An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti
Most conflict arises from not being empathetic to what someone is facing that day. When we lead by example and always try to see the good, others will follow this. I see now that most people will come to me and let me know that I need to check in with a particular person, as they are not acting like themselves– versus saying, can you believe Sally did that! We have a culture of lifting each other up even in the hard times.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is increasingly recognized as a pivotal leadership trait. In an ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who exhibit genuine empathy are better equipped to connect, inspire, and drive their teams towards success. But how exactly does empathy shape leadership dynamics? How can it be harnessed to foster stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and a more inclusive work environment? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Kerry Wekelo.
KERRY WEKELO is the Chief Operating Officer at Actualize Consulting, a financial services firm. Her book and program, Culture Infusion: 9 Principles for Creating and Maintaining a Thriving Organizational Culture and latest book Gratitude Infusion, are the impetus behind Actualize Consulting’s award-winning culture. In her leadership, Kerry blends her experiences as a consultant, executive coach, award-winning author, mindfulness expert, and entrepreneur. Kerry received the 2021 Women with Vision Award and has been featured on ABC, NBC, NPR, The New York Times, Thrive Global, SHRM, Inc., and Forbes.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
When I began my career, I was involved with a project that involved shift work — everyone on my team was putting in 12-hour shifts. That, unfortunately, didn’t leave too much time for life outside of the workday, and I could feel how the lack of balance impacted me. Leadership was not showing any empathy towards their people and how stressed their teams were feeling. I realize now that this experience was planting the seeds for how I would want to lead and create a culture based on respect, empathy, and appreciation. I would grow to prioritize work/life balance for myself and my team. That concept continued to evolve, and I now reference it as life/work balance. Fast forward to today; our remote workplace culture is so in balance that 100% of our people (in an anonymous survey) state that Actualize Consulting is a great place to work!
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Actualize Consulting stands out because people are happy, respectful, inspired, and grounded in gratitude. Because of this, our clients are happy. When we decided to focus on our people first, our attrition rates, once at 33%, dropped to less than 1%. We started infusing leadership operations with the same techniques I found successful in my personal life, like focusing on effective communication, emotional and physical wellness, healthy work/life balance, solving conflict, encouraging team connection, setting intentions, and more. Once leadership was applying these principles, we were able to expand them to our employees and the process of infusing our culture was on its way. We continue to enjoy a low 4% turnover rate, and we are proud to have been named Top Company Culture by Entrepreneur Magazine, a Top Workplace by The Washington Post for five consecutive years, and Great Place to Work-Certified for four years.
Additionally, we have been named Fortune Best Small & Medium Workplaces™ and Best Workplaces in Consulting & Professional Services™. These impressive results were noticed by clients. They saw our employees happy to show up to work, putting extensive effort into doing their job well, and excited to do it all again the next day. They would ask us what we were doing to make it this way, and the answer was simple; we were focusing on our people. But when it comes to putting that into practice, it isn’t as straightforward. So, I turned our people-centric approach into nine principles that could be implemented with any team. Each principle contains actionable tips, exercises, and examples of how they can be integrated into any team or leadership style. I had the full support of Actualize, and we decided to turn it into a service offering. This shift in philosophy was the start of Culture Infusion, and most recently, we added Gratitude Infusion.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
- Self-awareness: Leaders must be self-aware and take time to assess how they are showing up or perceived by others. When your team sees you look inward, you gain respect. If you are able to apologize when you know you did wrong, that is huge. Actualize also believes in incorporating self-reflection across the organization. We added self-reflection on career objectives in our biannual review process. The majority of the review is self-reflection so we can truly get a sense of how our team members are doing.
- Accountability: We advocate bidirectional accountability, which helps employees know they are part of a team in all decisions and leads to satisfied team members. From the moment team members begin employment with Actualize, we discuss how we will support them and take accountability for ensuring their success. However, they also must take accountability for letting us know what they want, what is not working well for them, and what they enjoy most.
- Creativity: I have been with Actualize Consulting for over 18 years! To maintain growth and inspiration and continue thriving, I continuously think outside the box–in every area, from how we collaborate to goal setting to team bonding. For example, we have a monthly event to get our teams together. Sometimes, we are in person in local areas for people to meet, and we always host a virtual event. With a remote team since inception, Actualize has always had to be creative to foster a strong culture of togetherness.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
I know it is hard for any leader to let people go from their jobs. With Actualize, we have never had to let anyone go due to lack of work or budget reasons. The only reason we part ways is when we realize that the person is not a good fit for consulting. Most of the time, the person is amazing in so many ways, yet consulting is just not working for them. Having this difficult conversation never gets easier for me. However, I am grateful that I can handle this challenging task by expressing gratitude towards the person and supporting them with empathy. We also always offer references and help them network to find a job.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?
Empathy is the ability to listen, understand, and feel or relate to what the other person is feeling. In a leadership context this means caring about your team members’ lives, challenges, and career and personal aspirations. Empathy is called for in all interactions, but it is amplified when dealing with conflict resolution or work performance issues. As a leader, going into any of these situations is challenging. So, I recommend that you first tap into gratitude. Take a moment to pause and start with gratitude for the person. Starting with gratitude is the easiest part of all interactions. While you are in the pause, ask yourself, “What are you grateful for about the person and this experience?” You can always find something to be grateful for in others, and in doing so, you will feel the mood lighten. Expressing gratitude will lessen the negative charge around the conflict and allow room for empathy. When you tell someone why you are grateful for them and how you could have approached the situation differently, the other person is more inclined to follow your lead. When all parties involved come from a place of gratitude and empathy, a growth-inducing conversation can take place. Interacting from a place of being empathetic is needed in today’s work environment and worldwide.
Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship in your organization?
When someone is not showing up and performing at their usual capacity, it typically is something personal. I always ask, “How are you?” and “Do you want to talk about it?” And if they don’t want to talk, I suggest they step away from the office to change their scenery and enjoy a walk. I let them know that I am here for them, and when they are ready, I am available. The other thing is always to ask what people need from you, ask them how you can best support them, be present and listen, offer advice only if they are seeking it, or just let them vent.
How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?
Business is business, as a rule. It is keeping the emotion out of it while still having empathy. Just because you are empathetic does not mean you can let performance slide. I always tell people that if they are facing a challenge and need extra support, they should come to us, and we will figure out how to cover their projects. If a person does just let things slide, you can still be empathetic, yet also be firm on whether or not they can perform or if it is best to get someone to cover. Our culture promotes coverage when people are in need. One great thing we do at Actualize is how we handle when someone is out of the office. We ask their team to start an email to send to them when they get back to summarize all action and information; that way, they begin with one concise email upon return.
How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?
Sympathy is when you feel sad or feel bad for another person. You can get stuck in a low or negative mood when you have sympathy and might not be able to see a way up or out. When I come from a place of empathy, it is more empowering because I can feel how the other person feels and step into a solution from the same space they are in. Empathy is empowering.
What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?
Most businesses deal with substantial daily stress from the demands for results under ongoing time pressure. To meet increasing workloads, the most effective leaders spend significant time monitoring operations. To do this and maintain the well-being of the people doing the work, exceptional leaders also need to observe their people, take time to see each individual and their strengths, be empathetic, and lead from a place of understanding. A practical strategy is to pick up the phone and call your people to check in on them on a regular basis.
How can empathy help leaders navigate the complexities of leading diverse teams and ensure inclusivity?
Actualize has a diverse workplace, with our people working in offices in the US, UK, Canada, and Mexico. We structure our benefits and holidays to accommodate the diverse needs and expectations of each region. We have to focus on each individual’s culture and beliefs. Leaders need to understand how others operate and that the one size does not fit all philosophy is crucial.
Successful leaders recognize that one size does not fit all and not only realize that each person on their team is a unique individual, but they also use those differences to the best advantage of each team member and the organization. It is important to fully utilize the varying assets, personalities, and ages of their employees to facilitate individual and corporate well-being. The best leaders take time to disperse tasks and formulate teams to accurately play to each person’s strengths.
What’s your approach to ensuring that succession planning is a holistic process, and not just confined to the top layers of management? How do you communicate this philosophy through the organization?
I grew up in consulting, and my first roles involved documenting processes to ensure coverage for all roles in the organization. I was baffled that most firms we would do this for had nothing. If you ask my team, I am a stickler for ensuring we have back-up for each role to ensure if someone is out or leaves the firm, we can quickly stabilize and avert disaster.
One of the most vital aspects of the success of a company is communication, the thread that connects us together. Without effective communication, ideas don’t get shared or transferred, collaborations suffer, and relationships break. We ensure everyone knows the why behind ensuring we are always covered. Recently, I had a team member ask if he was being replaced while we were ensuring another person could do a task that is critical to running the business. I told him that having another team member able to perform the task was our practice and explained, “What if you are out one day and cannot conduct this critical task?”
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?
1.) Your Team Will Trust You
I have so many examples of the trust I have built using empathy. Upon reflection, I believe the main reason I can build trust is because I have check-ins on a regular basis with our entire company and teams. This repetition helps to build trust as I am empathetic with helping when they are facing a challenge. Being fully present allows me to ask, “What do you need right now?”
2.) Reduces Conflict
Most conflict arises from not being empathetic to what someone is facing that day. When we lead by example and always try to see the good, others will follow this. I see now that most people will come to me and let me know that I need to check in with a particular person, as they are not acting like themselves– versus saying, can you believe Sally did that! We have a culture of lifting each other up even in the hard times.
3.) Increases Morale
If you know you are allowed to be human and not perfect, you will have higher morale with your teams. I see this very clearly from my internal team, as we are all moms, and things happen that we cannot plan for. Having empathy for each other allows us to always have each other’s back. We frequently say, “I got you.” I know it increases my morale to know my team always has my back.
4.) You Personally will See Your People
When it all comes down to it, as a leader, the most solid foundation you can build is your heart. Leading from the heart is looking at each situation through a lens of compassion and kindness and having empathy for each team member. When I understand how people operate, I see why they excel in some areas and others are hard. We have many people who have challenges focusing, so I will break tasks down into smaller pieces. When I do this, they shine versus pushing them to do something out of their comfort zone. I see them as who they are.
5.) Higher Productivity
With trust, resolving challenges as they occur, increasing morale, and seeing your people as they are, you are bound to have higher productivity. As a consulting firm, we see this from our project utilization rate with billable hours to clients. We almost always meet our targets.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
Yes, as people can also take advantage of your kindness or not be as authentic with you as you are with them. I do find that these people are probably not the best fit for our culture, and the kind, genuine, empathetic people stick with us.
Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you awake at night? How do those thoughts influence your daily decision-making process?
I am an empath, so I pick up on anything that is out of the ordinary. I believe I do my best idea generation and problem-solving in my sleep. Sometimes, I wake up thinking of a new way to engage our team to keep our amazing culture. My team can attest they will get emails at all hours of the night when I have ideas. Perhaps I should add naps to my daily schedule!
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would like to see a world where people utilize active listening, practice empathy, and express gratitude. This is something every individual can implement and receive immediate benefits from. It can transform your family, relationships, and workplace. It costs nothing and is contagious. I believe it could change the world.
How can our readers further follow you online?
I am very active on LinkedIn and I would love to connect with you there. Visit Actualize Consulting to learn about my interactive sessions and sign up for our email list here. For more contact information visit, https://linktr.ee/kerryw.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.
Kerry Wekelo Of Actualize Consulting: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.