Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Jen McKelvie Of Original Parti On Strategies for a Healthier Work Environment
An Interview With Vanessa Ogle
Responsibility — The theme of my interview! The more responsibility you take, the more power you have — remember that! There are always 3 sides to every situation — you, the other and the setting. If you can take responsibility for yourself, that is more than most people do. If you can take responsibility for yourself AND the setting — you’ve won.
Toxic work environments can have a significant impact on employees’ mental health, productivity, and overall job satisfaction. From poor communication and office politics to bullying and burnout, toxicity in the workplace can manifest in many forms. What are the most effective strategies to address and overcome these challenges? How can organizations and employees work together to create healthier, more supportive work environments? In this interview series, we are talking with with leaders, HR professionals, organizational psychologists, business leaders, and experts about “Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Strategies for a Healthier Work Environment.” As a part of this series I had the pleasure of interviewing Jen McKelvie.
Jen’s career completing $100M in projects around the world, 17 years of corporate and start-up experience and 26 years of spiritual development and exploration revealed a gap in the market — the unification of the material and spiritual planes in the business world is almost non-existent. Jen’s work integrates the 3D with spiritual technologies providing an innovative, holistic approach to both leadership and life. Jen assists entrepreneurs and executives with big picture business strategy anchored by big picture internal healing; clearing the way for more easeful relationships, more effective leadership and a more elevated experience in both work and life.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
I started my career in Architecture and then moved to construction in NYC. I was the only woman on 400-man construction sites and I was in a leadership role. At the same time I was deep into my spiritual evolution and I realized how hugely beneficial that was to me ‘surviving’ on these job sites. The more I utilized the spiritual technologies I had been learning and embodying, the better my leadership, money, career and life became. I realized that this type of work would be greatly beneficial to people both starting and running businesses to ensure they are centered in who they are so that their business is life giving instead of depleting.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I think the most interesting part of my work has been two-fold: the perfect paradox of how different we all are and also how we are all exactly the same. When I was in construction, I had the opportunity of working with people from all walks of life (hello NYC construction sites!) but also from all around the world. It really opened my eyes to the importance of being around a diverse group of people, it helped me hone my communication and also gave me tons of new perspectives and problems to solve. That experience is one of the big reasons I am so comfortable working with anyone in my consulting business as I facilitate healing work alongside business strategy, I see how similar our pain and suffering is. When you see so many similarities in such a diverse range of people, it really is very special.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
In the first Architecture firm I worked in right out of college, I was tasked with taking meeting notes. In one of the first meetings, the contractor and my boss were talking about rebar. I sorta knew what it was, but not really because I spelled it ‘reid bar’ on the meeting notes LOL! This taught me a few things: Putting newbies into client meetings right away and making them an active participant by taking notes is a huge opportunity for growth and one I use today with any employees or interns I have. It also taught me that I don’t know nearly as much as I think I do — a realization that has stayed with me all these years later.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson had a profound impact on me when I read it in my late-20’s. I think it was instrumental in my willingness to look at my darker nature. This is really profound work that is avoided by many, but is one of the core aspects of healing and becoming a great leader.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
I don’t know if this is a quote, but at some point (when I had a really horrible ‘boss’) I realized that no one knows what they’re doing. Like we all think we do, but we mostly don’t — and those that are successful don’t let that stop them. It helped me realize that I can learn on the fly and it’s one of the reasons I got so far in my career when a lot of other women weren’t seeing a lot of growth — I was willing to not know but move anyway.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a simple definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does does workplace toxicity mean?
Oxford dictionary gives two definitions — poisonous and very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. I personally think this word is really overused in our culture. Everything these days is toxic, but that’s impossible. Just because someone is uncomfortable, doesn’t mean they’re in a toxic environment. And just because someone is hard to be around or work with, does not mean they’re toxic. Like with all situations, we each have our own relationship to the concept of ‘toxic’.
Can you describe a time when you personally encountered or helped resolve workplace toxicity?
At one point I had a co-worker who, although we were equals, tried his best to treat me like his secretary and take credit for my work. It was non-stop no matter what I said or how many meetings with HR I had. At the time, I for sure thought he was toxic and that the workplace was allowing this toxic behavior. But when I zoom out, I was just as toxic. I was extraordinarily rude and condescending to him; I was also a nightmare to work with.
If I had more self-responsibility, I’m sure the situation would not have been so horrible, but I didn’t. I wanted him to change and I wanted HR/ the president of the company to be responsible. In all honesty, that is not how life works and that was a huge lesson for me. It ended when I realized that no-one was coming to save me and I quit the job — which was super hard because it was a prestigious position with a lot of power, access and money, plus it was great for my career. But I learned the hard way that I’m the only one who can make my life better, it’s my responsibility.
What were the key signs that the environment was toxic?
The moment I met this soon-to-be coworker, I had a bad feeling. But I ignored it because I wanted the prestigious position. That right there shows a lack of personal responsibility and trust in myself.
What are some of the most common causes of toxic work environments, and how can leaders recognize these issues before they become pervasive?
One of the best ways to prevent a ‘toxic’ work environment is to be aware and honest about what kind of environment the workplace is. I mentioned previously that we all have different levels of what we can (and want to) handle and how we thrive. Some people really do thrive in chaotic environments, or super high pressure workplaces. Some people don’t mind a boss who screams or coworkers who are constantly jostling for superiority. Something you realize on a spiritual journey is that there is no objective right or wrong, there is just personal right or wrong.
People interviewing must have more self-responsibility; if a workplace is high-stakes and they know they don’t do well with pressure (for example), why are they interviewing? On the opposite side of the coin, leadership must lay out exactly what the culture is, not what they wish it was or try to sugarcoat how it is. The problem is, we live in a culture where it isn’t acceptable to be honest about aspects that don’t fit into the current narrative.
If we take my work example, I first didn’t have the confidence and self-responsibility to say that I had a bad feeling to the company’s president who was interviewing me. And the president wasn’t honest about the culture, which was that they were growing really fast and didn’t have time to deal with any drama and they also needed bodies, so no one was getting let go. It was also a construction company and that right there, often, has an ‘old school’ culture, even though everyone was wearing suits — I knew that, he knew that and we both ignored it.
There is definitely the case when leadership doesn’t know all the ins and outs of the culture because they are too removed, but that is why self-responsibility is so important.
What steps can employees take to address workplace toxicity if they feel uncomfortable or unsupported by leadership?
I think I answered this, but no one is coming to save you. Maybe that is harsh, but the sooner you figure that out, the better. If something is not working for you and you’ve gone through the appropriate channels and nothing changes, then it’s time to leave. It might take a bit of time while you save money or look for a new job, but put a plan into place for your exit and move toward that. You will feel so powerful and proud of yourself when you take the reins back on your own life.
What role does mental health play in navigating workplace toxicity, and how can both employees and organizations prioritize mental wellness?
I’m going to sound like a broken record, but: self-responsibility is the answer. The bigger answer is that to get to a place where you can actually be self-responsible there is often deconditioning and healing that needs to happen. This is the personal development route that I specialize in. When we heal our root traumas, we really do set ourselves free. And from this freedom, our self-responsibility grows. We can admit who we really are and what we really want.
When it comes to businesses prioritizing mental wellness, this isn’t the business’s job (I can hear the gasps 🙂 ). This is an inside job; your responsibility. If it is important to leadership, then they may have all sorts of ways that they encourage and provide aspects for mental wellness, but this will be their version of wellness. The company may think wellness means meditation, so they provide pods in the office. But maybe wellness for you is more vacation days so you can go camping. It often doesn’t line up, and so it’s up to you to handle your own business.
Can you share some strategies or practices that individuals and teams can implement to create a healthier and more productive work environment? Please share your “5 Strategies For A Healthier Work Environment”?
1. Responsibility — The theme of my interview! The more responsibility you take, the more power you have — remember that! There are always 3 sides to every situation — you, the other and the setting. If you can take responsibility for yourself, that is more than most people do. If you can take responsibility for yourself AND the setting — you’ve won.
In my work example, once I took responsibility for who I was being in the situation as well as the fact that I took the job even though I had a weird feeling — that was when I was able to quit which resulted in my life getting exponentially better in all aspects. But it started with taking the majority of the responsibility.
2. Healing Work — Go to the dark places in your mind and heart, they are there to help you become more you. The more of yourself you can accept, the less power others and the world at large have over you. I know it is scary, but it pays dividends! I like to say that we are human for a reason, and that being human means that you’re here to experience all — not just the good. When we get in touch with and learn to accept the parts of ourselves we’re ashamed of, or hateful toward, this is how we heal ourselves and contribute to the healing of the world.
3. Understanding Boundaries — Boundaries are pretty misunderstood and therefore misused! Once you learn to take responsibility then you can actually set and hold boundaries, otherwise they are normally used as a way to punish or manipulate.
4. Movement — A universal way to reduce stress and clear your head is to move. Move however you want, but do it often.
5. Time Alone — In today’s fast paced, social media world it is really easy to never be alone. But it is one of the most crucial ways to spend your time and it is an easy access point to #1,2,3 & 4! Commute with no sound. Work out in silence. Take a walk without your phone. Spend time each day being with yourself before you’re with social media. When you cultivate a connection to just being around yourself without podcasts, audio books, music, the news, netflix, other people, instagram… it becomes a lot easier to know yourself, process information, solve problems, access other parts of yourself, understand bigger concepts — honestly it will change your life.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
Again, there is no objective ‘good’, but my view of good is a world where we learn to do the deeper healing work so we stop projecting our version of good and bad all over everyone. This is a spiritual journey of trauma and shadow healing as well as moving from the subjective (I want everyone to be xyz) to objective (I want everyone to be their truest expression whether I agree with it or not)
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
I think Amanda Chantal Bacon of Moon Juice is so dope! I think she is a true visionary, I love her creativity and her willingness to be herself.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I would love to connect! You can find me on Instagram @original.parti
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
Thank you so much!
About The Interviewer: Vanessa Ogle is a mom, entrepreneur, inventor, writer, and singer/songwriter. Vanessa’s talent in building world-class leadership teams focused on diversity, a culture of service, and innovation through inclusion allowed her to be one of the most acclaimed Latina CEO’s in the last 30 years. She collaborated with the world’s leading technology and content companies such as Netflix, Amazon, HBO, and Broadcom to bring innovative solutions to travelers and hotels around the world. Vanessa is the lead inventor on 120+ U.S. Patents. Accolades include: FAST 100, Entrepreneur 360 Best Companies, Inc. 500 and then another six times on the Inc. 5000. Vanessa was personally honored with Inc. 100 Female Founder’s Award, Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award, and Enterprising Women of the Year among others. Vanessa now spends her time sharing stories to inspire and give hope through articles, speaking engagements and music. In her spare time she writes and plays music in the Amazon best selling new band HigherHill, teaches surfing clinics, trains dogs, and cheers on her children.
Please connect with Vanessa here on linkedin and subscribe to her newsletter Unplugged as well as follow her on Substack, Instagram, Facebook, and X and of course on her website VanessaOgle.
Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Jen McKelvie Of Original Parti On Strategies for a Healthier Work… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.