Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Darcy Luoma Of Darcy Luoma Coaching & Consulting On Strategies for a Healthier Work Environment
An Interview With Vanessa Ogle
Communicate with Crystal Clarity
A lot of workplace friction comes from simple miscommunication. Make it a habit to check in regularly, set clear expectations, and ask for feedback. I had a client who was overwhelmed because their boss kept adding tasks to their plate without giving clear deadlines. They eventually asked for a weekly check-in where priorities were reviewed, which cleared up the confusion and reduced their stress. Simple, right? But powerful.
Toxic work environments can have a significant impact on employees’ mental health, productivity, and overall job satisfaction. From poor communication and office politics to bullying and burnout, toxicity in the workplace can manifest in many forms. What are the most effective strategies to address and overcome these challenges? How can organizations and employees work together to create healthier, more supportive work environments? In this interview series, we are talking with with leaders, HR professionals, organizational psychologists, business leaders, and experts about “Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Strategies for a Healthier Work Environment.” As a part of this series I had the pleasure of interviewing Darcy Luoma.
DARCY LUOMA, CPCC, CSP, MCC, BCC, ORSCC, MSOD is the CEO of Darcy Luoma Coaching & Consulting, a company that specializes in creating high-performing people and teams. She is a sought-after
coach and consultant who has worked in forty-eight industries with more than five hundred organizations, impacting tens of thousands of leaders and employees over the last twenty years. Before Darcy started her business in 2013, she served as director of United States Senator Kohl’s office for twelve years, did national advance work for the White House, worked for two presidential campaigns, and served as a trusted senior advisor to a governor.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
I spent the first two decades of my career in politics, where I quickly learned that handling stress, navigating complex relationships, and staying calm under pressure were essential skills. Over time, I discovered my true passion was in helping others build these same strengths. I became fascinated with how we communicate, manage stress, and resolve conflicts — core ‘people’ skills. So, I shifted gears twelve years ago into coaching and consulting, creating the Thoughtfully Fit framework to help others develop the mental resilience and flexibility to tackle any challenge that comes their way.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
Since I began my career, life has taught me one big lesson: you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond. I learned this on a deep level back in March 2016. I was in my home office, surrounded by sticky notes and flip charts, finalizing the Thoughtfully Fit® model with my colleague. My husband, John, was cheering us on while juggling snacks and our two young daughters. Life felt full and exciting — I was about to launch my new framework to help others navigate their challenges.
Five days later, everything changed. I got a call from my neighbor saying my house was surrounded by a SWAT team, and John was being taken away in handcuffs. He had been arrested for something unthinkable, and my life was shattered in an instant. I went from building a model to help others handle crises to using this same model to face the biggest crises of my own. Suddenly, I was a single mom, managing a business, and trying to shield my daughters from the chaos.
In the months that followed, Thoughtfully Fit became my lifeline. Those sticky notes weren’t just for clients anymore — they were for me. I leaned on the same principles I was teaching others: pause, focus on what you can control, and respond intentionally. It didn’t make the challenges disappear, but it helped me navigate them without losing myself in the process. That experience taught me that even in life’s darkest moments, there’s strength in how you choose to respond.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I was just starting out, I was staffing the senator for the first time. I was so nervous and determined to be prepared for every possible scenario. As we were driving to the event, the senator casually asked, “Did you grab my glasses?” My stomach dropped. I hadn’t. I admitted it, and while he seemed unbothered, I immediately went into troubleshooting mode, mentally calculating if I could somehow sprint back to the office and grab them.
When we got to the event, there was a receiving line of dignitaries. The senator smiled and said, “Have you all met Darcy? She forgot my glasses.” I was mortified. I started plotting my escape to retrieve the glasses — until the senator got up to the podium. Very slowly, he reached into his suit pocket, looked me straight in the eye, and pulled out his glasses with a big grin. He’d had them the whole time.
It was a joke. (And maybe a little bit of a test.) That moment taught me two things: First, you can’t prepare for everything. Second, it’s okay to laugh at yourself and bring a little playfulness into your work. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since!
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl changed the way I view challenges. Frankl’s message — that we can’t always control our circumstances, but we can always control our response — hit me like a lightning bolt. I read it during a rough patch in my life, and it helped me find purpose in the chaos. It’s also a big influence on my Thoughtfully Fit model. I help people focus on what they can control, especially when life feels out of their hands. Frankl’s approach to resilience is one I come back to again and again.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” — John Lennon
This quote has carried me through some of my toughest days. Life has this way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it, and I’ve had my fair share!
One of the biggest challenges hit me when my personal life blew up. It was like a bomb went off — I felt like everything I’d worked for was crashing down, and for a moment, I thought my business, my reputation, and my happiness would all be gone. I was in survival mode, just doing my best to get through each day, and I remember thinking, “How on earth will things ever be okay again?”
But then I’d remind myself of that quote. It was this little message of hope that helped me take things one step at a time, trusting that if I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, I’d come out the other side. And it was true. I made it through that storm, grew from it, and came out with a stronger business and a deeper understanding of what resilience really means. When COVID hit, and we had 23 events get canceled over the course of a few days, that quote grounded me all over again. I thought, “Okay, this is hard. But it’s not the end.”
Sometimes, life is messy and uncertain, and things feel overwhelming. But when I remind myself that it’s not the end — that there’s more life, more growth, and more possibility ahead — it gives me the strength to keep going. And what I’ve learned is that what you do next is what shapes your future. It might not be easy, but it’s in those tough moments that we get the chance to create something new. And that’s where the hope lies.
What does workplace toxicity mean?
Workplace toxicity is like that forgotten, expired yogurt lurking in the fridge — nobody wants to deal with it, but it only gets nastier if ignored. Simply put, it’s any behavior or culture that poisons the vibe at work. Sometimes it’s obvious: eye rolls, blatant disrespect, heated arguments. Other times, it’s sneaky, like those passive-aggressive emails, missed commitments, or post-meeting meetings where issues simmer but never surface directly.
In a toxic workplace, you’re more likely to feel drained than energized, and work becomes something to endure rather than enjoy.
Can you describe a time when you personally encountered or helped resolve workplace toxicity?
Workplace toxicity is sneakier and more prominent than people realize. It tends to grow quietly, like weeds, until one day you’ve got a full-blown field of dandelions on your hands. I help teams tackle these team dynamics before it gets out of control. But too often, teams wait until things are unbearable before finally deciding to address them.
I remember a team leader calling me about some ‘turf issues’ with a new team. Everyone was still figuring out their roles — classic ‘storming’ stage in team development, as Tuckman would define it. It’s a bit uncomfortable, sure, but if teams address it early, they can work through it and come out stronger. The problem is this team didn’t talk about what they needed to do to work together as an executive team. Instead, they focused on their departments and how to ‘win.’ That’s when things get toxic.
Once it goes from roles to turf wars, it’s no longer about getting aligned — it’s personal. Suddenly, people are questioning each other’s motives, work ethic, and even character. And once those kinds of judgments are out there, trust tanks. Rebuilding trust is like pulling weeds by hand: possible, but a lot more painful than nipping things in the bud in the first place.
We helped this team get back on track by guiding them to shift their focus from “winning” for their departments to aligning on a shared vision for the organization. Through open discussions and targeted exercises, we helped team members address their underlying assumptions and rebuild trust, creating a safe space to clear the air and address the elephants lurking in the room.
By learning to communicate openly and address issues as they came up, they began to see each other as allies rather than competitors. In time, the team moved from a defensive, turf-driven mindset to one built on collaboration and mutual respect, ready to tackle their challenges together instead of working at cross-purposes.
What were the key signs that the environment was toxic?
When you feel like you’re gearing up for battle every morning before even stepping into the office, that’s a clear sign! For this team, every day felt like a fight. They were fighting each other, but it also trickled down throughout the organization. You could feel the us vs. them in the organization. You could see the whispers and the side glances. You could hear it in the meetings that were either tense or dull because no one was engaged.
In this environment, it’s not just that you dread meetings or even opening your e-mail inbox, but it’s inevitable that the quality of work will be affected. When people spend time gossiping or trying to interpret what someone really meant, that’s less time spent on what they are actually getting paid to do. When employees and leaders aren’t talking to each other, you won’t have the collaboration necessary to solve the big problems or create the next big thing. More often than not, a key sign that an environment is toxic is that the organization is not achieving the desired results.
What are some of the most common causes of toxic work environments, and how can leaders recognize these issues before they become pervasive?
Many of the root causes of toxic environments start as completely normal, everyday team dynamics. Different personalities, varied work styles, unique experiences — all that diversity brings so much value to a team. But here’s where things can go off the rails: when people get stuck in the mindset of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Instead of appreciating those differences, team members start digging in their heels, and suddenly, it’s not a healthy debate — it’s a battle of egos.
For leaders, the trick is to recognize and reframe these situations early. If they notice people repeatedly clashing, it’s a sign to jump in and help everyone see the value in each other’s approaches. Encourage curiosity, ask open-ended questions, and foster a team culture where different perspectives are seen as assets, not threats. This simple shift can prevent what could’ve been healthy conflict from becoming something much more difficult to untangle down the road.
What steps can employees take to address workplace toxicity if they feel uncomfortable or unsupported by leadership?
If you’re dealing with a challenging workplace environment, open communication is your best tool. Start by asking questions that open up dialogue rather than trigger defensiveness. Sometimes, simply saying, “Can we talk about how we’re working together?” can break the ice. Focus on the work, not the personalities. Get clear on what your request is moving forward instead of just discussing wrongs from the past.
Try to approach conversations with curiosity instead of criticism. Ask for others’ perspectives, and look for points where you can align. It’s incredible how often misunderstandings can be cleared up simply by having a conversation that no one dared to start. And if it doesn’t solve everything right away, you’ll still know you made the effort to communicate and create a healthier environment. That’s powerful in itself.
What role does mental health play in navigating workplace toxicity, and how can both employees and organizations prioritize mental wellness?
Mental health is critical, but let’s be clear: if workplace toxicity is affecting people’s mental health, we’re looking at two serious issues, not just one. Toxicity doesn’t just hurt morale — it can lead to actual mental and emotional strain for employees. So, while mental wellness matters, focusing on the behaviors and patterns that create a toxic environment in the first place is essential.
Building awareness around individual behaviors and how they impact the team is critical. Encouraging open feedback and making it okay to call out unhealthy dynamics can prevent toxicity from taking root. Organizations can create regular check-ins to discuss team dynamics, and employees can be mindful of how they show up, communicate, and handle differences. When the focus shifts to creating a healthy culture, mental wellness becomes a natural outcome — not a repair job.
Can you share some strategies or practices that individuals and teams can implement to create a healthier and more productive work environment? Please share your “5 Strategies For A Healthier Work Environment”?
1. Practice the Pause
One of the simplest yet most powerful strategies is just pausing before taking action. This means taking a beat to think when things get tense instead of firing off an emotional response.
Pausing is just as necessary for managing our internal reactions as it is for handling others. I remember coaching a team leader who often felt defensive during meetings, especially when his ideas were challenged. He noticed he’d get tense and start rushing to defend his position, which didn’t exactly help foster a collaborative vibe. He worked on practicing the pause — taking a deep breath and thinking about how he wanted to respond when he felt that initial spike of defensiveness.
Pausing helped him listen more openly, and others responded more positively to his ideas. Sometimes, that tiny pause is all it takes to turn a reaction into a response — and it can make a big difference in the whole team’s dynamics.
2. Ditch the Judgement, Double Down on Curiosity
Differences in teams can be a source of conflict or creativity, depending on how we handle them. Encourage people to be curious instead of jumping to conclusions. In one team I worked with, two members clashed because of their opposite working styles. They were so focused on trying to convince each other how they were wrong they weren’t getting anywhere.
But the big picture person was never going to be the detail person. And the analyst was never going to be the visionary. They both had strengths necessary for the team. But those strengths also created conflict. Once they could get to a place of curiosity and recognize that the judgment wasn’t helping anything, they could figure out how to leverage each other’s strengths. Over time, they learned to respect each other and work better together.
3. Communicate with Crystal Clarity
A lot of workplace friction comes from simple miscommunication. Make it a habit to check in regularly, set clear expectations, and ask for feedback. I had a client who was overwhelmed because their boss kept adding tasks to their plate without giving clear deadlines. They eventually asked for a weekly check-in where priorities were reviewed, which cleared up the confusion and reduced their stress. Simple, right? But powerful.
4. Reflect, Revamp, Repeat
Taking time to reflect helps individuals and teams learn from successes and struggles. Teams can get so focused on tasks and processes that they overlook the impact their dynamics have on overall performance and morale. When I work with teams, we start by designing an alliance — a clear agreement on how they want to work together, communicate, and resolve conflicts. Then, we set aside time for regular reflection, where the team assesses what’s going well and what might need adjustment.
One team I worked with found that their meetings were productive but didn’t leave space for everyone to feel heard. Through reflection, they realized they needed to build in time for quieter voices to contribute. It was a small change, but it transformed the team’s sense of inclusion and engagement. When teams make reflection a habit, they create an environment where everyone can grow and contribute at their best. And that’s good for business and organizational results.
5. Build Trust, Brick by Brick
Trust is the foundation of any healthy, productive team. When people trust each other, they feel safe to share ideas, take risks, and communicate openly. Building trust starts with small actions — keeping promises, showing appreciation, and being transparent. I worked with a team that struggled because members didn’t feel they could rely on each other. We started small, with each person committing to a single action to support a teammate. Over time, those small actions added up, and the team became much more cohesive and open with each other.
Trust isn’t built overnight, but once it’s there, it allows everyone to feel secure, valued, and ready to do their best work.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
If I could inspire one movement, it would be Thoughtfully Fit. In the same way you need to train and practice to be physically fit, you must also train and practice to handle whatever life throws at you with grace and intention.
What does that look like? It means responding instead of reacting, choosing curiosity over judgment, and staying focused on what you can control. Imagine a world where, before reacting in any situation — especially the stressful, challenging, or frustrating ones — we all took a moment to Pause, Think, and then Act thoughtfully. So often, we’re quick to react out of habit or emotion, leading to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even toxic environments. But when we Pause, we create that small but powerful space to respond in a way aligned with our values and goals.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
If I could have breakfast with anyone, it’d be Brené Brown, hands down. I’d probably try not to fan-girl too hard, but honestly, how cool would it be to chat over coffee with the queen of vulnerability? I’d love to pick her brain on balancing courage with keeping it real — especially in those moments when you’re sweating through a tough decision or struggling with navigating a toxic person. Plus, I’d love to hear more of her amazing stories about the power of vulnerability, maybe even a few that never made it to her TED talks or books.
Coffee, eggs, and life wisdom from Brené? Yes, please!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Check out www.DarcyLuoma.com!
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
About The Interviewer: Vanessa Ogle is a mom, entrepreneur, inventor, writer, and singer/songwriter. Vanessa’s talent in building world-class leadership teams focused on diversity, a culture of service, and innovation through inclusion allowed her to be one of the most acclaimed Latina CEO’s in the last 30 years. She collaborated with the world’s leading technology and content companies such as Netflix, Amazon, HBO, and Broadcom to bring innovative solutions to travelers and hotels around the world. Vanessa is the lead inventor on 120+ U.S. Patents. Accolades include: FAST 100, Entrepreneur 360 Best Companies, Inc. 500 and then another six times on the Inc. 5000. Vanessa was personally honored with Inc. 100 Female Founder’s Award, Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award, and Enterprising Women of the Year among others. Vanessa now spends her time sharing stories to inspire and give hope through articles, speaking engagements and music. In her spare time she writes and plays music in the Amazon best selling new band HigherHill, teaches surfing clinics, trains dogs, and cheers on her children.
Please connect with Vanessa here on linkedin and subscribe to her newsletter Unplugged as well as follow her on Substack, Instagram, Facebook, and X and of course on her website VanessaOgle.
Navigating Workplace Toxicity: Darcy Luoma Of Darcy Luoma Coaching & Consulting On Strategies for a… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.