An Interview With Edward Sylvan
I’ve always thought that the fundamental roles of an athlete are to do three things: one is to win yes, but importantly to influence your sport and inspire others positively too, with how you win and how you conduct yourself. And that’s what I’ve tried to do with my career.
As a part of our series about sports stars who are making a social impact, I had the pleasure of interviewing Shaun Tomson.
World Surfing Champion Shaun Tomson has been recognized as one of the 10 greatest surfers of all time.
Tomson has issued a new book on overcoming life’s obstacles drawing on the pain of losing a child and the strengths he acquired becoming a sports leader. The Surfer and the Sage: A Guide to Survive and Ride Life’s Waves (Familius Publishing) employs surfing as a metaphor to analyze 18 “breaking waves” of life, including loss, depression, aging and relationship changes.
Tomson, a native South African who has won surfing championships around the world, recently launched the book on NBC’s Today show on August 1. He emphasized the Code Method (described in the book), which stems from his decades of surfing experience and is a simple system to find purpose in everyday life. The Code is based on using the power of one’s own will to defend against the rigors of life and calls for individuals to devise 12 life-affirming commitments for themselves to follow or a successful life path.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Can you share with us the “backstory” that led you to your career path in professional sports?
I started surfing back in South Africa decades ago when I was nine years old.
My father was a champion swimmer — his dream was to go and compete in the Olympics. However, he was very badly attacked by a shark while on a wooden surfboard, but he never lost this amazing love that he had for the ocean and taught me to swim and surf, 100 yards away from where he’d had this terrible attack. It was actually one of the first recorded attacks of a shark on the surfer.
The moment I stood up on a board for the first time, surfing gripped me, and it has never let go. A big turning point for me was when my Dad took me with my stepmom to Hawaii for my bar mitzvah present. I’m Jewish and a bar mitzvah is what happens when you turn 13 — it’s a celebration of coming into manhood. My father took me to Hawaii to surf the big waves because he knew how much I loved surfing. He loved Hawaii too — he’d been there to recuperate from his shark attack and had met the legendary Kahanamoku family who had been his swimming heroes.
After I returned from Hawaii, I came back with a lot of confidence, and I started to do well in local events. While I was doing my national service in the army when I was 17 years old, I won my first major international contest, and that kind of set me up for a career in pro surfing, just as it was all starting to come together. Along with a crew of guys in Australia and Hawaii, we actually built professional surfing from a dream into a circuit that is today with tens of millions of dollars. So, it’s very gratifying to look back and be recognized as one of the founders of this wonderful sport and also of the surfing industry that’s today worth around about $100 billion.
I also created one of the first companies in the new surfing industry called Instinct. In fact, I sponsored two other surfers to become world champions while I was competing against them — Tom Carroll from Australia won 2 world titles, and Barton won once, so it was wonderful to be both building a sport, building an industry, and also to be mentoring guys that I was actually competing against as well.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting story that occurred to you in the course of your career? What were the lessons or takeaways that you took out of that story?
A pretty funny story occurred after I retired from the pro surfing circuit. I was actually working at a wonderful company called Patagonia in Ventura and there’s a surfing break right near the HQ and I was out surfing one day. I saw a guy in the lineup looking at me like he knew me. I smiled at him, and he paddled over to me, and he said, “You look like someone I know.” And he asked, “Are you from here?” And I said, “No I’m not from here.”
I asked who he thought I looked like? He said, “You look like Shaun Tomson.” I said smiling, “I am Shaun Tomson.” He looked at me sternly and said, “You wish” and paddled off. The takeaway is that you never take fame seriously — it’s illusory.
What would you advise a young person who wants to emulate your success
I’d like to think that in my career I’ve been a positive influence and an inspiration. I don’t think I would like anyone to emulate my success. I think every athlete must follow their own path. I would just like to be thought of more as a source of inspiration. But there are certain aspects to success that I think are relatively easy to emulate but they are rather difficult and challenging to follow. One of them is maintaining that passion, maintaining the deep love that you have for whatever sporting endeavor you’ve focused on, and always remembering the fun aspect — the joy.
You know I can still remember the moment I got up on a board for the first time and seeing the world differently in that moment and being stoked. Certainly, that feeling has really been a guiding light for me — that feeling of fun and freedom, and it is so important to keep that always, no matter which sport you choose.
Also, discipline — I stayed away from drugs, stayed away from the dark side of surfing.
I did my very best to be a great supporter of pro surfing. We help build it and create it out of just having a dream of one day being able to make a living from going surfing. I always felt very protective about my sport, and I always felt that I needed to respect it and needed to treat it with reverence and needed to treat it with honor.
When I was in the water I was a very tough competitor but on the land, I tried to be fair. I really subscribed to a philosophy that my father told me about when I was very young. He would say to me, “Son, winning is easy. When you win, win like a gentleman, and when you lose, lose like a man.” He would say that every single judge’s decision is carved in stone, and no matter how much complaining or crying or moaning you do, that score is never going be changed, so just accept it and move on. I think that was fundamental to my success, to my winning mindset. Acceptance and optimism. As an athlete, do not ever dwell on the defeat — always look forward optimistically and hopefully to the next wave to the next event.
Is there a person that made a profound impact on your life? Can you share a story?
Certainly, two people — one is my Mom and the other my Dad. They were both fundamentally important to my development as an athlete. My mom had this wonderful spirit of hope and optimism and made me realize that while athletic success is important, academic success is equally as important. From my father I learned so much about sportsmanship and honor and also that sport is a fun family event.
He would take the whole family to the beach, and he’d take us on holidays that revolved around the beach. He gave of his time, and I think for any parent it’s so important for them to give their time and enjoy being with their children.
One of my favorite stories is about my father and about how he looked at competition. He would not instruct me but showed me a path with his actions. The first big pro contest that I had the opportunity to win was when I was 17 years old in the army. It was a close final and there were tens of thousands of spectators. There were 6 of us finalists, and the judges didn’t announce the results instantaneously like they do now. They would wait for all the finalists to come in and they’d like to create the suspense and drama. The six finalists were all standing on a podium and there had to be 30,000 people there. It was a very big event and there was a tall tower on the beach where the judges worked, and my father was in the tower, and I looked up at him and I knew that everyone in the tower knew the results.
I looked up at him beseechingly to tell me how I had done. I knew it was very, very close — I knew I was first or second. It was my first big chance. He was about three stories up and he looked down at me and he gave me the thumbs down. So it was a very big disappointment. And then they started announcing the results 5th, 4th, 3rd and in first place Shaun Tomson! I was absolutely stunned. I looked up at my Dad and I saw he was cracking up — he was laughing his head off. I’ve reached that absolute high point in my career and here’s a father who is showing me that competition is really important, but it’s not life and death, and it’s important but it is not everything. You can still have a joke about it — yes, it is absolutely consuming. but it is not all-consuming. My Dad taught me that while competition is serious, it’s not deadly serious. When you put too much weight on competition success at a very young age, I think it can have really a negative impact on a young athlete’s future development and progress.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about what it is like being a professional sports player?
I think one of the myths is that practice is hard work. For me it was never like that. I know during my 16-year career on the world professional circuit I surfed more than anyone else on the planet. Some days I would serve 8 hours a day and I did it, not because I wanted to practice and be better, but because I loved it so much. For me, often the best parts of surfing were outside of contests — simply free surfing. I never called those sessions practice. I could never call what I did in the water prior to events as practice because I just thought it was the most fun you could have on the planet.
Let’s now move to the main part of our discussion. How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world? Can you share with us the meaningful or exciting causes you are working on right now?
I’ve always thought that the fundamental roles of an athlete are to do three things: one is to win yes, but importantly to influence your sport and inspire others positively too, with how you win and how you conduct yourself. And that’s what I’ve tried to do with my career.
Certainly, during the time I was on the pro tour, I was very involved in helping build and create professional surfing and create a positive influence as an athlete.
In terms of my life now, I think I’ve activated my influence to really help others live a better life. I co-produced and co-wrote an award-winning documentary, Bustin’ Down the Door, have written five books, and most of the books have dealt with finding purpose to make life better for oneself and for the broader world. My books are all about activating purpose so that’s my mission — how to help people activate purpose to live a better life.
I do this by having people write their Code — their path to a better life.
It started with a simple code that I wrote to inspire a group of children that were coming down to Rincon, a famous surfing beach that was impacted from an environmental problem. I wanted to find a way to empower environmental consciousness. So, I wrote in 20 minutes the 12 most important lessons that surfing had taught me about life, and I printed these 12 lines on a little card — every single line beginning with the words “I will…”
I will always paddle back out, I’ll never turn my back on the ocean, I’ll realize it all surfers are joined by one ocean, I will take the drop with commitment and other lines — 12 in all. I printed out these words on to a little credit card and made 100 cards and gave them out to the children. The cards became popular and turned into a groundswell and we just kept printing thousands of these cards to hand out. The cards ultimately led to my first best-selling book, Surfer’s Code — a collaboration with a young university professor Patrick Moser.
I then started speaking to universities, schools, PTSD survivors, athletes, sports teams, inmates in prisons, and the largest and most powerful corporations in the world. I’d show people how to use the simple Code concept to activate purpose in their lives to live a better life. Everyone writes 12 lines, every line beginning with “I will” and then they share these lines with one another.
What does this do?
Yes, the process helps create and reengage one with one’s life purpose, but it also helps people find the best version of themselves. And then they share this best version of themselves with their colleagues, with their peers, with their family, with their team members, and it creates this wave of emotional contagion throughout the group, or organization and ultimately throughout the world. I’m hoping that every single student in every school in the world at any time in their development will write their Code — 12 lines, every line beginning with I will.
It’s a way to find your purpose — it’s a way to find your power — it’s a way to find your path.
So, these are the methods that I’m using to share my Code Method most effectively with the world. I speak to about 100,000 people a year in all sorts of different groups. Every time I do a paid group for a large corporation, I do a free event for a nonprofit — a school, a university, a sports team, a group of inmates or a religious group. Sometimes I ask the corporation to nominate, sometimes I just do it myself.
I was in Australia recently — I spoke to two schools — 500 students — both of the schools have been wiped out by floods. I take the same message of hope and commitment to other groups. it’s so important I think for people to realize that essentially in our lives we all want the same thing, that we are way more connected than we are divided, and the Code is certainly a way to bring people together through common commitments.
When people stand up and in a group and they write “I will be a better father”, “I will be a better husband”, “I will forgive myself”, “I will do what I say I will do”, “I will have hope”, “ will have faith”, “I will pray “ — it creates this wonderful feeling of warmth and connectedness and goodwill. We need more of this type of engagement; we need more unity in this divided world — currently, Republicans are on one side of the valley and Democrats, on the other hand, there’s this vacant space in between I’m hoping that the Code can be like a bridge of values that brings people together.
What methods are you using to most effectively share your cause with the world?
My most effective methods are face-to-face keynotes and workshops, virtual live streams and books. I reach about 100,000 people a year in the world’s largest corporations, some of the poorest schools, some of the best universities, rehab clinics, government bodies, PTSD survivors, sports teams, athletes, community groups and religious groups.
Anywhere there’s a gathering of people that want to hear a fresh perspective on life and want to hear about a transformational method to make their life better. The Code Method is a simple method to activate purpose to live a better life. So, my system and my method are really simple. It’s really a two-part system — firstly I give a perspective on my life — a life that’s been lived with passion and purpose and then I give the Code. I tell three or four stories. I’ll tell a story about resilience and perseverance, I’ll tell a story about commitment, I’ll tell a story about humility, and I’ll tell a story about connectivity.
My stories are built around my personal experiences in the surf — they are absolutely authentic — they are real and I gotta say they all have an underlying message contained within. I use surfing as a metaphor, and I think surfing is a really useful metaphor because it’s different and it’s kind of unknown. It’s different to football, baseball, basketball, hockey, tennis or traditional sports that are bounded by lines. It’s not better, it’s just what I know, and it is vastly different to most other sports. Surfing is soulful, romantic, spiritual and risky — it’s emotionally resonant and I love telling my stories and giving my perspective. What I don’t do is give a prescription. I just give a perspective which can really be looked at in two ways. My perspective can be looked at as a mirror that people can use to perhaps look at their own lives, and perhaps see their perspective and situation a little bit differently. And then it also can be like a window — a window into the future, into a different vision of themselves and an envisioning of how people see their future. Then, secondly, I talk about the Code. I talk about the origination and application of the Code. I talk about some amazing experiences that I’ve had with organizations schools, universities, athletes and the success they’ve had with the Code. And then I show the method — how simple this method is, and how powerful this method is, and how this method can transform not only one’s own life, but it can transform the life of one’s family. it can transform the trajectory of an organization, school or university — it’s incredibly simple but truly fundamentally powerful and transformational.
Can you share with us the story behind why you chose to take up this particular cause?
I took up this course because my wife and I lost our beautiful 15 1/2-year-old son Matthew to a poor choice. I know from personal experience of the terrible grief associated with the death of a child. Our son Mathew made a rash decision, a terrible mistake that cost him his life at the age of 15. His school uniform included a tie, and after school one day he used it to try “the choking game.” One bad decision made on impulse and my boy was gone. My life and that of my wife’s were destroyed. The pain of losing a child is indescribably dreadful, an unending sadness that stretches out endlessly with no horizon, an agonizing journey. When I thought of our loss and of the other 40,000 parents who are faced with that same painful journey, I knew that I had to do something.
Several years after our loss, I started to tell my story to community groups, corporations, schools and universities. I would speak about my journey from the dark back into the light, about finding hope amidst despair, about staying together as a couple, about the importance of living with the attitude that the sun will rise again. I would talk about how two hours before our son died he read me a beautiful essay that eloquently described the surfing experience, and how some of the words he wrote — the light shines ahead — have become a mantra for me. The statement, powerful and full of hope, helped me realize that my own healing comes from helping others.
To young people I would speak about the awesome responsibility they have to make positive choices, to not react instinctively, to be just a little more contemplative. Nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman talks about the balance and conflict between two types of thinking: thinking fast (intuitive and instinctive) and thinking slow (reasoned and analytical). In young people impulsivity often wins out, so I would stress to young people across the world:
“A day will come when you are faced with a life-or-death decision — it might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but that day will come. You might be by yourself, or you might be with friends, or you might be with people who you think are your friends. Your parents will not be there, and ultimately it will be you and the decision, you and the choice, you and life, you and death.”
I would ask them to try to remember that a surfer once told them about his son’s one bad decision, about the pain he had to endure that broke his life, and about how easy it is for them to bring the same pain to the people they love. I would ask them to please do this one thing, which I had them repeat: Think twice. There was no real call to action, just a call for a reaction to a potentially deadly situation: When there is danger, think twice.
I knew in my heart that while we all have limited control over our circumstances, we have absolute control over our decisions. I knew that purpose powers our decisions. But I had no idea how to inspire a higher purpose. I knew that just telling my story and explaining the risks were not enough. I needed a simple, workable tool that could activate purpose and create a commitment to positive action.
And that tool is The Code Method. I give a perspective on a life that’s been lived with passion and purpose, and then everyone writes their Code together, as a 15-minute exercise.
12 lines, each beginning with “I will…”
Can you share with us a story about a person who was impacted by your cause?
Here’s a story about three people that were impacted by my mission.
This is a letter from a young girl. When I do my programs everyone their Code but often I ask students to write a gratitude letter as well. Just write a letter that is a thank you.
I will better myself every day in ways I may not know yet.
I will be who I want to be.
I will not hide the worst parts of myself but embrace and learn from them.
I will help others who aren’t getting the same opportunities as me.
I will bring awareness to what I think is wrong
I will never alter my opinions to what society wants them to be.
I will hear my own pain.
I will be grateful in every way.
I will love anyone and everyone always.
I will remember I can and am loved.
I will be determined to reach my goals, but not be frustrated or angry when I fall a little short but get back up and do it again.
I personally have a hard time making room for myself and making sure I’m doing alright. When I first started writing these out I thought my goals would be simple, such as get good grades or be successful in life. But I realized when I started writing of them, that I didn’t want them to be like that, rather I wanted them to give more back to me. Your talk helped me look deeper into my own needs and struggles and how I could best help myself right now especially since I haven’t been that stable mentally recently. Thank you for the advice and your story, but also thank you for helping me realize that I wasn’t completely ok, and it’s alright to take care of yourself for a little bit instead of just looking after everyone else. It’s been too long since I’ve been able to love myself, and unknowingly you gave me the push to go look for that love again. So, thank you,
even if this wasn’t exactly what you hoped to achieve through this talk, thank you because since then, I’ve started getting the help I need and I know it won’t be easy, but I will love myself again and I will wake up tomorrow better than I am now and will continue to do so until I have found myself again. So, thank you for the hope you have shared with me.
About two weeks ago I spoke at San Diego State University, to about 500 students. After I spoke a young guy Luke came up to me — same name as my son. He said, “Thank you for the talk. Many years ago, I came up to you at a surfing trade show and I asked for your autograph, and you gave me copy of Surfer’s Code. He said I’ve had it in my pocket for 10 years now and he pulled it out. It was all beaten up and worn down but perfectly legible. He said “This is how I have lived my life. I live my life by the code.” It was wonderful to see the power contained in the 105 words I wrote so long ago.
To give you a third example. Many years ago, I met a young guy who was working in my Mom’s garden. His mother worked for my Mom, and he was working on the weekend to end some extra pocket money. He said, “Our family is very poor and I need money to go to school”. I was a pro surfer making good money and I said, “Sure I’ll help pay your way through school” and I did, and he graduated, and he did really well, and he said to me “I want to go to university”. This was the time of segregation in South Africa, a system called apartheid. I said, “Sure I’ll help pay your way through university.” And in those days there weren’t many black students going to university in segregated South Africa. He did well at university, and he kept doing well at university, and then after a few years my wife and I left, and we moved to the United States.
A few years ago, I went back to South Africa on a big school tour. I was speaking to about 60,000 students. I got a phone call. “Hi, Shaun. It’s Ernest Bongani Nkosi here. Do you remember me?” I said, of course, I remember you. He said “I want to tell you about my life. I have two university degrees; I have two teaching credentials and I am a principal of 1,600 students and you are coming to speak at my school.” I went along and spoke at his school, and it was one of the greatest moments in my whole life, to know that I’d given this man something so small, and every single day he was inspiring and empowering 1600 students. It was such a gift to me and I have come to realize that when you give away something, when you help someone, the primary beneficiary yes is the person that you’re helping, but the real beneficiary is you yourself.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
In a competitive situation — never defend — always Attack Attack Attack
In a competitive situation be less patient — grab the opportunities — be more active. I had a tendency to sit on my surfboard and wait for that perfect wave which cost me a lot of success.
Embrace and create new technologies and designs and keep your mind open to anything that might be coming down the track in terms of technique or design. Just keep your mind open
From a financial perspective, pick your business partners based on values not on perceived value
Ask for help — don’t be shy — be humble and ask and people will help.
You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My mission is simple: Write and share your Code to activate purpose in life and create a positive wave around the world. The code is open source code so it is free, and this process just takes 15 minutes to write and share.
What does this process do?
The Code is like a Swiss army knife to change your mindset and I would like every young person in the world to do this process
Write your code find your purpose, to find your power, to find your path.
The Code creates accountability
The Code turbochargers motivation
The Code creates hope
The Code creates commitment
The Code creates unity
The Code creates focus
The Code helps people find the best version of themselves
The Code can help you find your purpose find your power and found your path
The Code shows us that while we’re different our values are the same and the two most important things in our lives are our two commitments: I will be better, and I will help others be better
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you explain how that was relevant in your life?
My favorite life listen quote comes from the Surfer’s Code that I wrote so many years ago. It is one line of commitment, one line of hope: I will always paddle back out
Yes, the line speaks to perseverance and resilience — if you have a bad wipeout get back up on your board and paddle back out. But it also refers to the knowledge and the hope that only by paddling back out can you get that next ride. This line is especially relevant to me in the context of my wife and I losing our beautiful 15 1/2-year-old son to a dangerous game that he heard about at school called the choking game. These words for me are about hope and optimism and the knowledge that only about paddling back out again would I be able to have a productive and fulfilled life.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Politics, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I’d love to have breakfast or lunch with Bill Gates. Yes, he’s revolutionized technology in this country but I love what he’s done in terms of big, broad scale philanthropic work. One of the fundamental problems in our society is poor personal choices — a million Americans die every year — all preventable deaths — related to bad choices about smoking, drinking, drugging, poor diet and suicide. I think my simple system, my Code Method, can help millions and millions of young people and people generally find their purpose, find their power, and find their path to create a better life. I also think it’s a way for people to really connect and engage with each other too and together create a positive wave of purpose that flows around the world. I’d love to discuss this with Bill Gates, and I’d love to create an app that every young person can use right now to write their own Code and to engage with the positive words of others so we can all ride this wave of purpose together, towards a better world.
Thank you so much for these amazing insights. This was so inspiring.
Sports Stars Making a Social Impact: Why And How Shaun Tomson Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.