Antonia Balazs Of Flourish With Antonia On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love
Knowing and Loving Yourself. The most important key to finding fulfilling love is truly understanding and embracing who you are. Without this foundation, it’s hard to establish a relationship built on authenticity.
In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, finding and maintaining meaningful romantic relationships can be a daunting task. From navigating dating apps to managing expectations in a digital age, there are numerous challenges individuals face in their quest for love. Through this series, we would like to explore the complexities of modern dating and relationships, offering insights, advice, and strategies for navigating the often confusing landscape of love in the 21st century. In this series, we are talking to experts in psychology, relationship coaching, sociology, matchmaking, and individuals with personal experiences navigating the modern dating scene, to share their knowledge, perspectives, and stories. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Antonia Balazs.
Antonia Balazs is a dedicated yoga teacher, wellness expert, and aspiring novelist with a unique ability to combine the practical and philosophical aspects of yoga to help her clients find balance in their lives and relationships. Based in Washington, D.C., Antonia also has deep ties to London, where her family roots and formative experiences have shaped her holistic approach to life, wellness and relationships.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up between New York/Long Island and the UK, navigating the blend of two very different cultures. From a young age, I’ve been fascinated by people’s stories, which sparked my love for traveling and meeting individuals from all walks of life. This curiosity has shaped much of who I am today, inspiring my journey into yoga, storytelling, and helping others uncover their own paths to connection and fulfillment.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I initially trained as a historian, but everything changed in midlife when I discovered the transformative power of yoga. It wasn’t just about improving my body; yoga profoundly shifted my relationships — first with myself and then with my husband. This personal journey inspired me to pursue a career where I could help others experience the same kind of growth and connection, using yoga as a tool to foster deeper relationships and a more fulfilling life.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Authenticity: I grew up in a family where we let it all hang out — you could say eccentric, with lots of eccentric arty and academic friends. I was never told to be someone else. Knowing who I am helped me find and keep to the north star of my values, even during times of change.
Purpose: When you know your values, you can step forward with purpose. When you are rooted in your values and what’s important to you, your purpose opens up to you. You are able to come home to your authenticity again and again and continue to walk along the path of clarity.
Kindly Curious: When you approach people with kind curiosity about where they are and where they stand, along with the sense of purpose, you will walk away knowing you shone the light of your true self with grace. You illuminated the other person and kept your own light bright. You will avoid that hideous feeling of going over and over what you feel you should have done differently.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I’m currently working on a novel that explores how we see ourselves and what happens when that sense of self is shattered. It’s about the journey to rediscover who you are and what makes you feel at home within yourself.
This project grew from my own experiences of stepping back and implementing three guiding traits: authenticity, purpose, and kind curiosity. I had reached a point where I was finally achieving success in my yoga business, but something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t showing up in the way I truly wanted to — I was bringing the wrong energy, and instead of feeling fulfilled, I felt like I was failing. It was devastating, but I knew I had to pause, even though it felt counterintuitive. Looking back, I wish I’d done it sooner.
That pause was transformative. I reconnected with my personal yoga practice, and it was a phenomenal experience. In that space, I realised I hadn’t trusted my vision enough to stay constant and courageous. I had been chasing an idea of success that wasn’t aligned with who I truly am.
Through stepping back, I also rediscovered the part of me that brings the most joy — not just to me, but to others: storytelling. It’s where my light shines brightest. Through storytelling, I can share the power of yoga in a way that connects to those deep, raw emotions that resonate at the heart and gut level — the kind of feelings the best novels evoke. This realisation has completely shifted my focus, and it feels like I’m stepping into the truest version of myself.
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority on the topic of dating and finding love?
The most important thing in dating is to know yourself, love yourself, and understand what’s truly important to you. When you do that, you create the confidence and openness needed to attract the right partner.
For me, this realisation came after a pivotal moment in my own life. Ending my engagement in 2006 felt like an earthquake shaking through my entire being. I found myself asking, “Do I even know who I am?” When I flew back home, I walked into the space I’d so carefully created for myself — my home — and realised that while it was intentional and welcoming, I hadn’t been that intentional with myself. I needed to do a full “refurb,” stripping back to the walls, clearing out the dust, and rebuilding from the inside out.
That journey began on the roof of my home with yoga. As I opened up to the expansive sky, took a deep breath, and began to move, something shifted within me. The scent of marjoram filled the air, the clouds moved overhead, and the trees swayed in the breeze. My body started to release tension, and my heart opened. I moved into pranayama, the yogic practice of breathing, beginning with the Breath of Fire technique. Each exhale snapped out the stagnant air, while the inhale brought in fresh, new energy. It felt like I was releasing what no longer served me and welcoming in clarity and renewal.
As I practiced, the mantra ahimsa — non-violence — echoed in my mind. It wasn’t just about treating others with kindness but about how I treated myself. I realised I had been holding on to harsh, self-critical thoughts about my ex-fiancé and myself. As my body relaxed, so did my mind, and I began to see myself differently. I thought, “I’m not such a bad person after all. I quite like myself!”
This internal shift set me on the path to finding my husband and building a marriage that has thrived for over a decade. Kundalini Yoga continues to be the foundation of my practice, helping me show up as my best self in my relationship and keeping my marriage strong.
Ultimately, I believe this: you have to know, like, and love yourself first to find a partner who will truly love and walk beside you for the rest of your life. Because if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you in the way you deserve? That’s where the journey begins.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love’. Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of the “inability to find love”?
The most common root cause of the “inability to find love” is the belief that we need to be someone else to be lovable. So many of us think we need to fit into a certain mold, hide parts of ourselves, or become what we believe someone else wants. This creates a disconnect because, deep down, we’re not being true to ourselves.
If you don’t know yourself — your values, your needs, your quirks — you’re not giving anyone the chance to truly love you for who you are. And if you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to believe someone else could. That self-doubt often leads us to make choices in dating that reinforce the idea we’re not enough. We may pursue the wrong people or stay in relationships that aren’t right for us, all because we’re trying to fill a void that only self-acceptance can truly fill.
Finding love starts with knowing, liking, and loving yourself. It’s about embracing your whole self, the good and the imperfect, and having the confidence to let that shine. When you’re authentic, you attract people who resonate with your true self, and that’s the foundation of a relationship that can last.
What are some common misconceptions or myths about finding love in the modern world, and how can they be debunked?
It’s More Difficult to Find Love If You’re Older: This is a common misconception, but in reality, finding love when you’re older can often be easier — and even more rewarding. With age comes a deeper understanding of who you are, what you need, and what truly matters in a partner. You’ve likely moved past the pressures of societal expectations or the superficial priorities of youth, allowing you to approach relationships with greater clarity and purpose.
What advice do you have for individuals who feel overwhelmed or disillusioned by the challenges of modern dating, and how can they maintain hope and optimism in their search for love?
When you are clear and confident in who you are and what you truly want, it transforms how you approach dating. Standing firm in your values while leading a full and enjoyable life changes the energy you bring to relationships — and the right types of people will naturally be drawn to you.
In the meantime, focus on creating a wonderful life for yourself. Build joy, pursue your passions, and nurture the relationships you already have. When you prioritise your own happiness, dating feels less like a daunting challenge and more like an opportunity to find someone who complements the amazing life you’ve created.
Let’s explore how the rise of social media and dating apps has impacted the way individuals approach and experience dating and relationships. Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use social media to find love?
Dos
- Show Up as the Real You
Be yourself on social media and dating apps. Share the things that genuinely light you up and reflect your values. When you’re authentic, you naturally attract the kind of people who are right for you. - Use It as a Mirror
Before you swipe or send a message, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What am I actually looking for? Are my choices driven by fear or insecurity, or do they align with what really matters to me? That bit of reflection can make all the difference.
Don’ts
- Don’t Fall into the Comparison Trap
Social media is not reality. Don’t measure your dating journey against the picture-perfect relationships you see online — it’s rarely the full story and not a fair comparison. - Don’t Let Rejection Get You Down
Rejection happens, especially in the world of digital dating. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. See it as a way to redirect your energy toward someone who’s a better fit for you.
Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use dating apps to find love?
Dos:
- Know What You Value:
Think about what you truly value in a partner, not what you feel you should value, and stay true to that. This clarity will help you focus on meaningful matches. - Be Discerning, Not Dismissive:
Be thoughtful about who you interact with — invest in connections that show potential but avoid dismissing someone too quickly. Chemistry and connection can take time to grow. - Balance Commonality and Chemistry:
Having shared interests is important, but so is chemistry. Give both time to develop rather than rushing to make decisions. - Meet in Person Quickly:
Avoid spending weeks chatting endlessly on the app. Meeting in person sooner allows you to assess real compatibility and prevents wasted emotional investment. - Choose the Right App for You:
Different apps cater to different styles of dating. Take the time to find one that aligns with your values and dating goals.
Don’ts:
- Don’t Panic About the Endless Pool:
The sheer number of options can feel overwhelming, but remind yourself that quality connections are more important than quantity. - Don’t Get Caught Up in Changing Someone:
Know who you are and what you value, and look for a partner who aligns with those things. Avoid falling into the trap of trying to “fix” someone. - Don’t Overcommit to Digital Communication:
Spending hours every day connecting through devices can create a false sense of intimacy. Balance online communication with real-world interactions. - Don’t Be Afraid to Take a Break:
Dating apps can feel draining at times. It’s okay to step away and refocus before diving back in with a refreshed perspective.
Can you share a few dos and don’ts about looking for romance in real-life physical spaces like congregations, bars, markets, and conventions?
Dos:
- Choose the Right Place for Your Personality:
If you’re someone who enjoys getting comfortable and knowing people over time, opt for recurring hobbies, religious gatherings, or meetups.
If you thrive on the excitement of meeting new people, try bars, parties, markets, or conventions where the energy is more dynamic.
2. Be Yourself from the Start:
Engage naturally and authentically. Whether it’s a casual encounter or something that feels electrifying, being true to yourself ensures a strong foundation for future connection.
Don’ts:
- Don’t Overthink First Impressions:
Real-life encounters are about organic interaction. Focus on being present rather than perfect. - Don’t Push for Immediate Results:
Allow things to develop naturally. Some connections may start subtly, while others may feel instant — both are valid paths to romance. - Don’t Present a Persona:
Avoid putting on an act to impress someone. Relationships built on authenticity are more likely to stand the test of time.
What are your thoughts about the challenges and opportunities that come with workplace romances?
Workplace romances can develop naturally, as we spend so much of our time at work, making it a place where genuine connections often form. There’s nothing inherently wrong with dating someone from work, but there are important boundaries to consider. For instance, it’s best to avoid relationships where there’s an imbalance of power, such as a manager dating someone on their team — this can lead to complications for everyone involved.
It’s also wise to seek connections outside your immediate team to maintain professionalism and avoid potential conflicts.
When considering a workplace romance, think about how both you and the other person would handle things gracefully if the relationship didn’t work out. Workplace bonds can sometimes create a false sense of intimacy, so it’s essential to ensure your connection goes beyond shared tasks or workplace stress.
Finally, remember that the person you know at work may be very different in other environments, so take time to see how they are in various settings before deepening the relationship.
Can you discuss the role of vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connections and finding lasting love?
To form meaningful connections and find lasting love, you have to start with knowing who you are and embracing authenticity. Too often, we try to mold ourselves into who we think we should be, only to attract the wrong type of person. That approach doesn’t lead to genuine intimacy or enduring love.
Yes, vulnerability is both challenging and essential for deep intimacy. The key to embracing vulnerability is having the confidence that, no matter what happens, you can weather it and come through stronger. With that combo you will thrive.
This is where yoga can truly transform your approach. It helps strip away the “shoulds” of who you think you need to be, allowing you to connect with your authentic self. Yoga also clears the emotional blocks that make vulnerability feel so daunting, giving you the inner strength to open up and connect on a deeper level — it helps you develop that knowledge that you will be fine. It may take time, there may be heartache, but you will be stronger and you will thrive.
Based on your experience or research, what are the “Five Things You Need To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love”?
Knowing and Loving Yourself
The most important key to finding fulfilling love is truly understanding and embracing who you are. Without this foundation, it’s hard to establish a relationship built on authenticity.
Being Confident in What is Important to You
Knowing your values and standing firm in them provides clarity when seeking a partner. This doesn’t mean creating a rigid checklist but understanding what truly matters.
Being Curious and Open to Other Points of View
While confidence in your values is important, being curious and open to other perspectives allows for deeper connections.
Leading with Firm Kindness
Setting boundaries with kindness is essential in creating healthy relationships. I believe that being assertive doesn’t have to mean being harsh.
Having the Hard Conversations
Difficult conversations are inevitable in relationships, but timing is everything. Addressing issues outside the heat of the moment allows for constructive dialogue.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I have a few favorites that have really influenced my perspective on love and relationships:
- Esther Perel: Her books and podcast are incredible resources for understanding the nuances of modern relationships. She has such a unique way of breaking down intimacy and connection.
- Carolyn Hax: I love her advice column — it’s practical, sharp, and often pretty funny. She’s great at cutting through the noise to get to the heart of relationship challenges.
- Michelle Obama’s Books: While they’re not specifically about romance, Becoming and The Light We Carry are so relevant. They’re full of insights on self-discovery, resilience, and partnership, which are all key to building strong relationships.
These resources have helped me grow both personally and professionally, and I think they offer valuable guidance to anyone navigating love and connection.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’d call it The Light Within Project.
It would be a global movement designed to empower people to uncover their inner strength, embrace their authentic selves, and share their light with the world. It would focus on creativity, mindfulness, and community — helping people build connection, find purpose, and live with courage, intention, and joy.
Now that I think about it, this sounds a lot like something Michelle Obama would champion — which isn’t surprising, really!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can follow my journey and insights on Instagram at @flourish_with_antonia. I’d love to connect with you there!
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
Antonia Balazs Of Flourish With Antonia On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.