Creating a Culture of Courage: Elizabeth DeVaughn Of Woman Emerging On How to Create a Culture Where People Feel Safe to be Authentic & Why That Helps the Bottom Line
An Interview With Vanessa Ogle
Leadership handles conflict proactively: Skirting around office tensions or employee conflicts only creates more stress, leaving employees feeling unsafe and mistrustful. A good leader will proactively lean into hard situations to help employees resolve conflicts. Employees learn that they can trust their leaders to hold a range of issues, leaving them feeling freer to express their full selves, ideas, and aspirations.
In today’s social media filled, fast-paced world, authenticity in the workplace and in our personal lives has become more difficult to come by. Business leaders must focus on the bottom line of profits and corporate success, but does that have to be at the expense of the authenticity of their employees? I believe it is quite the opposite. I know from my own experience that a culture of authenticity allows the hiring of a team that will bring their all to the workplace. That fosters innovation, creativity and a level of success that few companies dream of. Yet, fostering an environment where individuals feel secure enough to express their true selves remains a challenge. The importance of authenticity cannot be overstated — it is the foundation of trust, innovation, and strong relationships. However, creating such a culture requires intention, understanding, and actionable strategies. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth DeVaughn, clinical psychotherapist and specialist of relationships and trauma.
Elizabeth DeVaughn, LPC-MHSP, owner of Woman Emerging, LLC, is a licensed psychotherapist and specialist of relationships and complex trauma. Elizabeth owned and operated her private clinical practice in Nashville for over nine years, and she now helps women and couples all over the world heal the root cause of outdated relationship patterns through specially-tailored courses, memberships, and retreats. She has written for local magazines and recently co-authored a book with Brave Healer Productions: Dreaming with Bees: Sacred Medicine from Beyond the Veil of Grief.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Absolutely. Although many aspects of my childhood were secure and loving, I grew up as an only child in a household of addiction, trauma, and codependency. By the time I got to high school, I was anxious, depressed, having panic attacks, and had trouble having healthy relationships. Aware enough to understand that my parents had mental health issues, I became fascinated by the idea of learning everything I could about mental health.
I majored in psychology in undergraduate school, and then I worked as a case manager for clients with severe mental health diagnoses (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.) until graduate school a few years later. As I studied to become a psychotherapist, I engaged in my own therapy for several years.
Through my personal work and studies, I became increasingly fascinated by the root cause of mental health “disorders.” Through my now decade-long career as a clinical psychotherapist and coach, I zoned in on the areas of relationships, attachment, nature-based therapies, and trauma, as I saw that so much of the root cause of suffering lied within disruption of these areas.
Now, I help clients through holistic personal sessions, memberships and courses heal the deep root causes of mental health and relationship issues by restoring the nervous system, reconnecting with natural rhythms, and releasing stored trauma within the body.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Yes, and I’m already laughing at the story in my head. Many years ago, when I was working as a case manager for people with severe mental health issues, I was also single, deeply wanting a life partner, but sick of dating.
I had recently gained a client on my caseload, whose behaviors were particularly erratic, unpredictable, even scary at times. I was tasked with the job of finding her a place to live.
I found a homeless shelter from a neighboring mental health agency, and I made an appointment with the manager. My client and I showed up for the appointment, and when the manager answered the door, I thought, “huh… cute.”
After the appointment, we moved my client in. What I now understand to be the result of a lifetime of unresolved trauma and marginalization, my client started behaving inappropriately at the shelter right away. The manager, Garrett, had to call me every few hours with the latest misadventure.
A couple of weeks into constant phonecalls, strategizing how to keep my client housed despite so many behavioral outbursts, he asked one day,
“So.. what do you do for fun?”
Our first non-client conversation was about the cat I recently adopted. Fourteen years later, Garrett is my husband and favorite person on the planet.
Garrett’s a musician. When he proposed, he wrote me a song retelling the story of how, if my client hadn’t needed so much intervention, two people who were sick of dating would have never been forced to talk so much, and eventually fall in love.
You are a successful individual. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
- Growth-orientation: I always seemed to naturally lean toward a growth-oriented mindset, and over time I deliberately cultivated it. Viewing my life experiences, decisions, “wrong turns,” etc. as opportunities for growth not only helped me release shame, it also helped me develop confidence, open-mindedness, self-compassion, and a strong sense of freedom.
- Empowered mindset: A victim-based mindset will only keep you stuck. Going from the passive mindset of “life is happening to me,” to the empowered mindset of “I can always take empowered, positive action on my own behalf” helped me create the life, business, and relationships I desired.
- Self-compassion: Beating yourself up also keeps you stuck. The thing that really helped me heal old patterns of struggle and suffering was learning to love myself just as unwaveringly on my bad days as my good days. Shame simply creates more resistance, and self-love makes the healing journey more easeful and powerful.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Can you share a pivotal moment in your career or personal life when being authentic made a significant impact on your success or well-being?
Yes, I’ll give a personal example, though it also relates to the work I do as a relationship therapist. Historically, I had struggled to form deep friendships; even partner relationships were easier for me. Having had more of an anxious-attachment style with female friends, I was caught in a loop of people-pleasing, fearing that showing my true self would send my friends running for the hills.
Several years ago, I had a “last-straw” moment in the female friendship realm, when I experienced a traumatic breakup with a group of friends. While I did experience betrayal and hurt from them, I also took responsibility for the fact that, though doing the best with the tools I had at the time, I still hadn’t been showing up authentically within that group.
After a few months of licking my wounds, I came across an old therapist friend. We hit it off fast, and we started hanging out more. I was immediately struck by how much safer I felt with her than with my former friend group. I made the conscious choice to do my best in showing up as authentically as possible, to give our budding friendship a real shot at growing deep roots.
I started being more authentic, and she reciprocated. She had also experienced lots of hurt and betrayal with female friends, so we both deeply valued safety and honesty amongst friends. The more authentic we were with each other, the deeper our friendship grew. To this day, she is my absolute best friend.
One thing I’m certain of is that without cultivating a space where we both continue to feel safe, authenticity wouldn’t be possible. She and I laugh because as therapists, we both study relationships and participate in them. We both know that for a human nervous system to show up in true authenticity within a group of people, that nervous system, aka human, has to feel safe. This is why I was so interested in contributing to this important article, because I think cultivating safety is an often-missed ingredient when building relationships, groups and cultures.
What strategies have you found most effective in fostering an environment where employees or team members feel safe to express their true selves, including their ideas, concerns, and aspirations?
There are essential keys leaders should keep in mind when creating a truly safe culture that invites people to freely express themselves: personal accountability and self-awareness, consistent communication, predictability, the ability to be mentally flexible, the ability to navigate conflict in a proactive, solution-focused way that creates more trust amongst its members, and the ability to laugh, play, and have fun.
A culture’s tone depends primarily on leadership. If leaders are able to show up consistently and predictably, this fosters a sense of deep safety. Examples include coming to meetings on time, communicating issues clearly, consistent communication, paying employees on time, etc.
To further create safety, leaders must also have enough of an ability to regulate their emotions. When leaders are able to self-regulate and not become reactive, they are able to hold space for the variety of employee conflicts, complaints, and needs that inevitably arise.
Being able to self-regulate also allows them to have mental flexibility, a key tool for being able to see and respect another’s perspective without becoming reactive, rigid, or threatened.
It’s very important to not bypass hard conversations, conflict, or general tension among employees. A good leader who knows how to cultivate safety is able to approach conflict in a calm, non-threatening way that allows each employee to feel seen, heard, and safe.
Lighter aspects of work culture, such as laughter, humor, games, and team-building outings become more productive when conflicts are ironed out.
A good leader also knows that, when they themselves need to vent or complain, they should complain “up,” not “down.” Meaning, a leader should not lean on employees to express their own concerns, as this creates a feeling of unsettledness and non-safety. A leader should rely on their own support network — whether personal supports or their own leaders or mentors — to work on personal issues.
How do you navigate the challenges that come with encouraging authenticity in a diverse workplace, where different backgrounds and perspectives may sometimes lead to conflict?
Creating a culture that normalizes potential conflict and challenges is very important. This can look like providing readily available resources to the office that help team members navigate conflict (worksheets, scripts, templates for handling specific types of conflict, etc.) that help team members navigate conflict.
This can also look like having consistent team-building exercises that help team members gain active, embodied experiences of working through challenges proactively.
Deliberately celebrating diversity is also very important. During regular meetings, for example, a leader can provide exercises that invite members to celebrate each other’s unique qualities that add to the functionality of the “whole.”
Consistent education around various backgrounds and cultures is also crucial, whether through discussions, educational seminars, or other activities. Providing education on how to work with one another in a way helps all members feel respected and honored is key in building safety.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways to Create a Culture Where People Feel Safe to be Authentic?”
1 . Leadership commits to being consistent and predictable: Consistency and predictability are two of the main components that create a culture of safety. People naturally feel unsafe and unsettled when they don’t know what to expect from people around them, particularly leaders. Examples include being clear and consistent with communication, paying employees on time, following through with commitments, and being able to self-regulate in a way that lets them handle employee issues with emotional availability and a predictable temperament of calmness.
2 . Leadership handles conflict proactively: Skirting around office tensions or employee conflicts only creates more stress, leaving employees feeling unsafe and mistrustful. A good leader will proactively lean into hard situations to help employees resolve conflicts. Employees learn that they can trust their leaders to hold a range of issues, leaving them feeling freer to express their full selves, ideas, and aspirations.
3 . Leaders take personal accountability and are able to self-regulate: Self-regulation means being able to manage emotions in a way that enables the person to respond appropriately to situations, rather than becoming reactive or blaming others. Leaders create safety in a workplace when their responses to various situations are consistent and congruent with the circumstances. Reactivity and inconsistent responses cause people to feel unsafe and therefore keep parts of their true selves hidden.
A person’s ability to take full responsibility for their emotions, behaviors, and actions is a major component of building safety. Leaders will inevitably misstep. Acknowledging missteps to employees — followed up by proactive, reparative steps — builds significant trust, as this shows that the leader shows up with honesty and integrity.
4 . Leaders are able to hold space for, and celebrate, diverse needs and perspectives: A good leader will have enough mental flexibility and self-regulation capacity to hold space for a multitude of employee issues, emotions, concerns, conflicts, and ideas. Holding space is the ability to be fully present with someone’s experience, even if it’s different from one’s own, without becoming reactive (reactivity can look like blaming, becoming flustered, avoiding the issue, or trying to fix a problem too quickly).
Holding space for someone with full, non-judgemental presence makes it much easier to find solutions. Oftentimes, simply being seen, heard, and valued is the only solution needed.
Feeling seen and valued naturally leads to employees feeling safe enough to express their full, authentic selves in the workplace.
Intentionally recognizing and celebrating diversity is crucial. Education, team-building exercises, and discussions around honoring diversity will help team members from various backgrounds feel safe and encouraged to be themselves.
5 . Good leaders complain “up,” not “down”: Part of what helps employees feel safe is that they can count on a leader being consistently emotionally available and able to hold space for their ideas, concerns, emotions, and ambitions. If a leader “complains down,” as in, processes personal issues or complaints with their employees, this creates a feeling of unsettledness, resulting in them feeling less safe to share openly. Employees may also get a sense that the establishment itself feels unsteady. A leader should rely on their own support system — whether personal supports or their own leaders or mentors — to work on personal issues.
In your opinion, how does authenticity within an organization influence its relationship with customers, clients, or the broader community?
When the culture of an organization isn’t authentic, customers will feel it. When employees don’t feel safe to be authentic and to freely express themselves, they quickly become resentful. This translates into disorganized and low-quality customer care.
When employees don’t feel safe expressing themselves, motivation to do a good job drops dramatically. They may begin gossiping and forming alliances, further decreasing trust in leadership, productivity, and quality work. Employees who feel seen and supported tend to engage proactively in company goals, as they feel like an important part of the “whole.”
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
That would be the movement I’m already working on! Through offerings like courses, retreats, and memberships, to education through blogs, books, speaking engagements, and social media, my goal is to help as many people as possible learn how to heal the deepest root cause of harmful, toxic relationship patterns. Whether intimate relationships, friendships, or even coworking dynamics, every person is worthy of the relationships they most fully desire!
How can our readers further follow you online?
The best way for readers to connect with me would be my website, www.elizabethdevaughn.com, where I share my most recent blog posts and offerings, or via Instagram at www.instagram.com/elizabethmdevaughn. Through either of these outlets, readers can download my free Hard Convo Cheat Sheet, an easy-to-follow, step-by-step guide that helps the reader navigate conflict in relationships in a way that supports deeper intimacy.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Thank you, it was an honor! And fun!
About The Interviewer: Vanessa Ogle is a mom, entrepreneur, inventor, writer, and singer/songwriter. Vanessa’s talent in building world-class leadership teams focused on diversity, a culture of service, and innovation through inclusion allowed her to be one of the most acclaimed Latina CEO’s in the last 30 years. She collaborated with the world’s leading technology and content companies such as Netflix, Amazon, HBO, and Broadcom to bring innovative solutions to travelers and hotels around the world. Vanessa is the lead inventor on 120+ U.S. Patents. Accolades include: FAST 100, Entrepreneur 360 Best Companies, Inc. 500 and then another six times on the Inc. 5000. Vanessa was personally honored with Inc. 100 Female Founder’s Award, Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award, and Enterprising Women of the Year among others. Vanessa now spends her time sharing stories to inspire and give hope through articles, speaking engagements and music. In her spare time she writes and plays music in the Amazon best selling new band HigherHill, teaches surfing clinics, trains dogs, and cheers on her children.
Please connect with Vanessa here on linkedin and subscribe to her newsletter Unplugged as well as follow her on Substack, Instagram, Facebook, and X and of course on her website VanessaOgle.
Creating a Culture of Courage: Elizabeth DeVaughn Of Woman Emerging On How to Create a Culture… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.