Erica Pieczonka Of Dream Lab Coaching On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and Professionally
An Interview With Maria Angelova
Grow a professional skill. What skill would change the trajectory of your career and your overall satisfaction if you could get better at it? Look at your most recent performance review and/or review feedback from your boss and peers. Consider where you currently feel most challenged or have a lack of confidence. Make a plan for how you can grow in this area and ask others who do it well for feedback.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Erica Pieczonka, the founder of Dream Lab Coaching.
Erica is an Organizational Psychologist (Ph.D.) and former Director of Talent in the Fortune 200 turned entrepreneur and leadership coach. As a Talent Executive, she spent over 10 years creating and implementing leadership programs and supporting hundreds of mentees, leaders, and colleagues to boldly go outside their comfort zone and expand their impact, capability, and voice. Today, she is an entrepreneur with a diverse portfolio focused on talent strategy consulting and leadership coaching. Her coaching practice (Dream Lab Coaching) empowers women to define success on their own terms, break free from self-imposed limits, blaze any trail, and create a life and career they love. She is also an adjunct faculty member at the University of Denver where she teaches Leadership to frontline managers in Fortune 50 companies.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in a small town in Minnesota. Life was good for most of my early life until it wasn’t. At the age of 12, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and after that, my life completely changed. I went from being the Rotary Club’s Academic Achiever to feeling lost, failing classes, and not knowing how to get out of the darkness I felt. I struggled greatly until I was able to find my footing again through therapy and hard work. I went on to graduate college with high distinction in Psychology, completed my Ph.D. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, and then landed my first job at a Fortune 200 company where I grew from Analyst to Director in 4 years. I look back on my early life as a lesson in resilience, and I celebrate that girl who despite the odds against her persevered to create a life and career she loves.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite quote is one by Gilda Radner that my mother shared with me when I was young, “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” This quote truly speaks to how I live my life, reveling in the familiar discomfort of the unknown as I expand into my fullest potential. Feeling the joy of figuring it out when I don’t have all the answers. Developing self-trust and self-compassion has allowed me to take the tough moments on with grace, knowing that I will make it through to the other side.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I love just about everything Brené Brown does but I particularly loved her book, The Gifts of Imperfection.
For most of my life, I struggled with perfectionism. I had a HUGE wake-up call a few months into entrepreneurship when I found myself struggling with marketing. Specifically, the part where I needed to put myself out there on social media and talk about what I do and what I offer to generate clients. I was scared of being judged and found myself procrastinating any action that would grow my business and allow me to do more of what I love — help women claim their highest potential.
I wasn’t about to give up on my dreams. So, like any good researcher, I hit the books and spent the next few months reading/listening to every book, article, and podcast about perfectionism I could get my hands on. The Gifts of Imperfection had the most profound impact in helping me realize that my “high standards” were in fact unrealistic and preventing me from true fulfillment and success. I learned no one does anything perfectly the first time, and the only way I was going to get better was to “get in the arena” as Brené says, and learn from my mistakes so I could improve the next time. I also developed deeper self-compassion, resilience, and courage as a result. Freedom truly comes when we realize that failure is just an opportunity to learn and that our worth is not determined by being perfect. Messy action is better than no action and done is better than perfect!
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
Getting outside of your comfort zone means doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or even scares you. In order to expand, grow, and reach our fullest potential we have to push outside the limits of what’s familiar and comfortable. It’s truly where the magic happens.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
Truly life’s greatest treasures wait on the other side of our comfort zone. A few ideas on why it’s important to take risks and reach beyond what’s comfortable:
We get what we most want in life by learning new skills, expanding our capabilities, and reaching new heights. This is how we realize our highest potential and feel truly fulfilled.
With extended practice outside our comfort zone, what was once uncomfortable becomes comfortable, which motivates us to once again step into our growth zone. This zone lies just outside our comfort zone and is the space where we bravely take on new challenges and build self-trust, confidence, and mastery.
Most importantly, we discover who we are and the limitlessness of our capability when we chart the unknown territory of our growth zone. By confronting our fears, we increase our tolerance for the unknown and our resilience to overcome whatever challenge life throws our way, with grace and self-compassion.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
Simple answer, no. You cannot grow (expand a capability, develop a new skill, etc.) without reaching beyond your comfort zone. That’s not to say that nothing of value can happen in your comfort zone. This is where you can confidently perform what you do well, have a sense of mastery, and feel safe. It is also a place where you can build self-awareness and recharge through reflection and rest.
However, when it comes to what we want most in life, it typically requires some level of risk. Think about getting that promotion you’ve worked so hard for, starting a new business, or beginning a new relationship. All of these rich and rewarding life experiences require us to enter the realm of the unknown. To show up for these new adventures in life we must stretch ourselves. The good news is that once we do, often those new skills become part of our comfort zone, creating space for a new stretch opportunity. You take the ultimate risk in NOT leaving your comfort zone: never realizing your fullest potential.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
At this point in my life, I may be somewhat of a growth zone junkie. But that was not always the case. Aside from becoming an entrepreneur, one of the biggest leaps I took was becoming a manager. I had always wanted to lead a team and yet I found myself, in the beginning, feeling overwhelmed with just how much I had to learn. Taking those first initial steps felt like I would imagine a child feels learning to walk — unstable and a bit scary.
I took some time to identify what leadership skills I felt confident in and those where I felt most challenged. I realized that delegation was where I needed to focus the most. Not only did I not know how to do it the right way, but I also had a (not at all helpful) mindset that made me believe I should just do it all myself. I spent time learning about delegation in leadership training and from leaders I admired. I tried new strategies with my team, some that worked and others that didn’t. My early efforts did not lead to overnight success. Just when I thought I had made some headway, I got feedback from my team that I wasn’t giving them enough work and they wanted more. Hearing that pushed me to take some risks and give them more ownership than I was comfortable with at first. I began to see delegation not as a management principle, but as a tool to help each person on my team grow and develop. My role became less about assigning work to get things done and more about helping my team succeed.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
Try a new hobby.
Many years ago, a speaker at a leadership conference changed my life. After receiving a prestigious award, she shared advice on how we (the audience) could become better leaders. She challenged us to humble ourselves and step outside our comfort zones once a year so that we never forgot what our teams go through when they are new and learning. It hit me like a ton of bricks — I needed to remind myself what it feels like to do something for the first time.
Later that year I attended a yoga retreat in Panama where I was presented with the opportunity to try surfing.
I had spent most of my life terrified of sharks and I tended to avoid putting myself in situations where they might mistake me for lunch. I also don’t like looking bad in front of other people and thus avoided any activity where I might look incompetent in front of others. I remembered what the woman had said and decided to humble myself by surfing. Despite plenty of flailing arms, massive wipeouts, and even a jellyfish sting I had an incredible time. I went two more times on that trip and made a point every year after that to get out on the water. I am still very much a novice surfer, but I live for the feeling of catching and riding a wave. After the rush, there is something so peaceful, almost meditative, about sitting in on my board, waiting for the next set of waves to come in.
Think of a hobby you have always wanted to try, or maybe one you loved as a kid but have lost touch with. Book that art class, download that language app, or schedule that skydiving trip. You won’t regret it.
Just do it.
Often, there are places in our life where we have convinced ourselves we need more education, experience, planning, etc. to go after something we truly want. The reality is that by telling ourselves we are not ready and putting energy into preparing for the leap, instead of just taking it, we are just keeping ourselves in our comfort zone. The distance from where we are to what we want to be is determined by our willingness to just do it — picking one simple action that will take you one step closer to your dreams. The question to ask is, “What can I do right now?”. For example, if you are overthinking a presentation, you could put together an outline and get early feedback. If you are binging articles and books to start a blog, challenge yourself to write from what you know now and post it this week.
One of my coaching clients’ dreams was to create a women’s circle and it beautifully aligned with her values, purpose, and passion. When we first started working together this was very much part of her vision, but she saw it happening years down the road. In her mind, there was so much more she had to do to get there. After a few weeks, she decided just to go for it. She set a date, made a sales page, and sent invitations out to a few groups of friends. She kept it simple and decided to iterate and improve based on what she learned along the way. In the process, she realized this was what she was meant to do and was so grateful that she just went for it instead of waiting for “when she was ready”. You can too!
Take one small step toward a big dream.
We all have big dreams. That one thing that we have always wanted to do: write a book, start a business, travel the world, or host a community event. It can feel overwhelming because big dreams require a lot of work to accomplish. As the Chinese proverb goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. You don’t have to have it all figured out; you just need to determine what one small action would get you closer to where you want to go. Each small step you take is progress toward your dream.
Let’s say for example you have always wanted to write a book. A small step could be talking to an author or publisher, establishing a habit of writing for 5 minutes a day, and/or committing to writing one blog a week. Taking one step at a time keeps you in action and thus out of overwhelm, overthinking, and procrastination. Think of this process as an experiment, a place where it is safe to play, fail and try new things on. Bring a sense of curiosity and pay attention to your energy, joy, and learning as you go. Use this information to inform what next small step you will take in service of your dream.
Grow a professional skill.
What skill would change the trajectory of your career and your overall satisfaction if you could get better at it? Look at your most recent performance review and/or review feedback from your boss and peers. Consider where you currently feel most challenged or have a lack of confidence. Make a plan for how you can grow in this area and ask others who do it well for feedback.
In grad school, that skill for me was public speaking. In my second year, I completely froze from sheer panic when I was in the middle of a presentation. My professor was also concerned because I was set to present our research in three separate symposiums in just a couple of months. I had to overcome this fear NOW. I started small by taking a speech class, which helped me learn strategies for effectively preparing to speak publicly that in turn, alleviated my anxiety. After that, I asked for a teaching assignment where I would be forced to stand in front of a classroom of 30+ undergrads twice a week and deliver a lecture. What was once hard, become second nature, and through that process, I discovered my love for teaching and training. It is also what led me to a fulfilling career in learning and development. The risk was well worth the reward.
Make an uncomfortable list.
What are some simple things that make you uncomfortable? For example, going to dinner alone, taking a cold shower, striking up a conversation with a stranger, or asking that leader you admire to lunch. Over the course of a month, pick one that you will commit to doing each week. These small actions are opportunities for you to increase your tolerance for the discomfort we often feel outside our comfort zone. By facing your fear, you are also building self-trust, knowing that yes, you can do hard things. You may even find a new activity you enjoy!
I was challenged to do this in my first leadership training several years ago. The facilitators gave a long list of potential options, and we were asked to pick one to try that evening. I chose to take myself on a date — dinner and a movie alone. At that point in my life, I was slightly terrified at the prospect of being seen alone given the thousands of judgments people could make about me, but I went for it anyway. I enjoyed EVERY second, I felt so connected to myself and was really energized by the experience. It led me to take on solo travel where I met incredible people and continued to connect with myself.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Fear
Our comfort zone is a safe place to be and when we look outside of it, we often feel some level of fear. There is a fallacy that if we feel fear that it means we should avoid the scary thing. The reality is that we have to increase our tolerance for the unknown and being uncomfortable, and the only way to do that is to step outside our comfort zone and do it scared. The more we take action, the more comfortable it becomes. The fear becomes a bit exhilarating once you dance with it a few times.
Too much, Too soon
Challenge is critically important to motivation, but when it comes to growth there is a sweet spot. Not enough challenge and we will lose interest, too much challenge and we will be overwhelmed and demotivated. When you are ready to step outside your comfort zone, be thoughtful about what degree of stretch will keep you in that sweet spot (the growth zone) and out of the panic zone where you shut down and lose motivation. The best practice is to start small and keep it simple. Once you feel competent in that step, add more.
As a leader, I saw employees excited to get to the next step of their career take on too much in a stretch assignment and end up overwhelmed and shut down. What worked in those moments was to start with one or two reasonable tasks that were new and challenging and add as they improved their capabilities over time.
Fixed Mindset
Success outside of your comfort zone comes down to your relationship with failure and your ability to manage negative self-talk. Those with a fixed mindset make failure mean something about them and thus, struggle to navigate the experimentation required to learn and grow outside of their comfort zone. Those with a growth mindset see failure as a learning opportunity and thus, are more resilient and resourceful in the face of challenges. Adopting a growth mindset allows you to have fun outside of your comfort zone. You can play, experiment, and be curious, all in service of your learning and growth. This mindset releases the pressure of feeling you have to get it right the first time because truly, no one does!
Negative Self-Talk
When it comes to big leaps and even bigger dreams there is often a voice that tells us we can’t, we shouldn’t, or it will fail — our negative-self talk. When that inner voice takes hold, we feel self-doubt and resist showing up for what we truly care about. The truth is that our brains are wired for negativity BUT just because you think it doesn’t mean that it’s true! You can actively flip the script on your negative thoughts simply by reframing them into a positive statement. For example, “I am a failure” can be flipped to “I am learning and growing”. Building mental fitness in this way empowers you to build the courage to do it anyway, the resilience to overcome challenges, and the confidence that comes through experience despite your negative self-talk.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
I love this quote, and truly Eleanor is such an impressive woman. I interpret the statement as a challenge to push the limits of comfort and familiarity every day, in support of your continual growth. As I mentioned previously, there is a limit to the benefits of challenge. In the growth zone, we feel fear and discomfort at a level that is motivating and even exhilarating for some. Beyond that level of challenge, we can find ourselves in the panic zone, where feel overwhelmed and shut down. There is no benefit to being in the panic zone. We cannot grow if we are incapacitated by too much challenge and fear.
Pushing yourself to walk outside alone is only beneficial if first, you have a desire or need to overcome your fear and second, you do it in a way that keeps you in your growth zone. Outside of those two conditions, I would not recommend that someone should push their feelings of safety beyond what is reasonable because it would do more harm than good. If, for example, you get out of work when it’s dark and don’t have a car you could determine what small step you could start with that has just the right amount of challenge (take the bus, walk with a friend, carry pepper spray, etc.). The idea is to start small and gradually build confidence and feelings of safety as you work toward doing it completely alone NOT jumping right to the desired outcome without consideration of what you can and cannot handle.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
If I could inspire a movement, it would be that every person would find freedom and joy from a life lived solely in alignment with what they value and desire. To know they are inherently worthy and stop seeking worthiness from achievement. To know that their potential is limitless and their negative thoughts and limiting mindsets don’t define who they are. To feel empowered to design their life based on their own definition of success, not what society tells them they “should do”.
I want you to share your unique gifts with the world to make it a better place. To feel powerful, inspired, and fulfilled; knowing you can conquer any mountain, blaze any trail. To know and love who you are.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
If I had to pick one person, it would be Brené Brown. Her research on shame, compassion, and worthiness has the capacity to change the world. I love how she takes extremely complex data and presents it in a way we can all understand, appreciate, and implement in a powerful way. Not only is she my role model for evidence-based thought leadership, but her work has also greatly contributed to my personal growth and my approach to coaching.
How can our readers follow you online?
Readers can find me on my website www.dreamlabcoaching.com, Instagram at @erica_pieczonka, and LinkedIn at Erica Pieczonka, Ph.D.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Erica Pieczonka Of Dream Lab Coaching On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.