Unstoppable: How Ivy Kensinger Has Redefined Success While Navigating Society with A Severe Disability
An interview with Kelly Reeves
Not all spaces are accessible, and it can be very difficult for people with physical limitations to move around or even get to where they need to be. When you don’t have a physical disability, it can be hard to see when a place is not accessible and can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
As a part of our “Unstoppable” series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Ivy Kensinger.
Dr. Ivy Kensinger She has a degree in clinical psychology, which she earned after acquiring her disability. With her unique perspective on life and how things can change in an instant, she has dedicated her career to helping others.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! It is really an honor. Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
Of course. My name is Ivy and I have a doctorate degree in clinical psychology. My journey to this degree was a bit unique in that is happened after my acquired disability, and is so different from what I had been going to school for prior to my injuries. I was going to school intending on getting a degree in photojournalism so I could work interviewing bands, attending concerts, and writing about my experiences. I grew up around music. Some of my uncles are very accomplished musicians, so live music was always a part of visits. In high school, I was in the Concert Choir, was in a band, and most of the time spent with friends involved playing or listening to music. Making a career out of one of my favorite past-times would have been a lot of fun, but where I ended up is actually my true calling, and I love what I do.
Do you feel comfortable sharing with us the story surrounding how you became disabled or became ill?
Sure, I can tell you a little about it. I acquired my disability through a major car accident. Without giving too many details, I was the victim of a road-rage incident that caused me to go over a cliff and left me with many very serious injuries and in the hospital for a very prolonged period of time. Many of my injuries and issues that came up were unique or very hard to treat, and I was told that the nurses and physicians who were involved in my care learned a lot from my case. Even after I was released to go home, I still had and have many lasting effects from the injuries to my body. One of the most noticeable things is that I require the use of oxygen since my lungs were severely damaged. That will likely never go away, but I’ve come much farther than was ever expected and have surpassed most of the prognoses I have been given.
What mental shift did you make to not let that “stop you”?
I’ve always been a really stubborn person. If someone tells me I can’t do something, I almost instantly want to prove that I can — especially if I believe I can. I was given a lot of prognoses that I didn’t like and didn’t want to accept, so I fought hard against them. It got to the point where doctors stopped giving me a prognosis and instead of saying things that started off with “You won’t ever _____” or “People who have _____,” they started saying things that started off “It will be difficult to _____” and “We often see_____.” I also had a lot of family support. When the accident happened, my mom left her job working with special needs students at the high school I had attended in order to be there for me. My dad drove over an hour to and home from work each day, but still came to the hospital every night. My brother, who was in high school at the time, would visit on weekends and was a really good kid who didn’t get into trouble despite being left alone much of the time. All three of them took care of my cat, who I called my baby, and would bring home things I held onto for her so she could still smell me. That meant more to me than I can express. I also had several friends and extended family who would regularly show up, including my former French professor and another former professor who I formed good friendships with. My aunt and uncle were there almost weekly and would regularly bring their friends in who played different instruments or had some other talent to bring. That support meant everything, and provided so much more motivation that I would have had without it.
Can you tell our readers about the accomplishments you have been able to make despite your disability or illness?
About a year after I was released from the hospital, I told my mom I needed to go back to school. I didn’t want to waste away and do nothing with my life, so I went back and eventually earned my Doctorate of Psychology, or PsyD. I wanted to dedicate a part of myself to helping others, and I knew that having the unique perspective and experiences that I have in so many ways could be beneficial to those who are struggling. It was a slow process, or at least it felt like it was to me at the time, but I worked hard to complete my undergraduate degree and earn some experience by running a support group so I would be competitive when applying to graduate schools. I found a graduate program that offered what I was looking for: a doctorate degree in psychology with unique opportunities and experiences that offered certification in one of the areas I wanted to specialize in — LGBTQ+ Mental Health and Human Services. While in that program, I took extra courses to earn that certification, did additional clinical experience, including psychological testing, and obtained a coveted APA-accredited internship. When I graduated, I was a featured student at the recommendation of my mentor, who shared with me that it was one of his proudest moments when he placed the doctoral hood over my shoulders. Sometimes people tell me they would not have done everything that I had after my accident, but I honestly don’t feel like I did anything that someone else with determination and drive couldn’t have done.
What advice would you give to other people who have disabilities or limitations?
It’s ok to question your medical professionals, because they don’t and can’t know everything. It’s ok to not believe someone who tells you that you can’t do something and work for it despite the odds. It’s ok to have whatever feelings you are having, including being angry about your situation, and it’s ok to take a break when you need to. You are still allowed to have goals in life and to seek out what you want.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are?
My mom was by far my biggest supporter and my biggest help. Even before I was released from the hospital, she was doing a lot of my medical care, and once I was released, she was taking care of all of it. She supported me when I said I needed to go back to school and when I said I wanted to continue on to get a doctorate, even driving me to the places I need to be, making sure there was enough oxygen and other medical supplies available for whatever my needs were during the day. Without my mom, no matter how determined and driven I was, I know I could not have gotten to where I am today.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I feel like every patient I see, every fellow therapist I do a consultation with, and every friend who comes to me to listen are helping me to bringing goodness to the world. Living with a focus on acceptance, compassion, and equality — and bringing those values into my clinical practice — is part of bringing that goodness. Being there with someone when they are struggling and providing that support is beyond rewarding.
Can you share “5 things I wish people understood or knew about people with physical limitations” and why.
1 . We are just humans. When I was still wheelchair-bound, people who would not have gone out of their way to speak to me otherwise would come up and speak to me in what often felt like a very condescending way, as if they either needed to dumb things down or treat me with false kindness. All I wanted was to be treated as any other human.
2 . We face a lot of discrimination, even though it’s rarely talked about. There is a stigma about people with physical limitations, from employment to amusement parks and everywhere in between. Many employers see us as a liability or as someone they assume will take a lot of time off work. I actually had one person I interviewed with in the past say they were concerned about whether patients would be able to relate to me because of my disability. I found that shocking.
3 . Not all spaces are accessible, and it can be very difficult for people with physical limitations to move around or even get to where they need to be. When you don’t have a physical disability, it can be hard to see when a place is not accessible and can lead to misunderstandings and frustration.
4 . Society puts a lot of pressure on people with disabilities, especially acquired disabilities, to pretend like we are ok with everything and that we are happy all the time. This is unrealistic, unkind, and unreasonable. We have emotions just like anyone else, have our good days and bad days, and it is ok if we are upset about the ways our bodies work…and don’t work.
5 . Not everyone is ok with you asking about what happened to them, but many of us are. A question is always preferable to stares and assumptions. If you want to know what happened to someone, a good way to approach is “Is it ok if I ask what happened to you?” or “Is it ok if I ask about your disability?” Be prepared that the person may not want to answer, however, and please respect their choice.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”?
“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” — Morticia Addams
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this 🙂
Wow, there are actually a few of them. Unfortunately, some of passed on — David Bowie, Leonard Nimoy, and Betty White, to name a few — but I would love the opportunity to sit and talk with Keanu Reeves and Peter Hook. Both of them came from very humble beginnings and have never let their celebrity alter who they are. Keanu actively supports health care workers, people with severe and terminal illness, people who are impoverished, and educators. He is kind and humble, and uses his financial success to help benefit others without needing to boast about it. He is welcoming to people who come up to him when he is out in the world, and has had a great impact on many who were struggling. Peter lost someone very dear to him — Ian Curtis, who was the vocalist for Joy Division, the band that first brought him some fame — to suicide. Ian also suffered from pretty severe epilepsy and would often have seizures while performing. Peter has been very active in providing information about suicide prevention lifelines, such as voice calling and texting programs, and regularly posts these numbers on social media platforms. He also is part of the Epilepsy Society in the UK and regularly donates money and merchandise to help fund raising awareness, important research, and advocacy for people with epilepsy. Both of these men bring so much to the world, and I truly appreciate them as people.
Thank you so much for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you continued success and good health!
Unstoppable: How Ivy Kensinger Has Redefined Success While Navigating Society with A Severe… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.