An Interview With Edward Sylvan
Reading the memoirs of others has helped me find a deeper sense of peace and understanding within my own experience and has inspired me to express my truth through writing, however, messy the process may be. I hope my book will help readers organize their own personal history and honour the human spirit so that life becomes more livable, beautiful and interesting.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mala Rambharose.
Mala Rambharose is a Canadian writer, poet, model, and former renunciate. Born to Guyanese immigrant parents in the notoriously crime-filled Toronto neighbourhood of Jane and Finch, Mala spent much of her childhood in public housing before eventually moving downtown to attend the University of Toronto. Her children’s book, “There’s A Pebble in My Shoe”, secured her an Emerging Writer title from the Writer’s Trust of Canada in 2013 and her contributions to the United Way of Greater Toronto, UN Women Canada, and the Information and Communications Technology Council have granted her consideration as a ‘prominent keynote speaker’ in the city. As an emerging writer with a voice to be heard, Mala has been featured in HuffPost, blogTO, Organimi, Caribbean Graphic, and more. Mala’s hopeful first memoir manuscript, “Broken Telephone”, is an ode to her story and the hardships that immigrant children and young adults face.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was born in Toronto to Guyanese immigrant parents in the notoriously crime-filled neighbourhood of Jane and Finch. By three years of age, I was in and out of shelters until a spot opened in public housing. In my last year of high school, I was kicked out and eventually moved downtown to attend the University of Toronto.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
I think I was about 10 years old when I read “To Kill a Mockingbird” and “The Diary of Anne Frank.”
In “To Kill a Mockingbird,” Atticus Finch is described as being “the same in the house as he is on the public streets.” I didn’t know the word ‘integrity’ back then, but I did have the feeling that that is how humans are supposed to be.
In “The Diary of Anne Frank,” when she describes her impressions of menstruation, it was interesting to my psyche that her experience of being a female human was still present and potent in the midst of brutality.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
I was 23 years old and showed up to a corporate event, slightly hungover, in jeans and a very large sweater. I was under the impression that I would be running around as an ‘invisible’ assistant to the President of UN Women Canada. To my surprise, she didn’t attend, and I was supposed to represent the national committee for UN Women on my own.
I learned very quickly that being a leader isn’t always planned and you have to stay prepared.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
Reading the memoirs of others has helped me find a deeper sense of peace and understanding within my own experience and has inspired me to express my truth through writing, however, messy the process may be. I hope my book will help readers organize their own personal history and honour the human spirit so that life becomes more livable, beautiful and interesting.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
The most interesting aspect of the book itself might be that every section starts off on an exciting note and eventually plunges into my journey towards renunciation, living without phone and internet and being disconnected from friends and family.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
It was after reading Janet Mock’s memoirs that I remembered I was allowed to express my perspective as an adult millennial and began writing “Broken Telephone,” which was just one section at first, titled “Mentor.”
Eventually, it transformed into a full manuscript with 7 sections: Mentor, Fling, Boss, Friend, Enemy, Therapist and Family.
After being ignored and rejected by 200 literary agents across Canada and the US, I decided to open up to a respected literary critic. She was astonished and said my Emerging Writer award alone, from the Writer’s Trust of Canada, should have secured me an agent.
Though some agents insist I can’t write, and one even offered to critique the manuscript further for $117 per session, there are a few pages in “Broken Telephone” that describe interactions I had with the former President of Penguin Random House Canada, as well as a Vice President of Simon and Schuster, and an editorial director from an unnamed children’s publishing company.
I can’t write like Alice Munroe or Michael Ondaatje but, at times in this process, it has felt like that is not the entirety of the problem. At times it feels like I am not supposed to talk about my experiences because I am a female of colour.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
A few younger female writers and entrepreneurs have reached out to me for advice. Though I was not usually satisfied with my responses, they all seem to be more successful than me now — financially and on social media.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
- Study unconscious bias and consistently question perspective in everyday life.
The first person who read from “Broken Telephone” didn’t seem to like my practical writing style and cited a preferred passage that was fluffier in nature. Though he was a literary professor, I suspect that he may not have given this same feedback to a male writer.
2. Remember that the experience of intersectionality is sometimes more like falling through the cracks as opposed to belonging to multiple groups — one can be marginalized by multiple groups instead.
As an Indo-Caribbean person who was born in Canada, I often feel other-ed — like my perspective is never brown enough, black enough or white enough to be valid.
3. Question the spectrum of experience within privilege and power; it’s not just about using privilege to benefit others as a form of inclusion, it’s also about spending time away from it when possible.
I spent a year wearing baggy clothes, not styling my hair or wearing makeup, and often felt like a ‘dirty brown person’ in social situations. It sucks to feel invisible, ignored and forgotten, but this reality is what helps me feel more human even while I was treated as less-so.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Leadership is about one’s willingness to BE what they expect of others.
Some ‘leaders’ don’t want to be inclusive but want to be included. Some ‘leaders’ don’t want to mop the floors but want the floors to be mopped. It takes longer to lead by example and leading by example often comes with social rejection, which hurts, but it is the path to true integrity.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
- You are not a white male and you won’t be treated like one.
I know it sounds crazy but, when I was young, I genuinely thought I could create and build and ‘make things happen.’ I grew up watching Mark Zuckerberg build an empire. But as an adult, I learned that if the people around you don’t take you, your ideas or your accomplishments seriously, there is so much resistance to work through that ‘recovery’ becomes necessary — which takes so much time and energy and makes it so much harder to be productive. Eventually, ‘making things happen’ feels more like running in circles.
2. You will have to figure difficult situations out on your own.
I can’t count how many people have implied or straight up called me naïve because I ‘try’. When you grow up poor and have meetings or projects with people who are more successful than you, particularly if they are male, for some reason many on-lookers will think you are dumb for thinking you are smart enough to work with that person. When you are a younger woman, the response is also often peppered with, “maybe he’s just trying to sleep with you,” as if women are supposed to stop ‘trying’ because the journey is challenging.
3. Unless you are financially independent or wealthy as a writer, most people will continue to tell you — in subtle and blunt ways — that you are a failure, no matter how much you accomplish.
For some reason, no matter how many documentaries or YouTube videos people watch on ‘successful people’ and how they got there, when someone is actually going through the struggles of poverty and rejection, so many friends, family members and industry experts can throw insults that sabotage and diminish.
“You have been doing this for a long time…I feel like you are self-sabotaging…”, “Self-development writing isn’t ‘real’ writing…”, “Yeah, you wrote for HuffPost, but did they pay you?”, “Yeah, the Toronto Raptors executives listened to your speech …but did they pay you?”
4. Being a creative person is a lifelong experience and is not something you have to give up on if you’re not making enough money.
When something doesn’t build momentum in 6 months to a year, so many people will be waiting for you to give up and will think it’s arrogant that you aren’t. I have been told to go back to school, to take all my pictures and articles down online and even to drive someone around so they could work on their business.
5. If you are comfortable growing in front of others, that is healthy. People who look down on your craft because it is messy and imperfect don’t have enough skin in the game.
For some reason, lots of people think that if doors aren’t flying open it’s because your writing isn’t good enough. Most well-known writers and artists may have one, two or three projects that really stand out, but their body of work is much larger than that — most of it, mediocre, messy or incomplete.
Though I have been paid for scriptwriting, article-writing, copywriting and copyediting by repeat clients, I am still told I don’t know how to write, often by ‘learned’ academically-inclined people within the literary world. They don’t care that I’ve read Ulysses — which is set on my birthday — only that I don’t write like James Joyce.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
A Terence quote through Maya Angelou, “…Nothing human can be alien to me.”
This quote has helped me understand where true empathy comes from.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
As an adolescent, Oprah Winfrey and J.K. Rowling helped me understand what is possible for women at this point in human history.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I am most active on Instagram @malathecitymonk. You can find updates on my work and upcoming projects there.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Mala Rambharose Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.