Hailey Handler Of KAIA: Here Are The Things That Happened in My Childhood That Impact How I Lead Today
An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti
Awareness: I believe so much in cultivating awareness. Personal awareness and awareness of one’s surroundings and of others. Awareness has really helped me ground and understand what directions are appropriate for me to pivot toward as a founder. The awareness that I’m creating something that is meant to serve women, and not what I solely as an individual hope to see has been important.
In this introspective and reflective series, we would like to explore the intricate web of experiences that form the leaders of today. Childhood, being the foundational stage of our lives, undeniably has a profound impact on our development and the leadership styles we adopt as adults. Be it a lesson learned from a parent, a childhood hobby that cultivated discipline, an early failure that fostered resilience, or even a book that opened their minds to vast possibilities; leaders often have deep-seated childhood experiences that echo in their leadership narratives today. For this interview series, we are talking to seasoned leaders across various industries who share personal anecdotes and lessons from their childhood that have sculpted their leadership philosophies today. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Hailey Handler.
Hailey Handler is the youngest emerging trailblazer in the realm of crowdfunding. Having set her sights on horizons far and wide from the time she was a little girl, Hailey left the United States one month after graduating high school for Cairo, Egypt. After spending a life changing year in the Middle East living with local Egyptians, Hailey then moved to Paris, France where she navigated episodic and hidden homeless while endeavoring to earn her degrees. Despite navigating homelessness and often without food or access to enough change to pay for metro tickets to her classes, Hailey managed to earn her Bsc. and MBA while also interning and volunteering in multiple internationals cities, such as: London, Istanbul, Shanghai, and Addis Ababa. In addition to spending extended periods of time with locals in many of the almost 50 countries she’s visited. After realizing that the traditional corporate route would never lead to her version of happiness, Hailey let go of her aspiration of becoming an energy consultant in Hong Kong and spent the last six years periodically working with plant medicines in Peru. It was there that Hailey could refine her calling to create a platform that supported women financially. Hailey is now preparing to launch her platform, KAIA. A crowdfunding platform that facilitates inclusive, accessible, and wide-scale funding opportunities for women that exist outside of the confines of traditional financial institutions. Hailey is a nomadic founder leading her platform with the deepest reverence for women as masterful creators.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
There were many moving parts throughout the years that in retrospect completely blow me away. Firstly, the year I lived in Egypt was a truly monumental one. And one of the experiences that was birthed from that time was the acute awareness of my womanhood. As an eighteen-year-old fresh out of high school, I had no idea how to relate to this new sense of self-awareness. Or how the outer world experienced me existing in a female body. But I understood intuitively that it was important.
Years later, and shortly after I began my MBA in Energy and Sustainable Development Management, I realized that I really didn’t want to work for an energy company as a consultant. During that time, I had met one of my closest friends, Dr. Sonita Moss, who completely changed my life by introducing me to social justice issues, feminism, and the practice of self-introspection. Early in the academic year I was airing out my grievances about this new revelation of not wanting to be an energy consultant. It was then that Sonita turned to me and asked me why don’t I create my own company? In that moment I laughed because it sounded so outlandish. Despite being enormously privileged in all the ways that I am belonging to my demographic, starting a business never felt culturally viable for me as a young woman. I had believed the lie that my career prospects where limited to working my way up the corporate ladder, playing the boys game, and I was lucky if I could even do that.
But following my initial feelings in response to her suggestion was also the immediate understanding within myself that I wanted to work with women and money. It plagued me for a few weeks because I carried around so much trauma from my early years in math classes. While studying for my Bsc. I spent an entire year grieving the fact that I could never be a commodities trader because my command of math just wasn’t up to par. So, the whole money thing didn’t make sense to me. I sat on this idea for the next five years. Throughout those years I was blessed to meet, work for, support, and befriend incredibly inspiring women who were either struggling to secure funding, or who told me outright that they would never endeavor to create a business because, well… money. I spent years traveling to and from Peru, working with plant medicines and praying every time that my dream to create a platform to support women could become clearer to me. And then it was over the summer of 2022 after spending several weeks in the throes of being really unwell in Asia, that I flew to Australia where my mother is from to recover at my grandparents’ house.
One morning while I was researching business funding options I stumbled across crowdfunding. Just the word. And immediately I knew that was it. A crowdfunding platform for women. It made absolute sense as I had aspired to create a funding platform that was built on the foundation of community. Something that- without leaning too much into to the confines of the traditional masculine/feminine binary- was so feminine in nature. Women have historically gathered in community, for their communities. And creating a culture within a funding community that celebrates and supports female creators was exactly what I had been dreaming of building.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
KAIA is a loose translation for “soul” in the Shipibo language (indigenous Amazonian group whom I’ve had the privilege of working with). The knowledge that women’s ability to interlace soul into all that we do is something that is woven into every stitch of the tapestry that is the platform. KAIA has been built with the deepest reverence for female creators. With a recognition that women’s visions are not indulgent, but urgent. Soul, reverence, love- there has never been a funding entity that has been built on these foundations. The world of funding has historically existed within the boundaries of what is categorically hypermasculine. KAIA is a platform that facilitates serious funding opportunities for women by means of community crowdfunding. All within a space that feels accessible, inclusive, and intimate. I understand the importance of building a digital space that feels like the stepping into a world that female founders can relate to. Where they feel seen and valued. From the ethos all the way to design, KAIA looks and feels completely different from other crowdfunding spaces.
Women are powerful innovators. When we see an industry being redefined and molded into something that aligns with what we want to see in the world, that’s also heart centered? Many of us are drawn to it. Because although we’re constantly exposed to availability bias (the psychological experience of bearing witness to something and then believing that because we can readily picture it, that there must be more examples of that of which we’ve witnessed), many founders know that a female-led company reaching unicorn status is rare. So, when a new entity that can support women- in at least alleviating the potentially debilitating stress of obtaining sufficient funding emerges- it matters. It’s been really encouraging to have spoken to so many female founders and to watch their faces light up when I’ve introduced KAIA to them. And also speaking to female angel investors and serial entrepreneurs who understand what I’m building and have asked how they can support. I’m a female founder who understands the devastation of being confronted with the prospect of not being able to build my dream because of funding scarcity. I’m building what I want to see in the world.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Without a doubt resilience, courage, and being purpose driven.
I’ve gone through so many ego deaths over the years. And definitely since building KAIA. I had an inkling that rejection would be a substantial part of this experience, but I didn’t realize that it is absolutely intrinsic. Starting a business is terrifying. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve sat up against a cold wall in tears. Or how many times overwhelm has stopped me literally breathless in my tracks. But the practice of returning to the unwavering faith I have that I am meant to support women obtain business funding through my own creation has sustained me. In the early days when I was searching for my development team, I genuinely felt afraid to get out of bed some mornings. But those mornings of facing my fears compacted into a resilience that is so essential if you’re going to be founding a business. I remind myself often that so much has been lost to the world by women not having access to funding. And so, no matter what, knowing that I am working in the effort to support other women for a cause so much bigger than myself is motivating. I have this dream of walking through international cities and seeing billboards of female-led companies that obtained their initial funding on KAIA. Or of founders being interviewed by major media outlets and knowing that they were able to scale because of what they raised on KAIA. I’ve never lost sight of my purpose. I want to see women thrive.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
I think one of the most difficult decisions was to decide to not seek external funding- VC specifically. Which was gut wrenching because I’ve bootstrapped this entire time, entirely alone. But after being advised by multiple women in my community, I decided to continue to go forward this way. The possibility of also having to compromise KAIA’s ethos in any way was also out of the question. Even though this route is incredibly challenging, I’m confident that it’s been the right decision. Plus, I know now that because I’m a first time founder who doesn’t have an affluent support network, I wouldn’t likely secure VC anyway.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a simple definition. How do you personally define “leadership?”
When I think of leadership, I think of a quote by 6th century philosopher Lao Tzu: “Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say ‘We have done this ourselves.’”
I think being a catalyst who reminds others of their capabilities, of their power, that helps them to see who they already are, and reminds them of the mountains that they can move; that’s leadership to me. At least the kind of leadership I want to embody. I read a fantastic book by Jocelyn Davis called “The Art of Quiet Influence” and it completely reframed my perspective on leadership. It really resonated with my own belief that quiet influence is truly the most powerful.
Can you recall an experience from your childhood where you felt truly empowered? How does that moment inform your leadership style today?
What comes to mind is a scene that makes me feel empowered every time I center my thoughts on it. I was en route to visit my family in Australia one year; I must have been seven or eight years old. And I remember looking down at the lights of Tokyo glittering from the plane window. That experience was a deeply spiritual one for little me. It’s difficult to articulate, but in that moment the intuitive understanding that the world was enthralling, exciting, and waiting for me was so empowering. Being fully present in the experience of total awe as a little person and knowing it. That moment changed me forever. There have been times in my adulthood when I’ve felt really devastated and afraid; afraid of the uncertainty of my future, the knowing that so little is ever certain. But then I remembered that moment and the depth of truth that was so palpable within me.
That moment reminds me that each and every one of us are living complex, colorful, and immensely important lives. Encouraging people to explore their visions, what makes them unique as individuals, and to build an entity that creates space for them to be seen in their authenticity, informs me constantly as a founder. I like to think my style of leadership is in the same vein as my favorite Ram Dass quote: “We’re all just walking each other home.”
Were there any role models in your early years who left a lasting impression on you? How has their influence manifested in your approach to leadership?
No one impacted me or molded my sense of self like my mother did. And although my childhood was incredibly tumultuous, I often viewed my mother across a divine of what felt like my world into her angelic one. I often experienced her as otherworldly. My sister and I were absolutely convinced she was made up of something celestial. Even when the realities of life as a single mother punctuated our day-to-day. I don’t want to give the impression that I wasn’t close with my father, because of everyone I’ve ever known I feel like if there’s such a thing as “having a person” he was mine. But for a chunk of my childhood my mother worked three jobs in order to put food on the table. And yet, she always managed to be there in the morning to kiss us goodbye before school, and there to make dinner for us before she worked the entire night through.
Seeing my mother navigate single motherhood absolutely informed my understanding of the world, and how I needed to show up in it. Including my approach to leadership. I’ve always known that confronting adversity head on is imperative- and it really has been along the founder’s journey. Historically, I’ve always understood that no one is going to work as hard for my dreams as I will. That no one is going to hand anything to me. This understanding has definitely influenced my approach to leadership. And with that being said, although hard work reaps so much, the endless pursuit of striving alone can be lonely. My approach to leadership reminds me often that creating a platform that can makes others feel supported as they endeavor towards their dreams matters. It’s almost impossible to ignore that the internet specifically is celebrating an emerging culture of not wanting to work so hard to manifest our dreams. And I get it completely. Hustle culture is toxic. But the truth is, rarely does anything just manifest out of thin air. So, by creating a digital steppingstone in the world feels like a concerted effort with my team to constructively bridge gaps so women can at least feel more supported.
Many of us had a favorite book or story as a child. Is there a narrative that you were drawn to, and do you see its themes reflecting in your leadership journey?
I was an avid reader as a child and am a voracious reader as an adult. And yet the story that impacted me the absolute most as a child was Sofia Coppola’s 2003 film Lost in Translation. I was nine years old when it released. I would watch it on a portable DVD player I hid under my blankets every night for an entire year straight. And often in tears. Tears of the deepest longing, of feeling for the first time in my life… seen somehow. I was a highly sensitive and creative child, but I repressed all of it. I felt like I had to. In turn I cultivated a very vivid inner world. I longed for the quirkiness and intimacy that peppered every scene of Lost in Translation. I literally wanted to live inside of that movie. It was more than just a movie to me. In fact, I don’t watch it often because it’s so intense to revisit that world and the memories it brings up from my childhood.
The narrative that I really took away from it was that the world was peppered with eclectic intricate wonders worth striving to witness. That so little is black and white and that doesn’t make those things wrong. That that’s also worth exploring for the time that I’m here, even if I may not always come to make sense of my experiences. I think many themes of those narratives reflect upon my leadership journey most specifically in my commitment to create that which feels unconventional while also being accessible and intimate.
Many leaders find that their greatest strengths arise from overcoming adversity. Can you share an experience from your early life that was difficult at the time, but you find still lingers in your thoughts and informs your actions today?
There’s so much I could share here but I’ll keep it shorter than not! As a teenager I was confronted with a decision that really determined the trajectory for the rest of my life. I’m sorry that sounds cryptic, but the essence of that experience lingered with me ever since. Within the first three weeks of moving to Paris when I was nineteen, I was navigating the trauma of episodic and hidden homelessness. I was hungry often and eating a meal was really dependent upon the sympathies of others. At one point I had to steal cups of rice from a huge rice bag one of my employer’s had in her kitchen. An employer who illegally wasn’t paying or feeding me (au pair basis) but let me sleep in her guest room for a few months in exchange for caring for her son. I lived off of rice for months. I also had not a single centime (French change) to my name within three weeks after moving to Paris. For over a year I couldn’t afford to pay the 1.50EUR to catch the metro to my classes. I’d often jump over the turnstile and pray that I didn’t encounter metro controllers. I remember the times I spent scoping out the area around my university to determine which park bench I would sleep on that night, and where I could hide my suitcase. I went through all the mental gymnastics of how I would keep myself safe, and how long I could linger in the entryways of bars and hotels to keep warm without looking too suspect. That time of my life was a total nightmare. I was sick with anxiety every day.
And yet I was absolutely determined to build my life in Paris. I remembered the desperation I felt to leave the Midwest growing up. The devotion I always had to make something of my life that I was proud of. That made up for all the time I longed to be elsewhere as a child. And so, despite so much adversity, I made it work. My life in Paris was chaotic and unstable, but I lived there for 6.5 years and completed two degrees. Those years linger in my thoughts often, in part because I know I haven’t processed the shock of them, but also because that time is living proof that when I set my mind to something- it’s getting done. I’ve always been inclined in that way. But that time informs me of what I also no longer want to experience when I’m working toward my aspirations; that being fear, struggle, strife, and overwhelm.
Looking back at your childhood, are there particular ‘first-time’ experiences — like your first triumph, your initial setback, or your inaugural leadership responsibility — that you believe were pivotal in molding your leadership ethos?”
As a child it really brought me a sense of fulfillment to support my little sister. To feel like I had a responsibility in making her feel safe and reassured. I think this really molded my leadership ethos to be that built on the foundation of a desire to support others. It’s always felt incredibly fulfilling for me to feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself. As a leader I never lose sight of the value of caring for other’s so they can feel seen, supported, and empowered to unapologetically assume their strengths.
From your personal experiences and reflections, what are the ‘5 Pillars of Effective Leadership’ you believe in?
1 . Purpose Driven: Purpose is essential. It’s a touchstone and a buoy. Purpose has guided me through the stormiest times while building KAIA. In May/June of this year I was in Namibia, staying on a property on the edge of the Namib Desert with no phone service, very limited Wi-Fi, and no electricity in my little house. But I had a call set up with a lawyer and angel investor who I had hoped so much to hire as my new legal representative. I walked to the main house on the property and managed to connect to relatively stable W-Fi. I was over the moon to hear that this woman loved my idea and was happy to represent me. But she quoted me legal fees north of $20K USD. In that moment I was completely at a loss. I had been searching for a new lawyer for months, and with each phone call, the quotes left me feeling sick. I took the dogs I was caring for out into the desert and talked to the sky for a long time. At that point I was so exhausted and so overwhelmed that I was ready to accept that I just couldn’t go on with KAIA. But then I remembered my purpose. How I am devoted to making these experiences, just like that one I was going through, less and less common for female founders. By creating a funding platform that facilitated funding opportunities for women just like me. I had assumed after the phone call that that night that I would feel defeated, but I was completely wired with purpose. I barely slept. I didn’t know how, but I knew that somehow, I was going to find a legal team who could accommodate my budget and help me. And the next morning, that’s exactly what I did. I went on to hire my incredible all female legal team who accommodated my budget and supported me to officially legitimize KAIA legally. Purpose is key.
2 . Awareness: I believe so much in cultivating awareness. Personal awareness and awareness of one’s surroundings and of others. Awareness has really helped me ground and understand what directions are appropriate for me to pivot toward as a founder. The awareness that I’m creating something that is meant to serve women, and not what I solely as an individual hope to see has been important.
3 . Accountability: Accountability is a powerful teacher. Although it isn’t always comfortable to hold oneself accountable, it’s expands us enormously as people. In truth, because I’m a sole founder pretty much everything I do is an invitation for me to hold myself accountable. In the early days of development there was an issue on my end that delayed my developers. I felt terrible. They’re located in parts of Europe and Asia and at the time I was in Australia, and so with the time difference live communication was sometimes challenging to orchestrate. The only thing I knew how to do was hold myself accountable. To apologize and explain why the issue had happened and what I was doing to actively rectify it. They definitely woke up to a barrage of voice messages, but they were grateful to have been kept updated. We went on to build a really sweet relationship. They’ve been really enthusiastic about KAIA and along the way would reassure me that they were building the most beautiful platform possible because they loved the energy of the project. I feel like holding myself accountable for everything has contributed to us being able to cultivate a really great professional relationship. I’m so grateful for them and my sweet designer.
4 . Adaptability: There are moving parts that are constantly morphing into shapes and colors you have never seen before when building a business. Being able to adapt to these natural shifts is so important. To not be too rooted within the confines of one singular vision of how you see your business unfolding. I am dedicated to maintaining a crowdfunding platform that serves women to the utmost. I’ve said it this entire time, in the future should there emerge a more innovative means of funding that integrates community, inclusivity, and accessibility, then I would be open to pivoting. I’m a double Pisces so having water as my element has always allowed me to see the value in being adaptable. To embrace and celebrate change.
5 . Compassion: Businesses thrive because humans are driving those businesses. Regardless of the industry or sector. Having compassion for others, for their plights, for their vulnerabilities, and never losing sight that people are not numbers on a spreadsheet, is essential. Compassion has really propelled me along the founder’s journey. Having compassion specifically for women who have been historically underserved in the realm of business funding has created portals for me to really refine my vision and compassionately seek ways to constructively support female founders. I spoke to a beautiful Spanish-born London based founder last fall. She’s built a stunning jewelry company and is now seeking to connect with indigenous women in the Peruvian Andes by creating opportunities for them to make jewelry for her studio. But after COVID, the financial constraints of just living costs alone in London have been jarring. I was overwhelmed with resonance, as well as compassion. I am familiar with the pain of wanting to better the tumultuous world we’re living in for women. I believe that having compassion for the people we’re connecting with through our businesses is a distinguishing factor. People can feel when a company is interested in only making profit and lacks compassion for their needs.
In your role as a leader, what thoughts or concerns keep you awake at night? How do these reflections guide your decisions and leadership?
I often think about what I can do further to create the most optimal funding platform for women. I think about how I can make it more sophisticated, more exciting, more functional. I want to serve female founders by creating the most efficient and beautiful space for them. These reflections guide everything that I do as KAIA’s founder. First and foremost, it’s about building a space that truly serves the needs and desires of female creators.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Without a question of a doubt it would be a plant medicine movement. If every single person in the world could be compassionately integrated into a space where they could experience the healing powers of plants, I am convinced the world would be a better place. Plant medicine is also so powerful because it isn’t centered upon one ideology or one person or group alone. It allows for individuals to identify what is true for them. Not their peers, their family, their government, but for them. I wouldn’t want to imagine who I would be without having worked with plants. It’s a gift and a movement I would love to bring to every single human on this planet.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
For founders and those looking to support female founders (everyone is welcome to join the community) you can visit kaiawomen.net
For information about KAIA and funding you can follow on IG: @kaiawomen
And to follow me and read essays that I’m soon to publish, you can follow me at @haileymar___ (three underscores)
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. It’s been an honor to delve into the roots of your leadership journey, and we are grateful for the wisdom you’ve shared.
About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.
Hailey Handler Of KAIA: Here Are The Things That Happened in My Childhood That Impact How I Lead… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.