An Interview With Wanda Malhotra
Know that the Truth of you is that, under all that crap, you are Whole, Perfect, and Complete. Life may have dumped a lot on you and you are not that. You are not the dis-ease, you are not the addiction, you are not the pain, you are not the guilt or shame. You are a magnificent creative force and energy. Learn to guide that energy in the direction of Joy.
In a world where the journey towards sobriety is often challenging and deeply personal, understanding the pathways and strategies for achieving and maintaining sobriety is crucial. This series aims to provide insight, encouragement, and practical advice for those who are on the road to recovery, as well as for their loved ones and support networks. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Peter Bedard.
After a near-death experience, Peter faced his greatest challenge: Living life in physical wreckage, emotional suffering, and spiritual exhaustion. Peter healed and discovered the gifts in the pain. He helps people live their full potential while integrating their lessons of pain.
Thank you so much for joining us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I normally tell people how I died after being slammed into the back of a parked semi-truck while riding my bike but, as this is a recovery focused group, I think it’s important to share that I’m a proud friend of Louis. I’ve worked in and around recovery centers for the majority of my career as a therapist, and pretty much, every relationship I’ve had has been with a partner who was either an alcoholic or the child of an alcoholic. Learning boundaries, discovering my self-esteem, finding a spiritual path, and more are an important part of my recovery process.
On another note, I have a Master’s degree is Consciousness Studies focused on science and theology and certificates in clinical hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming, medical imagery, and I’m a lay minister.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
Well, it’s not a story about a client but more about my process and faith. There are times when I have a client that has gone through so much suffering and trauma that I’m left thinking to myself, “How can I help this person?” It’s only happened a few times in my almost 20-year practice but when it has, I quickly go within, take a deep breath, and I say a little prayer asking to be Divinely guided. I lean into my process of healing that I call Convergence Healing and I simply have faith that I and my client are exactly where we need to be. The Universe has never failed me!
You are a successful individual. Which three-character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
The character traits that I think are the most instrumental in contributing to my success are Trust, Vision, and Patience. One of the most exciting things I’ve done in my career is to have taught and been a speaker in many different countries around the world. In order to have done this, I had to trust that my work was valuable and trust that the processes that I teach, my Convergence Healing therapy process, actually works. Trusting myself and the work that I created was a big deal for me. Telling people they can heal and then showing them how to heal was daunting. I questioned myself, the viability of my work, and I had to deal with feeling like an imposter. Finding the strength and confidence to share my work and to actually get out there and do it was scary.
Having a Vision, being able to see myself out in the world sharing what I know, would have never happened if I didn’t have a vision for myself and what I wanted to create in my life. For me, that vision included seeing one-on-one clients, giving talks and workshops, speaking in front of large groups, and being a published author. Having a vision about what you want to create and knowing that experience down to the smallest of details, will bring the vision into physical form. The more you know something, the more you can taste it, smell it, see it, feel it, the more the potential is there for it to become a physical reality. I truly believe that everything starts as a vision, takes on a feeling, and then becomes solid reality.
Patience is another important trait that has contributed greatly to my success. I’ve learned to not be impatient, to not rush to the end, and force an outcome. The idea of the journey being the destination seemed like a bunch of crap when I was younger but now, as I age (gracefully I hope), I find the process to be more important than the end result. Patience helps me breathe through the stress. It helps me appreciate the life that’s happening all around me and when I do finish something, I feel good about it without running to the next thing.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that might help people?
I just had my second book published, Billy and the Anxiety Monster, How to Love Your Anxiety and Heal, A Grown-Up Book for Your Inner Child and I’m super excited to see where this goes! I have a vision of thousands of people, of all ages, reading and benefitting from this book. I see parents reading this book to their kids, adults reading this book in their book clubs, and companies buying copies of this book for their employees. There are over 400,000 people every day struggling with some sort of anxiety and I trust that this book can speak to all of them and help them to heal. I’m already starting to book myself at events where I can share this sweet book and the healing work it provides. Next steps are to adapt the book into a workbook/coloring book and to develop course material focused on helping people work with and even love their anxiety.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. How would you advise individuals who are contemplating the journey to sobriety but might be hesitant or unsure about taking the first step? Are there key considerations or strategies that can make this initial phase more manageable?
One of the big first steps I see in creating sobriety is learning to sit with uncomfortable and often “big” emotions. After all, most of the avoidant behaviors such as drugs, alcohol, sex, social media addiction, etc. are just ways to avoid and medicate ourselves. It’s hard to feel emotions that can overwhelm us and shut us down especially if we don’t even know or understand what those emotions are. Learning to be okay when emotions come up can really help. This is why having a home meeting, sponsor, and therapist is so important to the recovery process. One of the best strategies for recovery is to put these things in place and develop a group of friends and/or family members that are emotionally available and honest as your support group.
Sobriety often comes with its unique set of challenges. Can you share insights on how individuals can effectively navigate obstacles or triggers that may arise during their journey? Are there specific tools or support systems that you find particularly helpful in overcoming these challenges?
Some tools that I think are crucial to sobriety are:
– Having a home meeting. The 12 Step programs are wonderful for many reasons but primarily for community. Having a safe place to go to that’s filled with like minded people can be the deal breaker of sobriety. Ideally, participating in a 12 Step program gives you a place to be yourself, to feel safe, to develop unconditional friendships, and to experience accountability. The actual Twelve Steps are awesome and, in my opinion, the connections, friendships, and accountability are more important and valuable.
– Having a therapist. For most of us, we became addicted as a way to cope and survive serious emotional, physical, and spiritual wounds. Working with a therapist that can help work through these wounds is super important.
– Having a Hypnotherapist. Therapy can help us work through the pains of the past. Hypnosis can do this as well and, it can powerfully help us to create a vision of the future that is full of possibility. When we work with the subconscious mind and start training our brains to think differently and move away from the “stinking thinking” of the past, that’s when our future starts to unfold in powerful and promising ways. I think of hypnosis as a way, or tool, to create possibility within ourselves using the tools of the mind, body, and heart. So often, people come to me who are no longer using and engaging in their addictive past patterns so they have a degree of sobriety but they feel stuck and unengaged, not having a clear vision of their future or even “who they want to be when they grow up”. We know that hypnosis can make you a better basketball player. It can also make you a better human and support you in growing into your highest potential.
– Having an exercise routine. Scientifically, we know that exercise improves circulation, reduces depression, increases “positive” hormones like dopamine and serotonin, supports better metabolism, and even contributes to a better sex life. Find some sort of physical activity that you can commit to everyday and go do it. Walk, do push-ups, take a yoga class, go to the gym, whatever you want to do, just do it.
– Having a meditation practice. First, there really is no wrong way to meditate. You can meditate with your eyes open, while jogging, sitting in a chair, laying down, listening to music, and standing in line at the grocery checkout counter. Learning to meditate takes back our minds from the chatter of the outside world and the chatter inside our own heads.
Maintaining sobriety is a long-term commitment. From your experience, what are the essential factors that contribute to the sustained success of individuals on this journey? Are there lifestyle adjustments or mindset shifts that prove crucial for the ongoing pursuit of sobriety?
Well, yes…see above! Realizing that every day we are given a tremendous amount of “life currency”. This currency is our time, breath, energy, emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Consciously deciding where you want to spend and invest this currency is paramount. Are you investing your time into bar friends and drinking, or whatever your addiction may be, or are you investing in your Joy? Are you understanding a vision for yourself that is happy, joyous, and free and taking all that energy and directing it towards that vision? Every time we put down the addiction, we are investing into that potential and literally calling that possibility closer to us.
Based on your research or experience, can you please share your “5 Things You Need to Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety”?
The article I initially sent in answers some of these questions but I’ll elaborate more…
1. Know that you are LOVED! Whatever you did, whatever was done to you, Love is always present, even now. Make the choice right now to love yourself so much that you can heal; to love yourself so much that you can let other people be exactly who they are, and give yourself the same freedom. There is a Divine spark present in each and every human being. It is the soul, the life force energy that is you. You can shove it down, hide it away, deny it, feel unworthy of it but it is, and always will be, there. Call it forward right now and do your best to clear off all the crap, abuse, shame, guilt, etc. that was dumped on top of it.
2. Know that the Truth of you is that, under all that crap, you are Whole, Perfect, and Complete. Life may have dumped a lot on you and you are not that. You are not the dis-ease, you are not the addiction, you are not the pain, you are not the guilt or shame. You are a magnificent creative force and energy. Learn to guide that energy in the direction of Joy.
3. Know that at any time, you can start over and think differently. These are your thoughts anyway. This is your life, your breath, your body. They all belong to you, no matter what anyone else told you.
4. Know that forgiveness is always an option. There is a famous quote that’s thousand of years old that says something about not forgiving is like drinking poison that’s intended for someone else. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the harm done to you is now suddenly okay. It does mean that your mind, body, and heart are no longer being poisoned by the anger, fear, and resentment that was occupying your being. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. Holding on to angers literally poisons ourselves. Those hate filled, hurt filled thoughts literally create a chemical state in our bodies that lowers the immune system and causes inflammation. Choosing to forgive frees us from obsessive catastrophizing thoughts and allows us to step out of the pain into our highest potential.
5. Know that you already are successful. I’m going to get a little more spiritual here. I believe that we are all emanations of the Divine (God, Goddess, Universe, whatever you want to call it). Success isn’t what you own, what car you drive, the size of your stock portfolio. Success is who you are. You came here to incarnate the Divine, to be an expression of the Divine in human form so that the Divine can know itself. You already are that expression. You were born successful. The Divine is understanding itself as you in this moment right now. It’s understanding itself as an addict, learning to remember its Wholeness and creating a unique life as you in this very moment.
Community support plays a vital role in the journey to sobriety. How can individuals find and engage with supportive communities or resources that align with their specific needs and goals? Are there online platforms, local groups, or initiatives that you recommend for fostering a sense of connection and understanding during this process?
Yes, as I said above, the 12 Step programs are amazing for this. Go to AA, go to Alanon, CODA, ADA, Smart Recovery, whatever. I believe there are local in-person groups and online meetings every day across the globe. Find a meditation center, go to a spiritual service of some sort, join MeetUp, become a member of your local marching band. Nurture heart felt connection, make friends, find your tribe and, most importantly, be of service.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
I LOVE connected with people through my healing work! You can find me on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. I also have a fabulous website and some darn good books, www.ConvergenceHealing.com.
YouTube — https://youtube.com/convergencehealing
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/peterbedard/
Facebook — https://facebook.com/peterbedardconvergencehealing
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/convergencehealing/
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
Author Peter Bedard On How to Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.