Mental Health Champions: Why & How Lane Pease Hendricks Of Kate’s Club Is Helping To Champion Mental Wellness

An Interview With Eden Gold

1. I practice yoga, and it has been instrumental for me in making the mind/body connection.

2. I make sure I stay connected to family and friends. I literally text with my best friend (a therapist) every day.

3. I get outside! Being in nature wherever and whenever I can. Walking outside is crucial for me.

4. I plan vacations and do not look at work email and try to stay away from news during those times.

5. I try to keep learning. I recently decided to brush up on my Spanish!

As a part of our series about Mental Health Champions helping to promote mental wellness, I had the pleasure to interview Lane Pease Hendricks, MS, NCC.

Lane Pease Hendricks, MS, NCC, has nearly 13 years of professional experience in bereavement support. However, long before she studied counseling and began the grief support leg of her career, Lane experienced the death of her first husband when they had two young children. Her role as the Director of Education and Innovative Programs at Atlanta-based nonprofit Kate’s Club is the unique apex of both her personal and professional experiences.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?

Thank you so much for having me! It’s a pleasure to talk with you today. I grew up in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, where I was the youngest of three and lived with my mom and dad. My family was close, but we often dealt with mental health issues, particularly depression. However, it was the 80s, so people didn’t talk about it as openly. With the perspective I have now, including both my professional and personal experiences, I look back, and I really wish we could have been more open about these mental health challenges as a family and a society. I also wish most of all that our family could have gotten the help we needed without the stigma that came with it.

You are currently leading an initiative that is helping to promote mental wellness. Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are trying to address?

I wish more people would ask me this question! In almost 13 years working in bereavement support, with a focus on children’s bereavement, I’ve seen many shifts in the field and even how our society approaches grief. However, there is still so much that people don’t know about grief — the science behind it, its impact if addressed, or even the impact if unaddressed.

First of all, many don’t realize grief is not only the most common form of childhood trauma, but it’s also often a child’s first trauma. We think of the moment that a child experiences a death as a highway exit. If a child is not empowered to cope positively with their grief, or if the grief is not addressed at all, it can be an on-ramp to other mental health challenges.

We know unaddressed grief can manifest in challenges at school and home. Also, up to 90% of kids in the juvenile court system have experienced the death of someone important to them. In Judi’s House’s recent Childhood Estimation Bereavement Model (CBEM) reports, they also found that 1 in 4 youth who die by suicide were bereaved and bereaved youth are 175% more likely to develop Substance Use Disorder in adulthood than youth who aren’t.

However, we also know that positively coping with grief can be an off-ramp from these mental health challenges. By helping kids navigate their grief in a healthy, supportive way, we are also preparing them for the challenges of life ahead, which ultimately supports not only the children but also their communities.

By helping kids cope positively with their grief, we can teach them self-awareness, emotional intelligence and communication skills. We can also strengthen family systems and lay a foundation for resilience, emotional growth and lifelong well-being.

We also work with kids’ parents and caregivers at Kate’s Club because death can impact an entire family’s dynamic. The number one indicator of how a child copes with grief is how their surviving caregiver copes, so if a caregiver does not address their grief, then it can negatively affect a child’s grief process.

Additionally, we serve young adults ages 18 to 30 who have experienced the death of someone close to them. In the United States, 1 in 5 young adults will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 25. This is double the childhood bereavement rate and does not even consider the death of partners, friends or other family members.

Like children, there are limited resources for young adults, despite the uniqueness of their grief at an age where many are on their own and learning to navigate adulthood for the first time while also missing people who may have been foundational to their support system.

I believe that community and connection are the best way to address grief for kids, families and young adults. I see every day how impactful it can be when someone shares just one thing about their grief, rather than bottling it all up. Through my work, I am ultimately trying to help people build resilience, confidence, communication skills, and other necessary skills to address mental health challenges they will face in their lives.

Can you tell us the backstory about what inspired you to originally feel passionate about this cause?

I was in my early 30s when my first husband died of cancer. Our two kids were four and nine months old. I’ve seen firsthand how that grief and loss changed the whole trajectory of our lives. My kids have grown into amazing adults, but it has been a long journey, and they still grieve to this day.

However, with the right support, they have been able to continue their bonds with their dad in unique ways, from little things like wearing his clothes to big things like traveling to places he loved. They’ve also made meaning from his death. During college, my youngest had a leadership role in an organization that worked with families impacted by cancer.

As for me, my own experiences led me to work in bereavement support. I knew firsthand that grief support resources could be limited despite how universal this experience is, and I knew I could make an impact for families like my own.

Since my first husband died, I have also experienced the death of my mother, father, and most recently my brother. I learn something new with each loss, and while it changes me as a person, I also harness those experiences to better serve others who are grieving.

Many of us have ideas, dreams, and passions, but never manifest them. They don’t get up and just do it. But you did. Was there an “Aha Moment” that made you decide that you were actually going to step up and do it? What was that final trigger?

I joined Kate’s Club in 2012, just before its 10th anniversary. It was a strong organization, but much smaller — small, but mighty if you will. Even then, I knew there were ways to support more children.

At the time, we only offered member services, where families would drop off their kids or meet at one location for grief support programs. I knew accessibility was a challenge for some families, so I led our first grief support group at a local school. It eliminated time and transportation barriers, especially when many of the families we serve are newly single-parent families. We now have school grief support groups across the entire state of Georgia.

I also remember hosting my first Lunch and Learn for professionals who work with children and families. I could see how much they craved knowledge on how to support their clients, and I knew then how important it was to teach others about grief and how to address it. My role at Kate’s Club has now evolved, so I am often on the road, traveling across the entire state to educate teachers, school administrators and faculty, court professionals, therapists, counselors and more to be grief-informed in their work.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?

I have been impacted by so many stories of the children and families we serve at Kate’s Club that it’s hard to pick just one. One that comes to mind is when I was leading a support group at a high school. There was a really quiet member. Her mother had died suddenly, and since she and her sister had different fathers, they went to live in different homes.

One day she came in and said, “Ms. Pease, this group is really helping me. It was my mother’s birthday yesterday, which was hard, but I was speaking with my sister and told her some of the things I learned in the group, and we both felt better.”

Most of the time, it is these simple stories that mean the most to me.

It can also be powerful to see how positive coping can change the trajectory of a child’s life. We once had a Kate’s Club member who lost several family members, including her father, in an unimaginable tragedy. She is very successful now as a young adult working in public policy. She still volunteers for mental health causes and suicide prevention.

None of us can be successful without some help along the way. Did you have mentors or cheerleaders who helped you to succeed? Can you tell us a story about their influence?

My supervisor at the hospice where I did my internship for my counseling degree was an amazing mentor. She taught me about having open conversations around death and dying and grief. She taught me how to hold space for people in the darkest hours. Without her positive influence, I don’t believe my journey in this field would have been the same.

According to Mental Health America’s report, over 44 million Americans have a mental health condition. Yet there’s still a stigma about mental illness. Can you share a few reasons you think this is so?

I can think of a few reasons, particularly related to grief in the mental health space. Like I mentioned before, I grew up in the 80s, and conversations about mental health were few and far between. I am glad that things are different now, but we could still be doing so much more. In the grief space alone, many people don’t think of grief as a mental health issue. They don’t realize all the risks we face if our grief goes unaddressed — as kids, young adults and adults.

Closely linked to that is misinformation. We see it all the time in the grief space. Everyone thinks kids are inherently resilient when it comes to any challenge. However, we know that’s not true. Kids’ coping skills, such as their ability to cope with grief, are like muscles they need to learn how to use and flex over time. They don’t gain these skills without being taught them.

Another common misunderstanding is that grief goes away over time. With the right coping mechanisms, grief does get easier over time, but it never goes away. Much of our work at Kate’s Club follows Dr. Lois Tonkin’s theory that our grief stays the same size forever, but we gain more experiences and tools that help us grow around the grief, making it easier to cope.

In your experience, what should a) individuals b) society, and c) the government do to better support people suffering from mental illness?

When it comes to grief, the best thing you can do for someone is be open to conversation. Grief can be incredibly isolating because we’re taught to grieve in silos, but community is foundational to our grief practice at Kate’s Club. Our programs are fun, recreational and group-based, giving young people and their families the opportunity to meet others who feel the same way. That way, they feel a lot less alone.

Once people learn about the importance of addressing grief, we hope they educate others that our society often doesn’t tackle grief the right way. When it comes to policy, one thing we believe in is better bereavement policies in schools, workplaces and more.

For example, in New Jersey, the governor recently signed legislation requiring grief education for students in grades eight through twelve. Schools are also required to provide resources to students, like in-school support, mental health crisis support and more. The pilot for this program is currently wrapping, and I look forward to learning more about its success.

What are your 5 strategies you use to promote your own well-being and mental wellness?

1. I practice yoga, and it has been instrumental for me in making the mind/body connection.

2. I make sure I stay connected to family and friends. I literally text with my best friend (a therapist) every day.

3. I get outside! Being in nature wherever and whenever I can. Walking outside is crucial for me.

4. I plan vacations and do not look at work email and try to stay away from news during those times.

5. I try to keep learning. I recently decided to brush up on my Spanish!

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a mental health champion?

My favorite podcast is “Everything Happens” with Kate Bowler. It is not a mental health podcast per se, but it really dives into people tackling life challenges. Some of my favorite grief books are David Kessler’s Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief and my own We Come Together As One: Helping Families Grieve, Share, and Heal the Kate’s Club Way.

If you could tell other people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?

When we learn to support each other through mental health challenges like grief, it helps us grow as individuals, foster our relationships and strengthen our communities as a whole. I always recommend that people connect with others and be there for those in their circle.

It can feel hard to know what to say, but all you have to do is reach out and be there for someone. We all just want someone willing to be a companion through our experiences, not someone to fix everything.

How can our readers follow you online?

• katesclub.org
• instagram.com/katesclub
• facebook.com/katesclubinc
• linkedin.com/company/katesclub
• tiktok.com/@katesclubinc

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!

Thank you!

Mental Health Champions: Why & How Lane Pease Hendricks Of Kate’s Club Is Helping To Champion… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.