Chosen Families: Peter Samuelson Of ROKindness On Why Adoption and Foster Parenting Matter More Than Ever
I teach them that giving is the highest and noblest instinct of a human being — that it lifts us up, and that beyond anything else, it makes the world revolve every day.
The definition of family keeps evolving, and adoption and foster parenting play an increasingly vital role in providing stability, love, and opportunity for children in need. Countless young people are waiting for safe, supportive homes, while many adults feel called to step into caregiving roles in meaningful ways. But the journey of building a chosen family — through adoption or foster care — comes with both profound rewards and real challenges. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Peter Samuelson.
Peter Samuelson is an author, Founder and President of First Star, a leading international charity serving youth in foster care. He is also a successful film producer and a serial pro-social entrepreneur. In 1982 he co-founded the Starlight Children’s Foundation; by 1990 the positive psychological impact of Starlight seeded his next pro-social endeavor, Starbright World, co-founded with Steven Spielberg. 1999 saw the formation of First Star, 2005 EDAR Everyone Deserves a Roof, and 2013 saw him launch ASPIRE, the Academy for Social Purpose in Responsible Entertainment. In the midst of all this Peter has produced 26 films and raised four children. Educated at Cambridge and the Anderson School of Management at UCLA, Peter resides in Los Angeles with his wife Saryl, and continues to fight every day for those less fortunate, chief among them abused and neglected children. He is the CEO of ROKindness.org.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? How did you grow up?
I was first in my family to college, earning miraculously a Full Scholarship to Cambridge University. I graduated with my Masters, and realized there was no work at all for me in the UK. But I’d done some French interpreting in Morocco for an American film producer called Tony Busching. He invited me to come back to Los Angeles and work for him. And there the adventure began.
What’s a moment from your childhood that you didn’t realize mattered until much later?
My 10th grade English teacher, Mr. Lund, told me to see him after school. He said, “If you work twice as hard, you can go to a really good university.” I laughed at him and replied, “My father left school at 14. Nobody in my family has ever been to university.” Mr. Lund said, “That’s even better, because you will be the first one.”
Great. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about adoption and foster parenting. Please tell us a bit about your foster parenting or adoption journey.
I founded FirstStar.org with Sherry Quirk in 1999 because I thought it was ridiculous that only 9% of the nation’s 400,000 foster kids went to college, and that only half those earned a degree. I thought then and now that education is the single best uplift for kids who have been abused or neglected and ended up living with strangers. We are now partnered with fifteen universities in the U.S. and three in the U.K. We house, educate and encourage high-school aged foster kids for four years, grades 9 through 12. The Scholars excel once they understand what is possible. This June, 90% went on to colleges and universities. You read that right: ten times the benchmark!
What inspired you to found and run First Star?
From my other entrepreneurships, I realized there was an obvious, huge need, and that nobody was addressing it. So I thought I should. First Star has educated well over 1500 foster youth, and I’ve mentored many of them. I wrote the book Finding Happy (Simon & Schuster / Regalo, 2025) for them.
Can you share a story about the most meaningful moment for you so far in this journey?
In our First Star Academies on university campuses for high school-aged foster youth across the US and the UK, I designed a two-class empathy curriculum. Other than film-making, it is the only class I feel qualified to teach. “Random Opportunities for Kindness” is for our Scholars, foster kids aged fourteen to eighteen, youth and young adults to whom life has dealt a raw deal.
This course encourages emotion often, and deeply. I tell our Scholars — street-hardened though most are, through abuse and neglect — that it is OK for men to cry, and that from time to time they should allow life to give them the excuse. I teach them that giving is the highest and noblest instinct of a human being — that it lifts us up, and that beyond anything else, it makes the world revolve every day. It is counter-intuitive to the Scholars at first, that they should consider being generous, when they themselves are so deprived. But by the end it creates magic in their hearts, and they love it.
I start by asking the class why, if Darwin was right, and if the world is a ruthless jungle where only the fittest survive, would anyone ever be kind? Why ever would a person passing a homeless man or woman sleeping on the sidewalk quietly slip a five-dollar bill under their arm? Why do we feel moved to help those less fortunate, often anonymously and with zero personal benefit? We go on to define and discuss the Golden Rule, the sense of equity, of balance, of social and personal justice, that exists in the scriptures of every single religion of the 170 in the world. And we ask, “But is it only religious?” and we parse the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which tells us that in any closed system — whether it is an engine, a garden, a family, a city, or a planet — if energy is not applied, entropy drives the system, over time, to random chaos: the engine seizes up if you don’t oil it, the garden grows full of weeds, the family implodes, the city is overrun with crime, and life on the planet dies out.
Generosity, I discover, is not initially intuitive for every fourteen-year-old foster youth. If any human is raped, beaten, starved, and ignored, their thoughts understandably do not automatically go to “How can I help others around me?” But the instinct is invariably still there, and in the second class, we go from theory to practice, as the students compete to help others. It gets to the point where nobody can do anything for themselves…. It becomes a funny, happy, shared, humane experience in communal self-support. These young adults are my heroes.
We tell each student that one of our donors, my friend Mort in Texas, has anonymously put up some money, and thus each of them now has the ability to give away $200. There are rules: you can’t give it to yourself; A cannot give it to B and then B gives it back to A. That would be cheating. It is supervised, tight, and the ethics are clear. We start with a written proposal by each student. Many are remarkable explorations of what really matters in a life. Jimmy wrote, “I am adding ten dollars of my own, because that makes $210. It takes $70 at the humane shelter to stop them killing a stray dog. So I can save three dogs. Because the last time I was there, I looked into the eyes of a puppy that had been badly beaten and I saw my own eyes, because I was badly beaten too.”
Can you describe how the experience of running FirstStar.org has made you a better person and a better leader?
Teaching Random Opportunities for Kindness to foster youth is the direct inspiration for my joining Kevin Smith in founding ROKindness.org… If Kindness is such an uplifting effort for foster kids, why not a platform to enable and encourage everyone to make it part of their lives? We need to push back on the hatred and cruelty that are unravelling our civilization. ROKindness.org is my contribution. Have a look!
How else has fostering or adoption changed you as a person? Please explain.
I have learned much more about resilience, ambition and human courage from our special First Star kids than I have ever taught them.
What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about fostering and adoption that you would like to dispel? Can you share a story that helps challenge or reframe those assumptions?
Met with a high school principal to ask why he had removed one of our kids from the math class. “How is he going to pass the SAT and go to college if you don’t teach him math?” we asked. “Well, he’s not going to college, is he?” said the principal. “Why do you say that?” we asked. “Well, he’s a foster kid; they never go to college” he replied. Go figure. There’s nothing the matter with these young adults, but a lot the matter with the grown-up around them.
Can you describe a particularly challenging moment you faced in this journey? How did you navigate it, and what did you learn that could help others in similar situations?
When the kids arrive in First Star as 9th graders, some of them act out, because nobody ever cared, so nor did they. I learned not to put more than two students to a room overnight, lest one hurting soul influence the others poorly. Once they realize we care about them, they become the greatest defenders of the program.
Please share your “Five Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Adoption and Foster Parenting.”
1. Very little the matter with the kids. Lots the matter with the grown-ups.
Children in the system are often stigmatized by the adults around them, when in reality, they are resilient young people who simply haven’t been given the same support as their peers. When we shift the focus to the adults’ responsibility to provide that support, the outcomes for the children change drastically.
2. Amor Vincit Omnia: Once they know you care about them, everything gets better.
The most transformative power in a foster child’s life is the realization that someone genuinely cares about their future. Love and consistent support are the foundations upon which all other progress is built.
3. We tell them “If you fall off the ladder, don’t worry, we’ll put you back. But only you can move your feet to climb higher. And by the way, it is YOUR ladder.”
Empowerment is key. We provide the safety net and the resources, but the ultimate agency must belong to the young person. Teaching them to own their own trajectory is the best way to prepare them for adulthood.
4. The greatest joy imaginable is watching a foster kid you have helped graduate Summa Cum Laude, when four years ago, their best hope was to sweep the floor in McDonalds or couch-surf.
The transition from a life of instability to one of academic and personal achievement is the ultimate reward. It proves that with the right investment, these young people can achieve anything.
5. Kids is kids… teenagers have their moments. But when Kindness is offered to them, it all gets much better.
At the end of the day, they are still teenagers. They have moments of frustration and growth, but a culture of kindness and understanding creates an environment where they can thrive rather than just survive.
What are some small first steps someone can take if they are curious but unsure?
Your local Child Protective Services can guide you through the no-commitment early baby steps. They are really good at it!
How can communities, not just individuals, better support children and families in the system?
Every community should have a First Star Academy at their university. These kids deserve opportunities, and education is the key to life.
What kind of support made the biggest difference for you?
My seven charities are the work of thousands of wonderful human beings. I am only the founder and one of the leaders. But this is team work at its best.
What gives you hope when you think about the future of adoption and foster care?
Our front runner graduates from First Star now have earned JDs, MBAs, CPAs, PhDs etc. and are entering their leadership worlds. They will all try hard to pull younger kids in foster care up the ladder they have scaled. Watch out world!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most good to the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea might spark.
I’m doing it right now: ROKindness.org transforms everyday kindness into a visible, measurable movement, spreading empathy at a time when we need more. Through a website, mobile apps, and QR cards, participants inspire others to pay kindness forward, creating expanding waves of positive action. Acts of kindness are tracked, mapped, and rewarded through recognition levels that encourage ongoing engagement. The platform partners with families, schools, faith communities, nonprofits, corporations and civic organizations to strengthen community impact. A program of Kindness Worldwide, a nonprofit dedicated to fostering a culture of kindness, ROKindness.org supporters participate, share, partner and volunteer, for lasting social change.
How can our readers follow your work online?
www.firststar.org www.ROKindness.org www.samuelson.LA
This was very meaningful. Thank you so much. We wish you continued success in your important work!
Chosen Families: Peter Samuelson Of ROKindness On Why Adoption and Foster Parenting Matter More… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.