Take time to take care of yourself each and every day. Unplug, set and keep your boundaries. Stay connected to family if possible, friends and peers and celebrate their wins, sit with their pain when it gets tough. Being present is one of the best ways to avoid burnout.
As a part of my series about the “5 Things Retirees Say They Wish They Were Told Before They Began Retirement” I had the pleasure of interviewing Lisa Curtis, LCSW, CASAC.
Ms. Curtis is a licensed clinical social worker who has a passion for spreading the word that planning for your retirement is more than the financials. Bringing her years of experience, both professionally and personally, to the topic, Ms. Curtis shares with us what she’s learned from those who have constructed their ideal life in retirement.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I’m so glad to be here. Thanks for the invitation. The backstory is pretty simple; I have always been that person who wants to help others. Throughout my career I’ve been lucky enough to have had some great mentors who supported my ideas to work in a variety of clinical areas and ask questions about how to do our work differently since not everyone is going to encounter us in our professional offices. Although design thinking was first coined in the late 1950’s, the term didn’t show up in wide-spread culture until the early 1990’s. When I first heard the term I remember thinking, “That’s what I do with my clients! It has a name?” That’s when I really started to get serious about helping my clients construct, design and think about what they want, rather than feeling that life was pushing them around like a rubber duck on a big ocean.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I can share an interesting story from a more recent client because I think it speaks to many of us. A man in his late 70’s sought me out about 9 or 10 years after his wife died. Her final illness had been a long, downward spiral that quickly drained him of his old life, friends and interests. Together we were able to identify, and then craft, a new version of his life. This new life had some similarities to his old but this time every activity, invitation and gathering were taken on because it was what he wanted to do, not what he believed was expected of him. To say that he is happier now than he had been for years is an understatement. This is what it means to craft a retirement that works for you, not for everyone else.
Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?
The early humorous mistake I made was in not taking the exit out of a job that just wasn’t meant to be mine. I stayed longer I should have, ignored all the warning signs and ultimately found life to be much more fun when I wasn’t there. The take-away that I share with people now is that staying for a paycheck or because you believe you ‘should’ is never worth it. My life post awful job was ten times better than the one I had while I was there even with many unknowns and fears.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
There is no one person who helped me get here but there were many who contributed to my successes. I have the voice of one of those people, a teacher from junior high school, telling me that I can do anything I set out accomplish. There were others who showed me what I didn’t want to be; less than genuine, unable to celebrate others. Those models are important for us as we begin to define and articulate what’s important for ourselves. And of course, there is a long string of wonderful people who have cheered me on and helped me find clarity in what I want to share with others.
What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?
Take time to take care of yourself each and every day. Unplug, set and keep your boundaries. Stay connected to family if possible, friends and peers and celebrate their wins, sit with their pain when it gets tough. Being present is one of the best ways to avoid burnout.
What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?
A fantastic work culture comes from the top. If you’re not taking care of yourself and having a good time at work, it will trickle down to everyone else. Be generous with your time, praise and ‘treats’ ~ I’m a big believer in shared meals, a kind gesture or unexpected bunch of flowers to show people you want to lift them up with you.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Retirement is a dramatic ‘life course transition’ that can impact nearly every aspect of one’s life. Obviously everyone’s experience is different. But In your experience, what are the 5 most common things that people wish someone told them before they retired?
The 5 most common things I hear and see from people who have retired are: plan early for life beyond the financial needs such as where you want to live and how you want to live (do you want to live in your home and if so, is it future proofed?), have new goals for yourself, be open to making new connections and friends especially younger ones, stay active and fit and finally, don’t underestimate your financial needs.
Let’s zoom in on this a bit. If you had to advise your loved ones about the 3 most important financial issues to keep in mind before they retire, what would you say? Can you give an example or share a story?
The 3 most important financial issues generally refer to quality of living in the years before retirement; it’s not OK to live uncomfortably in the present with the notion that you’re saving for the future but it’s also not OK to spend everything now hoping to earn it back or can ‘make it up’ when someone leaves you a large inheritance. The most common financial issue I see is saving enough money to really live in retirement rather than hoping for the best. The next issue I see is in not taking the time to learn what is going on with your financial resources; it’s your future, take the time to really understand what’s going on with the funds you have set aside. And finally, not having thought out if it’s important to you to leave a financial legacy behind or if you want to make sure you use your financial resources for yourself in the here and now.
Here’s a great example of that for you. A client came to me shortly after her husband had died. They had no children and her own siblings were, at best, distant to her. As we talked, she began to recognize that her siblings, while perfectly fine people on their own, had no need for any financial assets of her estate as they are both well off. On the other hand, her best friend from college, with whom she continues to share a close relationship with, has a grandson who is not so well off. Having worked her entire life in higher education, she opted to set up a college fund for this youngster so that he has more options when it comes time to head to college or a trade school. She is relieved to have a plan and feels good to know that her resources will go make a difference in someone’s life.
If you had to advise your loved ones about the 3 most important health issues to keep in mind before they retire, what would you say? Can you give an example or share a story?
The three most important health issues prior to retirement are, first and foremost, to get and stay in good physical condition. I’m not talking about the need to run an Ironman but instead be comfortable moving, lifting and stretching. You’re going to want to pick up your grandchild or sock off the floor one day or be able to get yourself up and off that same floor if you should fall. Secondly, establish a good working relationship with a primary care doctor. Shop around if you need to but ultimately this is going to be your partner and its critical you feel comfortable with them. Third, follow the doctor’s suggestions. They aren’t making them for the heck of it and not following them is only hurting you. Bonus suggestion; mind your attitude. Our bodies change as we age but complaining about it won’t change reality.
A dear neighbor of mine, who lived until just weeks before her 103rd birthday, is a great reminder about how to navigate the aging journey well. She moved her body daily, walked down to a favorite park bench to visit with friends, and later drove the 3 blocks when she couldn’t walk that far. She followed her doctor’s suggestions but would allow herself the occasional treat, which she took great delight in. She wasn’t in perfect health but she took good care of herself and lived each day with joy and a “that’s life” attitude. Best thing? She rarely, if ever, complained about how she felt. She remains a powerful example of how to age well and with grace.
If you had to advise your loved ones about the 3 most important things to consider before choosing a place to live after they retire, what would you say? Can you give an example or share a story?
Choosing where and how to live in retirement is one of the hardest and yet, ultimately, most important decisions you can make in the present day. The first consideration is to be mindful of how likely and what kind of help can you expect from family if you move to be closer to them. Moving to be near someone who are themselves not entirely settled can be problematic. The second consideration is what kind of life are you looking to lead when you get to retirement. Do you want to be in a vibrant university town which would afford you the opportunity to take classes and use the facilities or are you more comfortable in a retirement community where everyone is over 65? Finally, take into consideration that you’ll likely need some help as you age and it’s not so easy to find someone to come into your home, if that’s where you choose to be.
The same woman, with a good college friend and distant siblings, comes to mind when I think about this. She has opted to look into a continuing care retirement community, (CCRC) so that she can have community around her, care if and when she needs it and still be close to her college bestie. She knows she doesn’t want to rely on her siblings, who live 2 hours away from her nor is she confident that she can navigate getting help when she needs it if she stays in her current home. This solution has given her a great deal of relief now that she’s not only got a plan but has been accepted for moving into a particular community.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I could start one movement in this area it would be to start your planning now, regardless of your age. We really never know when our circumstances will change and how they might change. Advocate for a variety of housing options with your local planning boards, get and stay involved in the questions around what life looks like in retirement rather than thinking others are doing this for you. This is your future so I would urge you to join me in speaking up and out about what’s needed for us as we get older.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?
A very old book, “The Beardstown Ladies’ Common-Sense Investment Guide: How We Beat the Stock Market — And How You Can Too” by the Beardstown Ladies’s Investment Club and Leslie Whitaker was published in in 1996 and made a huge impact on how I think about retirement. I didn’t use it to learn about how to invest but I did use it to learn about what those investments are, what it means to be in control of not only your financial future but the quality of your life as you move through it.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
There is a line from a Mary Oliver poem, Summer Day, “Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life” that stands out to me. It embraces the notion not only of planning but also of keeping up-front the reality that we have this one life to share with those we love. I want to make sure that as many people as possible get to their retirement years excited, prepared and open for what’s next.
What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?
The best way to find me on social media is through my Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/LisaCurtisCoach/
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Lisa Curtis: 5 Things Retirees Say They Wish They Were Told Before They Began Retirement was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.