Serena Palmer of Serena Consulting On How To Achieve Great Success After Recovering From An Addiction
Seek connection and understanding from fellow addicts: Speak to someone in recovery; they speak your language and offer a unique understanding that friends and family, despite their best efforts, often cannot. This connection is powerful and creates a bond unlike any other.
When people are trapped in a severe addiction, it can feel like there is no way out and there is no hope for a better future. This is of course not true. Millions of people are in recovery from an addiction and they go on to lead successful, fulfilling and inspiring lives.
Authority Magazine started a new series about women who were able to achieve great success after recovering from an addiction. The premise of the series is to offer hope and inspiration to people who feel trapped in similar circumstances. As a part of this series we had the pleasure to interview Serena Palmer.
Serena Palmer is an executive coach, talent strategist, and founder of Serena Consulting who combines deep, global expertise in leadership, career development, and EDI coaching with strategic talent management to drive meaningful change. Drawing on her personal journey of late-stage ADHD diagnosis and overcoming addiction, Serena empowers individuals and organisations to champion neurodiversity, unlock potential, and foster supportive and inclusive cultures. She is also the author of Straight Outta Rehab, a structured programme designed to guide people on their path to sobriety, and My Two Brains and Me, offering a relatable account of life with ADHD and addiction, accompanied by practical advice for readers.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?
I was born in 1979 and grew up in the southwest of England. My parents divorced when I was 1 and a half, and I lived with my Mum who was building her career and a single Mum, until we moved in with her partner when I was 11 yrs old. From my early years in a small village school with just twelve classmates to a bold leap into the world of drama and performance, I’ve always had a knack for capturing attention and making an impact, my family would describe this as “showing off”. My passion for the arts began young, with speech and drama classes that honed my expressive talents. I took regular dance classes and began taking exams in dance, drama, speech and prose from about 6 or 7 yrs old through to my teens.
I was also nicknamed “Serena the Dreamer”. It sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Like a character from a whimsical storybook. But, as I now understand, it was shorthand for “that child is off in her own world, again”. My brain worked like a fireworks display — one thought would spark a hundred more — and I felt compelled to share them all. It’s only now, looking back, that I can see the patterns; the daydreaming, the sugar obsession, and the endless chatter were all signs of a brain that worked differently, even if no one understood it at the time. I was the embodiment of what we now recognise as Combined ADHD, though neurodiversity was mostly unheard of back then. I finally got diagnosed with Combined ADHD at 42 years old after a lifetime of misdiagnosis and medications I should never have been prescribed. As a teenager I became totally driven by the prospect of an acting career, and aged 16 yrs old I was accepted into Drama School in London. This was huge in every way, London was a different world to the small town I grew up in. The experience of Drama School, the people, teachers, industry professionals, the knowledge and experience I gained was unlike anything I had known, and in simple terms one of the greatest moments in my life.
Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers how you were initially introduced to your addiction? What drew you to the addiction you had?
Let me start with what drew me to addiction. I now understand that, as someone with ADHD, my brain is chemically predisposed to seek dopamine. I was magnetically drawn to anything that provided that hit. It began with sugar in childhood; a forbidden treat in my health-conscious mum’s house, I’d gorge on it at friends’ homes and even pocket some for later. At eleven, my first cigarette behind the church hall clicked something in my brain. Cigarettes became an obsession, and I’d do anything to get them. It turns out the ADHD brain and nicotine go together like fish and chips. Essentially, I was self-medicating from as early as I can recall, with sugar, nicotine, and eventually, alcohol, all altering how I felt.
Growing up in the UK meant constant exposure to our centuries-old drinking culture. I first tried alcohol around age 13 — a strong, cheap cider in the park with friends. Like most teenagers, I had occasions where I’d get drunk and behave badly, often ending up sick. The crucial difference was my reaction to alcohol; I was “me, but extra me,” and the change was instant. I was confused by “the rules” — we all drank to get wild, but apparently, “not like that, Serena!” I was a fast drinker from the start and reckless. Looking back with my current understanding of addiction, it’s clear I’ve always been a dysfunctional drinker
As you know, addictions are often an attempt to mask an underlying problem. In your experience, what do you think you were really masking or running from in the first place? Can you explain?
From very early on, I was incredibly adept at masking, which allowed me to lead a double life. Society often tells us to “be ourselves,” but then adds, “no, not like that!”. I believe this is what many with ADHD are masking from, often to our own detriment and many through addictive behaviours. Masking, simply put, is the grand performance of pretending to be something you’re not, an exhausting attempt to fit into a world not built for you. There’s also a deep, unrelenting need to fit in that drives this behaviour.
This internal struggle intensified as my life dramatically shifted away from acting towards management roles, first at The London Dungeon and then the Natural History Museum. I excelled, rapidly earning promotions and leading large teams at a young age. This coincided with significant personal responsibilities: I married at 23 and had my daughter at 24. Despite outward success and accolades, I was losing myself. My marriage was a disaster, ending when my daughter was just one. Juggling a demanding career and single motherhood, I simply wasn’t coping and felt I was never able to just be “me.” This is when what I call my “other brain” truly took over. This “other brain” is an addict and was always there, ready to save me from the relentless chatter of my normal brain, but the more I leaned on it, the stronger it became. The constant juggling act of being everything to everyone — employee, mum, and partner — left me adrift. Drinking began as a way to feel like I was me again. I was a binge drinker and a social drinker, and even at this point I drank very differently to others around me.
Can you share what the lowest point in your addiction and life was?
A text message from my daughter.
My life became utterly unmanageable. It’s crucial to understand that alcoholism is a progressive illness, meaning it only gets worse without intervention. In the fellowship of AA, it’s described as a threefold illness: a mental obsession, a physical allergy, and a spiritual malady. In simple terms, your entire mind, body, and soul are sick. If it were a choice, there would be no need for AA or rehab. Because of this, alcoholics often drink and behave against their own will, leading to numerous “rock bottom” moments that, to outsiders, seem like they must be enough to prompt sobriety.
For over 20 years, my binge drinking fluctuated. I had periods where it was controlled, almost passing for “normal drinking”. During this time, I was excelling in my career, specialising in Leadership Development and Talent for large corporates. I was in a long-term relationship, owned a great house, and had a nice car. However, behind this facade, the progression continued, leading to the truly desperate moments.
The last few years of my drinking career were a total acceleration and again paradoxically I was now a Global Director. My binge drinking was now any night of the week, it was isolated, drinking alone in my kitchen, and the quantity I was drinking was extreme and increasing. I would be in a walking/talking black out (something I didn’t even know was possible) and I was experiencing alcoholic psychosis regularly, leading to dangerous and terrifying behaviour. I was now being taken to hospital or having the police turn up fairly often.The last drink I had led to being arrested in my own home and spending the night in a police cell. When they led me to a cell, the door shut, and that’s when hell began. I had no recollection of why I was there. The thought that I could have hurt my daughter was agonizing. My mind became fixated on the idea that I would have to kill myself; there felt like no other way out. Not once did it occur to me that I should stop drinking, such is the power of my addict brain that it convinced me I was the problem.
When I was released the next day, I got my phone back, and then I saw a text message from my daughter that was sent just after I was taken away by the police. She texted, “I’m sorry, Mum. I didn’t realise by ringing the police that you’d actually be arrested. I don’t want you to get in trouble. I don’t want you to be taken away. I’m sorry. I feel guilty because I’ve done it.” That message broke me.That wasn’t her burden to carry. It was mine.
Was there a tipping point that made you decide that you needed to change? Can you please share the story?
The night that I was taken to the police cell I had drunk 2 or 3 bottles of wine and a litre of vodka, a new record for me. The events leading up to this involved being made redundant and ending the relationship with my long term partner, which had been bad for a very long time. The speed that my alcoholism was progressing was terrifying, and being arrested was a new low. But my addict brain was fully in charge, and actually the honest answer is that I didn’t want to stop drinking at all, I just wanted to learn to drink “better”.
My Mum was at the house when I got home from the police station, and she had been trying to get me help for a few years. I felt utterly empty and my self loathing was off the charts, even more so for the pain I was causing my beautiful daughter. So when my Mum said that I had run out of options and needed to go to rehab I just said “Ok”. Interestingly there was a glimmer of the real brain, because i then said “If I am going to go, I have to tomorrow or I wont go at all.” and so knowing nothing about rehabs, what constitutes a good or bad one, we went online, looked at lots, and eventually picked one because I liked the look of the furniture! I booked in for 28 days (because of the Sandra Bullock film of the same title) . We had no clue what we were doing! It was early December so this meant I would be away for Christmas and New year. The next few hours involved packing, and making arrangements. My Mum offered to move into my house with my daughter and basically keep my life going on on the outside. I called one person, my best friend Hayley, and asked her to stay close to my daughter while I was away. I will be forever grateful to my Mum, family and friends who stepped in and gave me the freedom to get help.
Can you tell us the story about how you were able to overcome your addiction?
For the first few days in rehab, my addict brain was still in full control, whispering schemes and justifications. I judged everyone, clinging to the differences between us, convinced I didn’t belong there. I spent my alone time plotting how, now that I’d been “exposed,” I’d have to start hiding my drinking when I got out — planning trips to the woods with bags of booze.
Then came day four. During a morning group therapy session, someone was sharing about hiding their drinking. Suddenly, a flood of images rushed through my mind: sneaking wine into my suitcase, topping up my glass with vodka at home, over-pouring gin at a friend’s house. In that moment, the lies I’d told myself for so long were exposed. It hit me with such force that I felt winded. Then came an even more painful realization: I saw the full impact my drinking had on my daughter, and the shame was suffocating.
This dual awakening — the truth about my drinking and the harm I had caused my daughter — was the beginning of everything changing. I stopped separating myself from the others; I wasn’t better or even different from them. I was one of them, and accepting that was crucial to moving forward. Once I went through that pain, something inside me changed. The narrative of needing to hide my drinking vanished, replaced by an uncontrollable thirst for knowledge. My ADHD hyper-focus kicked in, and I threw myself into learning about alcoholism, addiction, and recovery with even greater intensity than I had for drama school. Hearing that I would always be an alcoholic, and that there’s no going back to “normal” drinking, was a game-changer. I learned that addiction is an illness, not a choice, and a therapist’s words resonated deeply: “You are not a bad person trying to get good. You are a sick person trying to get well”. From that moment, my recovery truly came first, I began to realise I was on the edge of losing everything, and that I would have to stay sober, without it I would have nothing. I learned from everyone, every other addict in there taught me something, the staff, therapists, guest facilitators all had some knowledge that I wanted. I was relentlessly curious and this is a quality I have always had, now it was going to save my life.
How did you reconcile within yourself and to others the pain that addiction caused to you and them? Can you please share a story about that?
Reconciling the pain of addiction, both within myself and with others, began with a fundamental shift in understanding. Step one was truly grasping what addiction is and understanding that I was firmly in this club. Alcoholics drink and behave in ways that are often against their own will. You cannot simply “think” your way out of addiction; it requires a comprehensive program and intensive therapy to address the most painful parts of your life, doing all the necessary work. But the most important thing is you need other alcoholics (sober ones) to support you. Why? Because they totally and utterly get you, and they never judge you, they can offer understanding, wisdom and guidance that no one else can.
But here’s the brutal truth: shame kills people. The shame of past actions, behaviours, and harms, coupled with the societal stigma and outdated view of what an “alcoholic” looks like, is a suffocating burden. I had to face the harm I caused, especially to my daughter. One of the hardest things was hearing her express that the cruel things I said when drunk were what she believed I truly felt about her. This broke me, as I knew deep down it wasn’t the real me. My therapist helped me understand that a blackout addict brain, fueled by litres of alcohol, isn’t speaking a “sober heart”. It’s the chaos of addiction speaking, often driven by the addict brain’s resentment towards anything that reminds it of its responsibilities, like my daughter, who became a target simply for existing.
Reconciliation, then, became about living amends. It’s not enough to offer an apology or tick a box on a 12-step list. I have to demonstrate, every single day, through my sobriety and my genuine engagement with life, that I am different. I am present, I am interested in her, and I am interested in myself and the world. It’s about living a good life, loudly and authentically, to chip away at the shame and prove that change is possible. It’s about rebuilding trust through consistent, sober actions, allowing my daughter to see a whole person, someone who has clawed her way back from rock bottom, and who is now actively building a life worth living.
When you stopped your addiction, what did you do to fill in all the newfound time you had?
A better question would be what didn’t I do!!?
My psychiatrist once observed that I have an inability to relax, a truth that resonated deeply; by the time I reached 45, I had never truly learned how to stop or simply be — I only ever pushed myself to do more.
This drive led me to launch my own business, Serena Consulting. True to form, I couldn’t just do things quietly; I set an ambitious goal to launch my website on my 100th day sober, an enforced deadline that became a central plan. A few months later I found myself being interviewed on a podcast where I told the world my story of addiction. This is a deliberate decision to battle stigma and shame, and when I once heard the phrase “recover loudly so others don’t die quietly” I knew I would live by that.
Beyond the business, my first year of sobriety became a whirlwind of activity: I redecorated parts of my house, taught myself to make candles, refurbished furniture, built shelves, redesigned the garden, fixed my car, cooked, and delved into DIY and turned my box room into a meditation room. All of this was accomplished while starting a new venture and navigating life as a single woman for the first time — all while staying sober. I simply don’t know how to stop filling every second of my time, and I love this about myself. I try to embrace this quality rather than criticize it. You have to remember I have never lived with my real brain sober before, turns out it’s relentlessly driven! I have come to love meditation, something I thought was impossible for me. I still don’t do it as much as I should, but it is the solution to a hyper-focussed brain.
Another crucial step in my recovery, born from a personal need, was writing and publishing a journal to help others stay sober after rehab. Daily gratitude and journaling are proven tools in maintaining sobriety and were a major part of my own journey, but I couldn’t find a journal that truly resonated with my specific experiences. So, I designed one that met my needs and published it on Amazon. This led to writing my book, My Two Brains and Me, which shares my complete story of ADHD and addiction. Furthermore, I regularly attend AA meetings, where I now serve as the secretary for my home group and have the privilege of sponsoring someone else, guiding them on their path to sobriety. I work a programme of recovery through AA, not always perfectly, but I do my best and it keeps me well in so many ways.
What positive habits have you incorporated into your life, post addiction, to keep you on the right path?
Since getting sober, I’ve integrated several positive habits that are the cornerstones of staying on the right path. My daily mantras, “I will go to bed with a sober head” and “Just do the right thing”, are simple yet profoundly impactful, guiding my choices and helping me navigate challenges. Journaling is essential for processing. Meditation has been transformative; I’m learning to retreat to my meditation room for even ten minutes, and it’s like magic — shifting my mindset, energy, and mood, pulling me back into the present moment. I also regularly practice breathing techniques like triangle breathing and box breathing, the latter of which was developed by the military for crisis situations, proving their scientific efficacy. These tools help me slow down when my brain is racing, especially since I’ve learned that my clearest and sharpest thinking often occurs between 10 PM and 2 AM. This is a very common ADHD trait, and I refuse to deny myself this clarity time if I want it. I am free to be me — and live on my terms. I’m consciously learning to stop filling every second of my time and live by my own rules now, prioritizing my well-being.
Can you tell us a story about the success that you achieved after you began your recovery?
Launching my own business, Serena Consulting was a big deal. I knew I didn’t want another big corporate job, I had wanted to set up on my own for years, it felt like a no-brainer to do it now. I have been a qualified leadership coach for years, and I wanted to do this as well as ADHD coaching. I am also a real Talent and EDI strategy geek so let’s offer that too! My business launched successfully, and I even landed a client on the very first day. I truly backed myself, I took a leap of faith and hoped the solid reputation I had built in my career may help.
The interview for the Rethink Leadership podcast with Jeremy Bain, (which boasts 250,000 global listeners per episode) was a pivotal moment. I felt like I was coming out of the closet both professionally and personally, as I talked openly about being in recovery, having ADHD, and how those experiences shaped me. The response was overwhelming; I received messages from strangers, colleagues, friends, and acquaintances, thanking me for my bravery and affirming that my story would help so many people. One woman, for instance, messaged me saying, “For years I thought I was just broken. I thought no one could ever understand how I feel, but listening to you was like hearing my own brain out loud”. That kind of response truly floors me and constantly reminds me why I do this. I’ve even had people in the corporate world, individuals you’d never suspect, pull me aside after speaking events to quietly confess their own struggles. Crucially, this openness has also given my daughter the room to heal and grow, as she now sees me not just as her mum, but as a whole person who has clawed her way back from rock bottom.
My single greatest achievement is building a new and beautiful relationship with my daughter, I am truly grateful for this every single day.
What character traits have you transferred from your addiction to your current achievements? Please share both the positive and negative.
It’s fascinating to look at how certain character traits, deeply ingrained during my addiction, have now been channeled into my achievements in recovery.
On the positive side, my hyperfocus has been a game-changer. My ADHD brain thrives on new, interesting, and challenging pursuits, allowing me to dive in completely. This hyper-focus became my approach to rehab itself; I couldn’t learn enough about addiction and recovery. Similarly, my relentlessness and drive — the belief that failure simply isn’t an option — has transferred directly into my business ventures. I now harness an energy unlike anything I’ve known before, and it’s a quality I’m truly proud of. My ability for crisis management and problem-solving has also proved invaluable. ADHD, for me, means my brain goes into a hyper-focused state when things go wrong, locking onto the problem and seeing multiple solutions without panicking. Finally, my natural adaptability and insatiable curiosity mean I can quickly find common ground and embrace new learning, which is crucial for continuous growth.
However, there are also traits that, while powerful, required significant reframing. My all-or-nothing thinking once fueled destructive cycles, but in sobriety, it’s been reframed into being “all in” for recovery. My past self-sabotage and addiction to adrenaline stemmed from a constant chase for dopamine, often leading me to push through exhaustion, hunger, and thirst without balance. Learning to recognize this means I now consciously implement routines and self-care to avoid burnout, rather than relying on external “stops” like alcohol. Similarly, a lifetime of masking and people-pleasing often meant I sacrificed my own needs. In recovery, I’ve learned the vital skill of saying “no” and truly backing myself. Lastly, rumination and overthinking once trapped me in repetitive, looping thoughts. Now, practices like meditation and focusing on present thinking are essential tools to manage this and pull myself back into the “right now”. For me it is always progress over perfection
Can you share five pieces of advice that you would give to a person who is struggling with some sort of addiction but is ashamed to speak about it or get help?
- Recognize addiction as an illness, not a moral failing: You are not a bad person trying to be good, but a sick person trying to get well. Addiction is a progressive illness affecting mind, body, and soul, not a choice or a matter of willpower.
- Listen to the quiet voice and challenge your internal lies: If you’ve ever secretly Googled “Do I drink too much?” or “Am I an alcoholic?”, that quiet voice is the truth telling you something isn’t right. Your addict brain is cunning and will spin lies to convince you everything’s fine. Don’t wait for a “perfect time” to act, because life doesn’t pause for you to fix yourself. Grab onto that whisper of truth and act now.
- Seek connection and understanding from fellow addicts: Speak to someone in recovery; they speak your language and offer a unique understanding that friends and family, despite their best efforts, often cannot. This connection is powerful and creates a bond unlike any other.
- Focus on manageable, day-by-day goals: The idea of lifelong sobriety can be overwhelming and unrealistic. Instead, commit to “go to bed with a sober head” just for today, and repeat that promise tomorrow. Use tools like “playing it forward” to visualize the negative consequences of even one drink.
- Let go of control and embrace support: You cannot overcome addiction alone; your own brain got you into this situation and cannot get you out. Sobriety is about letting go of self-reliance, control, and resentment, and accepting help from a higher power or a supportive community like AA.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
The Comedian, Actor and Mental Health Advocate Ruby Wax. I grew up watching her on TV in the 90’s and her show Ruby Wax Meets.. was simply one of the funniest things I had seen. She is so quick witted and unpredictable. I was utterly gripped by her. Later in life she had serious mental health issues and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. To better understand her own brain she studied and obtained a master’s degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. In many ways I draw parallels to her, from using humour as armour through to my relentless drive to learn everything I can about “my two brains”, addiction and recovery. This helps me greatly but more importantly, like Ruby, I can help others by speaking up. Her openness around mental health and neurodiversity is exactly the kind of public discourse needed to dismantle the shame that keeps so many silently suffering, aligning perfectly with my mission to ‘break the shame’ around addiction.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Serena Palmer of Serena Consulting: www.serena.consulting
My LinkedIn profile https://www.linkedin.com/in/serenapalmer/
“My Two Brains and Me” available on Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/ew8VtfR
Straight Outta Rehab: Daily Journal: https://amzn.eu/d/bi5NhOQ
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
Serena Palmer of Serena Consulting On How To Achieve Great Success After Recovering From An… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.