An Interview With Lucinda Koza
Physical activity. Once you’ve been cleared to exercise or feel strong enough to move your body, start with walking and then incorporate light strength training and pelvic floor exercises. Physical activity was extremely therapeutic for me. There were a lot of days when my exercise simply consisted of going for a walk with our baby in the stroller. While you find your groove as a mom, exercise doesn’t have to be regimented or strenuous, especially if you’re short on time.
Childbirth can be a beautiful yet challenging experience that impacts women both emotionally and physically. The journey to recovery is often filled with unique hurdles and personal growth. We would like to feature and interview individuals who have navigated this journey to share their stories and insights on the steps they took to heal emotionally and physically after a challenging childbirth. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Natalya Vasquez.
Natalya Vasquez is a certified personal trainer, health coach, and founder of On Your Terms Coaching. After ten years of working as an analyst in the public sector, Natalya left her career to start her own business, On Your Terms Coaching, which focuses on empowering women through fitness. Natalya has been published in Forbes, Women’s Health, AskMen and Fabulous California and is the author of the book “Dieting Reinvented…Just Kidding.”
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you tell us a bit about you and your backstory?
I’ve always wanted to do work that mattered to me, I was just too scared to take the leap of faith to leave a comfortable job and start my own business. After getting an undergraduate degree in Spanish from CSU Monterey Bay and a Master’s in Latin American Studies from UC San Diego, I spent 10 years working in the public sector primarily as an analyst. The work I did was important in the larger scheme of operating a large county entity, but it didn’t fulfill me on a personal level. I always felt a nudge to do something in the health and wellness sector, but I didn’t want to “throw out” my traditional degrees and leave the security of a public sector job. When my daughter was born, it changed everything. I didn’t want her to grow up with a parent that gave up on themselves out of fear of failing.
Can you share your childbirth experience and what made it particularly challenging for you, both emotionally and physically?
Our daughter was born four weeks early. I went in for my 36 week appointment where everything checked out beautifully, and the next day I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t stop peeing myself. When I emailed my nurse practitioner expecting a “nothing to worry about” response, she said, you should go to the hospital to get checked out.
So I texted my boss and told her I’d be back in a couple of hours.
Well, I was back six weeks later with a tiny six week old.
I gave birth during the Covid-19 pandemic when hospitals were constantly changing their policies about who and under what circumstances your partner would be allowed in the delivery room or whether they would even have in and out privileges.
Our plan was to isolate ourselves two weeks prior to the due date and drop off our dog with family, but our planning efforts were thrown out when we realized I’d be having our daughter four weeks early. Fortunately I went into labor when policies where mildly relaxed so my husband who tested negative for Covid could leave the hospital to walk and feed our dog.
No amount of books or friends’ personal stories can prepare you for your first labor experience. I was terrified going into labor, especially four weeks early. Would my daughter be okay? Would she have to go to the NICU and be away from us? Would I be okay? Would I be able to nurse? Would I have postpartum anxiety and depression? The anxiety and fear leading to birth was tremendous.
What were the first steps you took to begin the healing process after childbirth, and how did they help you cope with the initial emotional and physical aftermath?
As a certified personal trainer that specializes in pre and postnatal fitness, I knew that working on my physical health would help with any postpartum anxiety and depression. I have always found mental clarity and reduced anxiety after moving my body and this was the most important form of therapy for me.
After my daughter was born, I took 20–30 minutes each morning to exercise while my husband watched our newborn. I started by walking one to two miles daily and slowly incorporated strength training and pelvic floor exercises.
As a personal trainer, I felt like there was more pressure on me to “bounce back.” Perhaps the pressure was self-imposed, but I felt like people were watching to see how quickly I’d drop the pregnancy weight and that took a toll on my mental health.
I was nursing or pumping every two hours in the beginning and had broken sleep for two years postpartum because my daughter nursed until 22 months. I knew what to eat and how to exercise, but the lack of sleep for so long really took a toll on my hormones and my ability to lose body fat. It took me a full year to lose my pregnancy weight, and I’m a personal trainer! Even then, it took another year before my body composition started changing again. Regardless of your fitness level, stretch marks, cellulite and loose skin are real-life post pregnancy realities.
Did you seek support from healthcare professionals, family, or community groups during your recovery? If so, how did their involvement contribute to your healing journey?
Throughout my pregnancy and postpartum journey I connected with friends who had recently given birth and also sought out lactation consultants. I couldn’t believe the lack of information or resources on nursing. I didn’t even know what a lactation consultant was until I had my daughter who had a difficult time latching for 6 weeks after birth. I hired a private lactation consultant to help me through it, but without that support I would have given up.
I wanted to nurse my child and couldn’t. I felt like a failure. If this was natural, why couldn’t we make it work? Without my husband’s daily support to keep trying, I would have quit.
I realize that not everyone has the blessing of having that kind of encouragement so just know that if you are struggling, there are resources that can help you through it.
Were there any specific practices, such as mindfulness, therapy, or physical exercises, that played a significant role in your emotional and physical recovery?
Being in good physical shape pre-pregnancy and during pregnancy allowed my body to recover quickly. My body was strong going into labor and I was able to commence physical activity shortly after giving birth because my body healed well. I also believe that nutrition took a big role in helping with recovery. My diet consists of mostly whole foods with a large emphasis on animal protein which have higher ratios of amino acids that help your body with many vital functions like muscle and tissue repair, hormone regulation, and muscle growth.
I truly believe that if I didn’t fuel myself with nutrient dense foods and exercise throughout pregnancy and after (especially on little sleep), it would have taken my body significantly longer to recover and that in turn would have affected my mental health even more.
Can you please share “5 Things You Need to Heal Emotionally and Physically After a Challenging Childbirth”?
1 . A support system. I have an incredible husband who has been supportive throughout my pregnancy and postpartum journey, but I realize that not everyone has a partner who is physically and/or emotionally present. Your support system could be other family members, friends, or online support groups. Support could be that one person who has gone through something similar and empathizes with your journey. It could be someone that just listens while you talk, like a therapist. Regardless of what you’re feeling and experiencing, know that there are people out there that can support you in your postpartum journey.
2 . Physical activity. Once you’ve been cleared to exercise or feel strong enough to move your body, start with walking and then incorporate light strength training and pelvic floor exercises. Physical activity was extremely therapeutic for me. There were a lot of days when my exercise simply consisted of going for a walk with our baby in the stroller. While you find your groove as a mom, exercise doesn’t have to be regimented or strenuous, especially if you’re short on time.
3 . A few minutes to yourself. I realize that depending on your circumstance this might seem impossible, but if you can take 20–30 minutes to yourself, even while your baby naps to focus on something you enjoy doing instead of something you have to do like laundry and meal prep, it can be beneficial to your mental health. The time I spent by myself to move my body, listen to podcasts or read felt so luxurious. It gave me a temporary break to check-in with myself.
4 . Good nutrition comprised of primarily whole foods. Food will either nourish your body and give you strength or deplete you of energy. With less sleep and more stress and anxiety, now is the time to give your body nutritious food. Whenever I ate the candy, ice cream or treats to boost my energy, I quickly felt a slump in my energy levels. That’s what sugar does. It gives you a temporary surge in energy that’s followed by a low. When I ate whole foods like Greek yogurt, meat, poultry, fruits and veggies without the additives and added sugar, I had a constant energy source. I didn’t have those same dramatic highs and lows.
5 . Patience. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an impatient person. Without question, my daughter is here to teach me patience. I wanted to get back to my pre pregnancy weight right away. I wanted to sleep more. I wanted to be less anxious. But I couldn’t force those things to happen any quicker than they did. I was moving through the motions of being a first time mom and did the best I could, and everything else fell into place a lot later than I expected.
Getting back to feeling like yourself (an upgraded version now that you’re a mom) may take more time than you’d like. It may take more time for both your mental health and your body to get to a place that you feel good about. Be patient. Everyone is on their own journey. Don’t compare your progress to anyone else’s. You’ll get there.
In what ways has society supported you as a new mother recovering from a traumatic birthing experience?
I found a community of moms who had also recently gone through childbirth, and were navigating the balance between tending to a newborn and maintaining a professional life. The shared experiences helped me feel less alone.
In what ways have you felt unsupported, invalidated, or even re-traumatized?
In the US, you’re not given much time off to be with your newborn. Workplaces are not supportive of new moms and there is a huge gender bias as it relates to parenting and being a professional. Childcare in 2021 was a huge issue.
I was still working for local government when my daughter was born and my husband and I had to juggle working and watching our newborn and there was a drastic difference in how he and I were perceived.
My boss reprimanded me and questioned my ability to perform my job functions with a baby at home, meanwhile my husband proudly showed off our daughter on camera during multiple meetings and was greeted with oooohs and ahh. No-one questioned my husband’s ability to perform his work, but he was commended for being both a first time dad and doing his job well.
There is definitely a lot of stigma out there about a woman’s ability to do her job once she has a baby, even from other women with kids. We have a long way to go when it comes to moms being supported in the workforce.
How did you navigate the balance between taking care of your newborn and prioritizing your own healing needs during the postpartum period?
Your newborn’s needs are always prioritized before your own, but if you are lucky enough to have a supportive partner or someone to help you during that newborn stage to allow you even 30 minutes to yourself, then you can spend that time working on your physical strength and mental health.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)? Myself ten years ago. Boy did that young woman need a chat about life! A lot of clients start coaching with me in their late twenties. The opportunity and growth I envision for them is something I wish I had for myself at their age.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
This is going to sound like the simplest thing, but focus on your nutrition. Food is supposed to nourish you and give you energy, but with today’s inundation of ultra processed foods, food has become an addictive substance that helps us cope with difficult emotions and life stresses. We’re constantly looking for ways to feel better, and unfortunately many of us abuse food because it gives us a rush of dopamine which makes us temporarily feel good.
If you eliminate ultra processed foods, and incorporate more whole foods, especially animal proteins (if you’re a meat/poultry eater) your body and mind will operate at a greater capacity.
How can our readers follow your work online?
They can follow me on IG at natalyavasquezcoaching or visit my website www.onyourtermscoaching.com.
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
About the Interviewer: After becoming her father’s sole caregiver at a young age, Lucinda Koza founded I-Ally, a community-based app that provides access to services and support for millennial family caregivers. Mrs. Koza has had essays published in Thought Catalog, Medium Women, Caregiving.com and Hackernoon.com. She was featured in ‘Founded by Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Female Founders’ by Sydney Horton. A filmmaker, Mrs. Koza premiered short film ‘Laura Point’ at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival and recently co-directed ‘Caregivers: A Story About Them’ with Egyptian filmmaker Roshdy Ahmed. Her most notable achievement, however, has been becoming a mother to fraternal twins in 2023. Reach out to Lucinda via social media or directly by email: lucinda@i-ally.com.
Natalya Vasquez: What I Did to Heal Emotionally and Physically After a Challenging Childbirth was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.