Workplace Conflict Resolution: Shannon Alter Of Leaders Exceed On How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts
An Interview With Eric Pines
Don’t forget the importance of holding one-on-one conversations with your team. Your job is to listen and help them frame exactly what to say in a tough conversation.
An important component of leadership is conflict resolution. Why is conflict resolution so important? How can leaders effectively incorporate conflict resolution into their work culture? In this interview series called “Workplace Conflict Resolution: How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts,” we are talking to business leaders who can share insights and anecdotes from their experience about how to implement Conflict Resolution at work. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Shannon Alter.
Shannon Alter, CPM ® works with organizations that want to communicate with clarity so they can gain influence in their market, build better relationships and grow their business. She has over 30 years of experience in commercial and retail real estate management and hospitality. Her programs have been used throughout the United States and internationally by organizations of all sizes.
Shannon is a National Instructor for the Institute of Real Estate Management (IREM®), and the American Management Association (AMA) and has trained professionals in 11 countries. She has held the volunteer position of RVP for IREM and is a Past President of IREM Orange County.
Her 3rd book, “Be Influential: Surefire Ways to Improve Your Presentation Skills” was published in Summer 2023. She is the author of two earlier books, leadership white papers and numerous industry articles, including a long-time industry column.
She is a graduate of the University of Southern California.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Sometimes career twists point us in a great new direction. I graduated from USC armed with a degree in Theatre and ready to roll — until my dad suggested I find a job that actually paid! My career has included work for a prominent hotel company, a shopping center developer, an anchor grocery tenant and a 1031 exchange syndicator- so it has been diversified to say the least. I now train and consult organizations and professionals on how they can communicate more clearly- including in those challenging conversations.
This has also given me a diversified viewpoint as I’ve been able to see different parts of the industry, different companies and different cultures. This has been an unexpected benefit in my own business, as I’ve had the opportunity to gain different perspectives that I can apply.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
There are so many! I’ve been fortunate to teach and train professionals in many different countries (both in person and virtual) and I can say that I always learn something new every time, even as the instructor.
There’s one story that I share time and time again, which also made an appearance in my latest book ‘Be Influential: Surefire Ways To Improve Your Presentation Skills’. At 21 years old I graduated from the University of Southern California armed with a degree but no job. My Dad told me to ‘look for a job that pays!’ So, I walked into a personnel agency to see what they had to offer. I was handed a checklist that listed different types of office equipment and was told to check off the equipment I could use proficiently, as if that’s all that mattered in the world of work.
Despite being prodded for my completed checklist, I couldn’t fill it in as my best skills didn’t even appear on the list! I was quickly ushered out of the door by the women who handed me the list. She looked me straight in the eye and said: ‘You’re nothing but another pretty face. You’ll never amount to anything!’
I mustered all the confidence I could, looked right back at her and said: ‘watch me!’
I’m grateful to her for saying ‘no’ to me that day. She helped me see that determination, confidence and preparation really do make all the difference. I didn’t know it then, but I learned an early lesson in how to be prepared and poised for things that don’t always go your way.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
Early on, my boss and mentor offered sage advice: “Real estate is a handshake kind of business. We want to shake your hand and look you in the eye- that’s how we earn trust and build relationships.” This was a while ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday and use this frequently to this day. I don’t know if handshakes are still a thing these days, but the advice still rings true.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
My clients tell me I’m relatable and approachable, and they like the fact that I’ve sat in their seat. People feel like they are sitting across the table from me (even if they aren’t) and they are comfortable talking with me.
Recently, I was coaching a leader for one of my clients, working with him for several months. Afterwards, the client thanked me for my work with this leader and how I was able to elevate his performance. He relayed,“I knew he had it in him, I just didn’t know how to draw it out. You did. ”
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each.
The three most instrumental character traits that have helped me get to where I am, are:
- The ability to pivot
- Having tenacity
- Turning setbacks into opportunities
Pivoting– the ability to pivot is key in any conversation, meeting or presentation. A few years ago I was leading a” train the trainer” session in India with an excellent group of professionals. My task was to train them on specific material to ensure their teaching and facilitation skills were up to par.
I had planned to demonstrate an overall summary of the courses we were going to be working through. However, I realized shortly into our discussion that the material was entirely new to this group and my original plan wasn’t going to work. I also realized that Plans A, B and C weren’t going to work either! I couldn’t pack everything in, so I decided to layer it by starting with the most important points of each course.
All was going well until…the lights went out! The office was completely dark and also very warm. I was able to teach via my laptop and use my colleague’s ipad for a while, until it got too hot. So, I decided to take it outside and teach from there until the power came back on! (it worked)
Tenacity — tenacity and resilience are two important factors in business success. For example, in any kind of real estate, there are cycles; the market goes up, it goes down, it vacillates. Eventually it settles out, you just have to wait.
I started my speaking business at the end of 2019, immediately prior to the global pandemic and the world being shut down. My clients were cancelling right and left, understandably, as no one knew quite what to do. Real estate managers were concerned with their properties, their tenants and their people, rather than with leadership meetings like the ones I lead.
However, by being tenacious and staying in touch with my clients and colleagues to see how I can help them has paid off. I have stayed in touch by providing useful information and tactics they can use, via newsletters, LinkedIn and direct contact.
Turning setbacks into opportunities — as I’ve already shared above, sometimes being told ‘no’ is the best thing that can happen to us. It can dent the ego at the time, but it sure does help you demonstrate what you’re made of and what you’re capable of. It ignites a different level of passion and motivates you to carry on, regardless of how many people say ‘no’ along the way. I believe that every ‘no’ moves you closer to a ‘yes’. Keep going and never give up.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does Conflict Resolution mean?
Conflict resolution means first understanding/defining what the issue really is so that we don’t answer the wrong problem. Conflict can be tough, because it hits our emotions. It’s helpful to determine what your own EQ (emotional intelligence) is and look at your own self-awareness, how you manage your emotions and how you look at and understand other people’s emotional intelligence.
It’s also crucial to understand what the barriers are to resolution — what will keep you from resolving the issue. Understanding what to say and how to say it is also key. When I work with clients, we rehearse and role play these conversations so that they’re not so uncomfortable when they play out in real life.
What are some common misunderstandings about Conflict Resolution that are important to clear up?
It’s easy to forget that conflict affects us every day. Where there are leaders there is bound to be conflict.
It takes practice to be able to handle challenging conversations. Avoidance is not always the best thing — if the issue is material and you avoid it, it will definitely come back.
Managing conflict can be a true opportunity to communicate better, earn trust and build better working relationships, but you have to work on it! When I work with clients on this topic, we use video as a tool to help them see/hear what a possible conversation looks like and how to improve on it. Conflict can feel scary, which is why I always get my clients to practise for different scenarios so that they feel totally prepared for any eventuality.
This might be intuitive to you, but it will be helpful to clearly express this. Can you please explain why it is so important for leaders to learn and deploy conflict resolution techniques?
This is important because whether we like it and embrace it or not, conflict is bound to occur. Generally speaking, when we avoid conflict or wait too long to try to resolve it, the worse it often gets. Sadly, it doesn’t just disappear!
On the flip side, what happens to a work culture when there is not an effective way of resolving conflict? How does it impact employees?
It definitely affects morale. If the conflict goes on and on, your employees will see and hear and also feel it. Conflict can create an unpleasant atmosphere that then leads to further problems within the team and their performance.
Can you provide examples of how effective conflict resolution has led to increased team performance, collaboration, or innovation within your organization?
Not long ago, I was working with a leader who wanted to improve her team’s ability to engage in a positive way. Her team was back in the office and one co-worker was upset because the employee next to him favoured food that he termed as having an odour, both at his desk and in the kitchen.
Someone else was concerned because her office neighbor was wearing highly scented perfume. And yet another was upset because he felt the person in the next cubicle was sloppily dressed and not adhering to the company dress code.
The employees didn’t talk with each other about these situations, they actively avoided them. But, what happened was that these team members were edgy and not entirely friendly with each other. In short, it was distracting in every way.
Here’s what happened: This leader wanted to call each of these employees into her office for a conversation. Instead, I suggested that at her next team meeting, she could ask two of her top leaders to run the meeting. Rather than calling her team on the carpet, these leaders could add a few items to their agenda (for example, back-in-the office dress code).
The result? This actually encouraged discussion and buy in from everyone and paved the way for further communication, discussion and buy in. In fact, the team came up with an idea for an office contest and people loved it.
What are your “Five Ways Every Team Leader Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts”? If you can, please share specific examples of a workplace conflict you’ve encountered, and how you applied conflict resolution techniques to address it.
1 . Create a safe environment where people are willing to have a conversation.
2 . Model genuine, transparent communication.
3 . Include conflict management in your employees’ professional development plan. If you don’t have one, now is the time to start.
4 . Invest in resources for your team, such as hiring a communications expert or executive coach to help them. Sometimes it’s good to have someone else working with a team on how to address conflict.
5 . Don’t forget the importance of holding one-on-one conversations with your team. Your job is to listen and help them frame exactly what to say in a tough conversation.
In your experience, what are the most common sources of conflict within a team, and how do you proactively address these potential issues before they escalate?
When it comes down to it, conflict often occurs when;
a) there is a lack of clear communication or none at all
b) there is no established culture and norms to handle conflict in an organization
c) team members do not feel there is a safe environment where they are encouraged to speak up.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
It would be travel related so that everyone can experience, and understand, other cultures and people.
How can our readers further follow you online?
https:// linkedin.com/in/shannonalter
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Eric L. Pines is a nationally recognized federal employment lawyer, mediator, and attorney business coach. He represents federal employees and acts as in-house counsel for over fifty thousand federal employees through his work as a federal employee labor union representative. A formal federal employee himself, Mr. Pines began his federal employment law career as in-house counsel for AFGE Local 1923 which is in Social Security Administration’s headquarters and is the largest federal union local in the world. He presently serves as AFGE 1923’s Chief Counsel as well as in-house counsel for all FEMA bargaining unit employees and numerous Department of Defense and Veteran Affairs unions.
While he and his firm specialize in representing federal employees from all federal agencies and in reference to virtually all federal employee matters, his firm has placed special attention on representing Veteran Affairs doctors and nurses hired under the authority of Title. He and his firm have a particular passion in representing disabled federal employees with their requests for medical and religious reasonable accommodations when those accommodations are warranted under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (ADA). He also represents them with their requests for Federal Employee Disability Retirement (OPM) when an accommodation would not be possible.
Mr. Pines has also served as a mediator for numerous federal agencies including serving a year as the Library of Congress’ in-house EEO Mediator. He has also served as an expert witness in federal court for federal employee matters. He has also worked as an EEO technical writer drafting hundreds of Final Agency Decisions for the federal sector.
Mr. Pines’ firm is headquartered in Houston, Texas and has offices in Baltimore, Maryland and Atlanta, Georgia. His first passion is his wife and five children. He plays classical and rock guitar and enjoys playing ice hockey, running, and biking. Please visit his websites at www.pinesfederal.com and www.toughinjurylawyers.com. He can also be reached at eric@pinesfederal.com.
Workplace Conflict Resolution: Shannon Alter Of Leaders Exceed On How Team Leaders Can Create The… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.