An Interview With Jake Frankel
Make it practical. As I mentioned, I’ve read tons of books on the value of humor at work and for wellbeing, but I’ve found very little information out there about how people can develop their sense of humor or specific tools showing how to use humor effectively.
As a part of my series about “How to write a book that sparks a movement” I had the pleasure of interviewing Paul Osincup, Speaker, Corporate Trainer, and Author of The Humor Habit.
Paul Osincup is a Speaker, Corporate Trainer, and Humor Strategist who helps organizations create happier, healthier, and more connected places to work. He is also the author of the forthcoming book The Humor Habit (April). A “Jack of all Jokes” since grade school, Paul went on to build a career in comedy (even winning a stand-up comedy contest) and became interested in the use of humor to influence, lead, decrease stress, and boost resilience. Now, he’s on a global mission for workplace happiness that has provided him the opportunity to work with hundreds of organizations including Google, Discover, US Air Force, US Army, Cisco, Nasdaq, and more. Paul is also a content creator for Happify, an app that provides evidence-based solutions for emotional health and well-being for over 17 million users. His first TEDx Talk: “Leading with Laughter, the Power of Humor in Leadership” is used in corporate and collegiate leadership courses around the world and his next is soon to be released. He is a certified Stress Master Educator and the Past President of the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor, an international organization dedicated to the study and application of humor to enhance health and human performance. Paul’s work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Forbes, and on his mom’s refrigerator.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you share the “backstory” of how you grew up?
I grew up in Colorado primarily with my mom and my two older sisters. Always the shortest kid in my class, I turned to humor at a young age to help me navigate the world, get myself out of a jam with bigger kids, and occasionally charm my teachers.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story?
As a kid my mom was often working, and I didn’t have the self-discipline to read on my own. I grew up in front of the TV and found reading boring for the longest time. Even through most of college, I read because I had to but didn’t get much enjoyment out of it. The book that changed that for me was “Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris. It was different than other books I was “forced” to read… because it was hilarious!
My number one form of self-expression has always been humor, and David Sedaris’ writing style tapped into that and helped me realize that reading (and writing) doesn’t have to be painful — it can be ridiculous, absurd, and even fun!
What was the moment or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
The impetus for writing this book came from countless moments throughout my life where I noticed the positive impact of humor on relationships, my own happiness, or the well-being of others. While I can’t share all these moments in this article, I can tell you about the first time I remember noticing the influence and effect of humor. It was in third grade. I was distracting other kids by talking and was promptly yelled at by Mrs. Temple, who glared at me and yelled “Paul, you have diarrhea of the mouth!” Half the class laughed, and the other half went “Ooooohhhh!” because it was a pretty sick burn. Now I was embarrassed, and without thinking, I put my open palm to my bottom lip, looked at Mrs. Temple and said “Aw, sick it’s running down my chin!” That unsophisticated, yet age-appropriate retort earned me a raucous laugh from my classmates… and a trip to the principal’s office. The principal asked me what happened, so I told her, “I said something inappropriate in Mrs. Temple’s class.” The principal replied, “Tell us what you said.” “Well, she said I had diarrhea of the mouth, so I said, ‘Oh sick it’s running down my chin’.” The principal and the other staff members in the office laughed. Then they quickly tried to straighten their faces as little smirks were peeking out of the corners of their mouths. They couldn’t be that mad at me… because it was funny! Of course, she collected herself and told me it was inappropriate with a fake stern look on her face, but I knew deep down she was thinking “Not bad, kid.” I knew I had discovered something, and I felt like a Jedi. Not only did the humor soften the blow in the principal’s office, but it got me out of the stressful and slightly traumatic situation of being embarrassed by my teacher in front of the whole class.
Fortunately, over time I learned there are more sophisticated forms of humor than diarrhea jokes. However, what I learned about humor instinctually at a young age, and have now relearned formally as an adult, is that our sense humor is an incredibly powerful feature in the human psyche that can be used intentionally to cope with distress, build relationships, and enhance well-being.
What impact did you hope to make when you wrote this book?
There’s plenty of information out there about how good humor is for us, and we’ve all heard advice that we should just “not take things so seriously” or learn to “laugh things off.” The problem is, nobody ever tells us how to do that. My goal with this book was to provide evidence-based strategies combining cutting edge positive psychology research and timeless techniques from the world of stand-up and improv comedy that anyone can use to develop their sense of humor into a powerful and intentional mindfulness tool. I want people who read the book to realize what comedians find out through years of work. Humor is not a talent; humor is a habit.
Did the actual results align with your expectations? Can you explain?
So far, not at all. Not one book has left the shelf. Wait… I’m being told that’s because the book’s release date isn’t until April 23. Whew! For a second there I thought this was a huge mistake. Although the book isn’t released yet, the pre-order sales are going great, and I’ve been blown away by the interest and support it’s garnered. As a first-time author, to have a literary agent take a chance on a book about humor and then receive multiple publication offers reaffirms what I’ve felt speaking on this topic to groups all over the world. People are over-worked, overwhelmed, and over it, and they’re interested in any strategy that can help them destress and find more joy in life.
What moment let you know that your book had started a movement? Please share a story.
The Humor Habit is available to pre-order and comes out in April 2024. I’ll know a movement has started when I see people sharing online how they’ve used material from the book to create a more dynamic and fun work environment, enhance their skills as a leader, or reframe stressful or painful experiences using humor in order to build resilience.
What kinds of things did you hear right away from readers? What are the most frequent things you hear from readers about your book now? Are they the same? Different?
When speaking to groups about The Humor Habit, some people tell me they don’t feel that they laugh enough, have “forgotten” how to laugh, or that they just don’t have as much humor in their lives as they used to. Others like to share moments where they’ve found humor in the pain points of life or how humor has helped them through struggles. My favorite thing though, is hearing from people who have tried some of the concepts from The Humor Habit and how it’s helped them take their pain and play with it or helped lighten the load enough to give them the capacity to deal with the demands of life without freaking out.
What is the most moving or fulfilling experience you’ve had as a result of writing this book? Can you share a story?
When I lived in California, our town experienced a devastating wildfire that burned thousands of homes and businesses and forced families into evacuation shelters. Through the days and weeks following the tragedy, I began noticing and hearing how humor helped some people get through as a coping strategy or as a brief distraction from their trauma. From community facebook groups where people shared the “random things they grabbed when they evacuated”, to a family hiring a photographer and returning to their destroyed home to do an ugly Christmas sweater photo shoot with stockings hanging on the chimney, which was the only thing left standing, there were countless examples of how people used levity to cope with the gravity of the situation.
Several months after the fire, I shared these examples as well as some of the content from “The Humor Habit” in a talk with a local group of healthcare workers. While several participants shared how much they enjoyed it, there was one woman who approached me and said, “That was truly wonderful, thank you” to which I replied “Absolutely, it was my pleasure!” as I began picking up my bag to leave. She stopped me, grabbed both of my hands, and looked me in the eyes with hers filling up with tears and said “No, really. You have no idea how much I needed that today. I think this is the first time I’ve laughed since the fire. We lost everything, and I don’t want to add my sense of humor to the list.” To be honest, I always knew intellectually that the concepts in the book are beneficial and impactful, but I don’t think I believed on a deep emotional level until hearing from this woman and many other members of my community during those tragic events.
On a lighter note, another audience member from that same talk shared with me the first time she had a good laugh after the fire. She and a friend were using a screen to sift through the ashes of her home to look for jewelry or other items that may be salvageable. Her friend said she found something and as the woman went over, assessed where in the home they were, and saw the small, curved metal rod she started laughing. “It’s the underwire to one of my bras! It figures — those things always felt like they were indestructible!”
Have you experienced anything negative? Do you feel there are drawbacks to writing a book that starts such colossal conversation and change?
Of course. Anytime you put original thoughts or ideas out for public consumption there will be those who are critical or simply don’t agree with you. One of the biggest pushbacks a book like The Humor Habit gets is that the topic isn’t serious enough for a business management or personal development book. If you don’t have time to read this book because it’s not serious enough, then I’d suggest reading it twice.
Can you articulate why you think books in particular have the power to create movements, revolutions, and true change?
Reading a book is a uniquely personal way of internalizing information. Someone can see me speak live or watch my TEDx Talk and may feel inspired or moved, but the words remain mine for the most part. It’s easier to make a book ours. We can read the same line numerous times to make sure we’re understanding it, we put our own emphasis on certain words, and we picture characters and scenarios different than anyone else would. Once the words go from being the author’s original thoughts to being the reader’s new understandings, ideas, or revelations, readers feel empowered and inspired to act on those.
What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a bestselling writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study) Can you share a story or example?
I mean… The Humor Habit of course. What!? You toss a softball up there over the plate and expect me not to swing at it? For real though, the balance between discipline/hard work and fun/not taking it too seriously is huge. One of the best things I did was set aside rewards for my hard work, whether it was a latte after a few pages or a 3-day weekend of no writing after grinding all week.
What challenge or failure did you learn the most from in your writing career? Can you share the lesson(s) that you learned?
The biggest thing I had to learn was what content was absolutely core to the book and what wasn’t. At first, I thought everything was crucial and I didn’t want to cut anything out, but several editors helped me understand that less is often more, particularly if the extra content is distracting from the main point. It’s like this sentence you’re reading right now -why would I add this? Or this one? Those were completely unnecessary and should have been cut from this article.
Many aspiring authors would love to make an impact similar to what you have done. What are the 5 things writers need to know if they want to spark a movement with a book?
- You need to have a deadline. Whether you’re self-publishing or land a book deal, “I’m hoping to finish it by August” is code for “I’ll still be talking about writing this book in three years.” I was talking about writing my book for five years, and once I finally put together a proposal, got a book deal, and the publisher gave me a deadline… what do you know!? I finished the book by that deadline!
- Write about something you genuinely believe in and care about. I don’t really consider myself a writer, and writing a book wasn’t an initial goal of mine, but this book had to come out of me. I believe so much in what’s in the book and I’ve spent so many years using the information that I felt like I had to put it out there in a way that other people could use it. Plus, I wrote about a lot of stuff I didn’t care about in school, and it always sucked.
- A colleague and fellow author, Peter McGraw, gave me great advice that helped in the writing process. Write fat then get skinny. There were plenty of ideas, concepts, examples, and stories that I wasn’t sure if I wanted in the book, but I found it works best to write them down and get them in there while your brain is firing them out rather than editing yourself as you go. After it’s all written down, there will be some things you added don’t make sense or flow with the rest of the book, but at least you’ll have the option of keeping or cutting some of your brilliance rather than wishing you could remember that great line you came up with last week.
- Make it practical. As I mentioned, I’ve read tons of books on the value of humor at work and for wellbeing, but I’ve found very little information out there about how people can develop their sense of humor or specific tools showing how to use humor effectively.
- Use humor in your book. People are not only more likely to buy things with humorous advertising, but they’re also more likely to remember your content if you weave in some laughs. If you’re not sure how, then you can learn a few tricks in my book The Humor Habit. See what I did there? That’s kind of a sixth bonus tip — get comfortable promoting your book. You took the time to write it! You believe in what you wrote! It’s your duty to share it with the world!
The world, of course, needs progress in many areas. What movement do you hope someone (or you!) starts next? Can you explain why that is so important?
As a guy who’s 5’4” tall, soaking wet, I think the next movement should be that concert seating is done strictly by height just like we line up for class photos. I’m willing to trade tall people this convenience for a few inches of legroom on airplanes.
Speaking of airplanes, I really hope the next big movement is for alternative fuels for air travel. I think that can have a huge environmental impact. But also, don’t forget the concert seating thing. That’s important too.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Here are links to all my pages. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, X, LinkedIn, Youtube I’m @paulosincup on all social media
Thank you so much for these insights. It was a true pleasure to do this with you.
Paul Onsincup On How To Write A Book That Sparks A Movement was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.