Workplace Conflict Resolution: Denise Garrett Of Courageous Leadership Academy On How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts
An Interview With Eric Pines
Accountability. Team leaders and members must be held accountable for their actions and how they impact team performance.
An important component of leadership is conflict resolution. Why is conflict resolution so important? How can leaders effectively incorporate conflict resolution into their work culture? In this interview series called “Workplace Conflict Resolution: How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts,” we are talking to business leaders who can share insights and anecdotes from their experience about how to implement Conflict Resolution at work. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Denise Garrett.
As a former firefighter and the first female firefighter for her county, Denise knows what it’s like to fight fires — and deal with tragedies — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As a former counselor & certified minister, Denise is an expert at empowering people to overcome conflicts so they achieve their goals — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Denise is known as the “Courage Whisperer” for her empathic listening style and ability to support others in turning their obstacles into opportunities for greater living. Her mission: to co-create peace in our world.
She brings more than 25 years of experience to show you exactly how to turn your challenges and obstacles into opportunities for greater success in each area of your life: personal, professional, financial, and physical. As the CEO of Courageous Leadership Academy, Denise consults with individuals, groups, and organizations so they achieve their vision and mission.
Her genuine care for others shines in everything she does whether she’s speaking on stage, hosting her weekly podcasts, working with clients, or extending a helping hand to a stranger. She loves to teach and share the exact strategies that have allowed her, and her clients, to create a thriving life.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I think I was born to put out fires, literally and figuratively. As a child, I remember my parents arguing a lot. They hurled words at each other that felt like nuclear weapons being launched to destroy. I didn’t understand how this was love, and somehow knew love was different. Later I realized, they were hurting and scared, and this made them lash out at each other. Try as I did, I was unable to make either of them happy or stop their vicious verbal assaults. The same was true for the religious people I encountered. They were angry, scared, and hypocritical. Somehow I knew this was not “God’s way.” I was fascinated by nature, the variety and diversity of it. To me, this meant that whatever created all of this loves diversity; otherwise, there would only be one species or type of anything. So began my quest to discover how to put out the fires of conflict between people.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
As a Firefighter/EMT, I responded to a multiple vehicle accident where one lady was trapped in her car almost 3 hours before we could extricate her from her vehicle. Her car had been rearended and pushed underneath the trailer of an 18-wheeler carrying a heavy load.
She was in serious condition. We did everything we could for her while we waited for the crane we needed to hoist the trailer off her vehicle.
Throughout this time, she was in and out of consciousness.
We started IVs on her and applied other emergency medical treatments to her.
I was positioned in what was left of the backseat of her vehicle behind her because I was the only one on scene small enough to fit. I assisted the paramedics as best I could and held what’s called “C-spine” on her for what felt like forever.
Something in me told me to talk to her. To give her reassurance. That’s exactly what I did for almost 3 solid hours whether she was conscious or unconscious, whether she could hear me or not. I told her we were doing everything we could to get her out and that we would. I reminded her of how much her family loved her…anything I could think of to offer her encouragement and a lifeline to hang on to.
When the crane arrived, we were able to get her in an ambulance and off to the hospital within a few minutes.
Miraculously, she survived. Several months later, she dropped by our fire station looking for me. She wanted to thank the “lady that kept talking to her.” She told me that she didn’t remember everything I said, but that my calm, reassuring demeanor and messages helped pull her through this tragic accident.
What I learned from that is to always listen to my instincts, the power of staying calm and reassuring even when it seems like everything is falling apart, and the power of words to do good.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
My favorite life lesson quote is: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” Henry Ford
This is relevant to everything I’ve accomplished in my life…or have not accomplished. When I come from a place of thinking I can do something, I act vastly different than when I come from a place of thinking I can’t. The former inspires me to act. The latter stops me in my tracks.
This reminds me of the Wright Brothers. Had they thought, as many did, that flight was impossible, they would not have invented, built, and flew the world’s first successful motor-operated airplane.
In my case if I did not think I could run into burning buildings and save people, I would never have tried, and I would have been right about it. However, because I thought I could do this, I became able to do it. The same is true of resolving conflicts because I think I can I most often do.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Imagine an organization with an important global mission. To succeed, this organization needs two very different groups of people to work together for a common cause. The problem was there was tension and conflict between the two groups. They refused to share vital information needed to complete their mission.
When I came on board, things were contentious between the groups. They were hostile, disrespectful, and argumentative. And they absolutely refused to share the information needed to successfully complete their mission.
From my assessment, I quickly understood that from an educational and income perspective, the two groups are not cooperating because of unspoken fear.
By implementing conflict resolution strategies, I was successfully able to get these two groups to collaborate with each other for the greater good of their common mission.
They shared the information needed with each other, developed trust in each other, and went on to successfully collaborate on other important missions.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
The three character traits that are most instrumental to my success are:
- Synchronizing data derived from observing people and the environment.
- Example: By observing people’s verbal and non-verbal communication and engaging them with empathy and compassion, I am better equipped to get at the root cause of someone’s upset. Addressing conflict at the root cause level resolves conflict in a way that keeps the same issue from coming up again and again.
- Managing my automatic listening and strategically implementing generated listening.
- It’s easy to take sides when a disagreement occurs. I tend to automatically agree with one side or the other. But I’ve learned that the power lies in not automatically taking sides. The power lies in managing my automatic listening where I judge people and situations as good/bad or right/wrong. When I stop judging and get interested in what it’s like to be in their world, I uncover valuable information that brings us closer together rather than fanning the flames of our discord and differences. I find win-win solutions that I could not see before resulting in much better outcomes for all involved.
- Understanding that when I am upset, I am afraid I won’t get something I want and addressing that fear.
- Understanding that upsets are sparked when I’m afraid I won’t get something I want allows me to quickly shift into taking personal responsibility for getting it. This makes me more adaptable. If person A can’t give me what I want, then I move on to person B quickly. I’m don’t stay stuck upset that person A won’t give me what I want.
- This quick shift from a victim mindset (they are not helping me) to a “get it done” mindset results in me continuously exploring pathways that lead to me getting what I need to accomplish my goal.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader?
When I was my county’s first female firefighter, one of my teammates was harassing me. He would make offensive comments, crack derogatory jokes about women, and created a hostile work environment. I repeated asked him to stop. He didn’t.
Word of this got to my chain of command. My Captain wanted to fire him. But I knew that if they fired him, the other guys would not trust me or want to work with me. I told my Captain not to fire him that I just wanted his behavior to stop. My Captain insisted that he had to fire him. I told my Captain if he did, I would have to resign because no one would trust me enough to work with me.
Instead of firing the guy that was harassing me, they gave him leave without pay, and advised him that if he did not stop, he would lose his job.
The other guys told him that I was responsible for him keeping his job, and made it clear that I was the only reason he still had his job.
This built more trust between my fellow firefighters and me which paid off in spades.
One could say that either path was a good path. Having him fired would have certainly sent out the message to the troops that harassment was not okay and would not be tolerated reducing the likelihood that I would be harassed in the future.
By not having him fired though, we achieved a much greater end result. The harassment stopped. More trust was established.
The easy thing to do would have been to have the guy fired. Using conflict resolution strategies, the best thing for the team and me was to resolve the conflict in a different way.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does Conflict Resolution mean?
Conflict resolution means the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a peaceful solution to their dispute.
What are some common misunderstandings about Conflict Resolution that are important to clear up?
- Conflict resolution does not mean everyone gets what they want.
- Conflict is bad.
- Only special people can successfully resolve conflicts. They are born with special traits.
- We already have the correct conflict resolution strategies, but still have conflict because not enough people implement these strategies.
- It’s impossible to resolve all conflicts in a peaceful manner.
This might be intuitive to you, but it will be helpful to clearly express this. Can you please explain why it is so important for leaders to learn and deploy conflict resolution techniques?
Implementing conflict resolution strategies:
- Creates a safe workplace
- Helps leaders get the critical, accurate information they need to make tough decisions
- Increases productivity
- Increases employee morale
- Saves money and time
- Leads to greater customer satisfaction and profitability
On the flip side, what happens to a work culture when there is not an effective way of resolving conflict? How does it impact employees?
Without conflict resolution strategies:
- Unstable, unsafe workplace.
- Leaders do not get the kind of information they need to make the best decisions for their company.
- Significant decrease in productivity and morale.
- Lose money as employees are less productive and handle customers with less finesse.
- Loss of time devoted to work projects as employees engage in non-company related activities on the clock to avoid facing unaddressed conflicts.
- Loss of money and time as employees form cliques and complain about the unaddressed conflicts in the workplace.
- Low employee morale spills over to customers leaving customers dissatisfied with the company which results in a loss of profits.
- In rare cases, workplace violence can occur.
Can you provide examples of how effective conflict resolution has led to increased team performance, collaboration, or innovation within your organization?
At the heart of conflict lies what appears to be competing or incompatible needs.
I once consulted with a company where Mike wanted unlimited vacation days because he worked a ton of overtime, was always on call, and almost always responded to all IT crises.
The CEO of Mike’s Company, James, refused “under any circumstances” to consider Mike’s request for unlimited vacation days. He needed the work to be completed — period!
Their relationship became antagonistic as both thought the other was being unreasonable.
Mike was ready to quit and go to another company which would have been a significant loss to James’ company.
Using conflict resolution strategies, we were able to get at the heart of Mike’s upset. He was tired of always being on call and of responding to over 95% of IT crises that occurred. He wanted uninterrupted time for himself and his family.
In talking things over, it turned out that Mike had not had a true vacation for over 4 years. James was not aware of any of this.
Once James became aware of Mike’s dedication to his company, he was willing to look for solutions to meet Mike’s desire to have uninterrupted time off work.
In talking with Mike, what he really wanted was not unlimited vacation. What he wanted was quality time with his family. When asked what this looked like, Mike said he wanted to attend 80% or more his kids extracurricular activities without being on call. He also wanted to take vacation time off without being on call. And Mike wanted more support handling IT crises.
James identified the need to train someone to support Mike in resolving IT crises, and agreed that once this person was trained up, Mike could have uninterrupted time off for family events and vacations.
This led to both parties being satisfied with the resolution they came to together.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “Five Ways Every Team Leader Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts”? If you can, please share specific examples of a workplace conflict you’ve encountered, and how you applied conflict resolution techniques to address it.
- Role-modeling. Role model how to resolve conflicts in a non-judgmental, peaceful way. When you stay calm & respectful, your people tend to stay calm and respectful.
- Listening. Go beyond active listening. Exemplify how to manage your automatic listening filters and implement generated listening filters. Teach your team how to do this too.
- Become an expert in resolving the 3 key elements of an upset: Thwarted Intentions, Unfulfilled Expectations, and Withholds. Support your team in becoming experts in resolving upsets too.
- Invite coopetition vs. competition. Together we go much farther than we do alone.
- Accountability. Team leaders and members must be held accountable for their actions and how they impact team performance.
In your experience, what are the most common sources of conflict within a team, and how do you proactively address these potential issues before they escalate?
In my experience, the most common sources of conflict within a team are:
- Fear
- The need to be right and make others bad or wrong
- Winner vs. loser mindset
- Loss of focus on mission
- Lack of a clear mutually shared vision
- Poverty of imagination
To proactively address the most common sources of conflict within a team, personnel are encouraged to participate in an ongoing personal development program that equips them with the internal tools and skills needed confidently address conflicts. This gives everyone a common language. It also provides them with avenues and skills to address conflicts, or learning opportunities, as they arise. If they are not able to resolve the issue on their own, they automatically know who to go to for further assistance in resolving the matter.
As much as possible, employees are encouraged to resolve issues as they arise vs. letting them fester. Quicker resolution results in better results for all team members and customers.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am developing a program that cultivates peaceful leadership skills based on the idea that everyone deserves to feel safe and live in peace. The philosophy of this program is that peace starts within the individual and then spreads outward into one’s family, friends, communities, organizations and our world.
This program will use a multifaceted approach offering individual training, small group trainings, as well as community and organizational training.
The more peaceful individuals we have, the more peaceful leaders we’ll have providing peaceful resolutions to the conflicts that arise among us so that one day we will experience peace on earth.
How can our readers further follow you online?
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denise-garrett-015ba91/
Website: https://www.courageousleadershipacademy.com/
Courageous Leadership Academy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CourageousLeadershipAcademy/
Spread Good Vibez Podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodvibezer/
Personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/denise.garrett.90475
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!
About the Interviewer: Eric L. Pines is a nationally recognized federal employment lawyer, mediator, and attorney business coach. He represents federal employees and acts as in-house counsel for over fifty thousand federal employees through his work as a federal employee labor union representative. A formal federal employee himself, Mr. Pines began his federal employment law career as in-house counsel for AFGE Local 1923 which is in Social Security Administration’s headquarters and is the largest federal union local in the world. He presently serves as AFGE 1923’s Chief Counsel as well as in-house counsel for all FEMA bargaining unit employees and numerous Department of Defense and Veteran Affairs unions.
While he and his firm specialize in representing federal employees from all federal agencies and in reference to virtually all federal employee matters, his firm has placed special attention on representing Veteran Affairs doctors and nurses hired under the authority of Title. He and his firm have a particular passion in representing disabled federal employees with their requests for medical and religious reasonable accommodations when those accommodations are warranted under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (ADA). He also represents them with their requests for Federal Employee Disability Retirement (OPM) when an accommodation would not be possible.
Workplace Conflict Resolution: Denise Garrett Of Courageous Leadership Academy On How Team Leaders… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.