Cole Clark Of AmygdaLaunch On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and Professionally
An Interview With Maria Angelova
Be OK with not always feeling happy.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Cole Clark.
Cole Clark is president of AmygdaLaunch, a startup changing innovation in the alcohol industry. He’s also a sports and fitness model with the Wilhemina agency. As a thought leader, he has written columns for prestigious publications about being part of the Gen Z workforce, gender equality in business, and more.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in three different countries, which brought its challenges and rewards. I never felt like I fully fit in anywhere. But I’m grateful for what those experiences taught me and the path they set me on. I was born in New Jersey, the second of two kids in my family (my sister is two years older). When I was three, my family moved to England. I went to a traditional English prep school, complete with the uniforms. It was very strong academically in many ways, but also strict and not always supportive of creativity. When I colored outside the lines and made the ocean green, they kept me in from recess.
A few years later, we moved to Canada. My family had a tough time finding a school that was right for us. But I picked up hockey and got into competitive sports in general. Then a few years later, we moved to Connecticut, where I spent the rest of my childhood.
I got used to feeling a little out of place, and marching to the beat of my own drum. I developed thick skin. Some of that came from hockey. It can be a tough sport, and some kids tend to be insular. Some are even mean. I was also very small, less than five feet tall and less than 100 pounds when I entered high school. I was a late bloomer.
But all of that taught me how to empathize with people who may also be feeling different. And it helped me learn to navigate tricky situations and make friends in different environments.
I really wanted to attend the Naval Academy, but was medically disqualified due to Hashimoto’s disease and other autoimmune disorders. I also had five concussions from playing hockey and lacrosse.
But running track and setting a national record with my DMR (distance medley relay) team helped secure me a slot at William and Mary, a great, relatively small college in Virginia. While there, I studied neuroscience and became fascinated at how the mind works.
I got a summer internship in New York City. There was some ambiguity with the application instructions on the website, and I called the office to explain. That call helped me stand out. So they gave me a shot. It was an early lesson in taking a risk. I worked hard at the internship, really enjoyed it, and fortunately had a job with the company waiting for me when I graduated.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Stay in your three-foot world,” from the book No Hero: The Evolution of a Navy Seal by Mark Owen. He had an intense fear of heights. As part of his training, he had to go rock climbing. He felt paralyzing fear. But then his instructor said those words to him, and it changed his perspective. Owen learned to stop worrying about everything else, and focus on what was immediately around him. “Staying in my three-foot world became a mantra for me,” he writes. “It is liberating once you let go of the things that you can’t control. It seems to work for just about any situation.”
Even though I wouldn’t be able to pursue my goal of becoming a SEAL, I continued to be fascinated by them. I used that example to help guide my decisions, about my career and life, on a regular basis. The “three-foot” idea shapes my perspective. I don’t let a lot of BS get to me. I focus on my immediate tasks, on what I need to do, on what I can control or affect — my own sphere of influence.
I also have a line that I say, “Being exceptional means being different.” There’s no need to be like anyone else. If you are going to be exceptional at anything, you have to be willing to stand out. That might mean putting more time or work into something for example, or doing things operationally in a different way.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I really like the poem If — by Rudyard Kipling. It lays out guiding principles for how to be a good person and a good man. It also really resonates with me because it speaks against the idea of limiting yourself to only one thing or another.
He writes about being able to “talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch.” I think that’s the perfect analogy for anyone who is a good leader, especially in business. You need to be able to speak to higher-ups and have relationships with them but also interact with average people and understand their experiences and struggles.
That’s why, for example, I always like hearing about CEOs who grew up working at McDonald’s or doing other, similar jobs. People with a humble background who don’t lose sight of that, while also building great things, are inspirational.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
To me, getting outside your comfort zone is about chasing fulfillment rather than a short-term feeling of happiness. People might feel momentarily happy when they’re comfortable — doing what comes easily to them, risking little, and sitting still metaphorically (or even literally). But to be fulfilled on a deep level, you need to be willing to be different, to take risks, to go against the norm.
It can be exhausting, intimidating, or unpleasant in other ways. It can make other people question what you’re doing. And you can’t know what will happen from all the effort you’re putting in. But you forge ahead anyway, focusing on the process instead of the result.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
To achieve things that deliver positive change and help people, you have to keep trying new things, learn through trial and error, and be willing to fail. It’s the only way to build something new and innovative.
There’s also a deep satisfaction that comes from living this way. When you know that you have the courage to pursue hard tasks in pursuit of important goals, you can feel a sense of confidence and pride that just doesn’t come from being “comfortable.”
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
To achieve the kind of growth that broadens your mind, perspectives and opportunities, you have to leave your comfort zone. You can be grateful for your life while still diversifying your experiences in order to discover new ways of working, leading, and even living. Through that process, you’ll discover that you’re capable of more than you knew.
You’ll also become a more well-rounded person, and you’ll meet more and more people who are different from you in all sorts of ways. Developing authentic connections with them, learning from them, and helping them learn from you in return can lead to tremendous growth. It can be uncomfortable to reach out to someone new and build a relationship. But the more you do it, the more wide open the world becomes to you.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
One of the main reasons I started modeling as a side job is that I knew it would force me to face uncomfortable situations. In this field, we attend castings very frequently — some large, some small. So I stand there, alongside a lot of other guys, wearing whatever the client wants to see us in — a bathing suit, underwear, shoes, etc. And the client, rightfully, judges me in a split second based entirely on how I look to them. There’s so little that I can control about it. While I’ve been fortunate to get a lot of great gigs and work with fantastic brands, I have of course also had my share of rejection.
A shoot can be uncomfortable too. You can feel very self-conscious about providing what the photographer and client want. You can start to think, “Oh no, should I have skipped breakfast? What if they regret choosing me?” Your mind can spiral. So you have to learn that you just focus on your part of the task — your immediate sphere of influence — and not worry about the rest.
Through these shoots, I’ve also learned so much about respecting everyone’s role in a business project. One day we were shooting on an island off of Manhattan. If someone was unfamiliar with how these shoots go, they might have thought the brand was spending too much money on having too many people there with not enough to do. But every person played a crucial role — watching out for all the details, getting everything exactly as it needed to be, freeing up the photographer to focus exclusively on getting the perfect shots, etc. All of that showed up in the finished product.
I took those lessons with me back to my job at AmygdaLaunch. I try to always remember that everyone is there for a reason — the employees I oversee, the people from brands who come to meet with us, the executives at the company that we’re a part of, and more. Everyone’s role should be respected and appreciated. And they should be given the space and freedom they need to excel.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
- Figure out your why. What values are most important to you, and how do you express them? What purpose drives you? What is the effect that you’re hoping to have? This means being deeply introspective. You’ll need to ask yourself some tough questions. Think of it as having a very honest conversation with yourself. Sure, you have goals for your own life — higher pay, promotions, a nest egg, etc. But what broader impact do you want to have, and on whom? Finding your why is a continuous process of checking in with yourself often. When things get uncomfortable, you’ll only be able to power through by remembering the big picture.
- Translate your why into a concrete step. Be strategic. Choose what you’re going to do by considering a bunch of possibilities and determining which can have the biggest impact in achieving what matters most to you. For example, it might mean starting a new business. If that’s the step you take, then plan, structure, and build it from the ground up based on your why. Plenty of people will tell you that you should give up, or change the idea in a fundamental way. Refusing to compromise on your deepest purpose can be very uncomfortable — but also necessary. Definitely consider people’s advice and wisdom, but don’t give up on anything fundamental in order to achieve your why. (For me, wanting to be a kind, honest person who positively impacts other people has led to all sorts of concrete steps. It makes me want to expand the business so that we can bring on more employees and provide them more opportunities. It also leads me to mentor people outside of the business and to look for opportunities for them, even when I might not feel that I have the time.)
- Find your weak spots. Perhaps one of the most uncomfortable things you can do is actively go looking for the arenas in which you have the most work to do in order to achieve your goals. Seek out feedback from coaches, colleagues, bosses, and just about anyone else you trust. I found that I had weak spots in translating information between technical and non-technical parts of the business and giving presentations. And I needed to learn SQL and Python, two complex programming languages. It could feel like a lot! Of course it meant being uncomfortable, asking lots of questions, failing along the way and learning. But the more I build these new skills, the more I achieve.
- Beware of distractions. It can be so easy to fall behind on the concrete steps you’ve chosen, because there are so many ways to use your time. Social media can take up a chunk of your day, and can also make people feel that they need to go out partying in order to cultivate a certain image. Doing uncomfortable things in order to grow requires daily commitment. It means not giving into certain temptations. You can still have fun, and should! But set your priorities. Be intentional about how you spend your time, and whom you spend it with. Having a strong support network will help you do this. I’ve found that scheduling workouts with friends and mentors first thing in the morning helps me generally avoid partying late. It keeps my life structured in a way that I’m more likely to keep moving ahead, pursuing my goals, and growing.
- Be OK with not always feeling happy. Spending time out of your comfort zone can make you feel frustrated or down. When that happens, you can easily fall into the trap of assuaging the bad feelings in unhealthy ways. You need to learn to “feel your feelings” and live in that less happy, or even temporarily unhappy, space sometimes. Remind yourself of your why. Tell yourself that all of this growth will benefit you — that it already is benefitting you, even if you can’t see it yet. That you are becoming more experienced, more skilled, deeper and wiser. That all of this will pay off, and that you’ll look back on it and feel incredibly fulfilled. Of course, this does not write off the crucial importance of mental and emotional health. There’s a balance. Take good care of yourself along the way.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
An important barrier to address is the responsibilities and commitments you have to other people. Some have families to support. Some (like me) have employees who count on them to keep their business growing. All this provides a major incentive to stay in your comfort zone and keep doing whatever seems to be working. That pressure can lead to complacency and push you against taking risks.
At AmygdaLaunch, I’ve been entrusted with a tremendous opportunity as a leader, especially for someone my age. I know that if I screw up, it could be bad for the business, for our employees and other stakeholders. But I remind myself that the potential rewards to all of us make the risks worth it. And I remember that I have to be true to myself, to my why.
I also keep perspective, and know that even if something doesn’t work out as I hoped, we’ll all be OK — whether continuing in our current jobs or doing something else. I wouldn’t be where I am if I wasn’t willing to embrace the uncomfortable. So continuing to do so is the right way forward. It helps me stay focused and optimistic.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
Definitely don’t do something simply because it scares you. Don’t risk your life or safety unnecessarily. Think through why you’re afraid of something, and whether getting past that fear is a smart move. Mark Owen is a good example. He was not alone in climbing, and had others around. He also had equipment. He was in a position to face his fear.
I encourage people to look at what’s really at stake. If you’re afraid of taking a risk in business, starting a new project, sharing a hidden talent or trying something you might be bad at, remind yourself that you’re not risking your life. That no matter what, this too shall pass and you’ll move on. You might be nervous or apprehensive — completely natural parts of being uncomfortable — but don’t let fear overtake you. Remember that you are in control of you.
In my work, in order to grow AmygdaLaunch I need to keep bringing on more and more alcohol brands. This means reaching out to people who have high-ranking roles at major companies, many of whom have known each other for decades. They could see me as just a young upstart who doesn’t know the industry. I could be afraid of rejection. But I don’t let those fears get to me. Many people I reach out to respond with kindness, and we go on to do business together.
Some kinds of fear can fuel you in a positive way. My biggest fear in life is regret. I don’t want to die thinking there’s something I wish I had tried, experienced or accomplished. Another personal mantra I have is, “Try before you die.” The regret that would come from giving up is far more unpleasant than any discomfort I’m feeling in the moment.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I think it would focus on helping other young people understand that they can make a big difference in just about any field. That being young and having less experience means we have a lot to learn, but it also has benefits. Our generation grew up understanding how to use technology, build brands online, and galvanize large numbers of people through digital tools. We can apply this to every important cause on the planet.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I’m fortunate that I already get to have lunch with so many people who are so impressive and have had so many successes. Strauss Zelnick, chairman and CEO of Take-Two, is a close friend and mentor of mine. I often reach out to people whose work impresses me, and we have lunch. I’ve found that the strongest relationships are built by approaching individuals with authenticity, empathy and genuine curiosity about their personal story.
Jeff Bezos would be an interesting one. Pets.com was such a failure, but he nevertheless went on to lead a massive empire. All leaders can have impostor syndrome. I wonder how that experience affected his confidence, and the extent to which he trusted his own grand vision for Amazon.
In any case, whoever I get to have lunch with, I want it to be someone I can maintain a relationship with afterward.
How can our readers follow you online?
I’m on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-a-clark/. I also have an Instagram account, mostly for my modeling work, at https://www.instagram.com/cole.a.clark.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Cole Clark Of AmygdaLaunch On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.