High Impact Philanthropy: Kathy Colbenson Of CHRIS 180 On How To Leave A Lasting Legacy With A Successful & Effective Nonprofit Organization
An Interview with Karen Mangia
Listen to the leaders you’ve hired. Listen to your clients. As a leader, you make the best decisions when you receive honest and diverse input. We can work hard to give our clients and your staff what we think they need when they need something else. To meet people where they are, you have to listen to them where they are.
For someone who wants to set aside money to establish a Philanthropic Foundation or Fund, what does it take to make sure your resources are being impactful and truly effective? In this interview series, called “How To Create Philanthropy That Leaves a Lasting Legacy” we are visiting with founders and leaders of Philanthropic Foundations, Charitable Organizations, and Non-Profit Organizations, to talk about the steps they took to create sustainable success.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kathy Colbenson.
Kathy Colbenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 45 years of experience in behavioral health. She has been the President & Chief Executive Officer of CHRIS 180 since 1987. Under her leadership, the organization has become an innovative leader in trauma-informed care, behavioral health and the development of community services that fill gaps in service, increase access and work in partnership with both recipients and service providers.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about a ‘top of mind’ topic. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
Because of my mom’s poor health, I spent a lot of time with my dad when I was young. At the time, he was earning his Ph.D. in Theology at a seminary in Kentucky. My Dad was a brilliant man, a scholar in Hebrew and Greek. He loved to learn and enjoyed teaching, and I was an eager student. He inspired my love of learning and taught me the importance of self-reflection, being an independent thinker, taking responsibility and being kind. Throughout his life, Dad lived his values and took stands from the pulpit on racial justice even when encouraged to be cautious. He insisted that people of all races, sexual orientations and gender identities were welcome in the churches he pastored. Dad taught me to always look for love in what people said and did. He would say that if love is not there, God is not there because God is love. “Love is an action verb, and love demands action” was one of his favorite sayings. He believed everyone is a child of God and must be treated with dignity and respect.
My Dad took the time to explain things happening in the world to me. He taught me about kindness and grace and to always stand up for what is right. Dad was also someone I could count on to give me honest feedback that helped me grow. That’s something I really miss today: the ability to get his feedback to help me improve. The other thing I learned from him was to always have a plan B. He told me I could be and do anything, but he made me take typing in high school so I would always have a job. I took from that to go for my vision but be practical and have a backup plan.
Another formative experience occurred when I was 16. Before schools were truly desegregated in the South, I participated in an exchange program with a local Black high school. I not only witnessed the inequalities of a segregated educational system, but for the first time, I also became aware of my skin color and experienced the privilege that came with it. I walked in on the first day to check in at the office, and everyone talking in the lobby turned, stopped talking and looked at me.
But what really altered my life was when my new Black friend came to my high school. I was welcomed at her school, but her experience was different. People at my school were “polite.” I was so mad because everyone had been genuinely nice and welcoming to me at her school. The response I got from my classmates when I talked to them about the difference was that they were being nice. That experience made me acutely aware of how racism can be disguised as politeness and still be easily communicated. When I apologized to my Black friend, she told me she had expected it and prepared. I realized that the exchange program meant she had tremendous courage while nothing really had been required of me. Treating any person as less than others was definitely not love in action, and I decided then that I would do my part to create change and that I would not be silent. My Dad, of course, totally supported my decision.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? We would love to hear a few stories or examples.
Vision, preparation and persistence.
Having a vision for what the future can be is critical. I thought I wanted to be a therapist in private practice until my job at CHRIS 180. Within three months, I knew that I had found my passion, and it was for the kids and families who were disenfranchised and mistreated. I knew what I wanted to accomplish. And I am stubborn; perhaps a kinder way to say it is that I’m persistent. I have a vision for how to reach the mountain top. It is like hiking. There are switchbacks; if one path doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean another path won’t. I have to try. Sometimes, the timing is a barrier. That doesn’t mean you give up; you just ensure you’re prepared and wait. I wanted to create a counseling center at CHRIS 180 in 1995 because counseling is a means of healing from trauma and prevention. I couldn’t figure out how to financially make it work back then, but I settled on the name — CHRIS Counseling Center — and when the State system and rules changed in 2007, I jumped on it 12 years later.
I am a therapist, and I had a vision for school-based mental health that began when I was in private practice before I joined CHRIS 180. Every child has to go to school, which is the perfect place to catch issues early. CHRIS 180 had to begin counseling services first, and then I had to figure out how to get mental health services in schools. Five years later, we started our school-based mental health program with a charitable donation solicited from a donor with a foundation. We began in two schools and now, thanks to charitable funding and state and local contracts, CHRIS 180 provides school-based mental health services in 81 schools.
So persistence is the thread — the glue needed for success. I don’t believe in luck. I believe in being prepared to take advantage of opportunities when the time is right. Persistence means you don’t give up trying to find a way to achieve your vision. You can always look for opportunities to conduct a pilot. It is a good way to test your vision, improve your methods and prove your vision is worthy of investment. Everything doesn’t work the first time. We learn when we fail. That’s where vision, preparation and persistence come together.
What’s the most interesting discovery you’ve made since you started leading your organization?
I have discovered that I am pretty good at “reading the tea leaves.” I don’t know if it’s a discovery, but I also try to hire to my weaknesses. I think it’s critically important to be self-aware and authentic. I work to surround myself with the most talented people I can find and listen to them. I also encourage taking risks. We learn a lot from what doesn’t work.
One of the most important things I have discovered is that talent is not enough. The most talented person in the world can be toxic and damage culture. As a leader, I have made hiring and coaching mistakes because I was so focused on maximizing talent that I missed toxicity. I am a naturally trusting person, so I have worked hard to be quicker to recognize and respond to eliminate toxicity.
Today, I work to remember that while my compassion and understanding are among my greatest assets, they also can be my greatest liabilities.
Can you please tell our readers more about how you or your organization intends to make a significant social impact?
We believe in human potential and are responsible for providing the opportunity and space to help individuals unlock the potential that slumbers in each of us. Mental health and well-being are core to achieving our mission to heal children, strengthen families and build community. CHRIS 180 provides a space for people to recognize their gifts and strengths and the space for them to accept their whole selves, including their unique challenges. We provide a safe space for processing trauma and challenges so that people have the tools to build resiliency and become free from the constraints that limit their potential. This includes physiological safety as well as emotional safety and encouragement and support. We empower people so they can build on their strengths.
We focus on helping people heal from trauma so they can become their best selves. Healing from trauma cannot happen without acknowledging the reality of a person’s experience as traumatic, so part of what we provide is that essential first step of naming and validating the experience of trauma. We as a society think of trauma in terms of car accidents, abuse, neglect, sudden loss or the sudden death of a loved one. Too often, we don’t think of invisible traumas or the impact of generational trauma. A person can experience trauma from many situations we don’t immediately recognize.
Respecting people also means respecting their choice not to accept the opportunity for healing, even if you offer it to them. If someone doesn’t want to go to therapy or doesn’t want to work through their life experiences, our job becomes building a relationship that keeps the door open. I love to use the word yet. “I know you’re not ready to talk with me yet. You’re not ready to think about this yet.” It’s a way of acknowledging that the door might be open later. That little bit of language is very powerful. People can use language for evil, but we can use it in a supportive way that opens possibilities for healing and offers hope. We meet people where they are and accept them for who they are. Wherever they are, we keep an open door to the path for healing. It’s hard. It can be frustrating, but no matter what, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. The only way to help people change is to accept them for who they are and where they are.
Especially in such a divided society, what CHRIS 180 does is essential. We address root causes and the social determinants of health. We are promoters of hope and healing. CHRIS 180 helps people begin to see their gifts, their strengths and their talents. We listen. We offer acceptance and support. We don’t judge. We ask children, youth, families and communities what they need and want. We let their voices guide us as we walk alongside people. We keep the door open and offer hope while not intervening to prevent natural consequences from providing learning opportunities. We offer tools that help people learn to solve problems and resolve conflicts. They learn how to take care of themselves, breathe, walk away, identify triggers, and recognize and respond in new ways. We know that a person just can’t stop doing something; the behavior must be replaced with another. We offer new and different experiences and opportunities to help people discover their interests, strengths and talents. We are authentic, and we care.
What makes you feel passionate about this cause more than any other?
People are at the core of our future. Every child is born with potential and is eager to learn and grow. I am passionate about helping create a better world by helping people realize their gifts and potential. People will determine the future of our planet, the future of our civilization and the future of all the living things on this planet. We are at a critical juncture, and I believe I am responsible for trying to make a positive difference. I love this beautiful world we live in and seeing people tap into their potential. The world and all living creatures depend on us for their survival. We have progressed so much in science and technology. Still, humans have not progressed in caring for our mental health and well-being as individuals, families, communities, and nations. We have not intentionally ensured that all children have the opportunity to develop compassion, critical thinking skills and the skills needed for emotional regulation and problem solving. We are not addressing the social determinants of health so that everyone is lifted and exposed to opportunity. We are not recognizing the impact of multi-generational trauma or the impact of “othering.” We have the tools we need, and brain and genetic research are underscoring the impact of trauma on physical and mental health and what we can do to promote healing. I am passionate about helping people because I have the knowledge and the tools to make a positive difference that can enrich our lives and help save our world at the same time.
Without naming names, could you share a story about an individual who benefitted from your initiatives?
I have so many stories. A 17-year-old young man who, 36 years ago, came to CHRIS 180’s program for youth aging out of foster care and received the help he needed to recover. He had a very troubled childhood and a significant mental health diagnosis. Counseling and a safe place to live helped him develop the tools and skills to know when to reach out and to accept that medication is needed to stabilize his mood. Fast forward to today. He’s been married for 20-plus years, bought a home and has the tools to manage his diagnosis and life. He has written a book and is a Transformation Coach, helping others and volunteering. He and his wife both speak publicly about mental health. I’m so proud of him, the courage and persistence he has displayed and that he is giving back.
A young woman whom CHRIS 180 helped contacted me last year to inform me that she was promoted to Director of Programs for juvenile offenders in another state’s juvenile justice system. When she was a teen, she was in the Georgia juvenile justice system after being kicked out of her home by her mother because she came out as a lesbian. She lived on the streets and got involved with a gang. CHRIS 180 helped provide her with counseling and a safe place to live. She graduated from high school and went to college. In college, she decided she wanted to help kids like her. She says that, without the help and support of CHRIS 180, she would have been dead or homeless under a bridge. Now, she is working daily to help youth in the juvenile justice system get back on track with their lives. She is incredible! I am so proud of her.
Another woman was the third generation of her family to grow up in foster care. Her childhood was filled with trauma. After leaving foster care, she became homeless with her baby boy and came to CHRIS 180’s apartment complex, where she stabilized, did well, went to therapy and got a job. She moved out independently, and CHRIS 180 continues to provide a consistent, caring relationship with her and her children. She works hard to support her family despite difficult circumstances with limited resources. She has a job and two kids and has reached out to obtain counseling for her son, who just entered high school, to help him stay on track. Life is difficult for her as she has medical conditions and struggles financially. But she is using the tools she has learned, reaching out for advice and help and managing her mental health diagnosis and medical issues while being a good Mom to her children. I am so proud of her and her advocacy for her and her family’s needs.
A shy young man experienced homelessness with his mentally ill mother and, as a teen, came into one of our group homes for youth with mental health issues. He graduated from high school, went to college and for the past 15 years, he has been working at a major institution providing IT support to executives. He told me he would never have graduated from high school or made it into college without CHRIS 180. Today, he has his own apartment in a high-rise and maintains a relationship with his mother and other family members. He is a donor to CHRIS 180.
Children’s courage, ability and resilience prove daily that, given the right help, support and tools to navigate life’s challenges, they can heal and contribute positively. I couldn’t be more proud of the transformative impact CHRIS 180 has.
We all want to help and to live a life of purpose. What are three actions anyone could take to help address the root cause of the problem you’re trying to solve?
If we want to make the world a safe place for children and people in general to realize their potential, we must take specific actions. Each of us can do our part within our own spheres of influence. We need to take a long view and not give up. Change takes time; generations, in fact.
First, we can be role models for how to live an authentic life and treat ourselves and others as persons of dignity and worth, embracing people regardless of their age, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, orientation, poverty or wealth. We can role model kindness toward ourselves and others. We can remember that every person has a story and every life has a context that we know nothing about and not be so quick to judge. We can focus on our own thoughts, behavior and personal growth. We can accept and honor our feelings, take responsibility for our choices and hold ourselves accountable. We can seek the truth and acknowledge the wrongs we have done to each other individually and over generations. Here, I am thinking about the evils of slavery and how Native Americans were dehumanized and treated. Embracing the truth of our history will not harm us or our children. Healing for everyone begins with acknowledgment, and we can each let it begin with us.
Secondly, we can get to know people with different life experiences and cultures and speak up, advocate and vote. There is not one root cause and there is no silver bullet. We can try to get to know people different from us and listen to their hopes, dreams and struggles. We can have the courage to speak up and vote. Speaking up is required to protect the dignity and worth of all persons. Speaking up and voting is required to ensure that each person’s basic human needs are met, and that each person has access and opportunity to receive essentials like food, physical and mental healthcare, education and social and emotional learning. Speaking up is required to eliminate the stigma and shame associated with mental health and substance use disorders. It provides a pathway to getting help to address trauma so that suffering people can feel free to ask for help without fearing judgment. Speaking up is required to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to develop the tools they need to navigate life’s challenges, regulate their emotions (calm themselves down) and solve problems. We are more likely to speak up if we have gotten to know people outside our circle. There are so many wonderful, kind and good-hearted people who are misunderstood.
Third, we can put our money — our time, talent and treasure- to work. The way to reach beyond our sphere of influence is to donate. Not everyone has the talent or temperament to do the work of a therapist, a life coach, a violence interrupter or a crisis worker. CHRIS 180’s ability to address root causes and create positive change is only limited by our resources. Our mission is accomplished through a highly trained, passionate workforce that deserves compensation for their hard work and sometimes even risking their lives to help others. You can research the stewardship of nonprofits and give your time, talent and money to support their work. I chose to donate 10% of my income to support the work of CHRIS 180 because I believe in what we do.
Based on your experience, what are the “5 Things You Need To Create A Successful & Effective Nonprofit That Leaves A Lasting Legacy?”
- You need COMMITMENT TO THE MISSION AND VISION. You must put the mission and vision of the organization first. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about your career or ability to move up. Still, it does mean that you are willing to listen to the voices of those you serve, listen to staff, make hard decisions, prioritize being a good steward of donor and taxpayer investments, take educated risks and understand that being liked is less important than doing the right thing for the organization.
Everything you do and every decision you make must be tested against whether or not it will advance the mission. As an organization grows, the leader has to think more and more about setting precedents and the long-term impact of decisions. You can’t succeed without taking risks. But risks must be taken with eyes wide open, and you must be willing to say you made a mistake. CHRIS 180 took a risk when we stepped out and created Summit Trail Apartments, a permanent supportive housing program for single and parenting youth aging out of foster care and/or experiencing homelessness. We had a well-thought-out plan and convinced local foundations to support us in doing something we had never done before, and it has proven highly successful. We wanted to open a thrift shop to provide youth jobs and job training and create more volunteer opportunities. We researched the idea and chose not to pursue this dream after we evaluated every aspect of the venture. Alignment to the mission was strong for the apartment complex. The long-term benefit to our mission and values was not as strong for the thrift shop.
2. You must work to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH STRONG COLLABORATIVE LEADERS who are smarter than you are in their areas of expertise. To build a strong organization, you need people who will push back on your ideas and tell you what they think. The last thing I want is a “yes” person. I want leaders and employees who are strategic thinkers and team players who prioritize the mission, who will share their ideas and perspectives, take full responsibility for their decisions and actions, are willing to take risks, learn from failure, and dare to speak their truth.
A growing organization often outgrows the team that helped the organization succeed. This has perhaps been the hardest thing for me. The leader must make hard decisions about the skills and attributes of leaders that the organization needs to thrive and be willing to make changes. The leader must seek out a team of strong, strategic leaders who put mission first and are team players. Many years ago, I unsuccessfully worked to convince the leader of our accounting department that we needed to purchase and use a financial management software system. I eventually decided to let a wonderful, hard-working person move on. At the other end of the spectrum are the talented individuals who are not team players, are toxic and whose actions are inconsistent with their words. In the past, I waited too long to terminate the employment of more than one person who was toxic and had to spend time and energy facilitating recovery. What I learned is to focus on identifying actions that demonstrate commitment to CHRIS 180’s mission and values, strategic decision-making, commitment to personal growth and self-reflection, a work style of inclusion, collaboration and teamwork, acceptance of personal responsibility, eagerness to share ideas and take/lead initiatives in addition to the experience we are looking for. We also used panel interviews with other leaders and implemented a positive onboarding process and experience to set the tone immediately for inclusiveness, teamwork and collaboration.
3. LISTEN. Listen to the leaders you’ve hired. Listen to your clients. As a leader, you make the best decisions when you receive honest and diverse input. We can work hard to give our clients and your staff what we think they need when they need something else. To meet people where they are, you have to listen to them where they are.
We got a referral about possible abuse and neglect because the children consistently came to school in dirty clothes and appeared distressed, so our team assessed the situation. We met with the family and asked what they wanted help with and what success would look like. We discovered the family was struggling and didn’t have access to a washing machine and dryer. We were able to get them donated. And when our maintenance man went to install them, we discovered that the family didn’t have a hot water heater either. Of course, the kids were going to school dirty. What looked like abuse or neglect from the outside was related to poverty. Helping the family get what they needed built trust and opened the door to helping the children and family through counseling and coaching so that they were empowered to move forward positively and a referral of the children to foster care was averted.
Mechanisms or strategies to listen to these voices are critical. You need people that don’t just check the boxes but listen to what’s being said. That means you need to teach people to listen to what is said and listen for what is not said. CHRIS 180 does surveys, and in some of our community programs, the supervisor calls families just to check in. We are also exploring different mechanisms. Thanks to a funder, we participated in Listen4Good and piloted a survey methodology in one of our counseling centers. In 2024, we will be expanding our work with Listen4Good and collecting data that will help us continue to make improvements in listening.
As an organization, we use “skip-level” meetings and surveys to listen to employees’ voices. In skip-level meetings, supervisors meet with employees who are not direct reports and ask for feedback about how things are going in a confidential 1-on-1 conversation where employees can share how they’re doing, how they’re feeling and what help they need. One of the questions I like to ask is: What would you pay attention to (or do) if you were in my position? Because we are a large organization, I sometimes have small group skip-level meetings (without supervisors present) as an open forum for discussion and ideas. We have found these meetings to be extremely useful. These meetings can open the door for a conversation in which you can listen and discuss. Closing the loop and what may feel like overcommunication are critical listening components.
4. BOARD RELATIONSHIPS, COMMUNICATION AND FEEDBACK are critical. Build relationships and actively engage in the board selection and leadership process to secure mission-focused talent and expertise you could never afford otherwise. You must look for strong people who bring their talent to the organization, are willing to offer expertise and coaching in the interest of the organization’s success and respect the line between management and governance. Those lines can get blurred when people want to help, so having those boundaries is important. During my career, I have gone to board members for honest perspectives and coaching on how to protect the organization in the best ways.
A former board chair suggested including an executive session at the end of every meeting with a debrief on any issues with the CEO afterward. Another former board chair suggested conducting skip-level meetings and a new leader assimilation process. More than one board chair has worked with me on succession planning. An HR Committee Chair and member worked with me to make leadership changes that improved and protected the organization. I have requested and received honest feedback many times from board members and board leaders. One board chair would say, “This is my perspective, but it’s your decision.”
5. Finally, you must SET ASIDE TIME TO STEP BACK AND THINK STRATEGICALLY. As the leader, you must have time to think and be strategic about the external and internal environment. Like a basketball team, you’re the coach and call the plays. As a leader, sometimes you must acknowledge that you didn’t call the best play. It’s OK to say you were wrong and learn to go forward from there.
I have developed several strategies to ensure that I monitor the external operating environment and that help me step back to think. I attend community leadership meetings that may, on the surface, look unrelated to the work of CHRIS 180. Sometimes, I am the only nonprofit executive in the room listening to an economist, attending a meeting at the Federal Reserve or sitting in a Chamber of Commerce meeting. I read and volunteer at events every year to build community relationships. Personally, I spend time with my dogs, work in the yard and engage in projects. Most years, I take a hiking vacation in a National Park or places that really take me back to nature. And, short of getting away, I have a meditation practice that has helped me develop the habit of pausing and recognizing when I need to step away at the moment. This has been invaluable.
How has the pandemic changed your definition of success?
We all shared the collective trauma that was the pandemic. The pandemic provided a window of opportunity to help people understand that trauma is not only physical but also psychological. Everyone lived through that event, felt how difficult it was on a visceral level and was stirred up by feelings — vaccines, having to wear a mask, what I can and can’t do, fear of losing relatives. The traumas of uncertainty, fear and loss happened to each of us. We lost control, and we experienced anger and fear. Georgia was the fifth-highest state for children losing a parent or caregiver during COVID-19. Children, adults and families experienced many traumatic experiences during COVID that must be acknowledged and unpacked.
While the pandemic didn’t change my definition of success, it did create new wounds we need to work to heal. It highlighted significant unmet societal needs. And it increased the public’s understanding of trauma and the importance of addressing mental health needs.
How do you get inspired after an inevitable setback?
One of the things I am grateful to my dad for is a piece of wisdom: he shared with me, “God is big enough to take your anger.” I let myself go through all those feelings and then find ways to restore myself — I walk in the woods, talk to people who triumphed or struggled and remind myself of that higher purpose. Then, I begin to analyze possible reasons for a setback and think creatively about what we can learn about how to better achieve our mission.
I breathe. I focus on the importance of our mission. And while I know we can’t meet all the needs that exist in the world, I remember the fact that CHRIS 180 does save and restore lives. I think of specific people whose lives have been changed and the positive impact they now have in our communities. I focus on what I can do and what CHRIS 180 can do. I spend time with the people we serve. I remind myself of the thousands of people who CHRIS 180 has helped. I remember their courage and resilience. They are really the ones who inspire me.
We are very blessed that very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world who you would like to talk to, to share the idea behind your non-profit? He, she, or they might just see this, especially if we tag them.
Our impact is only limited by our resources, so I would love to talk with anyone interested. MacKenzie Scott comes to mind because I can’t think of a better investment that any donor could make than in the work of CHRIS 180.
You’re doing important work. How can our readers follow your progress online?
Readers can read our blog and press releases at www.chris180.org. They can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.
Thank you for a meaningful conversation. We wish you continued success with your mission.
About The Interviewer: Karen Mangia is one of the most sought-after keynote speakers in the world, sharing her thought leadership with over 10,000 organizations during the course of her career. As Vice President of Customer and Market Insights at Salesforce, she helps individuals and organizations define, design and deliver the future. Discover her proven strategies to access your own success in her fourth book Success from Anywhere and by connecting with her on LinkedIn and Twitter.
High Impact Philanthropy: Kathy Colbenson Of CHRIS 180 On How To Leave A Lasting Legacy With A… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.