you? What memories make you the most happy when you recall them ad do more of that. Know that having nice things goes some way to feeling happy but it’s also ok to focus on experiences and connection in order to feel that you have more than enough in your life.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
1.Assess your clutter cost. How does your clutter impact on your emotional health, your physical health, your physical space, your head space, your time and financially. Once you realise just how significant the impact is you can begin to take it seriously and start to make changes. It’s a great motivator.
2.Take an inventory. Go through all aspects of your life that you need to simplify and make a detailed list of all you need to tackle. This will give you clarity on what you need to deal with.
3.Break it down into manageable chunks & do a little every day. It can be very overwhelming to face all that needs to be cleared form our life. Break every action down into small tasks and work your way through each step. Consistency, especially at the beginning is key, so try to do a little every day. Every piece of paper, FB friend, item of clothing or email subscription is a step closer to a more simplified life.
4.Consciously reduce what comes into your home. Become much more aware of what is coming into your home and into your life. Be aware of what you say yes to. Ask yourself if this fits with the life you wish to lead. What steps can you intentionally take to reduce the things that clutter up your life.
5.Ask for help. When you decided to simplify your life it is quite normal for it to seem confusing and overwhelming. Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness. Explain to your partner, your family and friends what you want to achieve and ask them for their help and support. Consider reaching out for professional support. Coaches like myself can help you achieve your goals much more quickly than trying to do it all by yourself.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I have a goal to create waves of kindness and have begun a local movement of redistributing our unwanted clutter to people in need.. We have so much excess and there are so many people with nothing. I would like to create a conscious global movement to redistribute unwanted clutter items to those in need, allowing us to both simplify our lives and spread kindness and compassion towards others.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please check me out at www.julieleonardcoaching.com
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity
Julie Leonard On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.