An Interview With Sara Connell
Cuddle or Spoon your Partner. Yep, you read that right. Fulfillment in life comes primarily from doing what love for a living AND have a rewarding intimate relationship. If you focus solely on work, you will probably wind up empty and alone. The first morning alarm is for cuddling (I like being the big spoon) and the second alarm is to get us out of bed. My wife thrives on this and I reap the benefits all day.
Beginnings are a Genesis. That means that not only are they a start, but they are also the origin of all that follows. This means that the way we start something, the way we start our day, for example, creates a trajectory for all that follows. How do highly successful leaders start their day in a way that creates a positive trajectory for a successful, effective, productive, and efficient day? How do you create habits that make these routines permanent? How do you get inspired to develop the discipline necessary for such a lifestyle? In this new series, called Morning Routines and Habits Of Highly Successful People, we are talking to successful leaders who can share the morning routines and habits that have helped them to achieve success.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephen Shaw.
Stephen Shaw is a Globally Renowned Mystic, Spiritual Life Coach, Shaman, Tantra Master and Author of 12 bestselling spiritual self-help books. Book Authority’s “Best Spirituality Books Of All Time” Winner and “Best Consciousness Books Of All Time” Winner. Stephen teaches secrets and keys to help people profoundly transform their lives. He is the creator of Chakra Shamanism, a powerful combination of life coaching, clairvoyance and energy healing. He works with A-listers, celebrities and other clients, mostly in his home county Los Angeles and worldwide via Zoom.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Some people struggle to discover who they are and what their purpose is, but I knew from a young age. I had an insatiable curiosity, a hunger for practical knowledge. I was always thinking “How can we make life better?” My mother was severely bipolar which created an unsettling and threatening atmosphere at home, and then I lost her at 5 years old. That shaped me too. It wasn’t just knowledge I began seeking; it was also deep love and fulfillment. I grew up with my father. He was a man of his times, so there was no affection or hugs. But he instilled in me a sense of self-responsibility. If I wanted something in life, it was up to me to make it happen. He was always pushing me to grow and achieve. He was also a staunch atheist, which created an interesting home environment because I was having powerful clairvoyant experiences. I was seeing beings of light coming and going. I had no idea who they were, no point of reference, so I called them “the good guys”.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
My mother instilled a love of books in me. I was always an avid reader of non-fiction. I enjoyed various genres from business and autobiographies to esoteric and self-help books. One day my father gave me a copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. That book blew me away. I knew then I wanted to write books in that genre: spiritual self-help and personal development. However, life happened. I was married and divorced twice in my 20’s. At 25, a violent attack left me with PTSD (which contributed significantly to the demise of the second marriage). I still managed to graduate from University with a BA Honours Psychology. I only wrote my first book at 43 years old. It was published after my father died, which was bittersweet.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?
Regarding the clairvoyant experiences, I had no one to explain what was happening to me and no guidance. However, when I was 11 years old, I saw a pamphlet for Transcendental Meditation, and I begged my father to let me learn it. He eventually relented and paid a wonderful teacher. After a few weeks of meditating, waves of repressed grief and tears started flowing out of me. A natural healing occurred. Then I started to experience states of profound peace. One time, after about 6 months of meditating, I was sitting with my eyes closed when I saw a silver dot in the distance. It began spiraling and rushing toward me then hit me in the forehead, and light exploded in my mind. I learned many years later that it activated my Third Eye.
The real turning point was 39 years old, when I hit a major life crisis. I had a lucrative Learning And Development Consultancy, with a Psychic Therapy Practice on the side. I couldn’t marry those two worlds (business and clairvoyance). I still had never found a suitable spiritual mentor. Or resolved this driving mission I had since I was 15 years old: “To find all the secrets and keys for a fulfilling and successful life, and to understand this mystery of Existence, and then share all the knowledge to improve the quality of everyone’s lives.”
So, I did something wild and crazy. At 39, I gave up everything. My business, my home, my country. I sold everything until my possessions fitted into a backpack. My goal was to seek out the most powerful healers and teachers across the planet. I travelled the world for 10 years, working with Tibetan lamas, Peruvian shamans, Tantra masters and other esoteric teachers.
The result of learning from these “apex teachers”? I experienced a radical healing and spiritual transformation, which shifted me into deep fulfillment, self-love and joy. I developed and honed my clairvoyant skills. I became a Mystic, Shaman and Tantra Master. I combined all my profound experiences and teachings from around the world with my deep understanding of psychology and human nature, and wrote 12 bestselling spiritual self-help books. And in 2021, I married my best friend and soulmate, Cheyenne Love.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
My atheist father taught me to be skeptical and intolerant of ideology. He always said: “Beliefs are a prison for the mind.” So when I travelled the world learning from apex teachers, my favorite phrase was “show me”, i.e. demonstrate your skills! Here’s the learning experience: We were a small group of students standing around a sangoma (shaman) in South Africa. It was day 3. I became frustrated with all the words, and said “Show me your power”. He looked at me for a long moment, then without moving his body or saying a word, he knocked me flat to the ground, where I was pinned and unable to move. A student standing next to me said he didn’t believe it, that I must be playing along. The sangoma then knocked him to the ground too. After that, I kept quiet, listened and learned. Here’s the lesson: Question everything and open your mind.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
- Self-Belief. Regardless of your feelings of inner worth or self-esteem, you must believe 100% in yourself. The greatest barrier to achieving dreams is lack of self-belief. Fear, doubt, frustration and sadness may be passengers in the car, but you must always be the driver. When I left everything to travel the world, and when I started writing my first book, I ignored all the naysayers, took the first step and moved forward. Here is a useful secret: Either block out everything and staunchly go it alone, or, even better, surround yourself with inspiring, supportive, high-achieving friends.
- Relentless Determination. Who wins in the battle between the rock and the river? Patience and resilience are hugely important traits. It took me years to locate the apex teachers and healers. It took me years to write 12 books. A Tibetan lama taught me the power of Why? He said: “Keep asking why you want that particular dream, and dig deeper and deeper until you are crystal clear.” When the Why is illuminated, your motivation and perseverance is never an issue.
- Lifelong Learning. Highly successful people are always learning. Not only must you become an expert in your profession, but you need to learn and apply success strategies in all areas of life. This is the Learning Cycle: Knowledge — Action — Results. There is no such thing as failure. Only results and feedback. If you don’t get the result you want, try something new, try something different. Highly successful people know the value of top-tier books and coaches to procure secrets, tools and shortcuts. My own learning was greatly accelerated when I gained access to apex teachers around the world.
I’m an author and I believe that books have the power to change lives. Do you have a book in your life that impacted you and inspired you to be an effective leader? Can you share a story?
Books, coaches and mentors change lives. I have read hundreds of books. Specific books had a profound impact at particular stages of my life, and in particular areas of my life. I cannot recommend just one book.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
My mission is to teach secrets and keys to help people profoundly transform their lives. I am doing this by life coaching (individual clients), webinars (groups) and my 12 bestselling self-help books. The ultimate goal is Life Transformation: break through fear, doubt and negativity; discover your true self, find your voice, live authentically; unveil your passion and purpose, do what you love for work; attract and enjoy blissful intimate relationships; shift your consciousness to the next level; and move into deep fulfillment, profound self-love and joy.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain to our readers why it is important to have a consistent morning routine?
How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you want to achieve big dreams, and attain fulfillment and success in life, you have to have a morning routine.
Can you please share your optimal morning routine that can create a positive trajectory for a successful, effective, productive, and efficient day. If you can, please share some stories or examples.
- Cuddle or Spoon your Partner. Yep, you read that right. Fulfillment in life comes primarily from doing what love for a living AND have a rewarding intimate relationship. If you focus solely on work, you will probably wind up empty and alone. The first morning alarm is for cuddling (I like being the big spoon) and the second alarm is to get us out of bed. My wife thrives on this and I reap the benefits all day.
- Avoid your Phone. Don’t get pulled into emails or social media.
- Have a Shower. Fresh start to the day and it wakes you up.
- Prayer and Gratitude in the Shower. Who has time for meditation? Instead, say a 2-minute prayer while having your shower. Ask your guardian spirits, angels, beings of light (whoever you believe in) to guide your day. Ask them to bring the right people, events and circumstances across your path. Ask them to fill your energy field with love and peace. Then give gratitude for one thing about you, gratitude for one thing about someone else, and gratitude for one thing about your life. Prayer and gratitude are a powerful psychological and spiritual practice. It also creates intriguing synchronicities!
- Never have Carbs for Breakfast. Starches and sugars create cravings for the rest of the day. They send your blood sugar into highs and lows, which means your energy is not sustainable. Either skip breakfast (known as intermittent fasting) or eat protein and fat, e.g. pasture-raised eggs. My breakfast: 100% Arabica cold-brew coffee (Arabica gives no jitters; cold-brew is more flavorful and less acidic than regular coffee) plus So Delicious Original Coconut Creamer (no sugar; it’s mostly healthy fat). My personal secret: I take BHB (beta-hydroxybutyrate) before the coffee. It accelerates the body into fasting-and-healing mode; it provides fuel directly to the brain; it is very healthy for the colon. I mix BHB powder in water (it is cheaper than buying capsules).
- Create an Efficient Office. Whether you work at home or in a corporate setting, ensure you have an ergonomic desk and chair. If you stare at a screen all day or work under fluorescent lights, wear blue-light-blocking glasses. It will greatly reduce eye strain and damage.
- To Do List. Create and update a To Do List. I have mine in my phone. Rank the list from critical (time-sensitive) to most important to least important.
- Get Started Immediately. Avoid the distractions of social media, gossiping and news (unless it’s critical to your job). Open your To Do List. Get to work.
- Block Time for Emails. Respond to emails for an hour at the start and end of the day. If you constantly read and respond to emails, you cannot focus completely on a task or project.
- Restful Sleep. None of the above matters if your sleep is poor. Buy an Oura ring and download the excellent app to measure your sleep quality. Do not drink coffee after midday, and avoid alcohol at night (both harm your sleep). Turn off digital screens one hour before bed (television, tablets). After sunset, use a blue-light-blocking filter on your phone (it’s included in most phones). Blue light hinders melatonin which is crucial for sleep. As you get older, hormone production lessens, including melatonin. I take a sustained-release melatonin capsule every night, and it makes a huge difference. Lastly, sleep in a very dark, quiet, cool room.
Speaking in general, what is the best way to develop good habits? Conversely, how can one stop bad habits?
Research shows that it takes 60 consecutive days to lock in a new habit. Motivation is directly linked to reward. Here is a secret: Focus on the end-game. What are you ultimately trying to achieve? Ask yourself WHY you are striving for a particular goal or dream. Keep asking and dig deep. Write your answer/s on your fridge door or bathroom mirror. Read it aloud every time you see it. Here is another secret: Your identity is a fundamental motivator. Use role models to decide who you aspire to be. Write down your new identity as if it is alive and real right now. E.g. I am a loving, kind person; I am a super achiever; I am a healthy, slim person; I am a wealthy entrepreneur. Again, put the phrase/s (along with relevant pictures) on your fridge door, closet door, bathroom mirror. Put it on your Vision Board if you have one (you should).
Doing something consistently “day in and day out” can be hard. Where did you get your motivation from? What do you use to motivate you now?
I have very high motivation. I focus on my end-game. My WHY is crystal clear. To get to that point, however, requires some soul-searching. Have you truly discovered YOU? Do you know your passions, talents, dispositions and desires? Do you know your type of intelligence (there are 8 types)? I highly recommend a psychometric test to find out those answers. Lastly, you need knowledge and strategies to express who you are, and shift into a life of deep fulfillment.
What other resources would you suggest to our readers?
My book Heart Song (by Stephen Shaw) is full of exercises, strategies, secrets and keys to help you discover who you are and manifest your dream life. I also recommend Whatever It Takes by Brandon Bornancin. It’s a super intense book dealing with mindset and attitude. And if you want to break through your personal ceiling and redefine your limits, read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I only discovered The Big Leap two weeks ago. After I read it, I realized that both books perfectly complement my book Heart Song.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
A movement inspiring and shifting people into profound self-love. People who truly accept and appreciate themselves usually have deep compassion and kindness for others. Deep, abiding self-love, compassion and kindness would end sexism, racism, poverty, violence and war. That is exactly why I wrote Divine Love (how to create profound self-love) and They Walk Among Us (how to experience fulfilling intimate relationships).
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂
Who: Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Dr Phil, Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, Dwayne Johnson, Maria Shriver, Drew Barrymore. Good Morning America: Robin Roberts, George Stephanopoulos, Michael Strahan, Amy Robach, Lara Spencer, Ginger Zee, Cecilia Vega. The View: Whoopi Goldberg, Sara Haines, Meghan McCain.
Why: I am on a mission to teach secrets and keys to profoundly transform people’s lives, and thereby inspire and transform the entire world. I’d love to have lunch with those people and co-create ways to spread love and knowledge.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Website: https://www.i-am-stephen-shaw.com
Amazon USA: https://www.amazon.com/Stephen-Shaw/e/B0056Z2AC0
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stephen-Shaw/e/B0056Z2AC0
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.
Stephen Shaw On The Morning Routines and Habits Of Highly Successful People was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.