Kristina Landolfi Of Alternative Pathways On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Acknowledge your value, instead of focusing on the value of the items you have.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Kristina Landolfi.
Kristina Landolfi is the owner and founder of Alternative Pathways, a virtual holistic health and wellness center. Kristina focuses her career as a health and wellness coach on helping her clients find their path to full mind and body wellness. Kristina is a Master Certified Health Coach, and has her Masters Degree in Human Services Counseling Health and Wellness.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
It was a long and winding road that led me to my current career as a health and wellness coach and to opening up my holistic coaching practice. I wanted to work on my whole self to help me heal from past wounds and grow as a person. Once I started this journey I began to fall in love with the world of holistic health and wellness. During this time I worked for many years as a crisis counselor, and I started to notice there was a need not only in my community but all over for more services that focused on the whole person. I wanted there to be something more out there, and to create a service that instead of just focusing on mental health or physical health took an integrated approach to work on both together and promote overall wellness. I wanted to work with the population of people who wanted to focus on how their mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected, and were looking for some guidance to help them stay accountable to reach their health and wellness goals. This led me to receiving my masters degree in Human Services Counseling Health and Wellness, and eventually becoming a Master Certified Health Coach and opening up Alternative Pathways LLC.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Since opening Alternative Pathways I have had so many wonderful experiences. I am so thankful for the people I have met, the places I have been able to go, and the message I have been able to share. With that being said the most interesting part of my journey, and the part that brings me the most joy, is my family joining in on my business! Alternative Pathways started out with just me as a health and wellness coach, but I saw the need for so much more in the community. I am very blessed to come from a supportive family, and actually come from a line of mental health professionals. My mom is a hypnotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, and my dad is a licensed professional counselor. As I started to grow Alternative Pathways I had them cheering me on, but I had the idea to ask if they would like to join me in the practice. Now we all work together and are able to offer more than just health and wellness coaching, but hypnosis, emotional regulation and several other services as well. I love getting to work with them, especially since we work with so many families in our community. The family support doesn’t stop there though, two of my sisters are also small business owners so we are always leaning on each other for support and working together, it truly is a family affair!
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes! We are currently working on a health and wellness blog that is featured on the Alternative Pathways website. In the blog we will have stories written by health and wellness coaches sharing their expertise. A lot of the content we post on the blog will come along with downloadable resources as well. I think this blog will help a lot of people on their journey to better wellness because it is a space to explore, and gain insight about your mind and body connection.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
As a health and wellness coach, I help my clients to make sustainable lifestyle changes. Part of the changes we make is learning how to simplify and declutter their lives. As a Master Certified Health Coach, as well as having my masters degree in Human Services Counseling Health and Wellness, I help my clients with the emotional blockages that can keep us from simplifying our lives. I have personal experience with simplifying my life as well. Before becoming a health and wellness coach, I had a well paying job and all the material objects I could want, and I still wasn’t happy. I found myself mindlessly going on shopping trips or buying items I didn’t need. I was using objects to make me feel happy instead of actually looking within to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. I started to realize what I was passionate about and what brought me joy, and how I was lacking these things in my life. That’s when I realized I put myself into this situation, so I have the power to create a new situation. Once we truly acknowledge that we have the power to change and create the world around us, we can start focusing on what actually makes us happy and let go of the material objects we used to try and fill the void. I focused on what made me feel joy and leaned into it. I focused on my own value and worth instead of the worth of the items around me. I set boundaries in my relationships and started to focus on my own needs. Over time I found myself being able to let go and no longer felt like objects and money defined who I was. This is how I eventually quit my job and opened my health and wellness coaching practice and I have never been happier! It was a scary and emotional journey to simplify and declutter but my life is now full of abundance.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that having a lot of “stuff” makes us happier. When we get new things, our brain releases dopamine which in turn makes us feel good, so naturally, we start to learn that more “stuff” equals happiness. However, we need to remember that the feeling of happiness we get when acquiring new things is only temporary. Having a lot of possessions does not solve any of our problems or help us on a deeper emotional level. When you think about it, our stuff really doesn’t do anything for us. It doesn’t give back to us emotionally, spiritually, or physically because they are just objects. Another reason having a lot of possessions can make us unhappy is because we use our stuff as a distraction from everyday life. The more possessions we have, the more distractions we have to keep us away from finding our true selves and being a part of experiences. It can feel like our possessions do a lot for us but in reality, if it isn’t an object that is providing for our basic needs, it doesn’t add any value to our lives. Regardless of what the advertisements and celebrity endorsements say, “stuff” cannot make us suddenly satisfied with our life or selves. True happiness can only come from inside you. We create our own happiness each day, and we can choose to look for the moments that bring us joy or to default to the objects that bring us temporary pleasure.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
I think the idea of excessiveness can be harmful to our society. We live in a time where social media makes it very easy for us to see what other people have. From influencers talking about the latest products, to that friend from highschool that just posted a picture of their new designer bag, it puts a lot of pressure on us to feel like we need these objects too. Our society pushes this idea that the things we have are no longer good enough and we need to have the newest, most in style things out there. It’s a dangerous cycle because we start to believe we need this “stuff”. When this happens, it means we are starting to determine our own value based on what items we own. When we start to base our own value on our possessions we will never feel like we are good enough. Financially we will never be able to afford every luxury, or “must have” item that hits the market. This in turn makes us feel badly about ourselves and lets money start to control how we feel about ourselves. We also need to understand that there will always be someone who has something we do not have. Just because we do not have something doesn’t mean we are not living an abundant life, and are provided for in other ways.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
Simplifying and decluttering our lives helps to find true happiness, because it allows us to actually focus on what brings us joy and who we are today. Over the years we start to accumulate so much stuff, and a lot of that stuff has sentimental value. When objects are sentimental to us we sometimes can use them to define who we are or make a statement about who we are; and while there is nothing wrong with using art or things to make a statement about us, when we don’t take time to declutter and simplify we start to lose our authentic self and instead just look to the stuff we have to define us. We miss out on happiness because we often define our value and worth by the material objects we have around us, and this is simply harmful. Simplifying your life helps you to focus on your own value and happiness. It allows you to look inside yourself and discover who you are today. Simplifying is so much more than just decluttering our physical space but our mental space as well. Simplifying can mean decluttering your thoughts by practicing positive self talk. It can mean cutting out toxic relationships and people. Simplifying can also mean acknowledging how much stress we create in our own minds. Whether it’s from negative self talk, not setting boundaries, or trying to force ourselves to do things we feel we “should’’. Simplifying is accepting that we have the power to change these behaviors and make our lives simple. It’s about looking for joy each and every day and letting ourselves lean into it and find the time to make joy a priority in our lives
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
Once I made the decision to focus on simplifying my life I saw improvements in my whole life, but the journey was challenging. I really struggled with the sentimental value that my physical items held, but I soon realized that the value I was giving these items were made up by me so I could also take that value away. For example when I started my journey to declutter I had this colorful skirt that I used to love to wear in college. It made me feel fun and vibrant, I even met my husband for the first time when wearing it! At the time it really represented my personality. Years later when I was simplifying and decluttering, I came across this skirt and I could not for the life of me let it go. I thought when I let this go I am no longer this person, and I thought about all the fun memories I have associated with when I wore this piece of clothing. I came to the realization that it’s okay to acknowledge how much an item meant to me at a specific time in my life but it’s also okay to acknowledge that it is no longer serving me and who I am today. Just because you give up an item with sentimental value does not mean you lose the memories and experiences associated with it, those are a part of you. Once I realized that, it was so much easier for me to declutter, and when I was able to declutter my physical space I was able to focus on my mental space. I started to take into account all the added stress I put on myself, from the way I spoke to myself, from worries about things out of my control, to living in fear of following my passion because I was worried about what others would think of me. I started to look at my life and all the different areas where I was making things more complicated and I chose to simplify. I started living more mindfully, listening to myself, following love and joy, and setting boundaries. My relationships improved, my business started to grow and I started to feel truly happy. Even still, when I first started my business, I did worry about money so much. It scared me that I was no longer making a set salary and it bothered me that I couldn’t afford to buy the same things I used to. I overcomplicated my view and relationship with money, and once I took account of this, I was able to define what abundance means to me. I decided abundance wasn’t about having a lot of money or things, it was about living my truth, being happy, being healthy — physically, mentally, and spiritually, and having relationships with people who make me feel whole.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
The idea of “experiencing enough” is something that took me a long time to define on my own wellness journey. For the majority of my life I would absolutely consider myself a people pleaser. I let others have a large impact on my life.. When I started to find my passion for holistic health and wellness I knew that I wanted to eventually start my own business. Although I did have a strong support system of friends and family there were people in my life who were not supportive of my decision to pursue an education and career in this field. I had a lot of people tell me how my business will not be successful or how I need to focus on the job I have already and only do my business on the weekends. I would go on social media and find posts that talked down about holistic health and wellness professionals, and even in my community my business was seen as “bizarre”. For a long time I listened to everyone who talked down. I listened to the people telling me I was not making enough money and that my profession was not good enough. I listened to the people who didn’t understand my passion and my business went nowhere. I was miserable for a while and I constantly had one foot out the door on my own business because I was so focused on what other people defined as “enough”. That is when I realized that I had the power to make myself happy, and that it did not matter what other people thought about my passion because at the end of the day it is my life and I deserve to do what brings me happiness. It was not easy, but instead of focusing on the standards that others had set, I focused on developing my own standards for myself and defining what success looks like to me. I started to practice gratitude each day, and leaned into the support system that I had. I cut off relationships with people who doubted me, and stopped scrolling through social media to find articles and opinions that made me feel bad about myself and my profession. My life is now filled with so much abundance, and I can truly say that I am enough.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
To give advice to younger people on “experiencing enough”, first I want to tell them that they need to define what enough is. Experiencing enough is as simple as making time for the activities and people that bring you joy. Find what makes you happy and follow that path, no matter what others say, at the end of the day it is your happiness. The second piece of advice I would share is that abundance is not measured in material possessions. When you start to focus too much on what you do not have you start to take for granted what you do have. You miss out on the experiences and little moments in your life because your brain is too busy focusing on what you want so you do not appreciate what you have. Lastly, You need to stop comparing yourself and your life to those that you see on social media and television. Just because someone has a lot of money, or things it does not mean they are happy, no matter what they post. Some of the saddest and loneliest people are those that seem to have all the material objects they could ever want. Once you stop comparing yourself to others you are able to focus on you.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
Based on my own experience, as well as my research and work I do with clients I want to share with you my five ways that we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier. Before we dive in, it’s important to know that these steps are not meant to be easy or fast. This is a journey, and a lifestyle change, so it’s okay to take the time you need when simplifying and decluttering.
- Acknowledge your value, instead of focusing on the value of the items you have.
To do this, start with self reflection. Ask yourself some important questions. Who are you? What brings you joy? Who are you at your best self? Take the time and space to reflect on yourself and discover who you are today. Start to focus on the different areas of your life and notice where you feel you need simplification and decluttering. Practice self care, get to know yourself, and most importantly get in the habit of asking yourself “what do I need?”. When you start to really focus on your needs, and get to know yourself, it becomes easier to live a simpler life and appreciate your worth.
2. Let go of material possessions.
Get rid of objects that are causing clutter, and no longer serving you. To do this try scheduling time to focus on different areas of your house, so for example maybe one day you declutter your closet, and the following week you declutter your desk or workspace. By breaking up the process of decluttering it makes it more manageable, as the process can be emotionally challenging so it is important to give yourself the time you need. When decluttering physical possessions, focus on the object and ask yourself if this object is meeting any of your basic needs. From there, ask yourself if this object serves who you are today, if it is not meeting your basic needs, and it is not serving who you are today it is time to let it go. Focus on how much lighter you and your space feels without these extra objects, and think about how good it will feel to finally declutter. It’s okay to have a hard time when letting go of sentimental possessions, but it is important to remember that sentimental value is not held within an item, it is given that value by you. You hold the memories and connections that make this object special, the object is just an object. By letting go of the object you are not letting go of the memories or connections that it brings to you. When letting go of these sentimental objects it can be helpful to allow yourself time to journal or reflect while doing so, or even taking pictures of them on your phone as a replacement. The reasons those sentimental items are important to you are still a part of you and still within your memories and mind even if you let go of the actual object.
3. Practice gratitude each day.
When we start to practice gratitude each day we hardwired our brain to look for things that bring us joy and to be happy with the things we have. A great way to start practicing gratitude is by taking a few minutes each day to say three things you are grateful for that day. It can be something big like the people in your life, or a new job, or something as small as hearing your favorite song on the radio. After you get into the habit of practicing gratitude your brain will start to subconsciously find more things to be grateful for. When we are grateful for the things we have, it allows us to live a more simple life because we do not feel the need to fill a void with unnecessary objects or influences.
4. Focus on the people and experiences that make you happy.
When it comes to simplifying and decluttering our lives, quality time with people we love and making time to experience things that make you happy is what this lifestyle is all about. When we start to lean into the people and experiences that bring us joy our lives start to shift. When we fill our time with doing things that make us happy, and spending it with people we love, we start to diminish the need we feel to buy new things and fill our lives with clutter.
5. Don’t forget about your digital space.
We spend a lot of time on our phones, and when we spend time scrolling, searching, and liking we pass a lot of things on the way that may be influencing our daily attitudes and mindsets. To work on your digital space, start by deleting apps that you no longer use. Next look at the apps that are taking up too much of your time. If you can delete it, do so, but if not check out the app settings and set time limits on how long you can be on each app. Next, take time to clean up your followers. If you see someone you do not recognize or are no longer a part of your life delete them. Don’t forget to pay attention to how the content that is showing up on your homepage and for your page makes you feel. If you are noticing content that is making you feel “not enough”, block that page and unfollow others like it. We may not notice much but even when scrolling our subconscious brain is on and taking in all that content.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
As someone who experienced healing in my own life, the thing that helped me to heal was when I started to focus on my whole self. Once I began to understand my mind and body connection I was able to listen to myself more and truly find wellness and balance. I want to inspire people to take care of themselves and to understand the connection between our minds and our bodies. Once we appreciate that connection we start to learn so much about ourselves and we really start to heal and grow. We start to love ourselves more deeply, nurture others around us, and focus on joy. Our minds and our bodies are powerful vessels and we all deserve to be able to feel full mind and body wellness.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find us at our website linked in my bio above where you can learn about our services and read our health and wellness blog! You can also follow us on instagram @alternative_pathways_ and find us on Facebook at Alternative Pathways LLC.
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
Kristina Landolfi Of Alternative Pathways On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.