Raising Resilient Kids: Angela Terry Of Bedford Stuyvesant On Strategies for Nurturing Emotional Strength in Children
An Interview with Dr. Kate Lund
Being Warm, Nurturing, and Loving. When a child comes home upset after a difficult day at school, a warm parent listens attentively and validates their feelings. The parent fosters emotional security by offering comfort, such as hugs or encouraging words, helping the child build resilience.
In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Angela Terry.
With over 20 years of experience in social work, education, and entrepreneurship, Angela Terry is the Executive Director of Bedford Stuyvesant Early Childhood Development Center (BSECDC), a federally funded Head Start and city Birth to Five program that serves families and children in the Bedford Stuyvesant community. She is committed to providing high-quality, comprehensive, and holistic services that foster the development and well-being of children and families in underserved areas.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
As a single parent, I raised my daughter with the support of my family. I was in my twenties when I had her. Although my parents were excellent role models, they were my only reference and I wanted to learn more about parenting. That curiosity led me to pursue a career in social work. I began my career in high school and eventually went on to work in mental health clinics providing individual counseling to teenagers. During this time, I noticed a significant need for more social-emotional support for children. Transitioning into early childhood education allowed me to understand how key behaviors developed during early childhood that manifested in adolescent children.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
Being a single parent inspired me to pursue a career in social work and education. Being the sole parent of my daughter can be daunting, but studying social work and child development has helped me understand children’s behaviors and the factors that influence their growth. I wanted to ensure that she grew up to be the successful woman she is today, and once I started in childhood development, I have enjoyed the work so much I continue to go on that path.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?
First and foremost, I am a parent who has raised a resilient kid.. My daughter, now 33, is a successful adult and a principal at a junior high school. I take pride in working with her and seeing her grow. Now, I apply everything I’ve learned as a parent, coupled with my training and education, to the population I work with: families. As a leader in early childhood education, I see the impact we can have in shaping each child’s development and the specific types of support they require. A proactive approach to providing children with much-needed support leads to continued success for our children, empowering them to succeed as they advance to higher grade levels. I want them to understand certain principles and ensure they are equipped with the core values of being kind and respectful, honoring others, and being trustworthy.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
One of my favorites is, “This too shall pass.” I became a parent while completing my undergraduate and graduate degrees. It felt like a long and challenging journey. As a hard-working parent balancing school and responsibilities, I often found myself in moments where I needed to remind myself that “this too shall pass.” I would not be this hard forever. As long as I persevered, this, too shall pass. Perseverance is key in these situations because it allows you to envision what lies ahead and recognize that your current circumstances will change. I vividly remember seeing a future where my hard work would lead to a different and better reality. If you don’t feel this belief, it’s challenging to make it happen. This mindset has helped me navigate college and the many challenges I still face today.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?
As parents, we understand that the world is imperfect, and while we may want our children to excel [in a specific area], that is not always possible. Reflecting on these situations is crucial in parenting. It is essential to analyze what happened, understand who your child is, and actively listen to their feelings at that moment. Disappointment and failure are a part of life, and children need to see that it’s okay for these things to occur so they can learn to accept them and move on. I recommend identifying what children excel at and recognizing their strengths, shifting the focus to their skills. When children look back on their failures, it should be seen as just one moment in time. While children may be strong in certain areas, setbacks can happen, and it’s perfectly normal. It’s essential to ensure that failures aren’t recurring and to have open conversations about them.
What role does parental modeling of resilience play in the development of emotional strength in children? Can you share an example of a resilient parenting moment that you experienced directly or that you have come across in the course of your work?
Parental modeling of resilience is crucial in children’s emotional strength development. Children learn by observing their parents, so they need to see how we handle our emotions. For instance, it’s okay for children to witness their parents cry or express anger. The key is demonstrating how we can rebound from those vulnerable moments. As parents, we should show our children that we have feelings and explain how we cope with them. If we fail to express our emotions, children may act out inappropriately, and we want to help prevent that behavior.
What approaches do you recommend to foster a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenge as opportunities to learn?
I believe in the importance of activities. Having children participate in after-school activities is a vital part of their socialization. Sometimes, when children enter a new environment, they may be reluctant to join in. It’s essential to encourage your child to start and complete these activities, whether they last six weeks or six months. This practice fosters a growth mindset because it demonstrates that they can begin and finish something. It’s about your child stepping out of their comfort zone and recognizing that they are more capable than they initially believed.
How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?
It’s important to ensure that your child feels safe. They share their feelings and concerns with you for a reason, so it’s vital to continue encouraging them as long as they are safe and sound. Let them know that you will face challenges together and that you will always support them. Even when social situations become difficult, reassure them that you have their best interests in mind and are there for them.
What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?
Use breathing techniques. Sometimes, we must realize how important it is to focus on breathing in stressful moments. Taking time for yourself and practicing mindful breathing is a simple self-care method that can be incorporated into your daily routine. Additionally, you can explore free programs or community activities, such as yoga classes or support groups, to give yourself a necessary break.
Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”?
1. Being Warm, Nurturing, and Loving
When a child comes home upset after a difficult day at school, a warm parent listens attentively and validates their feelings. The parent fosters emotional security by offering comfort, such as hugs or encouraging words, helping the child build resilience.
2. Providing Firm Rules and Explaining Their Reasons
If a parent sets a rule that homework must be completed before screen time and the child questions this, the parent explains that homework supports learning and success. This clarity helps children understand responsibility and internalize rules.
3. Having Appropriate Expectations
A parent can focus on improvement rather than perfection for a child who struggles with math. Celebrating small achievements helps the child view challenges as opportunities for growth instead of obstacles.
4. Praising Efforts and Accomplishments
After a child participates in a science fair, a parent praises the effort put into the project rather than just the outcome. This recognition helps the child develop a growth mindset and encourages confidence in tackling future challenges.
5. Building Community
A family engages with their community through volunteering and participating in local events. This involvement teaches children the value of collaboration, fosters a sense of belonging, and encourages empathy and understanding of different perspectives.
How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?
Children need to express their feelings as effectively as possible. At Bedford Stuyvesant Early Childhood Development Center, we practice emotionally responsive techniques. Through our partnership with Bank Street College of Education, each child in the classroom receives a teddy bear. This allows them to communicate and express themselves through their teddy bears. We are using this approach as part of our emotional practice to help children develop emotional regulation. As the children get older, we notice that they begin to express their feelings through writing and the arts, providing them with ongoing outlets for self-expression.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?
For children and parents, I suggest using apps like Calm and Headspace. These apps are well-known for their guided meditations, which can help users unwind after a long day and reflect on their emotions. A more interactive approach may be beneficial for kids. Mindful Powers offers holistic, skill-based learning techniques and integrates emotional intelligence into everyday learning.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
For me, it would be my grandparents who have passed on. Specifically, I would love to sit down with my grandmother on my mom’s side and my grandparents on my father’s side. I want to hear their stories about growing up and what life was like during their time. Additionally, I am eager to learn more about my family history and uncover details I may not know. Recently, I returned to the Cayman Islands with my father for a family reunion, and I discovered a lot about my father’s side of the family. Learning about their origins and background was fascinating, which sparked my interest in further exploring our family history.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Stay updated on our work by following us on Instagram (@bsecdc_hs) and visiting our website (www.bsecdc.org).
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.
Raising Resilient Kids: Angela Terry Of Bedford Stuyvesant On Strategies for Nurturing Emotional… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.