Impactful Communication: John Bates Of ExecutiveSpeakingSuccess.com On 5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator
An Interview With Athalia Monae
Connect First, Then Communicate
In an age dominated by digital communication, the power of articulate and effective verbal communication cannot be understated. Whether it’s delivering a keynote address, leading a team meeting, or engaging in a one-on-one conversation, impactful speaking can open doors, inspire change, and create lasting impressions. But what truly sets apart an effective communicator? What techniques and nuances elevate a speech from mundane to memorable? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing John Bates.
John Bates is a globally recognized Leadership Communication Expert, executive coach, founder of executivespeakingsuccess.com and bestselling author on a mission to make your communication as mighty as your ideas. As one of the world’s most prolific TED-format coaches, John has trained hundreds of TED/TEDx speakers and thousands of executives from top organizations, including NASA (yes, even the astronauts), Johnson & Johnson’s JLABS, GE Aerospace, US Navy Special Operations, and Boston Scientific.
John’s approach is grounded in human neurobiology and evolutionary psychology, giving leaders science-backed tools to inspire trust, communicate clearly, and create real influence — even in the most technical, high-stakes environments.
Known for transforming speaking anxiety into authentic executive presence, John regularly earns Net Promoter Scores of 92+ and is widely recommended as the best leadership communication coach working today.
After famously “blowing it” during his first TED talk (just Google “John Bates TED fail”), he returned to become a world-renowned speaker and coach, helping leaders turn their expertise into compelling, TED-worthy communication that moves people to action.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about communication, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I’ve always been the one with the soft skills, but I was always jealous of the people with the hard skills. They made more money. They seemed more valuable. And deep down, I felt like I didn’t measure up. So I went around trying to prove my worth, but it was always awkward because I didn’t feel like I actually was valuable.
Then in 2009, I went to TED for the first time. Watching speaker after speaker, I saw, without a doubt, the power of one person with a clearly communicated idea. It lit me up. For the first time, I realized: I have something valuable to offer, too.
Not long after, I was on the team putting on one of the first-ever TEDx events in Santa Monica. We had a speaker with tons of hard skills, brilliant mind, fascinating topic, but his delivery was awkward, and painful. He was so nervous that the whole audience was squirming. And while my eveil side smugly thought, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Hard skills guy is blowing it. Call what I do fluffy… my friend Michael Weiss leaned over and whispered: “John, we’ve got to help people like this.” And that one sentence utterly transformed my life.
That was it. The lightbulb moment. I realized that if I got over myself, if I dropped the envy, I could actually help brilliant people communicate powerfully, effectively, inspiringly.
That night, I went home and started building what would become my signature training: The Speak Like a Leader Boot Camp. I grounded it in neuroscience so I could show logical, hard-skilled people not just what works, but also why it works.
And thankfully, it turns out — everybody wants to know why.
That’s why I’m so passionate about this work. Because we need the best ideas to be heard, and great people deserve to be understood.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
One of the highlights of my career was working with NASA astronauts in late 2018. I got to train all the active NASA astronauts, and it was total bucket-list territory for me.
A cool side story about that: when I first walked in, I told them how excited I was to be there, what a huge space geek I am, how much I love NASA and space and all of that. They were like, “Okay, John, great — cool.” But then, somehow it came up in conversation that I had a one-and-a-half-year-old son, and his name is John Regulus Bates. Regulus is the star at the heart of the lion in the Leo constellation, and that’s why we gave him that name.
At that point, a number of them perked up a little more — and that was when I kind of got my bona fides as a true space geek. But honestly, they’re just the nicest people on Earth, and it was a really fabulous experience.
And here’s a really interesting story from that time: after the training, we were just chatting, and a couple of the astronauts said, “John, we think you’d appreciate this. It kind of aligns with your training. Want to know what the final test to become an astronaut is?”
Of course, I said, “Yes — I absolutely want to know!”
They told me: “To become an astronaut, you’ve got to pass a lot of tests. But the final test? You come up here, to this very astronaut conference room, and you bring your big binder full of all the tests you’ve passed. You knock on the door. Someone opens it, takes your binder, tosses it onto a side table, and you sit down at this big, round table with all the active astronauts.
“You talk for about an hour. When the time’s up, they say, ‘Okay, thanks for coming. They return your binder, and you leave.
“Then, after the door closes behind you, all the astronauts sit around that table and talk about whether or not they like you. And more importantly, whether or not they think you are likable. They also look at the reports and ratings from the people you’ve worked with during the process.
“And if you are not absolutely, genuinely likable — even if you’ve passed every single other test — you do not get to become an astronaut.”
I thought that was just tremendously interesting. And it really showed up in that room — they were all just the nicest people ever.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Luck.
But not in the way it sounds.
A few years ago, I was invited to give a speech at a startup conference in Canada, and the topic was luck. So I started digging into the research, and I discovered the work of a scientist named Richard Wiseman. Long story short, he studied luck extensively and found that believing you’re lucky actually makes you more likely to be lucky. Being open and observant makes you luckier, too.
And I feel like that’s what happened to me. I’ve made some dumb choices, sure — but I also stumbled into some brilliant ones, simply by being open and present.
For example, my entire career in tech and communication — everything that ultimately led to what I do now — started with pure luck. I graduated during a time when the best job most people hoped for was asking, “Would you like fries with that?”
In college, a friend of mine got a gig as the night watchman at the library so he could do homework while working. I was so jealous. I begged him to help me find something similar. A few days later, he came back and said, “John, there’s this job at the computer lab. It’s the first-ever Macintosh lab connected to the internet. You should apply.”
I didn’t know a thing about computers. But he showed me just enough — how to open a Word doc, save it, where to find it again. That was enough to get the job. And that job launched everything. That was pure luck. Thank you, Thorsten.
Perseverance.
The second thing is perseverance — and I mean relentless perseverance.
The only reason I even resemble something successful today is because I didn’t give up about a million times. Just before I started doing what I do now, I was in $50,000 of debt. I’d lost my job, which hadn’t paid much to begin with, and all my stock options had turned into nothing.
I started this business, and for the first year, I went even deeper into debt. The second year, I nearly broke even. The third year? I made more than I ever had in my entire life. The next year, I doubled that. Then I tripled it. And it’s bounced around up there ever since.
But even over the last 15 years, I’ve had moments so dark, so discouraging, I’ve thought, This will never work. I should just give up. But I didn’t. I kept going.
Love.
The third thing is love.
It might sound cheesy, so I’ll tell you a story.
I got to meet Simon Sinek at TED one year, and we had this incredible 45-minute conversation. He’s as delightful as you’d expect. He helped me articulate my why:
To bring out what’s awesome inside every person so it can live in the world and make a real difference.
Afterward, I called a good friend — someone I hadn’t talked to in a while, but we’d been close since junior high. I told him how excited I was, and I shared my why. And he said something that moved me deeply:
“John, that’s who you’ve always been. You’ve always loved people. You’ve always wanted to bring out the best in them. I remember all the times you helped me — and others. That’s just you.”
He brought up story after story I had forgotten. And it hit me: this wasn’t something I’d just discovered. It was something I’d always lived. And now, I get to do it professionally — and rigorously — and watch it change lives.
I still pinch myself.
Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define an “Effective Communicator?” What are the characteristics of an effective communicator?
At Executive Speaking Success, we define an effective communicator as someone who “consistently causes notable, meaningful things to happen in the world, through their words, their presence, and their leadership.”
It’s not just about speaking confidently, or clearly, or loudly. It’s about causing real-world outcomes. Being able to move people to action. An effective communicator inspires action, builds trust, aligns teams, and moves ideas forward.
At its core I’d say that effective communication is the ability to:
- Connect authentically with human beings — any and all human beings.
- Translate complex ideas into clear, simple compelling messages.
- Generate and lead conversations that inspire transformation, not just deliver information.
- Ultimately, I believe it is the commitment and ability to align your impact with your intent, so what you mean to say is what people actually hear.
And here’s the key: it’s not logical, it’s bio-logical. Communication is much more than words — it’s about the neurobiology of connection, trust, and understanding.
Our team believes that when you understand how humans actually receive and respond to communication, you unlock your ability to lead with influence, impact and empathy. That’s what we teach. And I think that’s what makes someone truly effective.
How can one tailor their communication style to different audiences or situations?
I discover for myself that the first step is being willing to take responsibility — not just for what you say, but for how it actually lands.
I remember when it hit me: I was obsessed with checking the box that said, “I told you so.”
“Oh, I told you.”
“I warned you.”
“You should’ve listened.”
But one day, it dawned on me: if I’m checking the “I told you so” box, that means… I didn’t get what I wanted. It’s a bitter little booby prize. I may have said the right thing, but it didn’t work. It didn’t land.
That’s when I started focusing on a different box: “I landed it over there.”
And everything changed.
Once I took that on, I started doing things differently. I got to know my audience better — before I even opened my mouth. And when they spoke, I listened like crazy, because I was the one on the hook — not them. And I would check in with them to hear what they had to say so I could analyze whether I thought I had landed it or not.
I started considering all the things I had overlooked before:
- Where are they mentally?
- What is going on for them physically?
- What are they thinking?
- What context are they bringing into the room?
Once I shifted my focus from “Here’s what I said,” to “Did I land it over there?”, my life changed. And the results were amazing.
Can you provide an example of a time when you had to adapt your communication style to reach a particular audience successfully?
There have been many times when I’ve had to adapt my communication style to suit a particular audience. In fact, I think I actually do it every time. One example that stands out is when I spoke to the Brussels Trade Commission — a massive room full of business professionals from Brussels. They spoke English very well, but I realized quickly that my usual delivery was a bit too fast for them. I had to slow down, enunciate and think carefully about what I was saying. Were there any purely American references they might not understand? I had to be intentional, not just about what I said, but how I said it.
But one of my favorite stories about adapting my communication — and truly taking responsibility for what my audience would hear — happened in Estonia.
I was working with the American Chamber of Commerce, training several companies there, and I had a free weekend. The woman who brought me over said, “John, I know you’re excited to explore Tallinn and try our new craft breweries and all, but would you be willing to speak to a group on Saturday morning called the Unicorns?”
She explained that they were a group of young women, 12–16 years old, who were the future leaders of Estonia, driven, brilliant, and eager to learn. I said, “Of course! I’d love to.”
But then I started thinking: when I was 12 to 16 years old, a lot of amazing people told me great things… and I ignored them. So how could I make sure these young women didn’t tune me out? How could I get them to really pull this information toward themselves?
Saturday morning came, and I did something I never do. In fact, I tell my clients not to ever, ever do this. But sometimes, you’ve got to know the rules to know when to break them.
I walked to the front of this room full of about a hundred young women sitting on bean bags, chairs, and couches, and I said:
“Good morning. It’s a real honor to be here today because I know who you are. You’re the Unicorns — the young women who are going to be running Estonia in a few years — and it’s incredible to be with you. But I have to admit… I don’t really know why you invited me.
“I mean, I’m an older white guy from America. You’re a bunch of young women from Estonia. I’m not exactly sure why you invited me.”
The room went totally quiet. They looked at me like I’d just grown two more heads.
Then, a young woman in the front sat up on her bean bag, put her hands on her hips, and said:
“Mr. Bates, you train the NASA astronauts. You train Johnson & Johnson, Boston Scientific, Google, Intuit… We want to know what you teach them.”
And I said, “Oh! Okay. That sounds great. Does that sound good to the rest of you?”
They all nodded enthusiastically, giving me a look like I was a little bit dense, and I said, “Alright then — let’s get into it.”
And what followed was one of the greatest mornings of coaching and teaching I’ve ever had. They were engaged, enthusiastic, pulling the content toward themselves. That unorthodox opening helped align them around why they were there and what they wanted to get out of it.
And I’ve got to say, I was pretty proud of myself.
How do you handle difficult or sensitive conversations while maintaining open and effective communication?
There are two big pieces for me. First, I let go of all the added freight and meaning that I can. I found that I, and most people, bring a lot of extra meaning to difficult or sensitive conversations. Things like: What if this destroys our relationship? Oh, my gosh, this is so embarrassing. What will they think of me? Things like that. So, number one, I let that stuff go as much as possible. I go in offering. I let go of being right. I just want to make a difference. And I do pretty much the same when I’m on the receiving end, too.
And the second thing that helps me is a distinction I made up for myself, which I share with all of my clients, business owners, top executives, up-and-coming leaders, everyone. And the distinction is the difference between Nice and Kind. I decided that there was a big difference between being Nice vs. being Kind.
Telling someone their presentation missed the mark isn’t “nice,” but it is “kind,” because it gives them a chance to improve. It takes something to have that conversation and I’m willing to be uncomfortable because of what it provides!
So, I let go of all of the extra meaning. I have a commitment to being kind over nice and I focus on the action, the behavior, the thing we’re talking about instead of making everything about me, or them and our worth and our value and all those things that it’s not really about.
In your experience, how does storytelling play a role in impactful speaking? Why do you think stories are effective in communication?
I got some great advice about communication and leadership a long time ago, and it stuck with me:
Never tell a story without a point. And never make a point without a story.
And really, storytelling has a MAJOR role… the leading role, in speaking. If you want to land a point — if you want people to remember it, to connect with it, and act on it — you’ve got to bring stories into your communication.
Here’s why I believe stories are so effective and important:
They’re not just “once upon a time” and “happily ever after.” Stories are how we share our actual, meaningful experiences.
For the past 500,000 years — ever since we’ve been anatomically human — virtually everything important came to us in the form of a story.
How to brew beer.
How to build tools.
How to hunt, gather, survive.
How to farm… Everything!
It all came through stories.
And because of that, our brains have evolved to highly value stories — more than any other form of information.
That is why people are so moved by stories.
They remember stories.
They act because of stories.
For most of human history, storytelling wasn’t just entertainment or education; it was the single key to our survival.
What are your “5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator”?
1 . It is about what they hear, not what you meant.
For a long time, I did a lot of press. I was in a lot of articles, I was on TV frequently — and I got misquoted a lot.
Naturally, I’d complain about it with other people in similar positions. We’d grumble about the reporters, their mistakes, and wonder why they couldn’t just get it right.
Then one day, it hit me: instead of being right about all that, what I really wanted was to not be misquoted.
So I started taking full responsibility for how my words landed — with them.
It didn’t matter what I meant to say.
What mattered was what they heard.
And once I took that on, everything changed. I almost never got misquoted again.
And the few times I have been misquoted since? It was actually flattering — like they misquoted me in a way that made me sound better — unlike most misquotes before! And even then, it was easy to reach back out, clarify what I actually said, and get it corrected.
Taking responsibility for landing your message doesn’t just protect you — it empowers you. And, this is the place to begin if you’re truly interested in becoming an Effective Communicator.
2 . Lead with Stories to Land your Points
I believe that the stories leaders tell are the myths that shape the mythology of their corporate culture. Storytelling is one of the most powerful — and underutilized — ways for leaders to communicate their values and demonstrate those values in action.
When you want to make a point, tell a story that illustrates it.
Don’t just stand up and dump five bullet points on your audience. Instead, find a short story that embodies each of those points. When you do that, those ideas get remembered. They get internalized. People live by them.
And here’s the great part: one story can make multiple points.
But when you tell a story, make sure you also tell us the point. Don’t leave that to chance.
Let me practice what I preach and share a quick story.
When I first started doing my training, I was coaching a woman — an amazing speaker with a powerful story. But as I was giving her feedback, I heard myself say, “You’ve got a great story, but you’re not bringing us into it. You’re just telling us about it.”
And in that moment, it hit me: I was doing the same thing in my training.
I was telling people what to do… but I wasn’t showing them. I wasn’t demonstrating it. I wasn’t living my own advice. I was not walking my own talk!
That night, I stayed up late redoing my training to make sure I was always modeling the very things I was coaching them to do.
The very next time I delivered that updated training — at a TEDx training, for free, several people came up afterward and said, “John, that was fantastic. Will you come do that for my company?”
That’s the value of walking your talk.
And that’s the power of stories.
And hopefully, that story illustrates why stories matter.
3 . Understand that Communicating with Human Beings is NOT Logical. It’s BIO-logical.
Have you ever seen someone who’s clearly brilliant, very logical, buttoned-down, with tons of great research and data, and yet as they speak the entire room is checked out?
People are falling asleep.
Checking their phones.
Wishing they were anywhere else.
Not listening — even though the content should be compelling.
That is an example of why I always say:
To be an effective communicator, you must understand that communicating with human beings is not logical… It’s bio-logical.
If you haven’t created an emotional connection, all the logic in the world will just bounce off.
Your data? Your research? Your airtight arguments? It will all bounce off without an emotional connection first.
You must have an emotional connection if you want your logic to matter.
And sure, some people might argue with that.
However, I’d argue that they’re probably not the most effective communicators.
(LOL 😀)
4 . Slow Down for Impact
One of the most overlooked skills in communication (maybe because it can be uncomfortable) is the ability to pause, and let things land. And to speak at a conversational pace.
Especially when when your heart is racing… because you’re nervous, or passionate or speaking to an international or high-stakes audience, it’s easy to rush. I’ve done it myself. I remember speaking at a very big event in Holland. There were business leaders from all over the globe, thousands of students, and even royalty in the room. But I realized quickly that I was speaking way too fast because I was so nervous. I took a deep breath. I paused and felt uncomfortable, and then I kept going at a nice, conversational pace and I ended up getting a fantastic reception, which would not have happened if I hadn’t slowed down! it worked. I connected. They leaned in.
I remember working on an early speech with my Dad. As I did a practice run he shouted out, “Whoa, whoa, whoa there buckaroo! S-l-o-w down! I can’t listen that fast!” And it’s not that he couldn’t keep up, it was much more that things didn’t have time to land!
If your listeners are working hard to keep up, they’re not absorbing your message.
Slow down.
Let your points land and be absorbed.
Give people time to receive and process what you’re saying to them.
5 . Connect First, Then Communicate
A common mistake I see — even in senior leaders — is jumping straight into transmission without first establishing a connection.
I remember when I was fundraising for my dot-com company, BigAwards.com. My partner Matt and I were driving all over Silicon Valley, pitching everyone we could — and getting nowhere.
We had a great idea. They thought it was a great idea. But no one would commit. No one was taking the next step.
Finally, I turned to Matt and said, “Matt, let’s stop jumping straight into the PowerPoint. We’re walking in cold, running through our business plan, and it’s just not landing. There’s no connection. Let’s make sure we’re connected before we pitch.”
And Matt said, “Even better — let’s skip the PowerPoint altogether. We’ll walk in, sit down, and we won’t even start sketching out the idea on a napkin until we’ve made an emotional connection. We’ll tell them, ‘We’re pre-PowerPoint.’”
So that’s what we did.
And immediately, all the back channels in Silicon Valley lit up. Everyone was talking about us. People were calling each other, saying, “Have you heard about these guys?” Suddenly, we were on the map. It was wild.
And soon we had secured our first round of funding.
Why? Because we stopped leading with information… and started leading with connection.
Even venture capitalists — who will tell you they’re all about the numbers, all about the data — are human beings. They’ll say, “We’re not emotional, just show us the business plan.” But that’s not really how it works.
To succeed with them, or anyone, you have to connect first.
Then communicate.
How do you integrate non-verbal cues into your communication? Can you provide an example of its importance?
One of the biggest ways I integrate nonverbal cues into my communication is by getting really clear with myself before I ever walk on stage.
I ask myself two questions:
1. Who am I going to be for this audience?
2. Who are they going to be for me?
Instead of walking in thinking, I’m not good enough. I’m too old. I’m too fat. They won’t listen. They think they’re smarter than me. They’re going to judge me…
I set all that aside.
I focus on what inspires me.
When I look at the audience, I choose to see people who are curious, courageous, and want to make a difference.
And who I am when I walk out there is:
“The Drill Instructor for Your Greatness,” over there in your world, and playful mastery.
And I’ll tell you — when I walk out like that, rather than the self-doubting version? It goes much, much better!
Here’s why this matters:
People often debate the percentage of communication that is nonverbal.
“John, your non-verbal communication is75% of everything you say!”
“No, it’s 60%!”
“No, no — it’s 80%!”
But I think that’s a silly way to look at it. It’s not actually a part of what you say at all!
A far more powerful way to understand it is that your nonverbal communication is 100% of the context within which everything you say gets heard.
So, if you walk out looking nervous, eyes darting, shoulders slouched, full of anxious energy — your words will land very differently than if you walk out calm, centered, smiling, and congruent.
Your body language should match your message — not leak nervousness that undermines it.
Because people don’t just hear your words.
They read your entire presence.
How has digital communication changed the way you convey your messages? Are there any specific challenges or advantages you’ve encountered?
Digital communication has had a significant impact on both my work and my life.
It has definitely increased my reach and expanded my audience. However, it’s also made me a little lonelier.
I love being in rooms with people. I love in-person training. And while I still do a fair amount of it, it’s not as frequent as it used to be.
One of the biggest changes has been learning how to truly connect through a camera lens.
Over the past five years, I’ve spent a lot of time practicing how to see the people I love and want to reach — not just that cold, black, unmoving camera eye. Whether I’m doing online keynotes, presentations, or Zoom sessions, I’ve learned how to bring presence and connection through the screen.
And here’s something I think every leader should know:
Your online presence is now a huge part of your leadership presence.
Understanding the difference between being in a room and being on camera is essential. It matters for leaders. It matters for speakers. It matters for event hosts — whether they’re in person, hybrid, or fully digital.
Each format has its advantages and disadvantages.
One thing I love about digital? No travel time.
One thing I miss? Far fewer handshakes, hugs, and high fives.
But this is the world we’re in. And knowing how to show up well on video — how to amplify your leadership presence through a camera — is no longer optional.
It’s a non-negotiable skill.
Public speaking is a common fear. What techniques or strategies do you recommend to manage and overcome stage fright?
I got some of the greatest advice of my life from two very different sources. I think they were saying the exact same thing, but they said it in very different ways.
The first one was none other than Snoop Doggy Dogg. (No joke. For real.)
Snoop said:
“Don’t be nervous. Be at their service.”
Simple. Direct. Brilliant. He’s a poet, after all.
The second version came from Candice Morgan, one of the top leadership coaches on the planet. She said the same thing, but with a little more meat on the bones.
She told me:
“John, if you get up on stage and you have your attention on yourself, then you’re focused on a minor ball of petty concerns that are of no real interest to anyone but you.” (Ouch. But it’s true.)
She went on:
“But if you get up there with your attention on your audience… on your message… on the difference you’re there to make… and the difference they will make in the lives of others because of what you share, now your attention is on something worth thinking about.”
So whether it’s Snoop’s version or Candice’s… the message is clear: Don’t be nervous. Be at their service.
What additional resources do you recommend for individuals looking to improve communication skills?
Of course they can grab my very short and pithy book: Your Amazing Itty Bitty Guide to Being TED-Worthy: 15 Essential Secrets of Successful Speaking Based in Human Neurobiology
They can also visit my website ExecutiveSpeakingSuccess.com and sign up for my weekly micro-trainings that come out every Sunday morning and help people build a strong, effective leadership communications habit — they can get them for free.
I’ve also got a lot of free, short training videos and some playlists of great TED Talks and some talks to learn from at youtube.com/execspeaking
And, if you can get your hands on The Columbian Orator it’s a message from the past about a trait that is vanishing in our present: eloquence.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Well, I’m a huge fan of bed nets in places that have malaria. I love that it’s so simple and so effective. And, my calling and focus is on the highest consciousness people who have the most impact on the world. So, my movement would be a gathering of top leaders and influencers and thinkers who would focus on not only what the world needs most urgently, but also on how to craft the communications that would make that possible. I believe that a lot of our current problems exist because the most brilliant thinkers are often not the most brilliant communicators!
How can our readers further follow you online?
https://executivespeakingsuccess.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnbates/
https://www.instagram.com/johnkbates/
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Impactful Communication: John Bates Of ExecutiveSpeakingSuccess On 5 Essential Techniques for Be was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.