Social Impact Heroes: Why and How Dr John DeGarmo Of Foster Care Institute Is Helping To Change Our World
Child Abuse is all around us. 5 million children experiencing child abuse in their own homes each year. This is a shocking number that many simply do not wish to believe or accept. Yet, it is happening today. It happens in our communities, in our neighborhoods, and for many, in our own families. So many people turn a blind eye to this, as it makes them feel uncomfortable.
As a part of my series about “individuals and organizations making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. John DeGarmo.
Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute. He is a TED Talk speaker, and conducts seminars and consult across the world on foster care, child sex trafficking, adoption, and child welfare related issues. Dr.DeGarmo is also the author of several books, including the book The Foster Care Survival Guide and Faith and Foster care. Dr. John is the parent of 6 children, including adopting three adopted from foster care, and has been a foster parent to over 60 children. He and his wife have been named the Good Morning America Ultimate Hero Award, the Up With People Ultimate Hero Award, and the Citizens of the Year in their hometown.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Thanks for asking. My wife and I were foster parents to a young girl who had suffered tremendous abuse and neglect. In my TED Talk, I referred to her as Sydney. As it is with all children placed in our home, Sydney became a loved member of our family. She was with us for quite some time, and we were hoping to adopt her. Tragically, Sydney was suddenly removed form our home and family and placed with relatives in another state, who were strangers to her, and eventually raped by them and abandoned. We searched for her for five years, and when we found her, she was in a youth mental health institution. The foster care system failed our Sydney, and it drives me every day to never let it happen to any child, ever again.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?
Several years ago, I was asked to speak at an international foster care summit, held in Greece. There were experts from across the globe at the summit, and I was the only one asked from the United States to speak at the summit. It was a very high honor, and a great experience. To be sure, I learned a great deal about child welfare from leaders around the world. Indeed, it was my first trip to Greece. Since then, one of my five daughters has been married in Greece, which allowed myself, with my entire family, to return there.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
What an interesting question. As director of The Foster Care Institute, I do a great deal of traveling across the nation. When I first started, I was not as familiar with the airports as I am now, and certainly did not know that there are two airports in Dallas, TX. I missed a flight, and thus, and was late for a conference, because I mistakenly went to the wrong airport. I can assure you that this does not happen now, thank goodness.
Can you describe how you or your organization is making a significant social impact?
Today’s child welfare workers are overworked, overwhelmed, under-resourced, under supported, understaffed, and under paid. In addition, they are experiencing Secondary Traumatic Stress, otherwise known as Compassion Fatigue, a condition our foster parents are also facing. Along with this, the real pandemic for our children is not a virus, but instead it is mental health. There is a mental health crisis that our children are experiencing. The Foster Care Institute is helping in a number of ways to address these issues, including providing support services for agencies who are struggling to retain both their caseworkers and foster parents, and with providing training programs to better equip those who care for children experiencing mental health issues.
Can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
Without a doubt, it is my wife. Not only is she a strong supporter and champion of what I do, she is also the most loving and selfless person I have ever met. As we have cared for over 60 children from foster care in our home, she has placed every child and their needs above herself. She gives all of her heart, her time, and her love to every child. Despite her Lyme’s Disease, she continues to make sacrifices for every child that comes to live with us.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
Absolutely!
Perhaps the biggest impact one can make with those children placed in foster care is to become an advocate of change. Do your research and find out as much about foster care and foster children as you can. Next, one can contact lawmakers, politicians, and publicity agents through means of emails, letters, phone calls, and other means of communication, you can then bring attention to the needs of these young adults who are facing a series of challenges after leaving the foster care system. Along with this, can also write editorial letters, post information on social media websites, etc. When you lobby for change, new laws can be introduced, and information can be brought forward to the general public. Along with this, we can all fight human trafficking where we live. Human trafficking is in every community in our nation. Recognize the signs and become an advocate for these victims where you live.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why.
1 . That every one of us can make a difference. So many do not believe that they actually can. Yet, we all can, in some way.
From opioids, to migration, to human trafficking, to homelessness; the number of children suffering continues to grow, yet there are not enough advocates.
Yet, it is like the familiar Starfish story.
A father and son were walking along a beach at sunrise after a huge storm. When they stepped onto the beach, they were met with thousands of starfish littering the beach, hundreds in each direction. The boy bent down and picked up a starfish, throwing it far into the ocean. Again and again, he repeated the action. After watching his son for some time, the father asked, “Son, what are you doing?”
“I’m throwing these starfish back into the ocean,” the young boy answered.
“I see. But why are you doing this?” the father asked.
“When the sun comes out and starts warming up the beach, the starfish will all die. I have to throw them back into the water.”
“But son, you can’t save all of these starfish. You can’t possibly make a difference.”
The boy stopped for a moment to take in his father’s words, then bent down, and picked up another starfish in his hand, before throwing it as far as he could back into the ocean. Turning to his father with a large grin spreading across his face, he simply said, “It made a huge difference for that one!”
2. It’s The Child’s Fault. Perhaps the biggest misconception about children in foster care is that the children are somehow at fault. When I was much younger, I had this same false belief, that children in foster care were bad kids, and that they did something wrong. Yet, this is so far from the truth. These are children who are the victims. These are children who are suffering. Children suffering from abuse. Neglect. Malnutrition. Even drug-related problems passed on from a mother’s addiction. Children rejected by those who were to love them most, their parents. When placed into a foster home, many of these children carry with them the physical and emotional scars that prevent them from accepting the love of another.
3. You Have to be a Saint. I often hear, on a weekly basis, that my wife and I are saints for caring for children in need and opening up our homes and hearts to kids in foster care. In no way, and in no fashion am I a saint, and I believe that foster parents from all over would echo that sentiment. We are not saints. We become tired, worn down, and exhausted. We have our own frustrations and disappointments. There are times when we succeed, and there are times when we experience failures. We are not perfect parents. We are simply trying our best to provide a home and family for a child who needs one and help a child in need.
4. Child Abuse is all around us. 5 million children experiencing child abuse in their own homes each year. This is a shocking number that many simply do not wish to believe or accept. Yet, it is happening today. It happens in our communities, in our neighborhoods, and for many, in our own families. So many people turn a blind eye to this, as it makes them feel uncomfortable.
5. Today’s churches and faith-based organizations have a tremendous mission opportunity before them; the mission to help children in foster care. With roughly 350,000 children in foster care, the mission field is a large one. People of all faiths do not have to travel to other countries to find a mission field, when there is a mission field in every community.
You are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Where do I start? Well, I will relay just one idea, and that is that we all come together to end child abuse, in whatever form it might take. As I have noted several times, there are children who are suffering, who are in crisis all around us. If each of us recognizes that we can change the life of a child in a positive way be being an advocate, we can change the world for children in need.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I am inspired by the Biblical Scripture verse from Matthew 25:35, which states, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in. To me, this represents the children who have come through my home, and the children who are in need of someone to say, “ I will help you. I will care for you. I will love you.”
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Can I name two, please?
Tim Tebow is working hard to bring awareness to Human Trafficking.
President Donald Trump has done, and continues to do, a great deal of work to end Human Trafficking in our nation.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Thanks for asking. I can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and Linkdedin at Dr. John DeGarmo Foster Care Expert, and of course online at The Foster Care Institute.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Social Impact Heroes: Why and How Dr John DeGarmo Of Foster Care Institute Is Helping To Change Our… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.