Scott Simon Of Scare Your Soul On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and Professionally
An Interview With Maria Angelova
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is a great way to push past your comfort zone. Whether it’s a friend, mentor, or colleague, having someone who believes in you and your abilities can give you the confidence you need to take on new challenges.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Scott Simon.
Scott Simon is a happiness entrepreneur and author of Scare Your Soul. He founded the Scare Your Soul organization in 2015, organically growing it from one Facebook post to a global movement with sixty volunteer ambassadors worldwide. He has presented to groups around the world, appeared widely on TV and podcasts, given a TEDx Talk, and brought his passion for courage to retreats, a life coaching practice, and mindfulness meditations in person and online.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Absolutely!
OK … picture a ten-year old boy outfitted in brown cords, a starched white shirt, and a blue cardigan sweater that his mom dressed him in.
He’s sitting in the back of the classroom — tucked all the way in the far left corner — trying to be as invisible as humanly possible. He was already the shortest in his grade by a long shot, shy and timid. And just that morning he had been accosted by two bullies who had nearly dislocated his right arm, swinging him in circles until he flew off into the bushes.
That boy was me.
I was always pretty shy and sensitive, but bullying is a sneaky, insidious thing. It makes a kid feel so small and unworthy. We try to pretend like everything is okay, but it’s not. We suffer in silence, carrying all that pain and hurt with us.
And that’s how I lived for so many years.
Until one summer day, up in the sky on the most massive airplane I had ever seen, I had an epiphany that would change everything.
I was on my way overseas to teach English to elderly Holocaust survivors, and on the plane I had a panic attack.
Feeling scared and overwhelmed, I did something that changed my life forever. I pulled out a notebook and wrote down a phrase that I had read once before, but never really understood until that moment. “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
I sat there for a long time, staring at those words, letting their meaning sink in. And then, in that moment, something shifted inside me.
I realized that staying safe and playing it safe wasn’t living at all. I had been stuck in a cycle of fear and self-doubt, and it was holding me back from experiencing all the beauty and wonder of life. So, I made a commitment to myself. For the next year, I would intentionally seek out the things that scared me and face them head on.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy. It would mean pushing past my comfort zone and facing my fears. But I also knew that it would be worth it. That it would be the only way for me to truly start living my life. And that’s exactly what I did. Day after day, I took small steps towards a more courageous and fulfilling life.
And I can tell you from experience, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
You’ve probably seen the classic 80’s movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it, and there’s one quote that has always stuck with me:
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
How many times have we looked at a photo on our phone or watched our kids or grandkids grow up, and thought to ourselves, “Where did the time go?”
There’s a powerful message in Ferris’ words: if we want to live life to the fullest, we have to be fully present. We have to pay attention.
I am so passionate about helping people push beyond their comfort zones. That takes action. But to really live our best lives we have to remember to slow down and pay attention. To savor our achievements and find the joy in the small moments of life.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
So many!
But if I had to choose one, it would be the one that appeared in my life during the days when I was teaching those incredible Holocaust survivors.
One day, as I was exploring the small library on the second floor of the senior center I was teaching in, I stumbled upon a well-worn copy of Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
After class each day, I would sit on a bench surrounded by a grove of trees outside the senior center and read the book. Frankl’s story completely captivated me. In 1942, he was a successful doctor and psychologist who had just married the love of his life.
Nine months later, he and his entire family were taken to the Theresienstadt concentration camp. There, Frankl lost his father to starvation. His mother and brother were murdered in the Auschwitz gas chambers. Frankl’s beloved wife died in the Bergen-Belsen camp.
But despite all the horror and tragedy, Frankl discovered something truly remarkable. He found a space of peace and courage within his own mind. He made a decision. Famously, he said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
That is so powerful! And liberating!
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
Technically, our comfort zone is a psychological state in which we feel at ease because we’re not being tested.
It requires us to stretch ourselves beyond the familiar, to embrace the unknown, and to confront our deepest fears. But it is through these moments of bravery and vulnerability that we discover the boundless depths of our own courage, resilience, and strength.
And now is more important than ever.
In the wake of a pandemic, so many of us have clung to the familiar, hunkering down in our comfort zones in a desperate bid for safety and stability.
We avoid the things that scare us, only to find that our fears become stronger, holding us back from realizing our full potential.
We forget our deepest desires, and stop pursuing the things that once set our hearts on fire. We stop growing, and in doing so, we stifle the flow of love, joy, connection, adventure, creation, and innovation that could enrich our lives.
All because we’re too afraid to step out of that comfort zone.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
In life, sometimes it takes a little push to get us soaring.
Like the mother bird who nudges her chick from the safety of the nest, we too must face our fears and take that leap of faith. It may be scary at first, but in letting go and trusting ourselves, we learn that we have the ability to soar higher than we ever thought possible.
When we stay cocooned in our comfort zones, we stop exploring, trying new things, and taking risks. We close ourselves off from all the beauty and wonder that the world has to offer. But, when we venture into uncharted territories, we:
- Challenge ourselves.
- Build resilience.
- Go on memorable adventures.
- Connect deeply and authentically with others.
- Discover hidden strength within us.
- Enhance our feelings of gratitude and awe.
- Learn to forgive and take our power back from those who have wronged us.
Pretty powerful stuff.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
Honestly, I believe growth happens when we stretch.
When we step into the unknown, the scary, the untested. And that is often in times of crisis: the loss of a job or loved one, an illness, financial reversals. But those moments are the moments which teach us. They test our mettle, making us who we are.
And I have proof:
Draw a line down a single piece of paper. On one side, write 10 times in your life when you experienced something incredibly pleasurable. Vacations, beaches, movies, a fine hotel.
Now, on the other side, write 10 times in your life when you were sincerely tested. When things felt painful. When you didn’t succeed.
Finally, ask yourself the question: which side of the paper has made you who you are today? Which side has strengthened and clarified your values, given you confidence, and taught you the most important lessons?
Growth occurs outside the bubble-wrap of our comfort zones.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
Absolutely! First, just a bit of a backstory …
In my childhood, I had a passion for singing. Although my voice being far from perfect, I was happy to sing out loud and it felt like pure happiness.
But then, like so many things in life, someone came along and changed that for me. I remember being in fourth grade, rehearsing for a big choir concert. I had been given a solo line, but no matter how hard I tried, my voice couldn’t seem to reach the right pitch.
As I became more and more embarrassed, our substitute choir teacher grew increasingly frustrated. He ended up publicly shaming me in front of the entire class, telling me to just mouth the words instead.
And I didn’t sing again for 35 years.
Until, one day, when I chose to confront that fear by singing in front of a group of strangers. Although I was terrible (!), after it was over, I felt a rush of pride, excitement, and confidence course through me.
It had been 35 years since I sang alone in public, but after just ten minutes, I was already eager to do it again.
That is when I realized: if we are open to stepping into discomfort, absolutely amazing things can happen.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
Absolutely! The book is full of countless strategies, but here are five key ones:
First, learn to embrace the unknown.
One of the greatest ways to push past your comfort zone is to seek out new and unknown experiences. This could mean taking a solo trip to a foreign country, enrolling in a class you have never taken before, or volunteering for a new project at work. The key is to allow yourself to be open to new opportunities, even if they make you a little nervous.
Then, practice self-compassion.
When we are faced with a new challenge or opportunity, it is easy to become overwhelmed with self-doubt and insecurity. This is where self-compassion comes in. Remind yourself that you are not alone in your fears and that everyone experiences moments of uncertainty. Instead of being hard on yourself, extend yourself the same kindness and understanding you would give to a friend.
Next, surround yourself with your “choir.”
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is a great way to push past your comfort zone. Whether it’s a friend, mentor, or colleague, having someone who believes in you and your abilities can give you the confidence you need to take on new challenges.
Take time to reframe your perspective.
Reframing your mindset can help you overcome your fears and push past your comfort zone. Instead of thinking of a new opportunity as a daunting task, try to view it as an exciting adventure. Focus on the potential benefits and outcomes, rather than the potential challenges and obstacles.
And finally, practice embracing failure.
Embracing failure is one of the best ways to push past your comfort zone. When we fail, it can be tempting to retreat back into our comfort zones, but the reality is that failure is a natural and inevitable part of growth. Instead of fearing failure, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember that every failure is just a stepping stone on the path to success.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Well, it’s no secret that pushing beyond our comfort zones can be a challenge. Here are a few of the many barriers that keep us from stepping outside of our comfort zones:
- Fear of failure: So often, we allow the fear of not succeeding to hold us back from trying new things.
- Fear of the unknown: The prospect of venturing into uncharted territories can be daunting, but it is also where we have the opportunity to grow and learn the most.
- Perfectionism: Our quest for perfection can sometimes prevent us from taking risks and making mistakes, which are integral to growth and learning.
- Social pressure: Society’s expectations and peer pressure can also play a role in holding us back from breaking out of our comfort zones.
- Habits and routines: The comfort and security of our daily routines can be a powerful force, making change and trying new things difficult.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
Yes! There IS inherent value in doing something every day!
Let me explain.
It’s like tending to a garden, the more you nurture it, the more it will flourish. And let me tell you, courage is like a muscle that needs to be exercised regularly to grow stronger. It takes commitment, drive, and making it a habit.
But here’s the beauty of it all: we don’t have to go skydiving or leave our jobs and move to a foreign country to practice courage. We can start small, like speaking up in a meeting, taking a class, buying a coffee for a stranger, changing our daily route, going for a hike in the wilderness and allowing ourselves to feel the transcendent power of nature, seeking help, or even just taking care of ourselves when we’re not used to it.
My advice for getting started is simple: place a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that reads, “Do one thing today that scares you.” Then, pay attention to the opportunities that arise during your day to either shrink back or push forward.
And always choose to push forward.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Honestly, I would be doing EXACTLY what I am doing right now with the Scare Your Soul movement.
When we each take control of our lives and lead with bravery, the possibilities are truly endless. Great ideas take flight, truth and justice are championed, new businesses are born, and healthy relationships flourish. Our children are able to look up to role models who embody integrity and bravery. This is the power of living life on our own terms, unafraid and unapologetic.
So let’s take that leap of faith, embrace our courage, and see where it takes us. The world needs more individuals who are unafraid to live their lives fully and authentically.
As for me, I get to support people as they embark on their own personal journeys of bravery. From quitting unfulfilling jobs, to starting their own businesses, to healing from past traumas, to freeing themselves from anger and bitterness, I am in awe of the courage and resilience of the human spirit.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I’d like 100 cracks at answering this!
One person I would love to have lunch with is Jose Andres, the incredible humanitarian and Spanish chef.
One of my most memorable meals EVER was at his Minibar restaurant in Washington DC, and I am — in part — picking Jose because I know that he would cook us both an incredible meal!
More than that, however, he someone who has created movements based solely on helping others. His World Central Kitchen provides meals across the world following natural disasters. I would want to pick his brain on how he has channeled his passion for food toward solving complex worldwide issues.
How can our readers follow you online?
My weekly blog posts on courage can be found at www.scareyoursoul.substack.com and all of our free materials are on our www.scareyoursoul.com website.
They can also follow me on Instagram — www.instagram.com/scareyoursoul — or e-mail directly at scott@scareyoursoul.com
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Scott Simon Of Scare Your Soul On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.