Nimrita Dadlani Of Pivot On 5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce
Self-care is really important. Take time out for yourself. Treat yourself once in a while — it can be as simple as going for a walk and listening to a podcast for some time out, buying a coffee for yourself once a week, or something more extravagant like booking into a spa/retreat, if you can!
As a part of our series about the “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce Or Breakup” we had the pleasure of interviewing Nimrita Dadlani, Founder & CEO.
Nimrita Dadlani is co-founder of Pivot, the UK’s first holistic platform supporting individuals through divorce and separation by connecting them with expert professional divorce coaches and consultants. Nimrita started the company following her own personal journey of the fragmented divorce wellness industry.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?
My parents are Indian and moved to Africa for work in the 1970s. I grew up in Nigeria and my siblings and I went to boarding school in the UK when we were eight years old. In fact, my Hindu parents were refugees from modern-day Pakistan they moved from Sindh, now in Pakistan, to India, during the partition of India in 1947, before living in Nigeria, Africa, in the 1960s. I had a lovely childhood.
Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I went through a divorce a few years ago and found that there was a need for more access to break up, separation and divorce support that was more holistic, helping the person as a whole. During my separation, I received support from a manifestation coach and a divorce consultant/coach, who enabled me to move through the separation fully supported and aware of how best to manage the process from a practical and emotional point of view. (This also meant financial savings too.) It was this experience of receiving the ‘right support’ that led me to launch Pivot in June 2024. I saw a gap in the market and decided I wanted to answer that need. The platform does just that: it addresses the urgent need our society and culture faces given the often out-of-date approach to divorce and the relational cliff-edge couples can experience during the legal process.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
During my own process, and through speaking to others in the same boat, I discovered that often divorce solicitors are used like therapists or divorce coaches, yet unlike coaches, a solicitor’s hourly rate is often double the price. I soon realised that employing a divorce consultant or coach can save an individual (or couple) around 50% in fees.
There have been so many other exciting things that have happened since we’ve launched. When I was at my lowest four years ago, I would never have thought that I would be building a business featured in national newspapers. I think the most exciting part was when I was interviewed on BBC (radio) talking about Pivot. (I’m enjoying the process of this interview with Authority, too!)
Above all, it’s incredibly rewarding to be acting as a facilitator in helping others, to bear witness to how Pivot is supporting individuals and couples feels very worthwhile. At the end of the day, it feels good to be working in a business that is meaningful to others.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Not really a funny mistake but I think the biggest mistakes that I’ve made are around not following my gut, not handling strategies correctly — all while my gut was actually telling me what to do. I’ve certainly learnt to listen to my gut more since starting Pivot.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
Fail to plan, and you plan to fail! As a result, I am a planner through-and-through. I embrace tech, I’m constantly researching, learning and exploring. I consider myself to be agile. I recreate a new plan if the current one isn’t working. So, yes, my approach to life is about having the best plan possible and to keep evolving.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
For now, our focus is on expanding Pivot. We launched in the summer so we’re still relatively new on the scene and so far the reception has been very promising indeed. I really hope that people will be able to find the support they need on the platform. There’s a fundamental need for this. I think our society and culture is more than ready for it.
Can you tell us a bit about your experience going through a divorce, or helping someone who was going through a divorce? What did you learn about yourself during and after the experience? Do you feel comfortable sharing a story?
I went through a divorce, the bereavement of my Dad, and a house move, all in the space of three months. That’s a lot to experience in such a short space of time. Through this difficult time, I learned that:
- The bad times pass, as do the good times.
- The only way out of something is through it. You have to get through the days and know that there is ‘light at the end of the tunnel’, even though you might feel like you’re going through a ‘tunnel of fire’!
- Where you are now is not where you will be in six months, one year or two years. This is just a chapter, or a season of your life. You might feel like you’re in a dark winter but summer will be here before you know it.
In your opinion, what are the most common mistakes people make after they go through a divorce? What can be done to avoid that?
It’s important to take time to heal and to process the changes in your life. It’s really important to get to know yourself, to have self-awareness, to recognise your needs and habits, in order to make better decisions and choices in your life, and in your future relationships.
People generally label “divorce” as being “negative”. And yes, while there are downsides, there can also be a lot of positive that comes out of it as well. What would you say that they are? Can you share an example or share a story?
I actually don’t think divorce is a negative thing, it’s merely a change of direction. The origins of the word are from the Latin word ‘divertere’ which means to separate and move in a different direction. That’s all it is — a course correction. While my divorce itself and the circumstances around it have been very painful, I have had a hugely positive outcome to my divorce. I’ve built a business that is purpose-led and I’m able to earn an income while also helping others through this journey. I’m much happier now.
Some people are scared to ‘get back out there’ and date again after being with their former spouse for many years and hearing dating horror stories. What would you say to motivate someone to get back out there and start a new beginning?
Start slowly, don’t jump in too fast, and go have some fun! Most importantly, do what feels good and feels right for you. Lastly, make sure you have the right support, in fact, make sure you have a tribe.
What is the one thing people going through a divorce should be open to changing?
If you’re going through a divorce I’d say be open to the vision of your future life. You have to let go of your expectations and the life you thought you would have. In some cases, post-divorce might be better, in others, it might just be different for a while until you can find the best way forward for you.
If you had a close friend come to you for advice after a divorce, what are 5 things you would advise in order to survive and thrive after the divorce? Can you please give a story or example for each?
- Stay in the present, don’t worry about the future or keep thinking about the past. Don’t keep going back to what mistakes you made or what could have been different.
- Be open to new opportunities and possibilities. Try to be adventurous and to say ‘yes’ to things that might be out of your comfort zone. One of our coaches agreed to go on a solo trip to Africa and she now has made a whole new group of close friends and they travel together all the time.
- Try to incorporate a mindfulness practice into your life — this can be journalling, meditation or a gratitude practice.
- Get out and exercise. When you move your body, you shift and change your energy.
- Self-care is really important. Take time out for yourself. Treat yourself once in a while — it can be as simple as going for a walk and listening to a podcast for some time out, buying a coffee for yourself once a week, or something more extravagant like booking into a spa/retreat, if you can!
The stress of a divorce can take a toll on both one’s mental and emotional health. In your opinion or experience, what are a few things people going through a divorce can do to alleviate this pain and anguish?
Practice mindfulness and meditation — this will help support your nervous system and keep you grounded and regulated but it will also help you cultivate self-awareness too. Movement is also so important. Exercise and shift your energy — this is great from a physical health point of view but also movement can help to release or move emotions.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I love podcasts!
Feel better live more — Rangan Chatterjee: I love Rangan’s guests and his very practical tips on how to lower stress levels. I have his book, ‘The Stress Solution’, and I think it’s excellent. He does a long-form podcast once a week (2 hours approx.) and one bitesize podcast every Friday (20 mins) which I really enjoy.
The Mel Robbins Podcast: She’s just really inspirational and her own story of emerging from debt and other life challenges to huge success inspires me.
The Fit and Fulfilled Podcast: Thriving from the inside out — Khushbu Thadani. This is a manifestation coach who does short podcasts twice a week with very tangible, actionable steps and very real talk.
A Millennial Mind — with Shivani Pau: Great guests, real talk — simply inspirational.
How to Fail — Elizabeth Day: This highlights that everyone is human, and failure is part of success. Without failing, you cannot succeed.
Great Company — Jamie Laing: I find his guests inspirational, knowledgeable and often it’s a lot of fun.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Talking to people and reducing shame and stigma about our emotional and mental health challenges, especially around break up and divorce. I’m hoping that Pivot will contribute to a shift in attitude towards divorce. I’m hoping we will help to not only normalise the experience of divorce but also offer a space which reduces isolation and encourages support and empowerment.
We are very blessed that very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Deepak Chopra. I’ve found Deepak’s meditations, teachings and book really helpful for me as part of my spiritual journal. I love his meditations programmes — he often does sequences that you can listen to over a certain period of time, and build on your learnings. I think his mindset coaching and the framework in which he encourages you to view the world is inspiring, and hopeful.
Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!
Nimrita Dadlani Of PIvot On 5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.