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Zarifa Reynolds Of Royal Neighbors of America: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership

An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti

Supporting career growth and development is the fourth dimension. Recognizing where individuals are on their career journey and providing empathetic guidance fosters a sense of progress and accomplishment, so employees feel supported and valued. This also fosters a sense of accomplishment and job satisfaction.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is increasingly recognized as a pivotal leadership trait. In an ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who exhibit genuine empathy are better equipped to connect, inspire, and drive their teams towards success. But how exactly does empathy shape leadership dynamics? How can it be harnessed to foster stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and a more inclusive work environment? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Zarifa Reynolds, CEO and President of Royal Neighbors of America.

Zarifa Brown Reynolds, the CEO and President of Royal Neighbors of America, is a mission-driven and transformational executive known for her exceptional leadership in team building, talent development, and the strategic expansion of businesses for profitable growth. With a profound commitment to the mission of Royal Neighbors, Zarifa brings a wealth of experience from her previous role as an executive at Guardian Life Insurance Company, where she led a national sales team supporting small businesses with health and life insurance products and spearheaded various aspects of general management. Before her tenure at Guardian, Zarifa played a pivotal role in corporate development at Teachers Insurance and Annuity Association of America, where she worked on multi-billion-dollar acquisition and financing transactions. With a strong legal foundation established at the law firms Greenberg Traurig and Shearman & Sterling, Zarifa holds a Juris Doctor from Harvard Law School and a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Brown University. Actively contributing to her community, she serves on the ACLI Forum 500 Board and the boards of KIPP Miami Charter School and the Harvard Law School Association of New York City. Zarifa’s exemplary track record reflects her unwavering passion for service and her ability to drive strategic initiatives that make a lasting impact. Married to Cedrick for almost 20 years and mother of two children, Zarifa resides in Florida, enjoys tennis and golf, volunteering, and spending time with her family.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I grew up in Liberty City, Miami, and education meant everything to me. It was my ticket out of a neighborhood with limited opportunities and safety concerns. Despite the challenges of living in a poor and crime-ridden area, I was fortunate enough to leave because someone recognized my potential. In high school, I became student body president and student representative to the Dade County School Board, sitting alongside elected officials. All the high schools had a student body president, and I was the one representing the entire county — Dade County, the fourth-largest school district in the nation as the student representative for the school board. The board meetings were televised, and I couldn’t help but focus on educational disparities. Having experienced both my poor neighborhood and the privileged community where I attended school part of the time, I couldn’t understand why there weren’t more opportunities for kids of all backgrounds. Almost none of the kids I grew up with have had the same opportunities I had been given. As a result, I wanted to be like Thurgood Marshall, not just advocating for access and integration of schools, but ensuring that the quality of education in all communities was comparable. My passion for education remains strong.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

I kicked off my career as a lawyer — did undergrad, law school, the whole shebang. Thurgood Marshall was my hero, and his game-changing work on Brown vs. Board of Education inspired me. I grew up in inner-city Miami, got to attend schools that had more resources than my inner-city neighborhood school, and thought, “I want to be Thurgood.” But life doesn’t always follow the script. Despite practicing law for approximately 15 years — big New York firms, Wall Street Journal transactions, the whole deal — I wasn’t feeling it. Then, about a decade ago, I found myself on the brink of a massive acquisition, working directly for the General Counsel of a Fortune 100 company. He saw potential in me and wanted me to be his protege. One day, right before closing this big deal, he’s all serious, talking succession, and I drop the bomb — “I don’t really want to be a lawyer.” Surprise, right? After a suspenseful pause, he asks, “What do you want to do?” So, I just laid it out there. “I want to be the client and be on the business side, in the action of M&A, not just papering transactions.” Another pause, and he says, “We can make that happen.” He followed up with a game plan on how he wanted me to transition. Long story short, I took a leap, put my career on the line, and he delivered on his promise. Six months later, I left law behind, got additional training, and here I am, doing work that feels way more meaningful. Moral of the story: speaking up and finding someone willing to invest in your pivot can change everything.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

I was initially drawn to Royal Neighbors by the compelling historical narrative of its founding members. The organization was pioneered by fearless women who could not get insurance. They stood up, paved the way, and built something lasting for over a century. As one of six sisters in a household imbued with a culture of female empowerment, I resonate deeply with the communal support for women. I get it. My sisters are all rock stars — doctors, PhDs, doing incredible stuff. That sense of community support for women; that really hits home for me.

In addition, the organization’s mission resonates with me on a profound level. The commitment to ensuring the well-being of women and serving communities aligns with my personal values. Having accrued considerable experience in the insurance industry, I recognize the foundational role of insurance in providing individuals with a sense of security. Growing up in an environment marked by insecurity, my proclivity leans toward endeavors that counterbalance such uncertainties, whether in the realms of education or financial stability. Royal Neighbors distinguishes itself by focusing on individuals often overlooked by other insurance entities, particularly with our flagship life insurance product that provides affordable coverage and is tailored for those typically neglected by the industry. Emerging from a modest background, I attach great importance to considering and supporting those who are often overlooked. I take pride in contributing to an organization that not only addresses a historical gap in coverage for women but also extends its reach to the lower and lower-middle-income segments of our society, often underserved by conventional providers.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

First, curiosity is a big driver for me. I’m naturally inquisitive about pretty much everything, and that curiosity played a significant role in my transition from being a lawyer to diving into the insurance and business realm. Unlike my legal days, I don’t just want to grasp my little piece of the puzzle; I want to understand the entire game. Take, for instance, a joint venture partnership on an HSA product during my lawyering days — I wasn’t satisfied with just handling the paperwork. I delved into the nitty-gritty, understanding why HSAs are triple tax advantaged, how to communicate their value, and the best ways for people to save. It’s this deep curiosity that has served me well throughout my career.

Secondly, I see myself as a servant leader. When working with people, I don’t view it as them working for me, but rather with me. My focus is on empowering individuals to bring out their best for the organization. It involves asking questions, giving direction, and leaning into people’s natural strengths to create a strategic alignment. I believe the real power lies in collective effort, where everyone, whether at Royal Neighbors or those leading Royal Neighbors Chapters, contributes to the organization’s impact. It’s all about empowerment.

Lastly, I thrive on helping people. Whether it’s working with a food pantry or assisting a colleague with a project, I find my groove when I know I’m making a difference. Even in the complex world of insurance, breaking down the intricacies for others is where I feel most engaged. If I’m not feeling the impact of helping others, my interest tends to wane. So, curiosity, servant leadership, and a passion for making a positive impact — those are the key ingredients that drive me.

Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.

One of the recent challenges for many leaders, including CEOs, is navigating the return-to-work decision. I faced this dilemma early in my tenure at Royal Neighbors. Initially, I leaned towards a more in-office approach, differing from the historical norm. To influence the return-to-work policy, which was trending towards a hybrid model, I prioritized building relationships with the decision-makers. Understanding their perspective was crucial, prompting me to listen and comprehend the reasoning behind their choices. As I listened, I began to understand that the company demonstrated high productivity, surpassed sales goals, and achieved positive engagement and workplace satisfaction ratings and therefore the hybrid work model was working well. By empathetically considering others’ viewpoints, fostering understanding, and maintaining open communication, we collectively reached the decision to continue with our successful hybrid work model.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?

Empathy, to me, is more than just putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s about making sure they know you’re right there with them. Anyone can say, “I understand what you’re going through,” but true empathy is when the person you’re engaging with genuinely feels that you get it. It’s not about you claiming to provide empathy; it’s about them feeling it in the interaction.

When I landed at Royal Neighbors, a whole new ballgame for me in the Midwest, leading an organization where I knew no one, the first crucial step was making myself vulnerable. Building true empathy, in my book, starts with establishing personal connections. You can’t authentically empathize with someone if you don’t know them on a personal level. So, step one is all about listening — not just to hear, but to understand and find common ground. Building that foundational relationship is key.

Take, for instance, a situation where I’m working with women facing childcare challenges. It’s not enough to say, “I get it; I have kids too.” They need to believe that my life experiences are intertwined with theirs. When I tell them it’s okay to handle something later or at an odd hour, they should trust that I genuinely mean it. My actions must reflect this when the assignment is delivered later in the day. That trust built through relationships and actions is the essence of true empathy.

Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship in your organization?

Recently, our team and I took a deep dive into reprioritizing our product portfolio on the whole life and annuity side. Initially, the plan was all about developing an electronic application for a seamless app experience for our life product. However, given the current landscape in 2023, with interest rates and market opportunities aligning favorably for our annuity product, we found ourselves rethinking our focus.

The challenge? Shifting gears from the initially planned single premium whole life product to prioritizing annuities. Exercising empathy became the linchpin in navigating this. I had to listen to everyone’s viewpoint, foster dialogue among the team, and guide us towards a decision that made the most sense for the organization.

We all faced the tough task of communicating the shift, acknowledging that all the hard work put in for the past six months would be temporarily shelved. It was a necessary pivot, but one that came with its share of frustrations. Once we worked through those emotions, the team rallied behind the decision. The key was acknowledging the real investment — time, energy, and effort — that everyone had put in and ensuring they felt heard.

These situations are practically a daily occurrence, and they demand constant communication and decision-making. Empathy remains at the forefront throughout. Recognizing and addressing the frustration people feel when their hard work takes an unexpected turn is vital. It’s about ensuring they bring that same level of enthusiasm to the next project, even if it means pivoting. Empathy in these moments isn’t just a feel-good gesture; it’s a strategic move to keep the team’s dedication at 110%.

How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?

At an organization like Royal Neighbors, where our mission revolves around insuring lives, supporting women, and serving communities, the driving force is always the impact. Everyone is on board with working on projects that make the most significant difference to those in need. Our life insurance products and simplified fixed annuity products target underserved communities and align well with our mission.

When we hit tricky points or face tough decisions, we take a step back and refocus on why we’re here. Aligning ourselves with the shared mission and vision helps us overcome hurdles. Allowing time for diverse perspectives and empathizing with varying viewpoints is crucial, especially when individuals feel their work is being shelved.

Building personal relationships is key. I invest time in these connections and conduct pre- and post-calls during difficult decisions. In pre-calls, I address potential concerns, empathize during decision-making, and afterward, I follow up to acknowledge the feelings associated with the decision. Transparency is vital.

Throughout my time at the organization, I’ve seen the importance of returning to projects we’ve temporarily set aside. This builds goodwill and credibility. Empathy, for me, isn’t just about talking the talk; it’s about walking the walk. If I ask someone to make a tough decision, I follow through on my promises.

How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?

Sympathy has its place, especially when someone’s going through a tough time, but it’s not as deep or personal as empathy. Sympathy is more like, “I feel for you,” not necessarily understanding the intricacies of what someone is experiencing or why it’s challenging. I’ve used sympathy at work when someone’s facing personal struggles, showing that I care, but it doesn’t create that personal bond between us that is created through empathy.

On the flip side, empathy is like saying, “We’re in this together; I know what you’re going through, and we’ll navigate it as a team.” It’s a much closer connection, requiring leaders to embrace their own vulnerability. When you openly share your emotional investments, like admitting, “I put in three hours on this, and it bothers me too,” it builds trust and common ground.

Empathy is about establishing a trusted relationship, whereas sympathy is more like a surface-level, “I feel bad for you” sentiment. Trust is the linchpin here, and for me, true empathy isn’t just me saying it; it’s the other person genuinely believing that I empathize, and that takes time and trust.

What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?

I make a conscious effort to foster empathetic relationships not only with the senior leadership team and my direct reports but throughout the entire organization. This involves skip-level conversations, casual lunches, or coffee chats with individuals recommended by their leaders. I aim to keep an open-door policy, reserving Fridays for more informal discussions. We also engage in social activities like volunteering, attending ballgames, and hosting events such as picnics and holiday parties. These social interactions lay the groundwork for genuine connections, ensuring that when empathetic conversations are needed, people truly believe in the sincerity of my understanding. Building relationships through both professional and social avenues is key to navigating empathetic discussions effectively.

How can empathy help leaders navigate the complexities of leading diverse teams and ensure inclusivity?

When you lead with empathy, it’s all about fostering a culture where everyone feels free to voice their unique perspectives. Diversity in experiences, especially across different disciplines, adds richness to the conversation.

Encouraging open and candid dialogue within the team is crucial. We recently tackled a product change, and it was important to let everyone speak up about their work on the project. Some argued to continue, while others highlighted the opportunity associated with making a different choice. For me, it was important to empathize with those who invested time in the previous project while steering toward the best decision for the organization.

In our discussions, we emphasize respectful disagreement. We often say we can disagree, but we don’t have to be disagreeable. Acknowledging feelings is key — sometimes, in larger group meetings, I’ll bring up a perspective shared in a pre-call to ensure we consider all viewpoints. It’s about being honest and transparent about your viewpoint, recognizing that the room is filled with diverse perspectives from heads of product, sales, and more. It’s a balancing act to show up with empathy and honesty, ensuring everyone’s voice is heard.

What’s your approach to ensuring that succession planning is a holistic process, and not just confined to the top layers of management? How do you communicate this philosophy through the organization?

When it comes to leadership, a couple of key factors come into play. Firstly, leading by example is crucial. It sets the tone for the team. Secondly, our evaluation process considers both the “what” and the “how” of individuals’ performance. It’s not just about the task at hand but also the approach taken. By incorporating this into our performance assessments, we encourage everyone to reflect on their empathetic engagement in conversations and relationships. Lastly, we prioritize coaching for team members, both through manager relationships and external coaching. I’ve personally benefited from external coaches who helped me refine my style and navigate challenges. Sometimes an external perspective is the key to aligning personal perspectives with the needs of the organization.

Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?

  1. Empathy plays a pivotal role in leadership, and I’ll break down five key aspects. First and foremost, it’s about getting to know people, both formally and informally. Both formal assessments, such as the TTI assessment, and informal interactions contribute to this. The TTI assessment, for instance, delves into what drives individuals, understanding their motivations, communication preferences, and more. Informal conversations provide opportunities to learn about personal circumstances. For instance, accommodating a team member’s need to spend extended time with far-away parents resulted in a stronger connection between us.
  2. The second element revolves around encouraging dialogue and active listening. Seeking diverse perspectives in decision-making enhances the quality of choices. Even when disagreements arise, maintaining empathy ensures a respectful exchange of ideas, and fosters a culture where individuals feel valued and heard.
  3. The third facet consists of involving the team in strategic ideation and decision-making. Collaboratively setting and refreshing strategic goals aligns the team and facilitates smoother decision-making based on shared objectives. It also makes a difference when there is a need to break deadlocks.
  4. Supporting career growth and development is the fourth dimension. Recognizing where individuals are on their career journey and providing empathetic guidance fosters a sense of progress and accomplishment, so employees feel supported and valued. This also fosters a sense of accomplishment and job satisfaction.
  5. Lastly, supporting empathy throughout the organization is crucial. This involves a personal leadership style, skip-level conversations, and an evaluation process that values not just what people do but how they do it. Leadership style sets the tone for empathy within an organization, influencing a culture where understanding and collaboration thrive. Engaging in skip-level conversations allows leaders to connect with team members who may not interact with them daily. This personal touch contributes to a more empathetic organizational culture. Incorporating empathy into the evaluation process reinforces the importance of empathetic behavior across all levels.

By actively addressing these five dimensions, leaders can cultivate a culture of empathy that positively impacts team dynamics, decision-making processes, and the overall well-being of the organization.

Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?

Navigating the terrain of empathetic leadership has its potential pitfalls, and a primary concern is ensuring timely decision-making and effective communication. While empathy thrives on engaging conversations and understanding, the ultimate responsibility is to arrive at decisions and convey them adeptly to all relevant parties. Striking a balance between an empathetic framework and the pragmatic demands of running a business is crucial. There are instances where decisions may not be universally popular, resulting in some fallout. In such cases, the leader must resiliently guide the team forward, even when faced with dissenting opinions. An illustrative example is our strategic shift towards emphasizing annuity products over single premium whole life — which we hoped would quadruple our annuity sales. The reality is that we will double our annuity sales in 2023. The key takeaway is that setting ambitious goals is crucial, and even if the original target isn’t met, it doesn’t diminish the success of the achieved milestones. Despite falling short of this ambitious target and doubling sales instead, the team collectively recognized the decision’s merit. Celebrating the achieved milestones, like doubling sales and projecting a significant increase for the next year, reinforces the notion that success isn’t solely defined by meeting every goal but also by making the right decisions at the right time. It underscores the importance of acknowledging achievements and adapting goals to the evolving context.

Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you awake at night? How do those thoughts influence your daily decision-making process?

There are two things that really keep me up at night. The first is ensuring the team stays aligned, motivated, and focused on delivering their best work every day. This involves constant communication and thoughtful consideration of our goals and priorities. With our new strategy, I make it a point to guide the team in effective prioritization, breaking down tasks into manageable chunks to avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed. The second concern, though not entirely within my control, is the larger economic landscape. Given the current interest rate environment and potential economic shifts, I stay vigilant, regularly checking sources like the Wall Street Journal to anticipate any macro-level impacts on our business, customers’ financial capacity, or their interest in our products. It’s about staying close to what’s beyond our control yet still within our sphere of influence in the broader economic context.

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You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

If I could spearhead a movement, my focus would be on financial literacy, particularly for kids starting at age 10. Picture this: breaking down the financial workings of the world, from understanding security and protection products to deciphering the intricacies of having a bank account, purchasing a home, or navigating the job market. My vision extends to creating a movement that revisits these crucial lessons every decade, ensuring everyone in society grows up with a roadmap for financial security and independence at each life stage — preteen, teenager, young adult in their 30s, and beyond. Personally, I’ve been fortunate to have friends spanning various age groups, allowing me to navigate life decade by decade, understanding each phase’s unique challenges and opportunities. This perspective helped me make intentional investments, like dedicating my younger years to growing my career and paying for childcare and housekeeping services, viewing it as an investment in my future decades. I believe many lack this roadmap, especially those not born into wealth, and my mission is to provide a clearer path for everyone to comprehend and embrace the journey on a macro level.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.


Zarifa Reynolds Of Royal Neighbors of America: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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