An interview with Dr. Bharat Sangani
Empathize. EMPATHY is a mindful habit that can greatly support you in leaning into self-compassion and self-love instead of our natural inclination toward negativity and self-criticism. Like any muscle, strengthening your empathy muscle has global positive effects on well-being. Cultivating empathy means finding your authentic inner voice that could talk to you as you would talk to a friend. For example, in these challenging moments with Eden, I put my hand on my heart and close my eyes and say to myself, “This is hard.” “I am here, and I care.” Finding ways to tend to our hearts when life gets hard will help us navigate challenges with greater ease, resilience and balance.
When it comes to health and wellness, small, consistent changes often have the most profound impact. Daily habits, whether in nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, or sleep, can accumulate to create lasting transformations. In this series, we aim to explore the power of small, intentional actions and how they can lead to big health results over time. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Michele Weiss, LMFT, Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, Founder of Mindful Relating.
Michele Weiss, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist for close to 25 years in Chicago. Michele is a mindfulness meditation enthusiast. Her private practice reflects a deep commitment to blending Eastern philosophies with Western psychology, creating a holistic environment for her patients. She brings a blend of therapeutic and soulful practices to leading groups, teaching classes, and writing for media publications. Michele is also a mother of 3 amazing humans, a jam band live music buff, and an uncoordinated (but joyful) musical theater dancer.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?
I got started as a meditator because I was angry. My father, though dedicated and well-meaning, displayed a healthy dose of conflict and explosivity on the regular. Anger was in my wiring. Fast forward to raising 3 children (1 of those children, a baby); managing a full private practice; and being a wife/friend/human- I knew I needed something profoundly steadying and transformative to tame my rage.
So, I found mindfulness meditation. Or it found me on my daily walks with my baby, Eden. At the risk of sounding too saccharine, mindfulness meditation saved my life. I am less angry, and overall walking through the world with a greater sense of ease, balance and wholeheartedness. When you find something that changes your moment-to-moment experience, you want to share it with as many people as you can. Integrating mindfulness meditation into my private practice- and curating groups, trainings and publications with these practices at the fore- has been deeply gratifying and feels like my gift to the world.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person that you are grateful for, who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Mom. There are so many mentors and teachers I am grateful for. But my Mom is the O.G. She is famously known for uttering phrases like “Breathe the air!” and “This is my best day!” She taught me mindfulness before mindfulness was a “thing.” Thanks, Mom, for giving me the best of me.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Presence — Learning to be with myself was not easy. Sitting down on my cushion to meditate can still often feel like unleashing The Mad Hatter. But with time and practice, and a commitment to showing up to myself with grace and compassion, I have come to find that my heart is big enough to include whatever is there. To be a leader, one needs to get to know the fullness of oneself. Presence has allowed me a kind of intimacy and welcoming of myself back home.
Self-compassion — A very gauzy term, I know. And hear me out, it has been the single most supportive therapuetic tool I have offered to myself and to my patients. Most of us have an internal critic who can be tyrannical, punitive and relentless. Worse yet, we believe this inner tyrant, and hear its words as commandments. Self-compassion (or loving awareness or whatever word you can tolerate in this vain) is the antedote that quiets the inner dictator. In its place develops an internal freedom- the freedom to stand in my power as the leader I am destined to be with the ability to then lead from that deep well of compassion.
Curiosity — When I am listening more than I am talking, I feel like a leader. When I am asking questions instead of assuming I have the answers, I feel like a leader. When I am humble instead of covering over feelings of fear or lack, I feel like a leader. When I am seeing with fresh eyes instead of operating from habit and reflex, I feel like a leader. When I am curious from my heart and full presence, not just from my mind, I feel like a leader.
Ok, fantastic. Let’s now turn to the crux of our interview. Can you share a small health habit you adopted that had an unexpectedly large impact on your physical or mental well-being? What inspired you to make that change?
A very small health habit I adopted was to meditate daily. I did this because I ran out of alternatives. I was angry, burnt out and home schooling 3 children during COVID. I needed to hang onto a thread of sanity. Meditation seemed trendy and like the “thing” to do. I tried it in very small doses. A few breaths. One minute. A few moments in my closet while hiding from my children. Ten minutes in my car while hiding from my children (again). And it worked. Breath by breath, I discovered that mindfulness meditation greatly improved my mental health (less anxiety, reactivity and stress). I found that my relationships significantly improved; I was more patient, present and compassionate. Now, I creatively squeeze “Mindful Relating Moments” into my life as a busy mom, wife and therapist. Yes, I sit on the cushion to formally mediate daily. But, I also use mindfulness meditation practices while waiting in traffic, standing in line at the grocery store and interacting with the coffee barista. It’s the most robust mental training and lifestyle wellness approach I know personally and have discovered in my 25 years in the field.
What advice would you give to someone who struggles with consistency? How can they build daily habits without becoming overwhelmed?
Great question. First, I would say, you are not alone. Our biological wiring conditions us to stick with what we know and what is comfortable. Changing and building new habits truly goes against the grain. I have two important strategies to support you with habit formation. First, identify your “Why.” When we stay connected to our greater intention, we stay rooted in something larger that anchors us when we get overwhelmed or frustrated. It’s helpful to write down your “Why” so that you can refer back to it. Some of my patients even write their ”Why”on Post-It notes that hang on bathroom mirrors or kitchen calendars. Remembering your ”Why” is that North Star to guide you when you get stuck or lose your way. Second, choose the most micro, itty-bitty shift that you can make toward your habit- and do that. When we break habit formation down into manageable chunks, the prospects of overwhelm and fatigue lessen. For example, if you have The New Year’s Resolution of hitting the gym on the regular, start with the action step of going to the gym once per week. Once you have achieved that step, add another day to the regimen. When we try to eat the whole pie at once, to keep the analogy going, we set ourselves up for frustration and failure. Take it step by step. *A note on the word “consistent”. When it comes to habit formation, consistency is not linear or perfect. Habit formation by its very nature includes inconsistency which may mean days off, failed attempts and life getting in the way. Always refer back to your “Why” and your micro steps- and keep going!
How do you identify which habits are worth focusing on, and which might not provide meaningful results? Do you use any specific frameworks or tracking methods?
In order to identify which habits are worth focusing on, and will provide meaningful results for you, you need to take a moment to reflect on your values. Your value framework is an important blueprint by which worthy habits should align. For example, if self-care is your value, it behooves you to pursue habits that make you feel a sense of well-being and wholeness (rather than habits that deplete or constrict you). If building community is your value, it makes good sense for you to pursue habits such as volunteering and being of service in communities that feel meaningful to you. Using tracking methods that concretize your action steps and progress such as keeping a journal log or digital apps are supportive. Perhaps just as important are the internal tracking methods. Looking within and noticing which habits make you feel more alive, connected and whole. Looking within and fielding habits that align with your values will not only connect you with your greater purpose, these are the habits that will be long-lasting.
Can you explain how compounding benefits work when it comes to daily health habits? Have you experienced any surprising long-term transformations from seemingly small changes?
Absolutely. Psychologists call this a positive feedback loop which is essentially the concept that positive action leads to good feelings, which leads to more positive action and more good feelings. It’s a beautiful natural feedback system built in by Mother Nature that we can use to our advantage. For example, when I go to the gym first thing in the morning, I get my serotonin and endorphins pumping, which makes me feel great. While I am on that natural high, I am motivated to do another positive action- meditate. After I meditate, I feel even better. And on the day goes with that positive momentum kicked into gear to inspire more positive actions (and good feelings) to manifest as the day progresses.
Because of positive feedback loops, small changes become the key to long-term transformations. This is actually how I developed my business blurb “Mindful Relating: Change your Moments. Change your Life.” When we work with how we are relating to our moments — we are practicing how we will relate to our lives. If you want to be kind, do one act of kindness. And then another. If you want to be patient, practice one minute of patience with your child. And then your spouse. And then the check-out person at the grocery store. Life is our Teacher. When we use small moments in daily life to practice who we want to be, we become the person we want to be.
What are “5 Health Habits That Lead to Great Results ”?
Mindful Relating: When we relate to our daily moments with mindfulness, we change our lives. Mindful Relating is a term which I coined to describe how we can bring conscious awareness to each life moment in ways that make us feel more alive, whole and connected. I developed the acronym L.O.V.E. to describe 4 Mindful Relating habits that lead to great results!
- Look
The first mindfulness habit is looking within and getting intimate with your inner world. Bringing awareness to your internal landscape of thoughts and emotions is the first step toward change. Ask yourself on the regular, “What am I feeling?” “What am I needing?” “How is it living in this body right now?” Getting back to my now 5-year-old Eden, when she is doing what 5-year-olds are supposed to do (complain, whine, stomp her feet in protest), the most important habit I can use in that moment is to LOOK within myself. “Ok, that’s annoyance. That’s frustration. That’s exhaustion.” If I take a pause and give space to my experience in the moment of her tantrum, I am much more apt to respond with choice and intentionality in the moments that follow.
I promise you- the mindful habit of looking inward, when something outward is provocative, will get you better results in your life.
2. Open
The mindful habit of OPENING to your experience, just as it is, is the next step. We don’t do a lot of this. We prefer to resist, avoid, detour, numb and fill-in-the-blank of your preferred habitual response. This is a natural and built-in fight, flight, fix and freeze response that we have been intelligently wired with to ward off perceived danger. While this natural biological response is extremely helpful when you come across a bear in the woods, it is not helpful when your child is yelling or when you are fighting with our spouse. Instead, the Mindful Relating habit is to OPEN to your experience, just as it is. Can you allow space (and even welcome) the feelings, thoughts and sensory reactions that you are having? In the case of Eden, can I open to and allow the feelings of annoyance, frustration and exhaustion to be (instead of resisting and fighting my emotions or guilting myself for having them at all)? The counterintuitive irony is that when we open to our actual lived experience, we provide space for our emotions to be metabolized- and we move through them. When we disavow or repress parts of our experience, those experiences stick around, and we have worse outcomes.
3. Vitalize
The body keeps the score. Though most of us walk around as if our heads are totally separate and disconnected from our bodies, using the mindful habit of VITALIZING (sensing into our bodies) helps us live fuller lives. Vitalizing gets us in the habit of feeling into the raw data of our bodies. For example, in my interaction with Eden, I noticed frustration. Well, “frustration” is just a word and a concept. What does “frustration” actually feel like from the inside out in my body? Frustration feels like a pit in stomach, tightness in chest, and hotness in face. Getting embodied helps us actually feeling our feelings- and work them through. In order to vitalize, ask yourself questions such as, “How does this emotion or thought actually manifest in my body?” “Does it have a color, shape or texture in my body?” “Where is it located in my body?” Getting into the habit of vitalizing, feeling into the raw data of the body, is an essential part of living your best life.
4. Empathize
EMPATHY is a mindful habit that can greatly support you in leaning into self-compassion and self-love instead of our natural inclination toward negativity and self-criticism. Like any muscle, strengthening your empathy muscle has global positive effects on well-being. Cultivating empathy means finding your authentic inner voice that could talk to you as you would talk to a friend. For example, in these challenging moments with Eden, I put my hand on my heart and close my eyes and say to myself, “This is hard.” “I am here, and I care.” Finding ways to tend to our hearts when life gets hard will help us navigate challenges with greater ease, resilience and balance.
The final mindful habit I want to discuss is the practice of GRATITUDE. Practicing gratitude means that you regularly say “thank you” for what you have. Studies show that getting into the habit of gratitude has positive effects on mental health and well-being. Practicing gratitude is associated with increased happiness and life satisfaction; reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety; improved sleep and overall physical health outcomes; and better relationships. Try this: in the morning when you first wake up or just before bed, try saying “thank you” for breath, another day, good friends, dogs, music, fresh carrots from the garden, watching the seasons change and whatever feels personal and meaningful for you. Make a habit of doing this every morning or every night, and you will gradually notice a shift in your overall functioning.
What role does mindset play in forming new habits? How do you maintain motivation when the results aren’t immediately visible?
Mindset is critical when forming new habits. Many people refer to a positive mindset, but I prefer the term “growth mindset”. If we are more aligned with the concept of growth, rather than needing to squeeze into an idealized version of “positive”, we set ourselves up for a more realistic version of change. Growth by its definition includes, and even welcomes, moments of success, failure, apathy, aversion, helplessness- all that is required and part of the package of change. Having a growth mindset allows us to be human and learn about ourselves as we succeed, fail, resist, fight, detour and do all of the things that we have been conditioned to do- and keep going with these learnings as an important part of habit formation.
When results aren’t immediately visible, you can maintain motivation by remembering your “Why” and your focus on small itty-bitty steps. When you stay connected to your greater intention and value system, you re-connect with your purpose and why sticking with this habit really matters. When you stay focused on your small steps, you can see and celebrate your small victories.
How can our readers further follow your work?
I would love to connect with you! You can find me at www.mindfulrelating.org and on IG @mindful_relating_therapist.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Dr. Bharat Sangani is a cardiologist and entrepreneur with over 35 years of experience, practicing in Gulfport, Mississippi, and Dallas, Texas. Board-certified in Internal Medicine and Cardiology, he specializes in diagnosing, treating, and preventing cardiovascular diseases, including heart disease and hypertension. In 1999, Dr. Sangani founded Encore Enterprises, a national real estate investment firm. Under his leadership, the company has executed transactions exceeding $2 billion, with a portfolio spanning residential, retail, hotel, and office developments. Known for his emphasis on integrity and fairness, Dr. Sangani has built Encore into a major player in the commercial real estate sector. Blending his medical and business expertise, Dr. Sangani created the Life is a Business mentorship program. The initiative offers guidance on achieving balance in health, wealth, and relationships, helping participants align personal and professional goals. Now based in Dallas, Texas, Dr. Sangani continues to practice cardiology while leading Encore Enterprises and mentoring others. His career reflects a unique blend of medical expertise, entrepreneurial spirit, and dedication to helping others thrive.
The Power of Daily Habits: Michele Weiss LMFT On How Small Health Changes Can Lead to Big Results was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.