An Interview with Maria Angelova
Pitch yourself to someone you don’t know. I love the content that Merman Productions puts out and I once cold emailed them, asking for a job. In hindsight, my note was overly effusive and bordered on desperate (I really, REALLY like their work), but I have no regrets. Nothing came of it, but sometimes you have to take a big swing and see what happens.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Trinette Faint.
Trinette Faint is a writer, model, actress, and creative entrepreneur. She is the first grand prize winner of Harper’s Bazaar’s Fabulous At Every Age contest, is the author of Collette’s Caleb (createspace) and MidCoast Star (createspace), is a Vogue Knitting magazine cover model, and has been featured on The Today Show, and in Glamour, Harper’s Bazaar, and Marie Claire magazines. She is also the founder of Floor 51 Productions, and a podcast host.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was born and raised in Joliet, IL, about 40 minutes south of Chicago. My mother was a single mom, and we had lots of love and support from my extended family. I grew up with a lot of cousins, so it always felt like I had siblings.
I was very active in school and played volleyball, basketball, and ran track (I was a high jumper and hurdler, mostly), and also participated in drama.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
When I was in high school my mother told me that if I wanted to do something, then I should just do it and not wait on anyone to do anything with me. It’s not exactly a quote, but as an only child it was necessary to hear. I learned then to start doing things on my own, which has continued throughout my adult life. I have no problem going to a restaurant alone, traveling alone, or going to the movies alone. It was the best thing my mother ever told me. I guess it was her way of pushing me into the world, independently.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
Long ago now, I read a series of books by the late author Anita Shreve that really sat with me. Namely, The Last Time They Met and Where or When. I love the searing intensity of these novels and the realism of how people who love each other don’t end up with each other, for whatever reason, but that person doesn’t leave your heart. To me, her novels express the repression and longing that can be within us when the ordinary course of life supersedes the extraordinary that we perhaps experienced with another that didn’t last the test of time, and how the consequences of trying to recapture that can lend itself to catastrophe. It was her writing that inspired me to write.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
In my opinion, getting outside of your comfort zone means challenging yourself and taking a risk that you would not otherwise take. Discomfort, inevitably, is a by-product of that, but it’s a necessary passage we all need to go through to learn more about ourselves and grow.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
If you’re not getting outside of your comfort zone, you’re stagnating and not growing. Inherently there is nothing wrong with sitting firmly inside your level of comfort, but if you are aspiring to do anything beyond where you are, it’s vital to take chances and push yourself to get there. No one will show up and offer you your dream job, career, or opportunity if you are doing the minimum and not actively working to achieve your goals. I once went on a date with someone in New York who worked in finance but had never been to London or to Paris. He’d never desired to go to London, and never went to Paris because of the “language barrier.” His lack of curiosity about the world blew my mind and it was our last date.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
Personally, I don’t think it’s possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone. So much of our growth is as a result of stepping out on faith and challenging ourselves, be it reading a new writer who opens up your mind to someone else’s experience or way of life, to treating yourself to dinner at a restaurant by yourself, to going somewhere and meeting new people. None of us wants to be uncomfortable, but intentionally not moving past your comfort zone can keep you standing still as the rest of the world passes you by.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
Most of my adult life has been about stepping out of my comfort zone. After I graduated high school, I declined the track scholarship I’d earned to university in lieu of going to Paris to model. It would have been very easy for me to go the comfortable, safe route of going to college in small town Illinois, but I instead decided to roll the dice and step into the high-fashion world of modeling. It would take about a year and a half for me to get there, and it was terrifying as it was my first flight ever, and my first time abroad. Alone. But the entire experience was amazing and although I did not book one job, I learned more about myself and about the world than I would have learned going to college right away. The rejection I experienced was stinging and real, but on the other side of that was meeting people from different cultures, trying different foods, and gaining confidence as I navigated a foreign city without speaking the language. As scary as it was at times, I would not change that experience for the world.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
- To think like a man in the workplace.
A few years ago, my marketing team was in need of a new program manager for its ERG (employee resource group) Black and Latinx marketers. It was a twenty percent project, and although I had never done that type of work before, I raised my hand to take it on. I had no idea what I was doing, but focused on maintaining the community that was already built, strengthening it, and providing a safe space for its members. I listened a lot and figured it out as I went along. As women, we don’t always necessarily have the confidence to take on projects that we are not fully qualified for, like men do. But in this instance, I was interested in the work and knew I could do it, so I went for it. That work was so important and it was an honor to have been able to do it.
2. Do things alone.
I have traveled more places alone than I can count, and every time I have made new relationships. There was the time I went to New York alone in the early 90s and met a young woman from Perth in the hotel we were staying in, in what was a then seedy Times Square. She and I kept in touch by letter, and eventually email, and we are still friends today. She would eventually move to Brisbane and I see her when I’m in Australia, and she visited me in San Francisco when I lived there. Then there was the time I went to Boise for my birthday, a few years ago. I was at a rooftop hotel bar having a glass of wine with myself when I noticed another woman with a birthday sash on with a group of friends. I approached her and said hello and told her it was my birthday weekend also. We struck up a conversation and she invited me to hang out with her group of friends and invited me to dinner at her home later that night. I had such a good time and felt as if I’d known these women for years, when we’d only just met. It was an act of incredible generosity, her including me in her festivities, and it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had, and it would not have happened had I not been alone and initiated the conversation with her.
3. Recognize opportunity when it comes your way and take the risk.
In another life I was Matt Damon’s personal assistant and when that opportunity presented itself to me, I had just left LA and moved back to Boston (where I’d gone to college) and was penniless and at a low point. I had left LA three days prior when my friend called me from there telling me that she’d told Matt about me. (She was working for Ben Affleck at the time.) She convinced me to fly back to LA the next day to meet with him, and because I was broke, I had to call my mother to ask for her credit card number to buy a plane ticket. I packed three days worth of clothes and sat on my friend’s couch for two weeks waiting to meet with him. There were many times I thought about returning to Boston, but my gut told me to wait it out. Previous to this, I’d had such a bad experience in LA and wanted nothing to do with the entertainment business, and even though I hadn’t even seen all of his films at that point, I had nothing to lose, so I stayed. And when I met with him and was hired, my life changed forever. It would have been easy for me to turn my friend down and stay where I was, comfortable in the house I had moved into with my best friend in Boston, but I took a chance and returned to LA, and endured the gut-wrenching wait to meet with him, but it paid off. (BTW, it wasn’t his fault that the wait was so long. He’d gone on holiday and hadn’t told my friend, so he didn’t know I was around.)
4. Pitch yourself to someone you don’t know.
I love the content that Merman Productions puts out and I once cold emailed them, asking for a job. In hindsight, my note was overly effusive and bordered on desperate (I really, REALLY like their work), but I have no regrets. Nothing came of it, but sometimes you have to take a big swing and see what happens.
5. Make a vision board with something big and work towards it.
There is no better avenue to manifestation than making a vision board. A few years ago, during the pandemic, I was living in the Bay Area in a studio apartment with my dog, Avery. It was a nice apartment and had a balcony, which was a saving grace during that horrific time, but I knew I couldn’t live there for much longer. I created a vision board with very specific aspirations, including moving out of the Bay and buying a home in New England, and I actually did it. I had photos of the various rooms in my future home and I looked at it everyday and envisioned myself there. A few months later, while poking around online for rentals, a place popped up for sale in Boston that I knew instantly was mine. It was more than I thought I would spend, but I made it happen and moved in almost two years later (thanks to an insane amount of covid delays, as it was a new build). I had manifested it.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Fear is a big one. It’s easy to be afraid of everything, in today’s climate, but that comes at a price. Complacency is the other one. Talking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things. It’s easy to become complacent and not follow through, once the real work starts of trying to achieve something. But it’s also okay to stop doing something if you get into it and see that you either don’t like it, or that it’s demanding more than you can give.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
I think it just means not avoiding doing something everyday because you’re afraid. I don’t think it means walking alone at night — you don’t want to jeopardize your safety — but it could be something as small as taking a pilates or yoga class if you haven’t done it before, and not caring what people think of you in the class.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would like to inspire a movement where people actively and fearlessly try to achieve their goals. I think when people are doing what they want to do, they are happier, and as such, they are being their best selves and paying that forward by inspiring others.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I’d love to have lunch with Zadie Smith. She’s one of my favorite authors and I’ve seen her a few times at different events. I would love to be a captive audience and listen to her talk about writing, reading, and how she builds a story. She is one of my favorite writers and to just be in her orbit would be amazing.
How can our readers follow you online?
Instagram: @trinette.faint, or my website, trinettefaint.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Trinette Faint On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and Professionally was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.