Adam Elnekaveh Of Strive to Defy: Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life
An Interview With Jake Frankel
Surround yourself with amazing people — We are meant to create deep meaningful connections with people. So for as much time as we spend on our phones… we have to live in the real world. That’s where life has meaning. So put the phone down, go spend time with your family and friends and make some memories.
Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked on Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50s.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear? In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Adam Elnekaveh He is an author and speaker who is in the second chapter of his life. It wasn’t so long ago that he was at the peak of his fitness career, and about to launch a revolutionary fitness app. Then in May 2018, he sustained a severe traumatic brain injury in a motorcycle accident that left part of his brain on the pavement. He spent ten days in a coma, yet thankfully he survived.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Hi, I’m Adam. I was born in New York but grew up in Los Angeles. I lived with my parents (who met in the Israeli army) and was raised alongside my younger sister Orit. I was always a super hyper kid and loved doing active stuff to use up my energy.
My dad is a big fan of football and basketball, so I decided to join the basketball team to make him proud. Sports became a special way for us to connect. But as I got older, it became clear that I couldn’t keep up with the taller players. One day, I stumbled upon weightlifting, and it just felt right. I instantly knew that’s where I belonged. It wasn’t long before I was able to effortlessly lift a 130-pound dumbbell, and practically defy gravity. An impressive trick I was able to perform, clapping an astonishing 14 times in the air between pull-ups.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” — Bruce Lee
This quote means a lot to me, because after my accident my life was all about adapting. I think it’s a great reminder that you can choose to fight things or you can choose to adapt. I chose to adapt every day and I credit much of my progress to that.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much?
- Athletic Mindset — My training has served me well throughout my accident recovery. Athletes consistently have set-backs but never quit. I think that kind of thinking really helped me tremendously.
- My rebellion — Sometimes to achieve things in life, you need to be a little rebellious. Again, me not listening to my doctors’ professional advice served me well in this instance. As much as I understood that they were advising my family in the best way they knew how — I knew my body much better than they did. I am a determined man if nothing else.
- Resilience/Adaptability — Life is full of setbacks. I sort of assume that’s part of life. So yeah I get frustrated, but then I move on.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?
Before my second chapter, I was a natural (steroid-free) bodybuilder, a personal trainer, and the creator of a revolutionary fitness app. The app was on the brink of release when I got into an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. I was in a coma for 10 days. After my accident, the prognosis was grim. My parents were told survival might mean vegetative paralysis, but I proved the doctors wrong.
And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
I had to essentially rebuild my entire life from scratch brick by brick. Before my accident, my entire identity revolved around my body and my strength. So a big portion of my Second Chapter involved letting go of that limited definition of myself. I had to develop a much deeper strength to propel myself past the pain during my difficult rehabilitation. But more importantly, I had to find other strengths that were previously hidden. I never realized how creative I could be until I started writing. I have now written three books. I also think I have a unique opportunity to turn my pain into purpose and teach people the unique perspective I gained by going through something so tragic. I really want to help people.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
My cognitive therapist thought I would need to keep a journal in order to remember things. It was the darkest time in my life and in some weird way journaling saved me. Because I was afraid I’d forget details about the people I loved most, I journaled every detail of my life. And the more I journaled, the more I realized I really love writing and communicating. That was a huge turning point for me.
What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
I think through journaling and talking to people I realized I’m a storyteller. Like I said, journaling was two-fold. One was to retain my memory, but secondarily it was a coping tool. Only in my journal could I admit things I was afraid to say out loud. I wanted to remain positive in front of my family and friends for their sake. But inside I was a mess trying to digest this new life. This new body.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
I think well. Initially I was reluctant to share my story since it is as highly personal as you can get. You’re really stripping yourself bare as an author. But the more people I shared my story with, the more I realized it could provide hope and support to others dealing with tragedy as well. When I realized I could help, I got more excited about my new life. After all, everyone wants to contribute in life.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My parents. Their undying support during this entire journey has been nothing short of astounding. After my accident, I didn’t exactly feel lucky or grateful. But witnessing my parents working together during my recovery was truly beautiful. I feel very fortunate and will forever be thankful to have them as parents.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?
I think the fact that people are genuinely interested in my story and want to hear everything I’ve been through. Before this people were only interested in my body, my workouts and my diet. It was a very one-dimensional relationship. But now, I realize people are truly kind and compassionate and are genuinely interested in me as a human being. Prior to all this, I never really felt that connection. I guess baring your soul has its advantages LOL.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
I think we all struggle with thinking we are never enough. The first time I lifted weights it was to get stronger because a friend teased me about being weak. I never liked anyone defining me — so I rebelled by getting stronger. And that propelled me into pushing myself further and further as an athlete.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
My parents are strong and resilient and having them as a support system has been invaluable. But beyond that, I love people. I am a definitely a people person. I talk to strangers everywhere I go honestly. Every single person I meet adds something unique to my life.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
I have been out of my comfort zone for more than five years now! And although it’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through it has really forced me to grow and redefine myself. But being “uncomfortable” has led me to writing, public speaking and it has even led me to see the man beneath the muscles. So personally, I prefer being outside my comfort zone now. It forces me to continue to adapt and grow.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started” and why?
1. Writing a book is hard — There is a reason why nobody I know has ever written a book LOL. But I am so proud of my book series because I think my story represents the 1.5 million people who are diagnosed with TBI’s every year. I want to give them a voice and raise awareness at the very least.
2. Don’t let anyone define you — A team of doctors had written me off. Not one of them assumed I could ever live an independent or full life ever again. Boy am I glad I am stubborn. Everyday I think about the patients who take their doctors words as the word of god and give up the fight. Imagine had I never pushed myself… I’d likely be wheelchair bound and bedridden. I likely would not have thought to push past the pain.
3. You can achieve just about anything — I really feel like I am living proof that humans are resilient. Life will no doubt throw you curveballs, but don’t let that stop you. If you have dreams, make them happen. You only have one life.
4. Surround yourself with amazing people — We are meant to create deep meaningful connections with people. So for as much time as we spend on our phones… we have to live in the real world. That’s where life has meaning. So put the phone down, go spend time with your family and friends and make some memories.
5. Life is short — I was lucky enough to get a second chance at life, so I’m surely not going to squander it wasting time. I want my legacy to be a reminder that life is meant to be fully lived. I didn’t want to just survive — I wanted to live fully.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
My ultimate goal with the books and the public speaking is to help others and give them hope when they’re feeling hopeless. I have been to hell and back — It took me years to relearn how to walk, talk and do basic human tasks like brushing my teeth. When I was struggling through that journey I had no one to look up to. No role model with a TBI that I could look to and say “they dealt with the same injury as me and now they’re doing great.” I think most TBI patients suffer in silence and it’s very isolating. I want to remove that isolation for people and give them hope.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 🙂
Arnold Schwarzenegger. As a bodybuilder I always looked up to him. But now after everything I’ve been through, I really admire how he reinvented himself beyond the muscles. He has really created an amazing life for himself beyond bodybuilding.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
The best way to follow me is to read my books. That gives you every detail of my real life. But readers can also follow me on my website — www.strivetodefy.com as well as on social media. Direct links to social media pages are on my website.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Adam Elnekaveh Of Strive to Defy: Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.