An Interview With Stephanie Greer
Listen to the people around you. If they notice you’re acting differently talk to your doctor. You might need to adjust your medication, or maybe you need to talk with other people in your life to make you less stressed.
Living with schizophrenia presents a unique set of challenges. This condition can profoundly impact an individual’s personal, social, and professional life. But it’s crucial to note that countless individuals with schizophrenia lead productive and successful lives, transforming their experiences into powerful narratives of strength and resilience. We would like to share and shed light on the realities, the strategies, and the triumphs of navigating life with this disorder. For this series, we are talking to individuals who are diagnosed with schizophrenia, who can share their personal journeys, strategies, coping mechanisms, and expert advice to help others in similar situations. As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Michelle Hammer.
Michelle Hammer is a Schizophrenia Activist and spends her time passionately fighting stigma. Michelle was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 22 after a misdiagnosis of bipolar at age 18. In May 2015, she founded a mental health-focused clothing brand. Schizophrenic.NYC is a clothing brand with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! We really appreciate the courage it takes to publicly share your story. Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?
Hi, I’m Michelle Hammer, I’m from New York and I’ve experienced Schizophrenia symptoms since I was a child. My first hallucination was when I was in the car with my mother, I would see a man riding a motorcycle riding on the powerlines. I didn’t think anything of it at the time…. I thought it was my imaginary friend.
Later than that my soccer coach at around ae 12 was the the first person to call me Schizophrenic. He would ask me who I was talking to, in an embarrassing demeaning way to make fun of me.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite life lesson quote is “Confidence can get you anywhere.” For so many years I was harassed by paranoid voices telling me how pathetic I was, and I wasn’t capable of doing anything without embarrassing myself. Once I became medicated and those voices became quiet, I learned that confidence gives you the ability to take chances and try to achieve things you wouldn’t normally try because you are too afraid.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you share what your journey with schizophrenia has been like?
For me my mental illness story starts when I was 18 and I brought myself to my college health center. In 15–20 minutes, they told me I was Bipolar and I should be put on meds. They didn’t work well. I ended up in the psych ward after 2 months for a suicide attempt. After this I found a new Psychiatrist in town and he put me on a med that made me very subdued. I don’t know what he thought my diagnosis was. After college I went back home to New York City and found a psychiatrist and after a session or two and I explained all of my symptoms he told me I had Schizophrenia. At first, I was very upset about this diagnosis. Then one night I went out to dinner with my college roommates, and I decided to tell them I had Schizophrenia. Their responses were “Isn’t that what you had the whole time?” “That could have not been more obvious.” And “Yeah…we told you that.” I then realized if my best friends already knew and still loved me, why should I care about any negative reaction I have with people who I don’t care about.
Working with my Doctor on meds was a journey. We tried many. Adding meds, taking away meds, going up, going down. I can say now that I believe I am on the best medication I can be on and I am living my best life.
Was there a turning point for you when things started to change for the better? Can you please share a story?
When I was in college, I was on the Lacrosse team. I was an all-conference starting defender, yet because of my behavior (missing meds and acting like an idiot) I was not picked for captain my senior year. I decided at one point that I was not going to miss my meds and just take them when I was supposed to. The med I was on at this time I had to take 3 times a day so it wasn’t the easiest thing. When January came around I was in my coaches office, our assistant coach came in the office and they shut the door. I started getting nervous and thought to myself “just apologize…whatever you did just apologize.” But then to my amazement they told me my behavior has been so much better and a lot of people have been noticing. They then asked me if wanted to be captain. I then realized that taking meds at the right time and on schedule is important not only for me, but the people around me.
Who are some of the important people in your life who have been on this journey with you? How have they either helped you or made things harder?
My Mother — Supports my mental health treatment. She helps me with insurance paperwork.
My College Lacrosse Coach — She said she could notice if I had taken my meds in about 1 minute of talking to me. She helped me want to stay on a correct med schedule.
My Partner — Always reminds me to take my meds throughout the day. Mentions to me when I’m not acting right, and I should talk to my Doctor.
How has your experience been getting treatment? What do you wish mental health professionals understood better about navigating schizophrenia?
Getting treatment for Schizophrenia can be difficult because a lot of doctors can misdiagnose you because the voices in your head can make you too paranoid to tell the truth. Also, I think hearing the diagnosis of “Schizophrenia” can be so scary because of all the stigma. I think the Doctor needs to show people that the patient’s life is not over and they can still live fulfilling great lives. The worst thing to do is the give the patient a pamphlet of some person crying on the cover.
I really appreciate you sharing your journey, I believe over time stories like these will make a dramatic impact on the stigma of mental health conditions. Unfortunately, in today’s world, there is still a lot of stigma to navigate. How does stigma show up in your family or culture and how has it affected you?
When I was first diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 22, I felt I had a secret I couldn’t tell anyone about, and I hated it. I thought a mental illness should be treated like any other physical illness. Why couldn’t I tell an employer, or my co-workers? Why did I have to keep this secret from new friends I was making. So when I was 27, I wanted to do something to tell everyone I had Schizophrenia, reduce stigma, get the conversation started, and support the mentally ill homeless. What I did was start the brand Schizophrenic.NYC Mental Health Clothing Line. I pop-up on the streets of NYC selling mental health merch and I meet people from all over the world. With these people I talk about mental health awareness and stigma and everything you can imagine. People always tell me that either they have a mental illness, a friend does, or a family member does. If mental illness is so common, how is there so much stigma?
What are a few of the biggest misconceptions and myths out there about schizophrenia that you would like to dispel?
That Schizophrenia is the worst diagnosis. — It’s a spectrum illness.
That Schizophrenics are dangerous. — Schizophrenics are more likely to be the victim of violence, rather than the perpetrator.
That Schizophrenia is multiple personality disorder. — It’s not!
That Schizophrenics are not intelligent. — This is completely not true!
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. What are 5 things you learned from your journey that you think other people navigating life with schizophrenia or their family would benefit from knowing?
1 . Don’t be afraid to be honest with your doctor. A Schizophrenia diagnosis can be scary but being diagnosed with schizophrenia can be the best thing that can happen to you because now you can be treated for the correct illness.
2 . There is nothing wrong with needing medication. Nobody likes needing medication, but if it makes your life better, why not take it? If you have a headache there is no stigma about that medication. It should be the same for psych meds too.
3 . Listen to the people around you. If they notice you’re acting differently talk to your doctor. You might need to adjust your medication, or maybe you need to talk with other people in your life to make you less stressed.
4 . You probably will have to try many medications. Don’t get discouraged. It’s trial and error. It’s a process. It can take years.
5 . You can still live a normal life even with a schizophrenia diagnosis. There are many successful people living with Schizophrenia who have fulfilling happy lives. I have that life and you can too!
How has living with schizophrenia affected your relationships, both romantic and platonic? Any advice for others who are navigating relationships while managing the condition?
Having Schizophrenia can affect relationships. I find that its better to be open and honest. If you’re not feeling well tell them. I usually tell romantic partners right away to make sure I’m not wasting my time. For friends I let them meet me and then I tell them as if it’s no big deal. The bigger the deal you make of it, the more anxiety you will have about it. If you accept yourself, others will too.
Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that have helped you understand or manage your condition better?
A great podcast is ‘A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, And A Podcast’. A great Movie is the indie film Good Side of Bad (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6423814/)
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 🙂
When I was in high school and suffering from undiagnosed Schizophrenia and paranoid voices the only thing that helped me was watching a strong confident woman kick ass… and that was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sarah Michelle Gellar was my idol. The character of Buffy saved the world about 5 times before age 21. Her strength and power kept me going in my life. I would love to talk to Sarah Michelle Gellar and let her know she is the reason I am alive.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
https://www.instagram.com/schizophrenic.nyc/
https://www.tiktok.com/@schizophrenic.nyc?lang=en
https://youtube.com/@schizophrenicnyc
Thank you for your time and thoughtful answers. I know many people will gain so much from hearing this.
About The Interviewer: Stephanie Greer, PhD is the Co-founder and CEO of Akin Mental Health — a company dedicated to guiding families on their journey supporting a loved one with mental health challenges like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and severe depression. Stephanie is passionate about this topic from her own personal experience growing up with a mother who struggled with bipolar 1 disorder and found a path forward to overcome the obstacles and live well. Stephanie’s professional experience includes a doctorate in neuroscience as well as design research roles at Hopelab and Apple. Stephanie brings this personal passion together with her world-class science and technology background to support families across the US in their personal journeys supporting loved ones with mental illness. To learn more about Akin Mental Health and join our community, visit us at akinmh.com.
Michelle Hammer Of Schizophrenic.NYC: How I Navigate Life With Schizophrenia, And How You Can Too was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.