An Interview With Wanda Malhotra
…Willingness to listen, seek help, and make changes are the initial steps towards surrender. I have realized in my journey and have witnessed in many others that even a tiny effort in these areas can start the journey toward sobriety.
In a world where the journey towards sobriety is often challenging and deeply personal, understanding the pathways and strategies for achieving and maintaining sobriety is crucial. This series aims to provide insight, encouragement, and practical advice for those who are on the road to recovery, as well as for their loved ones and support networks. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Steve Feldman.
Steve is, first and foremost, a family man. Father, grandfather, and loving husband. In addition, he’s a dedicated businessman and CEO of Feinberg Consulting, a company committed to assisting individuals and families in navigating the journey to recovery. Steve’s journey toward healing commenced with his decision to become sober from drugs and alcohol on April 17, 1992. Since then, he has remained steadfast in his sobriety, inspiring others on their own path to wellness.
Steve Feldman began his journey to recovery from addiction in 1992. Now CEO of Feinberg Consulting, an intervention, case management, and coaching company that provides customized healthcare solutions to individuals and families grappling with mental health challenges, addiction crises, complex medical issues, and behavioral health concerns. Steve’s recovery has become the foundation of his life and work.
Steve has seen too many people repeatedly go through the healthcare system with little results. He aims to give families and those in trouble the strategy and resources to quickly get them the right help with lasting positive outcomes. He has seen miracles happen; families and individuals heal and live productive, fruitful lives.
Thank you so much for joining us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I grew up in a family that has addiction and mental health issues on both sides. My upbringing was not stable, and my father was angry and physically and emotionally abusive. I learned at a young age how to adapt and figure out how to control my environment. This expressed itself through lying and then seeking substances to medicate me (first food, then drugs and alcohol). I worked hard to make sure things looked good on the outside and struggled internally not feeling safe or having a place where I could share what was going on with me. Ultimately, I went from someone who self-medicated with drugs and alcohol, to someone who put get high or drunk in front of everything else. I used at times that impacted my family, my career and my health and wellness. I entered recovery on April 17,1992 and have been sober ever since. I was trying to hide my use and my family finally confronted me and asked me to get help and if I chose going to treatment, my wife would not leave me and my dad who I worked with in our family business told me I could continue to work. Treatment, therapy, AA and a supportive family were all part of helping me to change my life.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
My addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms resulted in me making bad decisions, hurting people, and hurting myself but eventually led me to become the CEO of Feinberg. My recovery and willingness to be vulnerable and open to continual learning put me in situations where people have come back into my life who had a family member or friend or even themselves who needed help. In many cases, I was able to provide support and guidance that resulted in positive outcomes.
My life in recovery, led me to the practice of yoga (which I was originally very resistant to). A yoga practice and recovery have some significant similarities. The word Yoga in Sanskrit is translated into union or joining together what has been pulled apart. To me, this is the same as to re-cover or recover. This attraction led me to open a chain of yoga studios in the Metro Detroit area. This is where I met Pam Feinberg who was a regular at the studio. I learned about Pam’s business that helped people recovery from catastrophic auto injuries. I subsequently sold the yoga studios and began to consult. Pam was one of my first clients and we realized very quickly that there was a great opportunity to work together in creating a service to provide intervention, case management and coaching in the area of addiction and mental health. Not long after we started working together we became business partners and have worked very closely together for the last 12 plus years.
My great lesson of is that anything is possible with recovery and willingness. It has been my most significant failures and shortcomings that led me to where I am today.
You are a successful individual. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Integrity — Keeping my word has allowed me to free up so much mental real estate previously taken up with lies and trying to keep my stories straight. As someone that was not honest or of integrity and not being trusted by others or even myself, it is a tremendous feeling to have the reputation with everyone in my life as someone who tells the truth and that integrity can be counted on.
Humility — I do not have to be the most interesting person to be successful or be a good leader. I have learned that being the most interested person is a far more beneficial trait. I do not have to be right about anything, and admitting I am wrong or do not have the answer is incredibly empowering. I remember a time when I was having a meeting with several members of my company and at the end of the meting one of the employees asked if we could do some acknowledgements. She shared that she was so grateful to work for a company that created a culture that allowed for everyone’s perspective and input be heard and that “Steve” was such a good listener and created a safe place for people to share.
Compassion — Caring about the challenges, suffering and success of others provides for connection, collaboration, and the building of trust in relationships with employees, providers and clients. It has often been said that people do not care how much you know and they more importantly want to know how much you care. I have been in many situations talking with someone during an intervention that has initially been resistant to saying yes to the help that is being offered. I can point to connecting with that individual in a personal way and showing that I compassionately care as the thing that had them change their mind and choose saying “yes” and getting help.
It is my belief that the combination of integrity, humility and compassion are the essential elements in creating a great culture and supporting long term successful outcomes personally and professionally.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that might help people?
Yes, we are working on creating a virtual education, coaching, and support program for parents of kids ages 13–18. This group will be designed to help parents gain information and strategies to help raise their kids given the many challenges of doing so in today’s world. By supporting parents and guiding them along the way, we hope to give them the tools to empower them to raise strong, resilient kids that will create a better world for all.
We are initially focusing on the 13–18 age range because parents have so many challenges with teenagers navigating middle and high school, the pressure of applying to college, and the adjustment of leaving home. We see so many young people increasingly turning to drugs and alcohol for relief at these points in their life. Our business is to help with recovery, but we’d rather stop as many as we can from going down the wrong path way before they get to the point of needing us. We’d love to put ourselves out of business (LOL)!
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. How would you advise individuals who are contemplating the journey to sobriety but might be hesitant or unsure about taking the first step? Are there key considerations or strategies that can make this initial phase more manageable?
If you’re considering the journey to sobriety, there are a few crucial things that can make all the difference. Firstly, remember that no matter how bad things may seem, there is always hope. The part of the brain affected by mood-altering substances can distort thinking and convince you that recovery isn’t possible. But don’t give up. That voice is much like a terrorist, trying to undermine your progress.
Secondly, Be brave. Being open, honest, willing, and vulnerable can be terrifying. But in almost every case, it’s not nearly as bad as it seems. In fact, it’s often the first step towards recovery. You’ll be surprised by how much easier the journey can be when you let others in. Addiction can be isolating, and it can make you feel like nobody understands what you’re going through. It’s easy to believe that you’re alone and that sharing your struggles with others is a burden. But that’s not true. Recovery is about connecting with others who care and can be part of the solution. You’ll find that the path to recovery becomes much easier when you reach out to others.
Remember, it all starts with asking for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Some people care, and they’re waiting to help you start your journey to sobriety.
Sobriety often comes with its unique set of challenges. Can you share insights on how individuals can effectively navigate obstacles or triggers that may arise during their journey? Are there specific tools or support systems that you find particularly helpful in overcoming these challenges?
I like to compare recovery and wellness to a bank account. The best way to navigate obstacles and triggers is by making daily “deposits” to your account. These deposits include continually following through on a plan that supports wellness and recovery. This plan may consist of activities such as attending meetings, making outreach calls, serving others, getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, exercising, practicing yoga or mindfulness, and going to therapy. Each action you take either adds or removes from your balance. Nothing you do is neutral. The higher your balance, the better prepared you are to handle challenges.
On the other hand, if your balance is low or overdrawn, you are more susceptible to relapse. It’s essential to have a clear and specific plan that holds you accountable for your commitment to recovery and wellness. Remember, recovery is driven by commitment, not feelings.
Maintaining sobriety is a long-term commitment. From your experience, what are the essential factors that contribute to the sustained success of individuals on this journey? Are there lifestyle adjustments or mindset shifts that prove crucial for the ongoing pursuit of sobriety?
My answer to the previous question highlights some day to day activities that are fundamental for long-term sobriety. Bigger than day to day activities to stay on track is having a clear purpose supported by guiding principles. These principles act as a compass, helping you to stay on track. For example, my guiding principles are consideration, integrity, honesty, and courage. When making decisions, I strive to measure my actions against these principles.
Furthermore, it’s essential to identify the things that are most important to you, such as family, recovery, career, and health, and to consider these in all your decisions. Recovery can be likened to a GPS system. Knowing where you are and where you want to go is always helpful. Recovery is the direction and the path that you take towards your goals. If you get off track, you can always recalculate your direction to get back on course. This helps you stay aware of your situation and make progress towards your objectives.
Based on your research or experience, can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety”?
1. Willingness to listen, seek help, and make changes are the initial steps towards surrender. I have realized in my journey and have witnessed in many others that even a tiny effort in these areas can start the journey toward sobriety.
2. Having a program is crucial, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution to attain and maintain sobriety. Being part of a community, mutual support groups, and learning practical tools to live healthily are vital elements. Acknowledging past behaviors, making amends, building self-esteem through positive action, and therapy are also essential.
3. Staying connected to your recovery, recalling your sober origin story, and being in touch with other recovering people is essential. Addiction has a way of making you forget the importance of sobriety. Staying connected helps keep recovery at the forefront.
4. Helping others and providing service are vital parts of staying grounded. Interestingly, providing a good deed is as beneficial or even more beneficial to the person doing the deed.
5. Practice is key. We must acknowledge that we are human and give ourselves the grace to make mistakes and learn from them without shaming, blaming, or minimizing ourselves. Spending quiet time in meditation to notice our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment or running away and being present is crucial for the big picture.
Community support plays a vital role in the journey to sobriety. How can individuals find and engage with supportive communities or resources that align with their specific needs and goals? Are there online platforms, local groups, or initiatives that you recommend for fostering a sense of connection and understanding during this process?
There are many mutual support groups that include many different types of 12 step communities, Smart Recovery, Dharma Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, and all of them have virtual and online offerings.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/feinberg-consulting-inc/
https://www.instagram.com/feinbergcare/
https://www.facebook.com/FeinbergCare
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
Steve Feldman Of Feinberg Consulting On How to Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.