An Interview With Drew Gerber
Take one day a week to digitally detox. Do not go on social media, check emails, or search for answers to questions online. See how this can free your mind.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Tricia Wolanin.
Dr. Tricia Wolanin, Psy.D. is an international Wellness and Creativity Consultant. Dr. Tricia works holistically to inspire and empower others in elevating their creativity, authenticity, and joy. She recognizes the importance of re-inventing oneself, and has training and experience working with diverse populations worldwide as a clinical psychologist, creativity coach, yoga instructor, sound healer, writer, and retreat facilitator.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
I was led to the field of clinical psychology, as my grandmother is a psychiatrist and had a booming clinical practice in Philadelphia. She only recently retired. Mental health was a family business, but also my role in relationships, friendships, and with family members was as of an emotional caretaker. Psychology was a natural fit. I was a clinical psychologist for many years, but in my previous position I was able to expand my practice. I led yoga classes, mindfulness workshops, marital retreats, sound healing, and even led several decluttering workshops. Most recently I was part of The Great Resignation, leaving my position, and now I am transitioning and wanting on how to bring my work to a larger audience.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I don’t think there is one particular story that stands out. I feel really privileged to have worked with diverse people throughout the world. I have worked with the homeless population in the Bronx to Special Operation Forces in the U.K. to the incarcerated in Los Angeles and college students in Hawaii. We all still have universal struggles despite our locations or situations.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
The past several years, I have spent so much time decluttering in numerous areas of my life. I recognized one aspect that is necessary to declutter is our negative thinking patterns, particularly for creativity. I have created a course in helping people subtracting the inner critic. The link is below.
https://subtracting-the-inner-critic-for-creativity.teachable.com
A new project I am working on is a blog entitled A Modern Pilgrimage. I have been moved by pilgrimages after doing two portions of the Camino de Santiago the past two years. This is a blog that will share the details of the different types of pilgrimages we partake into today. This could be anything from intentional travel, inner journeys (such as sound healings, yoga), to how creativity can transport us. Through this platform, I plan to share upcoming retreats and workshops I am working on. It integrates my passions and training into one place. I think other individuals can resonate with that aspect of being a seeker and longing for something more in their travels and how they live their everyday lives. This will encourage them to tap into this deeper dimension available to them. I am also working on a book, currently titled The Great Unlearn. This is all about unlearning societal expectations.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
I taught several courses on the act of decluttering and simplifying one’s life. I’ve coached people on this topic, and I myself have spent time simplifying my life. One year I discarded or donated 1,000 items, and I noticed how this dramatically changed my life. I also have been working on a book (which may become a course) called The Subtraction Method: Mastering the art of less.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
People are seeking external ways to validate their success and achievements. This is what we have been taught by our consumeristic society. We believe more, bigger, and better should equate with happiness. But the fact is, it’s a lie. Oftentimes, when we attain all these external things, it actually leaves us with larger debt. This then ties us to jobs, we may actually not be satisfied in. It’s a vicious circle. We work to buy more things, get a small boost in serotonin, and get back to work to pay for those things. We often do not have enough time to explore what really makes us happy, and because we are so busy these momentary boosts of materialism bring us joy. Yet this is fleeting.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
I think this impacts our sense of entitlement as a society. We think that everything should be available to us but we don’t think of the repercussions of what happens to our stuff. For example, where does all of the remnants of our fast fashion go? How is that impacting our land?
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
In simplifying, one sees what one truly needs to get around in this world. For example, this past year I lived in a 290 square foot apartment in Paris. Previously I was living in a four floor house in the UK with solely my two dogs. Although I did not have much space at all in Paris, I had all of the essentials. When we declutter, we see what we need in life and realize our excess stuff may be serving as distractions.
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
I have recently moved to Malaga Spain. I was sitting on the beach this week, and asked myself this question. What do I really want? I do not have a traditional “job,” and want to grow in this new realm of being an entrepreneur. Others seem to equate your worth by what your profession is, and I currently am redefining this. I have a simple life, but it is abundant. I have a wealth of time, which is directed to be used in the way I want it to. I have gotten to see my friends and family often this year. I am spending time with my dog, am in the sun, and am walking distance to the water. This is the life that many dream of, and I wondered “where am I trying to go?” Am I already there? As I looked at the blue water, I thought this is what people dream of for their retirement. Sometimes people save up for years to take a one month long European vacation. I am living it. I think often we are so focused on goals, achievement, and the next step that we do not see that where we are standing is a gold mine.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
For me living in my small apartment in Paris really solidified this for me. I was not the only one living in tiny quarters. Most of my Parisian friends all shared the same story. We lived in small spaces. European apartments generally also have one small closet. There is no physical space to add more clothes to your wardrobe. If you want to add something, another thing must be removed. We all seemed to be comfortable with what we had. Everything felt like it was enough. This holiday season, as I left Paris, my friends and I had a gift exchange. We decided instead of buying each other a gift, we would offer each other a belonging we were ready to part with. This made each gift between us extra special, and we didn’t have to spend money to show that we cared for one another.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
I think it’s important for people (regardless of age) to explore and reflect on what is it they are seeking. It’s a good exercise to do. Be like a child and ask yourself “why?” For example, if someone is trying to focus on making $1,000,000, ask “why?” Go through a Q & A scenario with oneself. Initially, you would respond to this answer with such things as “to pay my student loans, rent, credit card, etc”. But after all of that is paid, then ask again, why do you want to have a $1,000,000? Get to the essence of what is behind all of that. Is it security, is it novelty, is it adventure, is it peace of mind? Get to the root of it, and explore can you have the emotion you are seeking even without having the $1,000,000. We sometimes think of the toys we can buy with a certain amount, but often we forget or are unaware of what we are truly seeking. What may be underneath it all is a particular emotion, versus a fancy purchase.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
1. Take one day a week to digitally detox. Do not go on social media, check emails, or search for answers to questions online. See how this can free your mind.
2. I appreciate Marie Kondo’s piece of advice to see if it still sparks joy, if yes keep if not thank the item and discard. I also had heard recently, as you go through items to see if you would actually pay money at a store for what is in front of you. If yes keep, if no discard.
3.When travelling and wanting to buy souvenirs, question if you are simply adding to others’ unnecessary belongings. Over the years, I realized often I was contributing to my friends’ and family’s increased “stuff” that they may have felt obligated to keep. If I do buy souvenirs now, it’s generally edible.
4. Look at how you fill your time. Time is a precious commodity, how are you spending it? There is such thing as time affluence in positive psychology and time scarcity. Are we filling our lives with people, obligations, and situations that do not bring us joy and are there due to habit versus choice? Query as to how you want to spend your time in the future and take action.
5. When shopping (virtually or in person) question why you are buying this item. Is it a want or need? Are you buying this as a form of avoidance or a temporary high? Is it because it’s on sale? How will you feel about this item six months from now? Slow down the purchase and see if you feel the same way one week later.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love it if cities were more pedestrian friendly. I appreciate the ease of navigating the cities in Europe, with the use of public transportation, bikes, and our feet. When we choose to walk versus using cars, it not only helps our finances, the gas crisis, improves our health, and also helps us engage with our cities in a more mindful manner.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Follow me on www.amodernpilgrimage.com
Or on Instagram at drtricia.co
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
Dr Tricia Wolanin On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.