An Interview With Maria Angelova
Looking at the “future me” and creating my “future self.” What I do is, whenever I go into an uncomfortable situation, I look at the “future me,” 10 years down the road, and I will ask myself, “Hey, should I have done this?” This approach is all about self-efficacy, which is you today, acting as who you want to be and who you view yourself to be tomorrow. This approach has served as a reminder that, if I don’t take action today, I’m not going to reach that person that I really strive to be and that I’m on this devoted mission to become.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing David Nurse.
A former professional basketball player, today, David Nurse is a mindset coach who has trained over 175 NBA athletes including seven-time All Star Joe Johnson, “Linsanity’s” own Jeremy Lin, NBA champ Brook Lopez, Domas Sabonis, Norm Powell, Keegan Murray, and Top 10 player/All Star Shai Alexander. As a coach, David also took the Brooklyn Nets from 28th in three-point shooting percentage to 2nd overall in the NBA in just one season. David is also the author of the best-selling books Pivot & Go, Breakthrough, and the 2023 release, Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action. He was named by Real Leaders as one of the Top 50 Motivational Speakers in the World, and his podcast, The David Nurse Show, is one of the fastest-growing podcasts on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. David resides in Marina del Rey, California, with his wife Taylor Kalupa.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in the middle of nowhere, in the corn fields of Iowa, with very supportive parents. All I wanted to do was play in the NBA and I basically committed every waking hour towards doing that. Unfortunately, I was not gifted with height or a big vertical jump — both are needed to play in the NBA — so my parents probably should have told me to play tennis or golf! But I loved basketball and put everything I had into it. I grinded my way to play college basketball at Western Illinois, and then I continued to play professionally overseas in Australia, Greece, and Spain. That league was probably more like a Will Ferrell semi-pro type of league than it was the actual big time that I was going for. But there I was still thinking I’m going to play in the NBA.
I eventually got cut from that team in Spain, which was kind of my life moment where everything crumbled on me. I went back home and lived on my parents’ recliner chair, feeling bad for myself for about six months. I had nothing going for me; I had no money, no vision of where I wanted to go, and I thought I was still going to play in the NBA.
Yet, my mom would always tell me these motivational and inspirational quotes. Usually, when she said these, they went in one ear out the other. But one time, a quote she said resonated with me: when doors close, others open. That is when I realized that while my goal had been to play in the NBA, I was really put on this Earth to coach others. That was my pivot, my turning point.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite life lesson quote is: “Motivation will show you there, discipline will get you there, and devotion will keep you there.” A little spark of motivation is great. Having discipline, yeah, you can do that for so long. But devotion is what truly matters. For me, it’s devotion to my wife, and devotion to the mission that I am on to help others unlock the gifts they have. It’s a bigger calling; it’s a mission. That’s been the biggest life lesson quote that I have stuck with. I’m devoted to it!
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
One of the most impactful books that I’ve ever read, and I keep coming back to, is The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer.
The reason that it stands out so much to me is that it paints a perfect picture of how to run your own race. It says it is okay to not do what the world says you must do, and that you are not confined by certain circumstances or limitations. You do not have to fit into this box, or live in this hurried, grinding hamster wheel type of life. No, you can live a different way; you can live a better way.
This message really hit me at a time when I really needed it. This was when I thought one’s legacy was all about the success level that you reach. In reality, it is not. Legacy is not about what you accomplished based on the world says, but it’s how you make others feel, how you leave them different from when you met them.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
Getting out of your comfort zone means taking action towards something where you do not know exactly how it’s going to end. You don’t know if the results that you desire are going to happen, and you are scared, nervous, and hesitant before going into that room or whatever that comfort zone is. So, it is the difference of where you are today to where you want to get tomorrow, and within that gap is where you need to take action, outside of your comfort zone.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
It is so important to get out of your comfort zone because you do not know what your capabilities are until you do it. It’s easy to listen to motivational podcasts and read inspiring books, and it’s very easy to know a lot of things. But there’s a huge disconnect in our society between knowing something and doing something.
The only actuality to fulfilling who you are truly called to be is through continually stepping out of your comfort zone. There’s never been a situation in my life where it was easy and very comfortable when I stepped out of it. There have been so many times where I’ve been scared to do it, scared to go out there. But afterwards, each time, I was like, man, you know what? I grew so much, and I was so glad that I did because I did grow.
It’s so frightening for people to get out of their comfort zone. But you have to look at it like, well, what’s the worst that can happen? You’re not going die. You’re not going go to jail. The worst that can happen is you’re at the same exact spot as where you started. For me, I look at this kind of failure as a learning tool. If I fall on stage or forget all my words that I planned say in a talk, then I just have a great lesson for my next book.
So, it’s so important to get out of your comfort zone for the obvious reason of growth, but it’s more so for the reason that, if you do not, you will never become the person that you were created to be. By not doing so, you are also doing a disservice to others because you have a gift that you can share with them. And now you are essentially being selfish since you are unwilling to get out of your comfort zone so that you can develop these gifts that you can share with others.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
It is possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone, but it’s not possible to fully attain all that you were created to be.
As an example, in basketball you can become the best practice player on the basketball court — someone who does amazing in practice but not in real games. It’s a completely different ballgame when you step out on the court with a lot of eyes on you, when you’re out of your comfort zone. Everything changes and you grow from that.
Those who don’t even try to go out of their comfort zone can be a great practice player, but at some point, they will look back and will live with regret because they never tried to step out of their comfort zone.
So yes, it is possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone, but you will leave so much on the table, so much that you could have done. And the worst thing at the end of the day is living with regret. That’s the scale that I always weigh things on: is the pain of stepping out of your comfort zone today greater than living with regret tomorrow?
I think the pain is definitely worth it. It’s like lifting weights. They’re not always fun and can be painful, especially those last reps. But you know that you’re growing by pushing yourself there. You know that you’re investing in yourself for the future. It’s never worth having the regret later on.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
I’ll never forget my first keynote talk ever. This took place when I was transitioning from basketball coach to motivational keynote speaker, and I’d never done a big talk before.
My wife is an actress, so to try and break in to keynote speaking, we had her acting coach videotape me on a stage that we rented. I had some different outfits, and I was given some one-liners so that it looked like I’d given some talks before. We had three friends there, and the cameraperson did some great camera work to make the room look like it was packed. I took this film and used it to get me hired to speak to a massive corporation for their yearly kickoff talk. I essentially fooled my way to getting in there!
But I had never given a talk before. I remember there were probably a thousand people there in the audience. The announcer introduced me as a top motivational speaker, a great keynote speaker, and I was just frozen there in my chair! My first thought was to run or pretend I was ill, but I stepped up on that stage completely out of my comfort zone. While I practiced for this, it sure was a different ballgame when I actually got up there in front of a thousand people, for an hour, to give a motivational talk.
I’m happy to report that it went phenomenally well. That changed my life. Where I am today sparked from that moment, from that first talk to speaking to Fortune 500 companies and being named among the top 50 keynote speakers worldwide. It all started there because I took that step outside of my comfort zone.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
Whenever I’m faced with an uncomfortable situation, I have created a variety of different mindsets that always remind me how to push through.
Here they are:
1. What’s the worst that can happen? I first look at all the worst-case scenarios of what can possibly happen. If none of them end in jail or death, I’m good to go!
On the basketball court, I’m a big believer in taking as many shots as possible. A relevant story around this is how I got into coaching the NBA. After I was cut from that team in Spain, I decided I was going be a coach. But I didn’t have any connections in the NBA. So, I hand wrote a letter to every NBA general manager. I thought, what’s the worst that can happen — no one responds? I mean, nothing bad could happen. This really freed me up because there wasn’t any pressure.
Sure enough, a month later, one guy gets back to me, Gary Sacks, the GM of the Los Angeles Clippers. He said if I was ever in Los Angeles to look him up. I immediately booked a ticket out to LA, spent all my money, borrowed some from my parents, and told him I was going to be out there in a week for a camp. I prepped for that meeting, and it could not have gone any better. I ended up moving to Los Angeles, even staying with him early on. He has become one of my closest friends — he was in my wedding. Today, every NBA connection that I have has literally stemmed from that first meeting with Gary Sacks. All because I took that chance and said, well what’s the worst that can happen?
2. When I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I take the focus off me and think about who else I can serve in the room. I actually look at my hands, which remind me that everything is about serving others. This service mindset takes the pressure’s off me. It’s not about what I can get out of this, but how I can help others to do great things.
I have lots of stories on this, but one of the most important is when I wanted to meet four influential people: Lewis Howes, Max Lugavere, Mark Sisson and Khalil Rafiti.
I didn’t know any of them, so I send them a message on social media saying I was planning a get together in Malibu and that the others would be there. I was thinking they could make some great podcasts together that could help a lot of people in the health space, so my goal was to serve them by introducing them to each other. The crazy thing is that they all showed up! I was super, super nervous and uncomfortable in putting that together because I didn’t know any of them. But it was a big breakthrough moment in my life. It made me realize I can be successful so long as my primary goal is to serve others.
3. One of the favorite mindsets I’ve created is called “The 17 Seconds Rule.” I’ve trained over 175 NBA athletes over the last decade. During on-court training, I used a stopwatch regularly. Anytime it seemed like an athlete didn’t want to go through the workout, or was slow to start one, I would measure to see how long it took that athlete to get into the workout and be okay with it. 17 seconds was the average time, meaning once they started, it’d take them 17 seconds for their mind to overcome what they had been trying to put off.
I use this in my own life a lot. If there’s something I don’t want to do, like make phone calls or go to the gym when I don’t feel like it, I tell myself that it’s only 17 seconds that I have to endure before I get into it. I take ice cold showers often to remind me of this. The first 17 seconds is awful, but after that I’m good. I can go with five minutes, 10 minutes. It’s the same with most anything you don’t want to do. The first. 17 seconds aren’t always the most fun, but after that, it’s fine.
4. The fourth one is: Looking at the “future me” and creating my “future self.” What I do is, whenever I go into an uncomfortable situation, I look at the “future me,” 10 years down the road, and I will ask myself, “Hey, should I have done this?” This approach is all about self-efficacy, which is you today, acting as who you want to be and who you view yourself to be tomorrow. This approach has served as a reminder that, if I don’t take action today, I’m not going to reach that person that I really strive to be and that I’m on this devoted mission to become.
5. The fifth one is the most important one to me. It has to do with recognizing that, for me, I’m ultimately not in total control of my destiny. For me, God has a plan and is guiding my steps. I don’t know exactly where they’re going to go. I don’t know when they’re going to happen. But I know he has a great plan for me and that I can trust in him. So that really helps in going into uncomfortable situations.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
The common barriers that hold people back are all based on fear. In my research and studies of over three years, I have found that there are nine different reasons people hold themselves back from taking the actions they should be taking. These nine are what I call “Action Archetypes,” and are 1) The Allodoxaphobic (fear of other’s opinions), 2) The Burned, 3) The Inopportune, 4) The Blamer, 5) The Test Believer, 6) The Perfectionist, 7) The Scarciest, 8) The Distracted, and 9) The Underestimater. I profile each of these archetypes in my new book, Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action so that people can easily become aware of the roadblocks that may be holding them back from becoming the person they are made to be.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
We all get caught up seeking comfort, but comfort never equals growth. I think it is important to push your boundaries to shatter ceilings of limitations and to grow, but the only way to do so is by getting into uncomfortable situations.
For me as a speaker, I often step into rooms that I am scared to be in because the other speakers are more accomplished. That takes me right out of my comfort zone. But every time I walk out of those rooms, I’m so thankful and glad that I went through that challenging situation.
The reason this is so important is because the number one thing that people regret on their deathbed is wishing they had made different choices. I always ask myself, is the pain of going through the uncomfortable situation today greater than living with regret later in life? The answer is always yes!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
If I could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good, it would be a movement for the next generation to shift what they think is important — status self-gratification, wealth, fame — and instead realize what really matters and what can leave a legitimate legacy: serving others.
I always use the example of the TV show MTV Cribs, which highlights being rich as the most important measure of success. But I would rather start a movement that shifts the definition of success away from money and towards helping as many people as possible. For example, there is a soccer star in Senegal who gave his wealth to help his village get clean water. That sort of radical generosity is what I’m talking about!
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
The person that I would love to have lunch with is John Maxwell. I think he is not only a phenomenal leader, but he is a leader who genuinely cares about the growth of others. He could have very easily hung it up and retired years ago, but he is still speaking because he believes in the greater good of humanity. He understands that he is on a mission, and he is relentless. I would love to have lunch with John Maxwell, to be able to learn from him and ultimately to help carry the torch of the personal growth movement that he has played such a big role in creating over the past 30 years!
How can our readers follow you online?
Social media: DavidNurseNBA
All of my books at Amazon Books or B&N.
My podcast: The David Nurse Show
My Action Advantage Newsletter (free gives when you sign up!) at www.davidnurse.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Author David Nurse On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and Professionally was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.