Leadership is being able to be lead and learn from others. Leadership is being able to take ownership and stand on a limb to carry others and genuinely help others. In order to be a leader, you have to be comfortable with being a follower and student first. Great leaders are always prepared to learn and soak up new things.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jenelle Simpson. Jenelle Simpson is Jamaican-born and raised in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She is a senior law clerk, paralegal, motivational speaker, and life coach in Toronto. Throughout her life, she has been known for her powerful voice and positive, supportive and encouraging spirit. She uses her quotes to reach people of all different walks of life. Simpson always had a passion for writing and knew she wanted to be an author and use her books to make permanent noise and change.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was born in Browns Hall, in the region of Saint Catherine in Jamaica. I moved to Toronto, Canada when I was very young. My mom took a bold risk and moved to Canada, she was as an illegal immigrant when I was baby. She left my brother, dad, and I in Jamaica. My mom took the opportunity that was handed to her and moved to Canada without legal papers. She worked under the table at many different fast food restaurants, while looking over her shoulders. She was always careful that no one would find out she was an illegal immigrant and was always worried that she would be sent back to Jamaica before accomplishing her goals. My mom was very adamant about giving us a better opportunity in life and strived very hard to maintain her status in Canada. She eventually successfully sponsored my brother, dad and I and we all came to Canada initially as one big happy family. When I was in Jamaica, my brother and I lived with my grandma, aunts and uncles.
I was raised in a very strict Jamaican home with the reminder “my way or the highway.” I was very sheltered and mute, but yet so full of life and found beauty in everything. I didn’t really get the opportunity when I was young to discover who I was and to enjoy my childhood and teenage years, but a lot of morals and teachings were instilled in me, some to which I still hold dear to me and others I chose to break away from.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
No, there wasn’t a book that I had read. I just saw the toxic generational patterns that I was raised in. I knew that I was the one that was going to break them and create a greater narrative, not just for myself but for future generations to come.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
The most interesting mistake I’ve made was believing that I wasn’t good enough to do what I am doing today. Practically hanging myself for trying to live up to other people’s expectations of what a successful black woman should look, sound and act like. Another interesting thing was that I almost gave up my power and allowed people to alter me and filter my purpose, because it didn’t fit their narrative.
I’ve learnt that people would fear purpose that does not look like what they are familiar with and they will try to pass their own fears onto you. I’ve learnt to be careful with who I allow to speak into me. God wouldn’t give me a vision that he didn’t know I wasn’t fit for. I’ve learnt that we must be true to ourselves first and deeply love ourselves and not allow people to instill things within us, that God did not ordain for us. My purpose may not sound or look like anyone else, but that doesn’t mean it holds less value than anyone else. I’ve learnt how to truly embrace my beauty from deep within and beyond the surface of my skin colour, shape of my body and my status.
I no longer allow people to dictate what success looks like, because their meaning of success doesn’t have to be the same as mine.
For example, my mom wanted me to become a Nurse, so badly that she would literally make me feel stupid for wanting to be in the legal field. And at times had reminded me that if I didn’t become a Nurse as she suggested, I would fail massively in life. She wanted me to be become a big shot Registered Nurse and I knew that wasn’t for me. She had also pressured me to live a life, that she wanted for me and tried to shove her own dream life through me. I resisted to go her way, because my journey was different. My first goal was to become a Lawyer, but God kept pushing me in a different direction. I was afraid at first, but when I saw where he was taking me, I quickly learnt the art of letting go and “let God.”.
My mom’s views of a successful black women was to become a Registered Nurse and anything other than that was not good enough or successful. She thought that becoming a Law Clerk was a waste of time, but I am genuinely happy. I have served many people and connected with amazing people along the way. I have very successful internally and externally broke away from financial hardship, that I had watched my mom struggle with for years.
I knew I had a huge calling in my life and there was something greater for me to do. I just had to take time to learn to be happy with what God had for me and what I wanted for myself, not what others wanted for me. I have to live with every decision I make, not anyone else.
Being a Lawyer was so ideal, but I decided that I wanted to do more and success is not attached to status, position or job title.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
My dream is to make permanent noise through my books and to change toxic generational cycles that people have a difficult time breaking them, especially within the black community. My books are meant to be passed down to generations to drive out fear, heal, forgive, reverse instilled mindsets, and become open to receive new knowledge and views of life. There is not enough knowledge and understanding in this new era and people rarely pick up books to read. So book by book, I plan to delivery authenticity and drive out the instilled cycles that we continue to pass down to generation to generation. Truth and experience are the only way to really touch people. I find that if you can’t relate or show proof, it makes it harder for people to believe that they can too. This will help others because they won’t feel alone. They won’t remain stuck in situations they fear breaking free from and an open space to talk about things people avoid. The black community has been conditioned to believe and live a certain way, so it has been a real struggle to overcome things such as, poverty, financial hardship, rape, abuse, cheating, greed, hate, drugs and so many other things that we don’t talk about as a community.
The impact that I expect to see is a generational shift, a life shift, and a conversation avenue. My books are raw and authentic. They are books that every and anyone can relate to, so that they cannot be afraid to open their mouths and just release from the pit of their stomachs and start their healing process. I want my books to align people to each other and cause a natural wave and urge people to genuinely help each other rise through life without the muzzle on their mouths.
To be able to plant new generational seeds and change the tone, to drive out the toxic behaviors and patterns that were passed down to us.
My dream is to own my own TV/Talk Show.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
I think the whole book is very interesting, but what will really grab the reader’s attention are the details of being raped and being raised in a toxic home. To show how I had still remained so humble.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
My aha moment was when I met my partner and realized that I wasn’t healed and the generational cycles that we each equally brought into our relationship despite our impulse to break them. I came across a Facebook message that my partner had sent to his cousin, approximately 10 years ago. It was about the possibility of having a child outside of our relationship with a female in Jamaica that he had met on his 1 week vacation. His cousin advised him in the message to hide it from me. In that moment, I had realized that I was repeating my mom’s story, and that I really needed to acknowledge my truth. I wasn’t healed, and I did not even start to break ground with breaking free from the generational cycles that I had made a promised to break. I learnt in that moment that the blocking out certain memories and things wasn’t the way to heal or break the generational cycles I thought I was breaking, but to face the things that I was trying so hard to run from.
My son was about to turn two-years-old at that time and I remember promising myself when I was younger that I was going to be the generational breaker and create a life that my parents couldn’t give me, for my own children. To create a new generational freedom and not to be trapped in toxic patterns, cycles and mindsets passed down to us, but be open to learn and grasp new things. My son triggered me to start the work that needed to be done, for not just myself and him, but for other people going through the same patterns that had no idea how to break away from it.
I realized that I have a birthing within me and at first, I was too afraid to push forward because I was afraid of what people would say and feel. But this is for my people….all people and especially our children growing up in this cold world. I wanted to continue to extend love. I didn’t want these cycles to continue or be passed down to my children and the next generations, I want to break them and set a precedent for the next, so that they too can do this. These cycles that we live with and have become normal are not normal and it’s okay to talk about it and fish for greater.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
I can’t say that only one particular person was helped by my cause, because many people have reached out to me on Instagram and have said I have helped them in ways that I may never understand. I realized that what I was doing was really helping people in 2019, when I didn’t post for a month. I actually took a social media break and when I finally logged back on, I had a flood of messages from people from different countries asking where I have been and why I haven’t posted. Even on days when I don’t post a quote on Instagram, someone is messaging me asking if I am okay. That really shook me up, because at first, I would question myself and God, if what I was doing made any sense or served a real purpose. I recall a few people messaging me telling me they listened to my interview and it made them cry because they too have experienced things similar to I and are just too afraid to speak about it and they can’t wait to read my book. One lady sent me a message saying that she has always wanted to start her own podcast and after watching me, I gave her the courage to want to start it and guess what, she started it.
The impact I’ve made on people’s lives may be small to some, but a big deal for me because I never realized that what I was doing was so powerful until I started receiving messages from people all over the world. That made me feel really good, because the shifting has already started.
Another person I had no idea that I was impacting so much was my son. He did assignment and wrote that I was his biggest supporter along with his dad. He said and I quote “I have drawn a lion’s head to represent my mother. She has the courage of a lion; Also, I drew a dog because my dad is loyal. Also, I have drawn stars for both my parents because they have the nobility of a star. My quote is be yourself no matter what. My mom has said to me, ’be yourself no matter what.”
I know that parents are children’s first role models, and they watch everything we do, but I didn’t realize how much I had such a big impact on him and that made me realize, that I am doing more than what I had thought. I started a generational shifting and seed within my own children, and in turn they will pass it on to their generation and it will keep extending.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
To the Black, Caribbean, African, ANY community
1) Read my books, all 3 of them.
2) Spend time getting to know yourself, even the painful and dark parts of yourself. Embrace and love every part of yourself. Be honest and root out the things that need to be rooted out. It may feel painful in the beginning, but I promise you, you will feel so amazing and be ready to start the things you’ve been dreaming to start.
3) Extend love to each other in any way that you can and learn the art of communication, understanding, unlearning and relearning.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Leadership is being able to be lead and learn from others. Leadership is being able to take ownership and stand on a limb to carry others and genuinely help others. In order to be a leader, you have to be comfortable with being a follower and student first. Great leaders are always prepared to learn and soak up new things.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
1) Don’t allow anyone to tell you what direction to go, trust God
Ex: A few people have told me to be careful with my words in my books and that I don’t need to write everything in there. One person has even asked why would I write a book like this, that’s so sensitive.
You have to stand firm in the vision that God gave you and don’t allow anyone to tailor what God has instructed you to do. Trust him wholeheartedly and allow him to guide you, not people.
2) Big or small, we all have purpose and it’s a big deal
Ex: I’ve use to feel small because I saw people walking in their purpose and doing bigger things than I. I would tell myself that I am too small and my purpose is not big enough. I’ve leant that no matter the size of your assignment, it is big and is a big deal for someone else and someone else who is drawing from your purpose.
3) There will be many upsets along the way, but don’t give up on your dreams and the things you really want.
Finding a publisher and an artist to do my book cover was one of the most challenging things for me during the course of writing this book. I have experienced disappointment after disappointment and people who told me they could do it, but really couldn’t. Some people who have discouraged from my entire process. When I was on the verge of giving up and saying “blah, I’m not supposed to be an author after all and believing that I didn’t have what it took to complete what I started, I woke up at 6 a.m. out of my bed and went straight on Instagram to post a quote. I logged into my personal Instagram page first and saw a random friends requests from an artist Patricia Sparks @patriciasparksart from Vancouver, Ontario, she had over 4,000 followers and I kept questioning myself and God why would someone with so many followers would want to add me as a friend? I really found it so odd. I decided to message her, I asked for her number and called her when I got to work, we spoke for over an hour on the phone, it was a natural connection and I know God sent her to me because I was just about to throw away my manuscript that morning and move on to something else. Patricia lead me to finding my publisher who is also located in Vancouver.
When you feel like giving up that’s why God opens some unbelievable doors for you. You will face a lot of things on your journey, but don’t give up. God wouldn’t give you that vision if he did’; know it was meant for you.
4) It’s okay to let go of people that aren’t meant to go on your journey with you, it’s okay to feel hurt and not understand the shifting, but be obedient and don’t keep people in your life just because you feel bad letting them go. Elevation has to happen.
Ex: I held onto people God was trying to remove out of my life because of guilt and they were a huge distraction, once I let go I felt a weight raise up off my back and my atmosphere started changing.
5) You were created different for a purpose, not because something is wrong with you but because something great is buried within you and you have to dig it out.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite quote is written by me, because I’ve learnt that I am the most powerful voice in my life. I am the only person that can drive myself through whatever season I face. I can’t rely on people to fuel me all the time and be the voice of encouragement that I need to keep pushing, because what happens when that voice is no longer there, I still have to rely on myself to keep pressing through and going beyond my own expectations. I have had moments when I was wishing and praying for one phone call for someone to just give me a few words to pull through, but my phone was so dry, and I had to find ways to still keep walking and standing.
“I didn’t have many role models to emulate when I was growing up, but I knew what and who I didn’t want to become. I decided to be my own role model, work overtime to inspire my growth and life. I am my greatest role model and strive to be greater each day.” — Jenelle Simpson
“Never allow fear to dictate what you are capable of or how far you can go. Fear is just that little voice trying to convince you to steer away from your purpose, because your own fear knows that you are powerful, and you will break ground. Fear does not reside in you, push past fear and rise up. Release that fire within you and go break ground!” — Jenelle Simpson
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I would want to meet Sarah Jakes Roberts, she is a strong tower and a whole powerhouse. Her voice and purpose play a great role in my life and helped me drive out fear and soak in my purpose.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Follow me on IG and Twiiter @Lifesdeceit
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Jenelle Simpson Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.