Share the load — After becoming a mother, I spent many years focusing on my household and bringing up a family. My book identifies how women are socialised to prioritise others, leading to a loss of identity through life stages like marriage, motherhood, and menopause. Like many people I reassessed my life during the pandemic, looked at the “motherload” of work it took to keep the house ticking over and hit the menopause at the same time. I hit a brick wall in my life in that I could not and would not face another day of domestic drudgery in the kitchen without the help of my other family members to share this load.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Joanna Lambe.
UK-based Author and Marketing Director, Joanna Lambe, is fighting the feminist fight with debut book ‘Womanhooded’ — the mother of two teenage daughters, kicked off 2024 by making one of her resolutions come true in a spectacular way — as she released her passion project ‘Womanhooded’, a book which brings together her passions, desires, experiences and social commentary on womanhood — a topic which has already captured the hearts of many as the book continues to climb the bookcharts.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I had a really happy childhood, although not a traditional one! I lived with my Mum and grandparents and spent a lot of time on my own, being creative, organising my room, reading and thinking!
I remember complaining about being “bored” on Sundays, as there wasn’t much to do. They were the days before shops opened on Sundays and I was told “only boring people get bored” so that put a stop to that complaint!
We didn’t have a lot of money, the furthest I remember going was a holiday to Butlin’s in Pwllheli — I couldn’t sleep the night before, as I was sooo excited! Aw simple times.
I loved school, learning and meeting all the girls there and have always had rose tinted glasses I have come to realise, so make the best of everything.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
I have always adored books since reading Enid Blyton — it took me into another world, which I had not experienced before and I also loved finding Aesop’s Fables as a child, as it opened my mind to imaginative writing and was more complex.
To be honest, I read a lot of simple books, which I could devour quickly, so that I could then get on to the next one.
As a teenager I focused more on school curriculum books such as; Pride and Prejudice… and, now that I’m an adult, I read self-help, empowerment and feminist books. I always have about 4 books on the go at a time!
I’ve been thinking of writing a book since university and started a few times throughout my life and even wrote to my hero authors such as; Nick Hornby who very kindly wrote back with his tips.
I tried a non-fiction, house management book again post children, but got a lot of rejections so gave up and family life took priority.
As an entrepreneur and business woman I networked with a lot of women’s groups who had written books, which allowed me to think that publishing a book was possible for me too. They were: Joanna Scott-Aspray (of The Cheshire Club), Sue France (Creative Connecting Cheshire), Jodie Salt (of Womanifest festival) and Catherine Sandland (of Phenomenal women). I got myself a Life Coach, Beth Penfold (of One and Only Coaching) and mentored a young girl for Jane Kenyon of Girls Out Loud Charity. When I was telling my “little sister” how to improve her life, it struck me that I needed to walk the walk and follow my own advice.
I was compelled to write this book now, as I had a lot of encouragement from the many women I had spoken to. I kept seeing the same pattern of unfulfilled women who had lost their identity and were being “seconded” in their own lives so had to do something about it.
I have two determined daughters with huge potential and there is no way that I want them to be held back by what society expects and this book is for all females.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Probably not my funniest, but one of my biggest mistakes was giving up my magazine…
After I was made redundant, I set up my own online magazine called FuturePink in 2007, which I grew to an audience of over 30K and a team of 10 writers, interviewing the likes of Janet Street-Porter and other well-known names and celebs.
But, I gave this up when I became pregnant with my second child and moved house. I believed that ‘I couldn’t do it all’ — this was a big mistake and I regret this decision. I feel that I subscribed to what I am now fighting against — women taking themselves back due to social programming.
The lesson learned — we don’t have to conform to societal ‘norms’ and pressures! This is why my book focuses on: ‘reinvigorate the movement for women’s fulfillment and potential, challenging the status quo of women’s social roles’.
Also, in the menopause I went through a tough time, but I believe you have to “go low to bounce high”, so that is what I have done.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
I am a fierce advocate for women’s voices and a champion for the next generation.
I set myself the goal last year to bring this book to life, after the onset of Menopause and many health scares including Ovarian and breast cancers.
As a woman who has experienced sexism within my own career, being told I belonged in ‘the typing pool’, being made redundant when pregnant and struggling to find well-paid, flexible part-time work after having kids, I feel I have lived the stereotypes.
Having hit Menopause, I found a new fire. This book has been in the making for many years, but it’s Menopause that has brought it out of me, as I feel re-ignited, with a new sense of urgency, as we are not here forever!
Designed to ‘reinvigorate the movement for women’s fulfillment and potential, challenging the status quo of women’s social roles’, with this book I am encouraging a seismic shift in perceptions and actions regarding women’s roles both at home and in the wider world.
Ever wondered who you are and what you’re here for? Is it to collect crumbs or pick up pants? Do you want to change your world?
I want this book to re-start the conversation about women’s lives from childhood to adulthood and I provide action plans for focussing on yourself and stepping forward as a woman to reclaim your identity and achieve your own potential, which is often diminished and untapped as we are #womanhooded in our lives.
Yes — I am frustrated that in 2024 we are still debating and pushing for equality and equity for women, but this is still the reality we’re living in.
Key concepts explored within the book include:
- Women’s educational achievements not being proportionally reflected in their societal roles
- Internalised socialisation causing women to support others while losing their own identities
- Actions to empower women — what women can do to empower and reconnect to their true selves to help them reach their huge potential.
We are doing society a dis-service by stepping out of the exterior world. We have huge experience, skills and unique abilities which are now even being recognised with the success of FTSE companies that have women on the board!! If this is in the business world, we could really improve the whole world for us all with our approach of empathy, listening, collaboration and action. All we need is first to identify this gap (which I hope to address in the book) and the societal support to do it!
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
It’s a bit sad, but I’ve noticed in my life, that women’s issues are routinely diminished from my own experiences of being flashed at by old men (and getting to accept it as ‘the norm’) to my daughters learning early on to “swerve” predatory behaviours in their school uniforms, from middle aged men.
Females are sexualised as young girls and we focus on their value via their age or beauty, whereas men are valued on their achievements. Women need to be valued for their achievements.
Humans offer unique skills and we really need to communicate and work together better.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
My personal journey, marked by health challenges and a commitment to self-discovery, started a wake up call that culminated in the creation of ‘Womanhooded’ including an ovarian cancer scare that turned out to be endometriosis.
When my doctor told me I had two satsumas on my ovaries, one on each, I pictured them in my head, then she said don’t worry, one is only a small one! It made me think how this was expected to be accepted — and made me reflect on what else I had just been expected to accept, as part of being a woman, over the years and find out what else was inside of me. That’s when I decided to dig deep to find out what I wanted to do about fighting this — and this book and the campaign are the result!
I also took these health scares as my body trying to tell me something and I thought if I was going to die “what would I regret I didn’t do?” — this book is the result!
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
I heard back from a lady who had read my book and she said it really struck a chord with her as she had grown up children and was now responsible for taking care of her aging mother, something men don’t seem to be given.
She has recommended the book to her friends and their daughters as she said we all need to read it!
I didn’t want to bring anyone to tears, but if it has left an impression and helped spread the word then I am ecstatic!
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
Womanhooded aims to inspire women of all ages, starting from school age, to break free from societal constraints and embrace their uniqueness.
I want to change women’s lives for the better so they reconnect with their individual identity, feel more personally fulfilled and help them reach their true potential to improve society for us all.
The book signals a transformative campaign to address issues such as female identity crisis, lack of confidence and early socialisation that hinder women’s progress. ’Womanhooded’ is a book AND a catalyst for change, a manifesto for women’s empowerment and a roadmap towards a more equitable and just society.
Women are routinely expected to put up and shut up about most female issues. It’s time to use our voices on this and many other women’s issues, so I am hoping this book starts a campaign for change in many areas of women’s lives.
My call to action is clear:
- women must lose any guilt
- we need to delegate some household responsibilities and
- actively participate in exterior world decision-making
… in order to achieve personal fulfillment and contribute to societal progress.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
I believe that Leadership is to talk the talk AND walk the walk. I can’t tell other people what to do, if I am not doing it myself.
Whilst writing this book, I have been on my own journey with my own family so I am communicating and delegating more and am so much happier and more fulfilled in my own life.
I have been very fortunate in my own life and I feel the onus is on me to create change for women who have as much potential, intelligence and integrity but aren’t as fortunate.
However, I can’t do it on my own and I see and feel so grateful for all the women in my life who have encouraged me and cheered me on. They are SO valuable and probably haven’t even realised it!
It’s time for me to do that same and it’s a mission that all humans will benefit from.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
- Share the load — After becoming a mother, I spent many years focusing on my household and bringing up a family. My book identifies how women are socialised to prioritise others, leading to a loss of identity through life stages like marriage, motherhood, and menopause. Like many people I reassessed my life during the pandemic, looked at the “motherload” of work it took to keep the house ticking over and hit the menopause at the same time. I hit a brick wall in my life in that I could not and would not face another day of domestic drudgery in the kitchen without the help of my other family members to share this load.
- Focus — Trust me, it takes a lot of time and effort to push out a book, so you need to focus.
- Support Network — You need a group of supportive people who believe in you, who you respect and who will pick you up when you doubt yourself.
- Self-Belief — You need to believe in yourself, which is very difficult as you have had many, many years of society telling you the wrong messages of needing to find a Prince and put everyone else ahead of you.
- Communicate — If you tell people what you want to do, they will help you and make it so much easier! Also once you tell people you are going to do something, then you have to follow it through so that is very motivating!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
YOLO. You only live once! I have had so many times that I contemplated my own life since menopause.
I also remember my aunty saying “I gave you the best years of my life” to her ex when she got divorced. I could totally understand why she said that and I didn’t want to be bitter about how I had spent my own life.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I love Glennon Doyle who wrote Untamed — she knocked the Womanhooded idea right out of the park and was so BRAVE!
I also admire Colette Dowling in NZ who wrote The Cinderella Complex and Naomi Wolf who wrote the Beauty Myth!
Oh my gosh there are so many women that I look up to — see the last page of my book for acknowledgements. It has literally taken tens of women, if not hundreds, who have each encouraged me in their own way! I thank them all in my book!!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can:
1 Follow my mission at https://www.instagram.com/iamjoannalambe/
2 Buy the book on Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/ftibwDw
3 Message me to join the campaign!!
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Joanna Lambe Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.