Appreciate your health and wellbeing — While I’m proud of being sober for 38 years, it would have been great not to have become an alcoholic in the first place!
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Steve Milliken.
Steve Milliken’s literary escapade takes you on a hilarious and heartfelt journey as he pursues the perfect coming out story. Spoiler alert: it’s a comedy of errors….Steve Milliken’s wide-ranging essay topics include concealing your inner sissy in the 60s, a guide for piloting the proper parameters of profanity in the workplace and tapping into your potential for prank calls. Some of Steve Milliken’s experiential essay titles include “My Rocky Horror Virginity Show,” “Sober Porn,” “My Colonoscopy Eve,” and “Bitch Ass Snitch,” and fair warning, a few “R” rated essays as well!
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in a time when being gay was often cast in a negative light, so I kept it a closely guarded secret. As a survival strategy, I became the class clown — I figured if I made people laugh first, they wouldn’t make fun of me. Humor became my armor and, over time, my passion. Late Bloomer Baby Boomer tells this journey: how I transformed humor from a shield into a bridge for connection. I believe even our hardest moments have the potential to become shared laughter.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
Holden Caulfield’s sarcasm in The Catcher in the Rye spoke to me like nothing else at fifteen. I remember reading it on my walk to school, drawn to his humor and defiance — it showed me that humor could be a form of survival. As a teacher, I used this book to help students discover that literature can offer characters who truly “get you.” These insights also shaped my writing, as I use humor to connect with readers as well.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
It’s true that we learn more from our mistakes than what we do successfully, so I have learned a lot! Instead of a youthful mistake, I’ll share an adult one because I think it’s more important to show that I’m still making the same goofy errors I made in my youth! I went to a “gay” speed dating event, with men and women in attendance. Two hours in, I found out that it wasn’t a gay event after all! I think it’s a perfect example of humor in my life. Sometimes we don’t outgrow our most awkward inclinations, and they become perfect fuel for comedy.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
I wrote this book to make people laugh, but I’m thrilled that it also gives younger readers a window into our past. It’s about bridging generational gaps, showing that while challenges evolve, humor and resilience are constants. Connecting with our past can foster community and bring comfort, helping us understand that we’re all navigating a lifelong journey toward self-acceptance. The past allows us to learn without burden.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
Picking a single story is like choosing a favorite child! Some highlights include “My Rocky Horror Virginity Show,” “Sober Porn,” “Teaching Plot in the Hood,” and “Bitch Ass Snitch.” I’ll leave the details to your imagination…. But each story dives into humor and the weird moments that shape who we are.”
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
After a high school reunion, I reconnected with an old friend and started exchanging funny emails that quickly became must-reads for a group of Cc’d classmates we referred to as our “email eavesdroppers”! One friend eventually suggested that I turn our exchanges into a book, even comparing my writing to David Sedaris. I didn’t know him at the time, but reading his work showed me that my voice might resonate with others. That small encouragement planted the seed that, over two decades, grew into this book. Better late than nevah!”
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
I’m humbled by readers who’ve shared that my book helped them feel seen. One described it as a “raw, unfiltered look at self-acceptance,” and others related to the struggles of growing up, finding humor and courage along the way. A reader also wrote that the book offers “honest perspectives that help any LGBTQ+ person not only cope but find humor in it all.” It’s incredibly moving to hear how my story resonates with people.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
Though I don’t see myself as solving a problem per se, I believe laughter is therapeutic, and my book invites readers to find levity in life’s universal struggles, such as finding acceptance, whether you’re LGBTQ or not. Humor is a wonderful way to connect us all, and my book invites readers to do just that. In theory, if more people understood that humor lightens our burdens, communities would benefit. I wish schools and workplaces would make mental health resources more accessible and less stigmatized, as well as prioritizing inclusive education and fostering a better understanding from a younger age. I also wish politicians and society would create more spaces where stories, especially those about identity, could be shared openly without judgment. Maybe one day greater support for LGBTQ+ representation in media and literature will be commonplace. If laughter is the best medicine, I’m happy to be part of the prescription!
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
As a high school English teacher, I enhanced my leadership role by adding humor to my lessons, making curriculum more engaging and students more eager to learn. On my last day as a teacher, only six weeks into the new semester, I asked my students to write a journal entry about our six weeks together, not knowing what to expect. Their responses overwhelmingly showed how much they admired me, as well as how much they enjoyed being in my class. They felt seen and inspired. I realized then that my unique approach to teaching had left a deeper impact than I’d imagined, and it was heartwarming to know that I’d made a difference.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why?
- Fear of rejection: I rejected myself before others could. Fear held me back. Don’t let it stop you.
- Let go of shame and internalized homophobia: Growing up gay was tough, and shame wasted a lot of time, but self-acceptance is liberating.
- Be open about being gay: It took time to accept myself, but being gay is just a fact, not something to hide. The journey of coming out continues even today.
- Develop your self-worth: I was too critical of myself, which held me back. Developing inner confidence is priceless.
- Appreciate your health and wellbeing — While I’m proud of being sober for 38 years, it would have been great not to have become an alcoholic in the first place!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” Humor has always been my way of connecting, from being the class clown to doing stand-up and improvisational comedy. This quote reminds me that evolving and following your passion is possible at any age. I’m thrilled that I have been able to take my unique voice for storytelling and write a book that connects with a whole new audience, even if it only took 20 years to write! I now also make short comedy videos from excerpts of my book, and the feedback makes me grateful for my journey.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I’d love to meet David Sedaris — he’s my original role model for writing humorous essays. Meeting him would be like connecting with the OG of the genre!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can follow me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, my YouTube channel, Late Bloomer Baby Boomer, or visit my website, stevemilliken.com.
While navigating social media as a baby boomer remains a steep learning curve, it’s fun to connect and share my latest content.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Steve Milliken Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.