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Keeping In Touch With Your Intuition: Hanne Wulp Of Communication Wise On How Get In Touch With…

Keeping In Touch With Your Intuition: Hanne Wulp Of Communication Wise On How Get In Touch With Your Intuition And When To Trust Your Intuition When Making Decisions

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Acknowledge feelings/moods. Feelings are data, just as reasoning/previous experiences are. When we start to acknowledge feelings, we no longer have to fight them internally and we get to explore them better, and let them go as well. Should I take whatever I’m feeling right now, seriously?

Intuition is defined as the ability to understand something immediately without the need for conscious reasoning. Where does intuition come from? Can it be trusted? How can someone tune in to their intuition? To address these questions, we are talking to business leaders, coaches, mental health experts, authors, and anyone who is an authority on “How to Get In Touch With Your Intuition And When To Trust Your Intuition When Making Decisions.” As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Hanne Wulp.

Hanne Wulp is the owner of Communication Wise — http://www.communicationwise.org– and specializes in:

  1. Training teams, and
  2. coaching individuals in leadership communication & conflict resolution skills. With a background in litigating conflicts as an attorney, mediating, and facilitating tense, and multifaceted interpersonal issues, she has learned how to de-escalate effectively and guide participants to change perspectives and conflict resolution skills. She believes in empowerment, and with that taking responsibility and ultimately creating harmony.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I’m from The Netherlands, and out of 3 sisters, the middle sister. I grew up with a catchy (in Dutch) slogan, pushed by the government at that time, translated: “A smart girl is prepared for her future.” (Dutch: “Een slimme meid is op haar toekomst voorbereid”). Meaning, women have to be (financially) independent when they’re grown, so they have to study hard/ work hard to get there. I would have been a good example to show for the slogan. I worked hard in school and received good grades. When it was time to apply for a job as an attorney, I was invited by all the law firms I sent a letter to, just because of my outstanding grades.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Get clear on what’s important to you, take small steps to get there, and enjoy the journey.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

When I started reading the book “Crucial Conversations”, it was like everything I had learned before, started to click. It was like the missing puzzle piece to the puzzle I had created learning through life and education before. Using and applying reasonable arguments to mutually grow during a discussion (create a greater mutual understanding) is wonderful, except for when we, or the other person(s), cannot make that move out because they don’t feel psychologically safe. One of my mentors during my mediation era, advised me to “meet others where they are.” As an outsider, it is easy to dismiss others’ fears/insecurities/impatience/annoyances, and with that resistance, but for them, it’s very real. When you don’t acknowledge that, you make the process of solving the issue/conflict, a lot harder and longer.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does intuition mean? Can you explain?

I think intuition is a ‘gut feeling’. That feeling tells us (not) to do something, make a certain judgment call/decision. So, we use intuition to make quick, seemingly unfounded decisions. We can’t explain in words how we came to our decision using intuition, but it felt right/wrong. So, ultimately, I think it’s an emotional decision. Some people frown upon this; however, I think it has its place. We just can’t analyze everything thoroughly that comes at us, and neither would that be effective. It would make going through life impossible.

How would you define common sense? Are intuition and common sense related?

To me, common sense is another way of interpreting what is true to us, what our current data means to us. I think using intuition is also a way of interpreting data — we measure against our gut feeling what is true, what that current data tells us, or means to us.

In a broader sense: when you start accepting that ‘THE’ truth is nothing more than YOUR truth (and even that is temporary because we continue to gather data throughout life), then you’ll create space for different ways of interpreting data, and also for others’ interpretations. And that diversity of interpretations is ultimately going to lead to growth and strong connections.

We can tune in with our intuition when we become more aware of:

  • How the interpretation works from seeing/hearing/smelling/tasting/touching something to what our minds tell us about that — the conclusion/assumption/story -> based on our beliefs and feelings.

I think, this is how most people work:

  1. We observe something (see/hear/smell/taste/touch).
  2. We select some data out of that observation.
  3. We tell ourselves a story (based on previous experiences/mood) about what this selected data means (this is wrong/right, good/bad).
  4. We feel a certain way about what we’ve observed.
  5. We act.

We think we act based on what we’ve observed, but we added a lot of ‘sauce’ to it by interpreting it. Becoming aware of this allows us:

  1. To accept that others are living in this world with their own interpretations/stories.
  2. To accept that all our judgments are subjective.
  3. To become a little leaner with the ‘sauce’ we added to what we observed/selected.
  4. To give more space for common sense/intuition/having a broader perspective on options/possibilities, and also staying on our own paths.

How are they different from each other?

I think using common sense means interpreting data with more reason, and less emotion. I think using intuition means interpreting data with more emotion and less reason.

What are the positive aspects of being in touch with your intuition? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

Positive aspects are that it allows us to make quick decisions.

It’s funny that you ask to give a story or example. My mother expresses that I always used to ‘feel’ things, for example having good timing when reaching out to her or other family members. Sometimes, a gut feeling tells me to contact my grandmother, or a friend. I have one friend, who is a college professor (so she uses a lot of reason at work), who uses her intuition to reach out to me and vice versa, instead of commonly used moments, like holidays and birthdays, and calendars. It works out fine for us.

Research shows that we humans, effectively use intuition to determine whether someone is (in)genuine. We don’t analyze, we make that judgment call based on intuition, and we’re usually right.

Are there negative aspects to being guided by intuition? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

I think people mistake fear, or other strong feelings, for intuition. They use their gut feeling, when it would have worked out better for them using reason/analytic thinking first, and then decide. In general, I think it works out better for a lot of people to slow down first, and then decide and act.

I also think that it works against people to continually use their current, temporary feelings to make a judgment call about whether they’ll act on what’s next on their to-do list/calendar. I think it works better when people get clear on what’s important to them, which core values/goals they want to live by and work toward, and act in accordance with these long-term values/goals. I’m not dismissing feelings in any way, they are data. However, they’re not always data to use to act upon.

Can you give some guidance about when one should make a decision based on their intuition and when one should use other methods to come to a decision?

When you believe you’ve gathered enough data, it makes sense to include intuition to decide. Senior executives do this regularly — they have gathered enough data, and now they’re in front of deciding. They know their decision has multiple consequences. There are seemingly just as many pros as there are cons, in terms of consequences. They must decide. And they let their intuition have the last call. In terms of effectiveness/success, this process of deciding usually works out.

One shouldn’t use their gut feeling when their gut feeling is clouded with a certain mood, and they are not aware of that.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from trusting their intuition?

When you’re not sure if you can trust your intuition, because you’re in a certain low mood, or feel fearful — you can check your body whether you feel contracted somewhere — then I think it works out to hold off on making an immediate decision to act. There are chances that your current emotion is unbalanced/ not in line with your ultimate goals/core values. When you act based on fear (or anger/annoyance) and you’re not in true danger, this action is likely to work against you and your surroundings.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are five methods that someone can use to become more in touch with their intuition?

1 . Get clear on what’s important to you, what are your core values/goals? What do you want to experience in your lifetime?

I provide my clients a list of a set of core values, and ask them to pick out a top 5. It’s a method to become clear on what matters to them, and with that also why they experience resistance toward certain topics, and favorite others. That in part, then also then explains the conflicts they’ll find themselves in. For example: when you know you value balance, you also understand when you feel resistance toward people in your surroundings who take in extreme perspectives. When you value adventure, daring, and change, it will explain why might frown upon others who value safety, security, and who want everything to always stay the same.

I personally value harmony, internally and externally. Now that I live that and continually work toward that, I am experiencing much more internal and external peace and joy. I use intuition and analytical thinking to make decisions and of course, I get it wrong sometimes, I’m human. However, I overall feel great 😊.

2 . Ask yourself, after being clearer (see #1), what can you do to get there? What small next step is available to you to come closer to what’s important to you?

When you know what ultimately makes you feel good/experience joy in life, it’s easier to intuitively decide what next step works out for you.

3 . Meditate. When you become clear of your current thoughts and feelings, and you can detect them in real-time, they no longer run your total life experience, you can experience some peace during waking hours as well. To me, it means having more influence on what I want my life to look like. When I detect negative thoughts, I laugh at myself internally and think: “No Hanne, we’re not going there!” and I distract myself by literally looking at what I’m seeing, or hearing real-time. I basically practice to stop myself/slow down in my head.

4 . Acknowledge feelings/moods. Feelings are data, just as reasoning/previous experiences are. When we start to acknowledge feelings, we no longer have to fight them internally and we get to explore them better, and let them go as well. Should I take whatever I’m feeling right now, seriously?

5 . Give yourself and others grace. Every decision, whatever deciding tool has been used, has consequences. We haven’t lived this life before and we just don’t know everything. We’re only human. We mess up, fall down, get up, and try again. We are under the influence of ourselves (1), our social (2) and structural (3) environments. We take too little, or too much responsibility. We fight too hard, or we are mentally frozen by fear and never try. We fail to enjoy the journey of life for whatever reason. And it’s all ok. We can start over any time. Now is a great time 😊.

You are a person of significant influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I’d start a movement of clarity and skills building: where you (and others) are now, is the status quo. We are all on life’s journey, and that means we are on the move. What skills help us move on to the next step, individually and as a group, so that we ultimately create greater overall well-being (and with that: results) for all?

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

I’d like to have lunch with my grandmother. She is 96, and just moved into an assisted living facility, and I think she’d enjoy the company. I’d also try to gauge where she is in terms of joy, and if she still had some life lessons. Since she’s been through most of the journey already, she might have some wisdom in clear moments. Unfortunately, she cannot be tagged, she’s out of the age group that understands ‘tagging’ 😊.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Hanne Wulp, J.D. | LinkedIn

www.communicationwise.org

https://www.facebook.com/hannewulp.communicationwise

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at [email protected]. To schedule a free consultation, click here.


Keeping In Touch With Your Intuition: Hanne Wulp Of Communication Wise On How Get In Touch With… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.