Rising Star Haely White: “To me, the greatest threat to our world is the lack of self-love”
To me, the greatest threat to our world is the lack of self-love. In today’s world, we have connection to nearly everything, but we are losing connection to ourselves. Especially in this political climate, it’s been so tragic to see what power hate can have to divide us and it’s important for everyone to look inward before judging others. I’ve been on a really interesting journey this year to wake up and dig into the journey to heal myself. I also think that it’s important for us to realize how different we are all born, if even in the same family, we can have so many different lenses. In my late 20’s, I roped my family into therapy and healed a lot of past issues by simply doing the Myers Brigg test and seeing how differently we all view the world. If everyone sought out this type of understanding versus judging others, I know the world would be a very different place.
As a part of my series about pop culture’s rising stars, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Haely White. Haely is a proud multi-hyphenate comedy writer-actress-director (with 10 Million views and counting), a hit series on Parents, FabFitFun, Mom.me and viral content all over the damn internet. But it wasn’t always that way. After reaching the pinnacle of acting fulfillment with one liners in questionable clothing, Haely announced she was quitting acting. But no one even noticed. On a mission to create her own content, Haely began writing with her then-roommate, Megan Dizon, and when their YouTube shorts started gaining views and features on Hello Giggles and Funny or Die; they realized they were onto something. Haely and Megan co-created the hit web series, DATED, named Largo Film Award’s Best Comedy, and hailed as “better than TV”. After having a baby and realizing she probably needed therapy, Haely realized writing comedy was likely cheaper. Thus in 2018, she launched Don’t Call Me Mommy, with fellow mama, producer, & content creator Samantha Gutstadt. Combining their seasoned backgrounds in advertising, sketch comedy, video production, editorial and social media — Don’t Call Me Mommy is a one-stop-shop for content creation. On November 14th, the duo is launching their own comedy variety talk show, Off Duty, on brand-new platform, Tellie. Together they’ve created comedy scripted series for Parents Magazine (Before/After Kids), and the hit series, Sh*t No One Told You on Mom.me (with over 5 MM views), in addition to two series on FabFitFun (Literally Obsessed, Sorta Awesome Mom Hacks), and commercials for brands. Their new column, Everything is Embarrassing, is now live on Romper.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up in Littleton, Colorado as a very outgoing and eager child, who created a full-blown stage in our basement… curtain and all. I remember I couldn’t tap dance on the hard wood floor so my dad got me a piece of plywood and I would just stay in that little square, tapping my heart away.
My parents indulged my desire to perform and let me spend weekends and nights at this musical theater company called Younger Generation Players. That was really where I thrived, just hanging out in the greenroom singing RENT at the top of our lungs. Not much has really changed to be honest. I also grew up spending a lot of time with our family at our cabin in the mountains, where I would sucker my younger brother into making videos with gigantic camcorder. It was really a special time and I feel lucky have had such a great childhood just running around wild in the mountains.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?
Growing up in theater I always wanted to be an actress, but it wasn’t until I went to college and discovered film, when I realized what I really wanted to do. We would immerse ourselves in these ridiculous short films thinking we were the next Scorsese. To be honest, it always felt like a playground and not like school. When I graduated, I knew I wanted to continue acting but I also wanted to be behind the camera. I was told by many people you really can’t do both — you will have to choose or not be taken seriously. So I chose acting, and ultimately failed at the ripe old age of 28, and decided to start writing as a way to make extra cash. The funny thing was the writing eventually brought me back to performing again. Although I’ve had a variety of different jobs to support myself, I’ve really been doing this since I was very young, so I guess it all came full circle.
Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I think the most interesting stories are the ones that happen when we least expect it. I met my business partner, Samantha Gutstadt, for drinks about a year after having my son. I knew she was producing content and so was I but didn’t really expect for anything to happen. Two glasses of wine later I really let it all out, and exclaimed (about motherhood), “Why didn’t anyone tell me this sh*t?!” She commented that it was a great idea for a show. And she just happened to be pitching the next day some content ideas to a big digital platform. We jotted down some quick ideas and the next day, after she had pitched all her other ideas, she pulled out this one as a wild card. And guess what? They bought it! To my surprise, we basically went into business from that day on and have kept picking up speed since. Best first date I’ve ever had.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
A handful of years back, I was emailing out my work hoping to land a new manager. In these emails, I would put everything I’d ever done AND my entire life story in an email. Like the LONGEST EMAIL YOU’VE EVER SEEN. Annnnd: crickets. Shocking I know. I just scared the sh*t out of them! Looking back, I’ve learned that nothing will ever happen over one email and less is more. I’m still horrified thinking of the novels I wrote hoping I never run into those people in person.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?
- Don’t Call Me Mommy is launching a new variety talk show, Off Duty, on a brand-new platform, Tellie. We are really excited about this because it’s all live and the audience will help to drive the show. Catt Sadler is the first guest for our show, and it launches November 14th @ 7pm.
- We have a new collection of bags and fanny packs launching in November with designer Rachel Miriam, with a portion of proceeds benefiting the Downtown Women’s Shelter in Skid Row.
- We have a comedic column on Romper called Everything is Embarrassing where we talk about all the wild stories of parenting.
- We signed a year deal with FabFitFun to create 40 videos for 4 seasons of content, called Literally Obsessed.
We are very interested in diversity in the entertainment industry. Can you share three reasons with our readers about why you think it’s important to have diversity represented in film and television? How can that potentially affect our culture?
The truth is, when one person thrives, we all thrive. And when one person hurts, we all hurt. We are a part of a collective consciousness and when we share a variety of stories from all different origins and cultures, we open up the entire world. When we are only showing one type of person, or perspective, we are inadvertently saying they aren’t important. That their voices and stories don’t matter. Although there’s been a great deal of progression, we are only at the very beginning of what’s possible. Because TV and film are driving a cultural narrative, it’s crucial that we continue speaking up and including all voices, all colors, all people. It’s time we all are heard.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
- Don’t be afraid to hide your personal story. That is how people will connect to you. For a long time, I would be ashamed to reveal too much about my struggle but now I realize that all those crazy jobs gave me so much hilarious content. Nothing is for nothing. Learn how you can utilize the skills you’ve learned — in any situation — and build on it.
- Enjoy the journey, don’t wait for the destination. In my twenties, I kept saying: When I get X, things will be better. Or when X happens it will be perfect. You start to realize, it just doesn’t work like that. You better love what you’re doing NOW because this moment is all we have.
- Learn about how credit cards work! Take one struggling actress and add a perfect credit score out of college with zero understanding on how credit works, and you have recipe for disaster. I eventually ran out of money. And out of credit. And things were very challenging to say the least. I’ve spent a solid decade rebuilding my credit and am pleased to report it’s finally back to excellent.
- No one will write the perfect role for you and cast YOU in it. Stop waiting around to create the content you want. I heard an Amy Poehler quote about this and thought it was so brilliant. The odds of someone really writing the perfect thing to play to my personal strengths then choosing me to play it was damn near impossible. It was the turning point where I took it into my own hands and decided to roll out the red carpet. Literally. For the premiere of my digital series, DATED, we actually bought our own red carpet and rolled it out for ourselves.
- Don’t try to pitch everything in one email. Get them on the phone first. As I’ve previously explained, maaaybe don’t try to get everything into one email because you will likely scare the hell out of them. Maybe keep it cool and leave them wanting more.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?
I have to be entirely honest, this is something I’m always working on. Not that I burn out, but I do overextend myself then find I have no energy to just do basic tasks and keep up with the house, my husband and my son. My tip right now to myself (any anyone reading) is to have your yes be yes and your no be no. I’m naturally a yes person, so the ‘no’ is what I’m working on. It’s important to put yourself first, even if you’re caring for a family, because if you’re not happy and healthy, nothing will get done. The other thing is to prioritize getting out into nature. We often forget how healing it is to be outside, barefoot in the sand or grass. As Wayne Dyer once said, we aren’t human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Getting outside is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health.
You are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
To me, the greatest threat to our world is the lack of self-love. In today’s world, we have connection to nearly everything, but we are losing connection to ourselves. Especially in this political climate, it’s been so tragic to see what power hate can have to divide us and it’s important for everyone to look inward before judging others. I’ve been on a really interesting journey this year to wake up and dig into the journey to heal myself. I also think that it’s important for us to realize how different we are all born, if even in the same family, we can have so many different lenses. In my late 20’s, I roped my family into therapy and healed a lot of past issues by simply doing the Myers Brigg test and seeing how differently we all view the world. If everyone sought out this type of understanding versus judging others, I know the world would be a very different place.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My husband, Dave, honestly saved me. When we met, I was struggling so much financially and everything just felt hard. I remember I had parking tickets that had piled up and I wasn’t able to pay them, and just living in total fear (remember when I mentioned my car being impounded?), and then one day I saw they all had been paid. When I asked him about it, he didn’t even take credit — he just said the Dalai Lama did it. But that was just the beginning. There’s never been a moment when he’s questioned me or my dreams, even things were on (very) shaky ground. When everyone else was telling me to focus elsewhere, he told me to keep going and dig deeper. Having that type of unconditional love and support gave me the confidence to push through the really challenging times and I feel so deeply grateful for it.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Change your thoughts and you change your world”
I didn’t realize the power of thoughts to change our entire perspective until about the last 5 years. I started getting into nerdy science documentaries and learning about epigenetics. Basically, there’s evidence that our cells can physically transform depending on our thoughts. We are talking about change on a DNA level! It makes you start paying attention to that inner dialogue. It can be corrosive or incredibly helpful. And that’s all up to you.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Lucille Ball. And I’m naming two because she’s not alive anymore so: Amy Schumer. AMY IF YOU’RE OUT THERE I’M READY TO MEET YOU AND MAKE COMEDY TOGETHER. Okay, now that’s out of the way, she’s doing such profound work in the world that isn’t just remarkably funny — it’s brilliant. Her show, Inside Amy Schumer brought light to bigger topics like feminism, gun control, pay gap but did it so smart so you’re laughing and then pause to realize what she’s actually saying. I think she’s one of the funniest and smartest women of our generation and she’s helping to change the conversation through comedy.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
IG: @haelywhite, @dontcallmemommy
Fb: facebook.com/haely
This was very meaningful, thank you so much!
Thank you so much!