An Interview With Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Don’t be afraid of challenges. For instance, when I got divorced, I had to sell my house because I couldn’t afford to buy it from my ex at the time. As it happens, a couple of years later, after I had started my business, I found out my house was going to be put on the market and I ended up buying it back. It was a big undertaking, but I was willing to take the risk.
Growth is an essential part of life, both personally and professionally. Every day presents an opportunity to learn, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. But how do we seize these opportunities? How do successful writers, leaders, and influencers ensure they are constantly growing and improving? What daily habits, practices, or mindsets contribute to their continual growth? In this interview series, we would like to talk to authors, leaders, influencers, and anyone who is an authority about “What We Can Do To Grow Every Day”. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Carol Hoenig.
Carol Hoenig is the author of Without Grace, Of Little Faith and The Author’s Guide to Planning Book Events. She is President of Carol Hoenig Publishing Consultant, co-owner of On the Road Book Events and co-podcaster on Wildflowers Podcast: Books, Booze and Banter. You may find out more about her at Carolhoenig.com.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I am originally from an extremely small town in upstate NY, called Churubusco. (Pronounced chair-a-bus-co)
I always yearned for culture and the only access I had to books was when school was in session. To keep myself entertained, I made up my own stories. I was thrilled when my parents bought me a Smith & Corona typewriter when I was about thirteen years old.
When I was twenty I moved to Long Island and eventually got a job working for Borders Books & Music based out of Park Avenue in Manhattan. (I was in my glory!)
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I worked for Borders Books & Music for about 11 years. They were struggling and eliminated my department so the day I was let go, I started my own business as a publishing consultant, which was only a few short months after I bought my own house. As a publishing consultant, I wore many different hats. I did and still do writing, editing, and publicity. Then in 2016, along with a friend, we opened a bookstore on Long Island. Unfortunately, in 2020, we had to close it since we just couldn’t survive.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Personal Growth. To make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Personal Growth” mean to you?
Personal growth for me is doing what satisfies and inspires me. It’s a matter of expanding my horizons and not being afraid to take chances — like starting my own business not long after buying my own home and then, eventually, opening a bookstore on Long Island!
Why do you believe that it’s important to commit to growing every day?
Similar to plants, if you don’t grow, you die. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. There’s so much to do in this very short life we have on earth that not growing is not an option for me.
What are the key upsides for those who mindfully engage in a journey of personal evolution?
You become more compassionate and empathetic toward others. You start seeing that the world has so much to offer.
When we stop evolving in intentional ways, what do you think are the biggest downsides?
Our minds close and we become stagnant.
What specific practices, if any, do you have in place to ensure that you don’t become stagnant in life?
I keep busy in both my personal and professional life. Over a year ago, two friends and I started doing a podcast titled Wildflowers Podcast: Books, Booze and Banter that is on the YouTube channel. We do it out of my home and have done 83 podcasts so far. It’s not professional by any stretch of the imagination, but we have a good time and do have some subscribers. Also, my friend with whom I opened and closed the bookstore, started a business titled On the Road Book Events where we do offsites for authors by selling their books. In addition, I often interview the authors for magazines I write for and for the events.
Is there any particular area of your life where you are most committed to growth (e.g., spiritually, professionally, socially, internally, relationally)? Yes, my writing career. I have a third novel, “Before She Was A Finley” that is being published on September 10 and I am determined to get as much attention for it as possible, even with the competition that is “out there.” But it doesn’t end there, since I have two other novels in the works.
If you could offer five tips to readers on how to stimulate and perpetuate self-growth, what would they be?
- Don’t be afraid of challenges. For instance, when I got divorced, I had to sell my house because I couldn’t afford to buy it from my ex at the time. As it happens, a couple of years later, after I had started my business, I found out my house was going to be put on the market and I ended up buying it back. It was a big undertaking, but I was willing to take the risk.
- Consider doing something out of your comfort zone. When I was living and working on Long Island, an opportunity came along for a job in Manhattan that meant working closely with big name publishers and their authors. This meant having to commute and become familiar with the city. I was originally from a very small town in Upstate NY, so I could have talked myself out of it and stayed working on Long Island. However, I applied for the job and got it and loved being in the city for both work and fun!
- Don’t let others tell you who you are. Avoid phrases like, “We never did that before.” Or “You can’t do that.” I had someone tell me that when I was considering working in the city, but I didn’t let them tell me who I was.
- Join organizations. Over the years, I participated in a number of organizations. Presently, I am on the board of the Women’s Media Group. I’ve been a member for several years and when I was asked to join the board on the fundraising committee, I thought about it for perhaps a half hour and then said, “Yes,” even though I wasn’t sure about fundraising. Still, I thought it would be a good experience.
- Don’t wait for others to participate in something you’d like to do. When I wanted to go to London just after I got divorced, I didn’t wait for friends to be able to join me, but I booked the trip myself and had such a wonderful time. When I was dining alone, I had my journal and would write about the experiences I was having. (Also, don’t be afraid to dine alone!)
What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck and unsure of how to start their personal growth journey? Take that 1st step and don’t listen to the doubts you are having.
Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that have significantly contributed to your personal growth? I would say the books that I have written. When I was younger, I never dared tell people I was a writer since I felt that was putting me in the same category as “real writers.” And how dare I! Then, when I started to say I was working on a novel, I would get beet red. Now, after having written and published several books, that is a thing of the past. So my books that I’ve written have contributed to my personal growth.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Oh goodness, that is a tough one. Not sure if this is what you’re asking, but I also have 3 rescue dogs and feel very strongly about “adopt don’t shop.” I used to foster many dogs to get them into loving homes, but now I end up doing a lot of dog sitting for others. ANYWAY, the movement I would start is educating more people on puppy mills and why they should never get their dogs from such horrid places.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I am on social media and they could check out my website: carolhoenig.com.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Dr. Carla Marie Manly — clinical psychologist, author, and advocate — is based in Sonoma County, California. In addition to her clinical practice focusing on relationships and personal transformation, Dr. Manly is deeply invested in her roles as podcaster and speaker. With a refreshingly direct and honest approach — plus a dose of humor — Dr. Manly enjoys supporting others in the ever-evolving journey of life. Her novel self-development paradigm builds resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-esteem. Highlighting the importance of loving connection, her work also focuses on helping others create deeply connected and satisfying intimate and social relationships. Working from a transformative model that honors the body-mind-spirit connection, Dr. Manly offers holistic relationship and wellness seminars around the world. An award-winning author, Dr. Manly’s books, The Joy of Imperfect Love, Date Smart, Joy from Fear, and Aging Joyfully highlight her empowering approach and profound expertise. Host of the captivating podcast, Imperfect Love, Dr. Manly offers uplifting guidance on navigating the messy road of life. Her expertise is also regularly cited in media outlets including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Forbes, Oprah, Newsweek, NBC, HuffPost, Reader’s Digest, Psychology Today, Parade, GQ, Women’s Health, Architectural Digest, Men’s Health, and more.
Growing Every Day: Author Carol Hoenig On What We Can Do To Grow Every Day was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.