Impactful Communication: Joel Benge Of ‘Nerd That Talks Good’ On 5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator

An Interview With Athalia Monae

“Know your audience’s caveman brain”. You’re not speaking to a machine. You’re speaking to a tired, distracted human who craves simplicity. Respect their cognitive load.

In an age dominated by digital communication, the power of articulate and effective verbal communication cannot be understated. Whether it’s delivering a keynote address, leading a team meeting, or engaging in a one-on-one conversation, impactful speaking can open doors, inspire change, and create lasting impressions. But what truly sets apart an effective communicator? What techniques and nuances elevate a speech from mundane to memorable? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Joel Benge.

Joel Benge is the principal nerd that talks good at MessageSpecs Consulting and helps other nerds talk good too. Working with companies from Nickelodeon to NASA, Joel has mastered the art of communicating complicated ideas and tech to audiences and teams. His card deck, MessageDeck, gamifies the process to help developers communicate their ideas and discover their credibility builders and hooks for their messaging.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about communication, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

My career path has been anything but linear. It been more like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book with a few side quests. I started out as a performer. My first job involved wearing a six-foot rat costume at a pizza restaurant. I later worked in theater and entertainment, including a slime-filled Nickelodeon tribute show at a theme park.

Eventually, I pivoted into tech support at a video game company, where I learned the art of listening to frustrated users and translating chaos into calm. That kicked off a long journey through IT, cybersecurity, and even government service, where I landed a surprising role in cybersecurity communications coordinator at a large government headquarters.

That’s where I discovered the power of translating technical complexity into clear, engaging messaging. Fast forward through a startup, a few creative agencies, and inventing a card game or two, and I now help technical founders and corporate teams develop messaging that actually connects with their audiences.

In fact, I created an entirely new card deck called the MessageDeck, which can be used by teams or individuals to prompt for the deeper and more meaningful messages that go untouched or unsaid in your typical “marketing” or “branding” sessions. I call the whole process “message therapy” (not a typo), because I’m helping brilliant nerds and teams discover what really sets them apart from the crowd so they learn to talk good on their own, without relying on external groups.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

One of the most eye-opening moments came early on, when I had to explain my startup’s cutting-edge cybersecurity algorithm to my 9-year-old son. I tell this story a bit more deeply in my new book, but I’d been struggling to explain this PhD-level concept to risk executives and boards of directors for months. How was I going to explain this to a kid who knew basically nothing about cybersecurity?

I took a step back and evaluated what I knew about him. He was bright, had been playing chess since he was three years old (proud dad brag!), and was very interested in games and how they worked. So, instead of a whiteboard or slide deck, we sat at the kitchen table with a deck of blank playing cards, sticky-notes, and a handful of plastic ants. Together, we created a card game that could be used to quickly explain the technical concept behind the product, so we could move past it and start talking about the deeper “whys.” By the end of a few hours, he probably knew more, conceptually, about cybersecurity than many people who come out of college with a degree. Sure, he didn’t have the base-level technical knowledge. But he didn’t really need to know that in order to appreciate the value of the product.

That moment of gamifying a complex concept turned into a prototype deck for a messaging card game — which is now the basis of my workshops. Sometimes the clearest communication comes when you’re forced to simplify for someone who couldn’t care less about buzzwords.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. Curiosity. I’ve never stopped asking “why?” Whether that’s about a marketing strategy, a security protocol, or a line of Shakespeare. That curiosity has kept me evolving and connecting unexpected dots across disciplines.

2. Translation. But not in a linguistics sense. I mean translating between worlds: technical and non-technical, creative and analytical. In government, startup, or agency work, this ability to “bridge the nerd gap” has opened doors others didn’t even see.

3. Empathy. Messaging isn’t about what you want to say to an audience; it’s about what they need to hear. I’ve built entire strategies around truly listening — to customers, to stakeholders, even to my own internal resistance — and reflecting that back in clear, honest language.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define an “Effective Communicator?” What are the characteristics of an effective communicator?

I like to use the metaphor of “clarity vs. focus” when I think about effective communications. If you think about a camera lens or a pair of glasses, clarity represents a crisp message that ensures that the message is understood. Focus is adjusting or projecting certain lenses or points of view to ensure that it’s relevant and directed at both the moment and the audience.

Clarity is about removing distortion. It’s what makes a message easy to grasp, free from jargon, ambiguity, or unnecessary complexity. But clarity alone isn’t enough. A perfectly clear message that lands in the wrong place or at the wrong time still misses the mark.

That’s where focus comes in. Focus is about intentional direction. It’s choosing what not to say so that what is said lands with more impact. In the same way a camera lens can be clear but aimed at the wrong subject, communication can be technically accurate but emotionally misaligned.

An effective communicator is someone who knows how to deliver the right message with both.

How can one tailor their communication style to different audiences or situations?

Tailoring communication is like tuning a radio: the core message remains, but transmission adjusts to ensure clarity. The “Heart, Head, Gut” model, adapted from Aristotle’s pathos, logos, and ethos, offers a human-centric approach.

Heart (Emotion): Builds connection and inspires action by resonating with hopes, fears, values. Crucial for unfamiliar audiences or sparking quick attention.

Head (Logic): Provides structure through data, processes, rationale. Essential for analytical audiences but most effective when supporting emotional or credibility-driven cases.

Gut (Trust): Establishes credibility via experience, credentials, social proof, or tone. Vital for skeptical audiences or high-stakes situations.

Effective communicators know their audience, choosing which “organ” to lead with and then balancing out with the other two. This isn’t manipulation; it’s about alignment, meeting minds rather than changing them.

Can you provide an example of a time when you had to adapt your communication style to reach a particular audience successfully?

When I joined a government cybersecurity office, I had to turn highly technical security mandates into communications that made busy federal employees care. Everyone in the security department already had an inbuilt understanding of the reasons behind the policy directives. But for most of the 140,000-plus members of the workforce, policies and rules were just administrative or burdens to their getting through their days.

So we needed to find the “hooks” or messages that would get their attention so they’d at least pick up the basics of the policy. For example, rather than rely on metrics as justification for a campaign about password hygiene, we compared passwords to uses socks — “Change them often, and don’t share.” Juvenile? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.

How do you handle difficult or sensitive conversations while maintaining open and effective communication?

Two tools: humility and framing. First, we have to recognize, especially in moments of heightened emotional states, that there’s also a tendency to fall back on biases or preconceived notions. Essentially, putting oneself in a defensive position.

I try to ask, “What story are they telling themselves right now, and how do I enter that narrative with respect?” I lead with intent, not accusation. I also rely on the “So what?” card from my MessageDeck — it reminds me to dig into the why behind a difficult issue before jumping to how or what.

In your experience, how does storytelling play a role in impactful speaking? Why do you think stories are effective in communication?

Stories bypass the logic filter and plug straight into emotion and memory. They’re how humans have always made sense of the world. Long before we had dashboards or slide decks, we had stories around fires, in caves, in bedrooms. They are how we create shared meaning, convey values, and connect across roles, expertise, or perspective.

When people hear “Let me tell you a story,” even the most analytical brain perks up. It’s a cue to pay attention. Stories give abstract ideas context. They turn facts into felt experience. That’s why I believe storytelling isn’t just an accessory to communication. It’s context-builder.

Back to the startup I was in, whose core technology was based on a PhD thesis that used ant colony optimization — a biologically inspired algorithm that mimics how ants explore and respond to their environment.

The lead developer and I had a running debate about the best metaphor to use. He wanted to describe the algorithm like an ant colony building tunnels underground — which was technically accurate. I argued for a simpler image: ants following crumbs in your kitchen. Everyone’s seen that. Everyone gets that. I told him, “Most people haven’t seen ant tunnels. They have seen ants chasing snacks.” So we settled on accurate-enough, because it introduced the fewest mental speed bumps.

What are your “5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator”?

I’ve alluded to these, and I go into them much more deeply in the book. But here’s what I would tell someone if I o

1. “Know your audience’s caveman brain”. You’re not speaking to a machine. You’re speaking to a tired, distracted human who craves simplicity. Respect their cognitive load.

2. “Lead with clarity, follow with focus”. First, clarify your intent. Then, focus the message like a laser to meet them where they are in their journey.

3. “Balance the Heart, Head, and Gut.” Every message needs an emotional hook (Heart), a logical rationale (Head), and a credibility marker (Gut). Don’t overplay one at the expense of the others.

4. “Gamify your thinking.” Use tools like my MessageDeck to explore your message from every angle. Reversing, reframing, stripping jargon — these aren’t tricks. They’re how you find truth.

5. “Test with someone who doesn’t care.” If a 9-year-old, your spouse, or your barista can’t understand the value of what you’re saying, start over.

How do you integrate non-verbal cues into your communication? Can you provide an example of its importance?

I’m always scanning for body language and facial cues — is someone leaning in or leaning back? Are they nodding or glazed over? I also use intentional pauses and eye contact to signal confidence and invite engagement. Silence is a powerful tool.

Digital communication has introduced a whole new category of non-verbal cures that I don’t think people appreciate quiet yet. For example, when it comes to live or recorded video, quality is crucial. Good equipment shows respect to the people on the other end. If your audio or video is shoddy, people will tune out.

How has digital communication changed the way you convey your messages? Are there any specific challenges or advantages you’ve encountered?

It’s forced all of us to be more concise and deliberate. In person, you get grace. Online, you get skimmed. Emojis, GIFs, tone — these matter more than ever. One missed cue in Slack can snowball into misunderstanding. I’ve learned to be both direct and human in every platform I use.

Back to the non-verbals, I personally use a teleprompter mounted above my deck and I place whomever I’m talking to on that screen so I’m sure to have better eye contact with them.

Public speaking is a common fear. What techniques or strategies do you recommend to manage and overcome stage fright?

As a recovering theater nerd, I still get butterflies in my stomach before I step on stage or turn on my podcast mic. But I picked up a little piece of advice from a manager when I was in the government. He said, “any room you can get into, you belong in.”

If you’ve been asked to speak somewhere or you’ve gotten an opportunity to present to a crowd, remember that they’re looking to you for something that they expect only you can give.

Focus on service, not self. Nervousness usually comes from ego — “Will they like me?” Instead, ask: “How can I help them?” Also, rehearse like it’s a performance (because it is). Get the muscle memory down so you can be present. And breathe. Seriously. You forget that one and everything else collapses.

What additional resources do you recommend for individuals looking to improve communication skills?

Beyond my book Be a Nerd That Talks Good, I recommend:

• Talk Like TED by Carmine Gallo
• Resonate by Nancy Duarte
• Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (for understanding the psychology behind communication)
• Improv classes — nothing builds confidence like live chaos

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I’d start the “Message Therapy Movement.” Everyone has a message they’re struggling to say — a product, a cause, or even a belief. And too many people think they can just “wing it” or shop it out to an intern or large language model.

If we could help people dig deeper into their “why” and communicate it clearly, I believe we’d cut through so much of today’s noise and division. Clarity is kindness.

How can our readers further follow you online?

You can find me at nerdthattalksgood.com, where I share resources and publish my podcast “Nerds That Talk Good.” Or follow me on LinkedIn under Joel Benge (just look for the Nerd That Talks Good). I also share short message tips and nerdy marketing insights on TikTok at @joelmbenge.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Impactful Communication: Joel Benge Of ‘Nerd That Talks Good’ On 5 Essential Techniques for… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.