An Interview With Drew Gerber
Tip 1 for everyday clothes — put your everyday clothes at the front of your wardrobe, so they are easy to reach every morning. This will save you 15–20 minutes each morning.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Rabena Moore.
Her life is in good order and uncomplicated, and she spends just 1 hour a week on cleaning. She helps people declutter their whole life and not just their wardrobes. She is making it her mission to show people how bring back their happiness, take back their time and find greater purpose in their lives.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
Truly understanding ourselves and the world around us is one of our greatest challenges in life. Part of my own journey comes from looking at my life and seeing where I could make it better.
As a child, I would often reorganise things and see what the outcome was. I was once caught sitting on the kitchen floor with my head in the pan cupboard. I had already pulled out all the pans and they were piled up on the floor beside me. As every child knows, being discovered making a mess anywhere in the house is not always a good thing. As we all know parents can have an interesting reaction to finding mess and it’s not always positive. But on this occasion, it was not scary to me at all. I saw that the outcome was more beneficial and I explained how I was reorganising the pans by size and use. Even at that age, it made perfect sense to me so I was not afraid. Finding a pan did become a whole lot easier for everyone and it took less time to put one back too.
Later on in life, I realised that the old pan cupboard had taught me one of my greatest life lessons. It taught me that life is not just about creating order or decluttering. The true lesson is far greater than that. The true lesson is to save time. Time is one of our most precious commodities, yet we are often prone to waste it on things that have a much lesser benefit or meaning to us in our lives. Clutter makes us unhappy, and wasting time on clutter makes us unhappy. So the great question is how do we have less clutter and save more time?
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I love working with people and helping them find their happiness again. Everyone’s happiness is a very personal thing and so is the journey back to it. When I work with someone for the first time it can be upsetting to see how unhappy or lost they are in their life, so it’s important to hold their hand at the start and help them work through it. Clutter can come in many forms, it’s not just wardrobe clutter. It can also be small, medium, or large but it is all usually clutter of one form or another and unhappiness can stem from that.
I recently worked with a lady who described her life as ‘a bit hectic’. She had no time to herself and felt she was extremely busy all the time with far too many things to do. In our first conversation, she mentioned how she felt like this almost all the time and on most days. On top of that, she desperately wanted to declutter her wardrobe but was unable to find the time. When we talked about things in more detail, it was clear to see that this was causing a certain amount of stress and unhappiness and it turned out that this had been going on in her life for quite a while. The interesting thing was that she didn’t realise just how unhappy the situation was making her until we began to talk through it.
Sometimes day to day life can get really busy and in those instances, we just don’t have time to think about anything else. My speed sessions, help people to see the clutter in their lives and how it is stealing their time and making them unhappy. Only then can we start to declutter and put the happiness back into our lives. A speed session was the only thing that was going to help this lady.
A few days later I received a lovely email from that lady. She had decided to spend her Saturday by herself and she was having a lovely relaxing day. We discussed how she could better manage her time and move forward in her life and she is much happier for doing that now. But what’s important is the relief that came with finally being able to see a way forward. Helping people like this is what it is all about. It’s important to work with people and help them to understand what is cluttering up their lives and really making them unhappy.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am currently writing a book. My greatest hope is that it will guide people and help them to live more genuinely for themselves. I am also continuing my speed sessions this year to help people declutter, take back their time and put the happy back in their lives.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
Decluttering is not just about sorting out your wardrobe. It is so much more than that. Let me explain. The first time I decluttered my wardrobe something extremely unexpected started to happen. Things began to change in other connected parts of my life. For example, the very next morning it took me 5 seconds to pick out my clothes and now it happens each morning. This made me happy. Why? Because I was saving time each morning. But that is not all. My wardrobe generally stays in good order now too. So I am now saving time finding what I need and I am no longer having to re-tidy my wardrobe all the time. It didn’t stop there. I also understand what I need and don’t need in my wardrobe now. That saves me money and saving money always makes me happy.
So decluttering is not just about decluttering. It’s more than that: it’s what comes after that counts the most. The bonus features that you didn’t know about. The time saving and things being easier to manage and there is also a cost saving aspect too. But it is not easy. You have to stay focused and you have to be determined to keep it up if you want to succeed and permanently make the change.
Back in March 2023, I wrote an article on decluttering and happiness, because I knew I had to share what was happening to my life. How it was changing and how it was becoming a better and easier life that I had always dreamed of. After I published that article I kept going and things got even better. These days I only spend 1 hour a week on cleaning and that makes me truly happy. I have more time at the weekend which has made me extremely happy. Decluttering opened my eyes and made me realise that it’s only the start because it’s what comes after that really starts to light the way to a better life. This is why I am helping as many people as I can, to help put the life back into their own lives.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
This is such a great subject to talk about. We all want to be genuinely happy in life, right? But how do we get our happiness and how do we know what is truly going to make us happy in life? And what if we get it wrong? Being genuinely happy is going to be dependent on looking at where we get our happiness from. If you get your happiness from buying things then you may find that you have to keep buying more things to keep that happiness going. This type of happiness is going to cost you in the short term and it may continue to cost you in the long term too. I call this ‘ROH’. It stands for repeat object happiness. Which is a continued happiness derived from objects or things. But there is one problem with building this kind of happiness. This type of happiness can only last as long as the objects keep making you happy. So, as soon as you no longer love your objects, they stop making you happy. This is one of the main ways that clutter can start to build up in your life. It’s the accumulation of things that no longer make us happy or that we grew tired of, but we feel we need to keep them because we spent our good money on them.
At this stage, we can fall into what is referred to as ‘PG’ which stands for purchasing guilt. It usually comes from when you spend more than you should have done on something and you are tired of it much too quickly. You are more likely to keep it because you know it was an expensive purchase. and this is one of the main causes of clutter in our homes. The guilt drives you to keep it forever. It’s no wonder that we all have houses full of stuff that we don’t use and are no longer making us happy. It’s also one of the main causes of why have less money than we would like.
They should teach you this in schools but they don’t. If you are genuinely happy in yourself then you may not need to spend so much of your money buying so many things to keep topping up your happiness levels all the time. Which why I try to help people get it right and find their genuine happiness in life and themselves. I have nice things and I appreciate them, but I don’t need so many and I don’t rely on them to make me happy all the time.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
This a great question and it involves looking at the big three areas where excessiveness can have the most damage and the impact is always considered to be at its highest level. The three areas are; 1 — the social impact, 2 — the psychological impact, and 3 — the environmental impact, or we can call them SPE for short.
We can look at the Psychological impact first because we already know what that impact is. We know that excessiveness is not making us happy and it’s been well established that that is the case. The excessive lifestyle is costing us too much money and the psychology of it is that it is not making many individuals happy. The constant investment required is probably mentally draining and there appears to be no end to it. So why do we do it? It’s already hurting your general demeanour now.
Let’s take a look at the social impact of trying to live a life of excess next, and the impact on the community around us. Communities are the foundation of many places and are made up of a number of different types of people. So a more important question to consider asking yourself is, are we building the right kind of communities right now? What you value in your life is going to reflect what you bring to your community. So, if we are all unhappy in ourselves, is it possible that we are all unhappy in our communities too? Is it possible that we are building the wrong kind of communities around us or even unhappy communities too?
A great way to change this is to ask yourself how do you see yourself in your community. This is a very important question for two reasons. It is going to show you what you currently still value and it is going to show if it is status and excess above your community and your well-being. If you want to care about your community and your well-being in that community then it might be better to bring something useful and positive to it. Something that people need and is more genuine. So how do we ensure that we do that? Well, if we are not happy in ourselves or our happiness is measured derived from excess then how can we bring genuine happiness to any community? How can we enjoy being around other people and how can other people enjoy being around us, if we are not enjoying being yourself?
The last high-impact area is the environment. Recycling has come a long way, but items do still end up in landfills as we continue to offload our unwanted and unloved things and excessive waste. We all know that excess waste harms the wider environment and we have known for some time, so we still need to push the issue more and strive to harm the environment less. Excessive lifestyles produce excessive waste and a non-caring mentality.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
I often get asked about the key to finding true happiness in life. It’s all about understanding the difference between true happiness and false happiness and how long they can last. Happiness from a purchase doesn’t always last that long. Have you ever seen something that you thought would make you so happy that you just had to have it? Maybe it was a little more than you usually spend or maybe it was relatively inexpensive, but you just had to have it. And you truly believed that having it was going to make you so happy and make your life so much better. We have all been there, right? So, let me now ask some important questions. Did it make you happy? Did that happiness last forever? Are you still enjoying that happiness now? Or did it fade? This is what we call false happiness. Happiness from things and buying things doesn’t last that long, you will need to keep buying more things to keep you topped up on all your bought happiness.
If you want longer-lasting happiness this is probably not the best way to get it. Your genuine and longer-lasting happiness is more likely to come from within and from knowing yourself better and being comfortable with who you are. It costs less but is much more valuable and it can last much longer too. So, when you know yourself better and you are 100% comfortable being who you are, you buy better. You won’t need to buy so much stuff to affirm who you are. You will naturally simplify your life and know what you need and what you don’t. Then when you do want to go and spend your money on something, you will be spending it much more wisely and less emotionally. Knowing yourself better will help you make improved choices and you won’t fall out of love with your purchases quite so quickly. Everything you buy from that point on is more likely to be a more informed purchase and will add to your life for much longer too. This is how you start to simplify your life.
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
People define and seek abundance in many ways but personal happiness has always been a key component of that. One of the most significant changes I have made in my life was realising that I was seeking excess in many areas of my life and it was exhausting trying to manage it all. But once I realised that I could live without so many things and by having less I could have greater abundance in other ways.
One of the first major changes I made was to stop buying more. By doing that I was able to save more money and by saving more money I was able to do other things like travel more. I exchanged my excessive buying habits for greater happiness in seeing more of the world. Not only that but those travel experiences went on to transform my life even further. They gave me the best travel memories I could ask for and that will last me a lifetime. This was what it gave me instead and it gave me greater happiness. So, now I try to help people find their own true happiness. I ask people to look at what genuine happiness means to them. I like to get people to consider the following three things when they try to picture what their genuine happiness looks like. 1 — It has to be worth reaching for. 2 — It has to live up to their expectations, once they have it. 3 — It has to make them genuinely happy and in the long term. If you can be honest about these three things it can help you understand that what you thought would bring you happiness and what made you happy can be very different. Because in a world full of excess we can often get that wrong. When I work with people it’s important to understand where they are right now and how I can help them change their happiness perception and guide them to being much happier in themselves.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
It’s important to understand what you value in your life and what makes you happy right now. But it’s also important to understand how that can change and how we can want different things later on. Travel is of great value to me because it broadens my mind. I get to meet different people, see different places, and build a greater understanding of the world, but it wasn’t always like this. Just before my early teens, I moved to a town that had very little to offer a young person in terms of growth, development and a greater understanding of the world. Yet in our early ages, we are more heavily influenced by what is around us. We grow from what we see and what we are exposed to as children and this is primarily guided by our parents. We can often mimic bad habits before we are even aware that they are bad. But as a child moves into becoming a teenager the circle of exposure and influence is widened and there is also a greater influence from peers at this stage.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
I think we have a much greater responsibility to know how to guide the next generations through our excessive mistakes if we can be open to admitting them first. Any stage of life is a learning curve because we have never been at that stage before and we don’t always fully know what it entails.
You may value different things in ten years’ time so be prepared for that and be prepared to be adaptable to it. We sometimes forget that life is a journey and we are meant to change along the way and grow as we go. I like to spend wisely now and get more meaningful value out of my life, so I buy less and travel more, but it wasn’t always like this and it’s a lesson I had to learn by myself.
Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
I have always had an interest in understanding how we can live better and with less and how we can save more time. By simplifying and decluttering your life you can free yourself up for better things.
Here are my top 5 quick tips for simplifying and decluttering your life, so you can take back your life and your time. They are taken from my website and are designed to help you save time at home.
Tip 1 for everyday clothes — put your everyday clothes at the front of your wardrobe, so they are easy to reach every morning. This will save you 15–20 minutes each morning.
It will also help you understand what you need and wear most often and which items are no longer of use.
Tip 2 for seasonal clothes — put all your summer clothes away in winter and vice versa. This will give you less clutter in your wardrobe and everything you need for the current season will be easier to find.
When it’s time to get your summer clothes out again, you can try everything on and keep only what fits and what you know you will wear. This way you declutter your wardrobe twice a year without any extra effort.
Tip 3 for laundry — match the size of your laundry bag to the size of your machine load. When the bag is full put the washing on immediately. There will be no more piles of laundry waiting for you at the weekend. This can save you between two and three hours per weekend.
Tip 4 how to declutter your jackets — save money and space by owning these 3 jackets: 1 — A good winter jacket, 2 — A nice autumn/spring jacket, 3 — A special occasions jacket. This will save you money and space — all year round.
Tip 5 how to declutter your scarves — Scarves are messy and can create an enormous amount of clutter. I went from 18 scarves to just 4 by identifying the key occasions on which I most need a scarf and keeping just one good scarf for each of them.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I have a saying ‘buy no more than you need and no less than you want’. I used to have it stuck on my fridge door and I would see it every day. The two sides balance each other out and help keep me grounded. I also try to help people understand their own lives better and try to give them the power to make the changes they want to see in their lives the most. It’s the power to change our own lives that I think would really matter to us the most and would make the biggest difference.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
To help people make better choices for their wardrobe I have written several articles on how to buy key items that will last longer and support them better. They can all be found at https://neverbeenworn.co.uk/blog. You can also sign up and you will get my free newsflashes on staple items for each season.
If you are thinking about simplifying and decluttering your wardrobe, you can take my wardrobe challenge at neverbeenworn.co.uk. It’s designed to free you of all your wardrobe clutter for good. I did this a few years ago and now it takes me 5 seconds to pick my clothes out in the morning so I know it works. Its aim is to help you simplify your wardrobe and really make it work for you, not the other way around.
I also have a speed declutter happening this year — these are 1 to 1 sessions with myself, to help get people started. They are free, but there are a limited number. You can book one from my bio page at neverbeenworn.co.uk.
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity
Rabena Moore On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.