Robin Emmerich On Finding Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times

An Interview With Jake Frankel

Educate Yourself: Understanding depression and its manifestations can help in providing the right support and avoiding potential triggers.

It sometimes feels like it is so hard to avoid feeling down or depressed these days. Between the sad news coming from world headlines, the impact of the ongoing raging pandemic, and the constant negative messages popping up on social and traditional media, it sometimes feels like the entire world is pulling you down. What do you do to feel happiness and joy during these troubled and turbulent times? In this interview series called “Finding Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times” we are talking to experts, authors, and mental health professionals who share lessons from their research or experience about “How To Find Happiness and Joy During Troubled & Turbulent Times”.

As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Robin Emmerich.

Robin Emmerich, D.PSc., is a highly trained and certified expert in the subconscious mind, having received her training from the renowned psychologist Dr. Coletta Long. She has also completed the esteemed ‘Creativity in Business’ course at Stanford University, taught by Dr. Michael Ray. Robin’s personal journey and extensive professional knowledge have equipped her with a unique methodology to help individuals uncover their true desires and live a deeply fulfilling life. She’s gained recognition in various arenas including Inc Media’s first-ever invitee for ‘Ask Me Anything in Health and Wellness,’ the inaugural Career Coach for Bumble Bizz, Austin Under 40 Awards 2019 ‘Mentor of the Year’ finalist, and most recently launched her book, Love the Mess, which quickly soared to the number one spot on the Amazon bestseller lists for both Death & Grief and Creativity Self-Help categories.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

Thank you for having me! Every individual’s journey is unique, and mine has been a tapestry of challenges, self-discovery, and ultimately, finding joy and happiness.

Growing up, I was always surrounded by love and laughter. My family believed in the power of joy, and even in the face of adversity, we found reasons to smile. However, as I ventured into adulthood, societal pressures began to weigh on me. The pursuit of perfection became my driving force. I found myself in a high-powered corporate role, surrounded by what many would consider the trappings of success. Yet, amidst all this, there was an underlying emptiness, a yearning for something more profound.

Life has a way of presenting us with turning points, and for me, it was a series of unexpected events, including a car accident and a traumatic break-in attempt. These incidents were my wake-up call. They led me to Dr. Coletta Long, a beacon of wisdom and insight. Through her, I confronted the unresolved emotions from my past, primarily the pain of losing my father. It was a challenging journey, but it was also the path to my liberation.

With Dr. Long’s guidance, I learned to embrace my emotions, to find joy in the little moments, and to celebrate the beauty of imperfection. Today, my mission is to help others discover their own happiness, to guide them in finding the joy that lies within, waiting to be uncovered.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

It was actually a pivotal time in my life. As a little girl, I’ve been captivated by the essence of self-expression and the profound strength of authenticity. My daily wardrobe choices, even during my school days, were more than just clothes; they were an extension of my identity and a testament to my innate leadership qualities. However, the turning point in my journey came during my freshman year of college when I tragically lost my father. That period of grief and disconnection led me to discover the transformative essence of self-love and acceptance. A decade later, an epiphany revealed to me the innate power and luminosity we all possess. I recognized that many of us, constrained by societal expectations or personal beliefs, often wear facades, obscuring our true selves. This profound realization, coupled with my personal transformation, fueled my passion to guide others towards self-awareness. My mission became clear: to empower individuals, particularly women, to embrace their “mess” and find beauty in imperfection.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

Certainly! My Nona, which means grandmother in Italian, was a pillar of resilience and insight in my life. She consistently emphasized the importance of authenticity, urging me to remain genuine regardless of external pressures. In our final moments together, she confided in me, drawing parallels between our personalities. She expressed her own fear of “loving too deeply,” believing it led to her husband’s death. While that may not be true, it was a fear she recognized that held her back in life. This resonated with me, as I’ve always approached life with optimism and a heart eager to serve. I realized that I, too, had an underlying unease about loving profoundly, especially in relationships where the stakes of loss were high. This revelation allowed me to pivot my perspective, understanding that the foundation of love is self-love. With this internal love, we’re equipped to navigate life with an unguarded heart. That moment changed the entire course of my life. As it’s often said and I believe to be true– our deepest fears remain hidden until they’re directly confronted or illuminated by our subconscious. Nona’s enduring belief in me and her invaluable insights continue to serve as my compass.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

I’m currently working on expanding my athleisure line, Beauty and the Mess, inspiring women to feel self-love and acceptance in a single pair of pants! I’m also launching a mastermind program with some incredible minds, aimed at helping women rediscover their true selves and unlock their deepest desires in life and love. I believe these projects will provide tools and insights for women to navigate their emotions, heal past traumas, and truly embrace their authentic selves.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Yes, Thank you! There have been a lot of experiences that have shaped my success, yet three consistent traits I feel have been pointed out consistently through my mentors and colleagues:

1. Resilience: Life has thrown many curveballs my way, but I’ve learned to bounce back, stronger and wiser. In 2020, I literally lost everything and rather than giving up, I found new ways to learn, grow and heal and then pivot my business to share what I discovered.
2. Empathy: Understanding and connecting with people on a deep emotional level has always been at the core of my work. It’s what drives me to create safe spaces for individuals to explore their emotions and vulnerabilities.
3. Passion: My genuine love for what I do fuels my every action. Whether it’s coaching, writing, or speaking, I pour my heart and soul into it, and I believe that’s what resonates with so many.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority about the topic of finding joy?

Having navigated my own journey from feeling lost and disconnected to finding profound joy and self-love, I’ve firsthand experienced the transformative power of embracing one’s authentic self. I truly believe that it is our personal journeys that teach us the most. Over the years, I’ve also received training through my mentor, Dr. Coletta Long, a world-renowned Psychologist in the field of hypnosis and developed tools and strategies that have not only benefited me, but have also helped countless individuals find their own path to joy. My book, “Love the Mess,” encapsulates these learnings, and through my coaching and speaking engagements, I’ve been fortunate to guide many on their journey to lasting happiness and fulfillment.

Ok, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about finding joy. Even before the pandemic hit, the United States was ranked at #19 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low, despite all of the privileges and opportunities that we have in the US?

Certainly. While the US offers a plethora of opportunities and privileges, it’s essential to understand that happiness isn’t solely derived from material wealth or external achievements. A few reasons for the lower ranking might include:

1. Pressure to Conform: The societal pressure to fit into certain molds or meet specific benchmarks often leads people to pursue paths that aren’t aligned with their true selves and lead to feelings of unfulfillment.
2. Fast-paced Lifestyle: The hustle culture, while motivating for some, can lead to burnout and a lack of work-life balance for many. Constantly being on the go leaves little time for introspection and self-care.
3. Value on Materialism: While material comforts can enhance our lives, equating them with happiness can be misleading. True joy often stems from deeper connections, purpose, and inner peace.

What are the main myths or misconceptions you’d like to dispel about finding joy and happiness? Can you please share some stories or examples?

Yes!

1. Happiness is an External Achievement: Many people believe that once they reach a certain milestone — be it a job, relationship, or financial status — they’ll be happy. I’ve met countless individuals who’ve achieved these and still felt a void. It was my own personal journey as well. True happiness comes from within.
2. It’s Selfish to Prioritize Yourself: Especially for women, there’s a misconception that prioritizing oneself is selfish. But as I often share in my sessions, you can’t give from an empty cup. Taking time for self-care and self-love is essential for overall well-being.
3. Happiness is Constant: Life is a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s unrealistic to expect constant happiness. Embracing all emotions, most importantly the uncomfortable ones, is key to a balanced life.

In a related, but slightly different question, what are the main mistakes you have seen people make when they try to find happiness? Can you please share some stories or examples?

Yes, I’ve seen a few consistent patterns in women specifically:

1. Seeking External Validation: I recall coaching a brilliant woman who had achieved immense professional success. Yet, she constantly sought validation from peers, leading to feelings of inadequacy. It was only when she began to value her own journey and stopped comparing that she found true joy.

2. Avoiding Negative Emotions: Another common mistake is avoiding or suppressing negative emotions. One client, after a traumatic event, put on a brave face, believing it was the “strong” thing to do. Over time, this suppression led to emotional blockages. Embracing and processing these emotions was crucial for her healing.

3. Not Being Present: In today’s digital age, it’s easy to be constantly distracted. I’ve seen people miss out on beautiful moments because they were too focused on thinking about the next task. I often speak on leaving a legacy behind and I believe that we each leave our own legacies through the presence we give to others while we are here.

Fantastic. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share with our readers your “5 things you need to live with more Joie De Vivre, more joy and happiness in life, particularly during turbulent times?”

I love the the Joie De Vivre philosophy and feel like it comes down to simplicity and connection. A few ideas that come to mind to cultivate more joy are:

1. Embrace Authenticity: One of the most liberating feelings is being true to oneself. I remember coaching a woman who felt trapped in a life scripted by societal expectations. When she began to honor her true desires and passions, her joy was palpable. Living authentically allows us to connect deeply with our inner selves and the world around us.
2. Practice Gratitude: Even in turbulent times, there’s always something to be grateful for. I’ve found that keeping a gratitude journal, where I jot down three things I’m thankful for each day, shifts my focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in my life. I did this at the most difficult time in my life and it changed everything.
3. Connect with Nature: Nature has a therapeutic effect. I had three physicians advise that I sit by the ocean daily and listen to the waves to heal my brain from a concussion. I took morning walks on the beach and sat by the ocean for 8 months. The warmth of the sand, the expansiveness of the ocean, and the fresh air calmed my mind, regulated my body, and lifted my spirits.
4. Limit Digital Consumption: While technology is great, it’s essential to disconnect to reconnect with oneself. Setting specific times to unplug and engage in activities like reading, meditation, or even a simple cup of coffee can be rejuvenating.
5. Seek Support: It’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional guidance, sharing our feelings and vulnerabilities can be deeply healing. This is why I am opening up a mastermind for women, so that we can all embrace and support each other in rediscovering their true selves and unlock their deepest desires in life and love.

What can concerned friends, colleagues, and life partners do to effectively help support someone they care about who is feeling down or depressed?

1. Listen Actively: Sometimes all we need is a listening ear. Being present and listening without judgment can make a world of difference.
2. Avoid Offering Solutions: While it’s natural to want to “fix” things, it’s essential to understand that the person might just need validation and understanding.
3. Encourage Professional Help: If someone’s feelings of sadness persist, gently suggest seeking professional help. Therapy or counseling can provide tools and strategies to cope.
4. Stay Connected: Regular check-ins, even if brief, can make a person feel valued and less isolated.
5. Educate Yourself: Understanding depression and its manifestations can help in providing the right support and avoiding potential triggers.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I love this question! I imagine a global wave of women embracing their authentic selves, unapologetically. It would look like women everywhere, from all walks of life, wearing their ‘Beauty and the Mess’ Athleisure, not just as a fashion statement, but as a bold declaration of their commitment to self-love and acceptance. Every piece from the line would serve as a reminder that our ‘messes’, our imperfections, are what make us uniquely beautiful.

The empowering messages from ‘Love the Mess’ would expand from local community gatherings to pop-ups worldwide, where women could come together to share their stories, their struggles, and their triumphs. It would be a space where every tear, every laugh line, every scar would be celebrated as a testament to our resilience and strength.

I envision this movement bringing about transformative change by shifting the narrative. Instead of women feeling pressured to fit into a mold, they’d be encouraged to break free from it. By embracing and loving their mess, they’d inspire others to do the same. The ripple effect would be profound — a world where women uplift each other, where self-love is the norm, and where every individual recognizes the beauty in their unique journey. That’s the world I dream of and work towards every day.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 😊

We truly live in a world where connections can be made in the most unexpected places! If I could choose someone to share a heart-to-heart over breakfast or lunch, it would be Brené Brown. Her work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy has resonated deeply with my own journey and the essence of ‘Love the Mess’. Brené’s insights on embracing our imperfections align so beautifully with the message I aim to share with the world. I feel a conversation with her would be transformative, enlightening, and filled with authentic connection. Brené, if you’re reading this, let’s make it happen! ☺️

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Thank you so much! I’d love to connect on Instagram @robin_emmerich or email me at robin@robinemmerich.com if you are interested in joining my upcoming mastermind!

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!

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Robin Emmerich On Finding Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.