Mental Wellness Mastery: Mental Health Expert Jezabel May Of Westside NeuroTherapeutics On Everyday Life Hacks For Optimal Mental Wellness
An Interview With Eden Gold
Practice mindful awareness. It sounds cliché, but connect with the present.
In our modern, fast-paced society, mental wellness is a crucial aspect of leading a fulfilling life. However, for many people, achieving and maintaining good mental health can be a challenging task, with obstacles such as stress, anxiety, depression, and more. That’s why it’s essential to have practical and accessible strategies for mental wellness that can help build resilience, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Jezabel May.
Jezabel is a no-nonsense mental health and wellness coach blending clinical expertise with a direct, results-oriented approach. With a background in psychology and consciousness research, she now specializes in psychoanalysis, cognitive-, neuro-, and social psychology. Today, she run a TMS clinic in Santa Monica, using brain stimulation therapy to treat patients struggling with depression.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about Mental Wellness Life Hacks, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Happy to! I have always had an interest in how the mind works. I devoured all the self-help and psychology books I could get my hands on until pursuing a graduate degree in Psychology became my only way forward. Once in grad school, I quickly became fascinated with the brain and the powerful mind-body connection.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I think the most exciting thing to me is witnessing people transform to the point that they have epiphanies and insights that even surprise themselves. I get so moved when I observe an individual recognizing their growth for the first time and experiencing pride and gratitude.
Generally, when people first come to me, they struggle, feel hopeless, and, quite frankly, not very kind to themselves. They tend to be self-critical and don’t realize that this perpetuates an endless negative spiral.
I guide my clients through intensive exercises to facilitate mental restructuring and extinguish cognitive dissonance, which is often the root cause of their pain. This usually happens by deeply diving into their cognitive biases automatic negative thoughts, and examining how their upbringing influences and shapes their current attitudes and choices.
You are a successful individual. Which three-character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
1. Tenacity: When I set my sights on something, I sink my teeth in until I reach my goal. Honestly, it’s not even a choice for me; it’s like an animal instinct takes over. For instance, when I sought out consciousness research experience, despite being underqualified at the time, I tirelessly contacted every relevant institution within a 30-mile radius. I persisted until someone finally gave me a chance, and then I exceeded their expectations.
2. Openness to Feedback: I haven’t always been open to feedback; in fact, I used to fear it. I took criticism very personally and would become upset. I’d often vent to friends, saying, “Can you believe that’s what they think of me?” However, I learned that being open to feedback is directly linked to vulnerability, which fosters personal growth. Now, I actively seek input from others. I ask them to tell me what I can improve rather than focusing solely on what I’m already good at.
3. Adaptability: The world is evolving rapidly, not just due to factors like COVID-19 or the rise of AI, but also through societal shifts such as those related to diversity, inclusion, and changing stigmas or habits. I’ve always prided myself on being highly adaptable. For instance, I was born and raised in Germany, spent eight years in China, and had experiences in France, Texas, and Wisconsin. Each place has unique culture and norms, requiring adaptability to fit in.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview about mental wellness mastery. What is one often-overlooked daily habit that can significantly improve one’s mental wellness?
I’m torn between “Make Your Bed” and “If It Takes Less Than 5 Minutes, Do It Immediately.”
– Making Your Bed: This simple yet transformative habit can alter your mindset, enhance productivity, and elevate overall well-being. It provides a sense of accomplishment, reduces clutter-induced stress, and sets a positive tone for the day. Start with a small task in the morning, such as making your bed, which releases dopamine and motivates you to tackle other challenges throughout the day. Additionally, making your bed can reduce visual disorganization by up to 50%, thus improving focus, emotion regulation, and executive function. This is particularly crucial in the context of the new work-from-home movement.
– Immediate Tasks: There’s a similar philosophy behind addressing tasks that take less than 5 minutes immediately. We’re all busy, and procrastinating only leads to a mounting pile of tasks. You liberate significant mental energy by promptly handling quick tasks rather than deferring them. This proactive approach combats the feeling of laziness and fuels productivity. Moreover, it teaches you that many tasks don’t require as much time as you think, fostering a can-do attitude. For instance, emptying the dishwasher takes mere minutes and is quickly done while waiting for morning tea. This proactive approach prevents dishes from piling up in the sink, avoiding the creation of additional tasks for later.
How do you recommend individuals recalibrate their mental wellness after experiencing a significant setback or failure?
Oh, this is a big one, and it is a big reason why people come to me in the first place. I start with compassion and psycho-educating people on what is happening to them and why they need to give themselves a break before we can tackle a strategy on how to rebuild.
In broad strokes, when experiencing a significant setback, five things happen.
- Stress response: First, your amygdala (fight or flight) gets activated, which triggers the HPA axis activation. The HPA axis is the “control center,” “gearbox,” and “transmission” all in one. It controls which stress hormones (such as cortisol) are released to tell your body if you will fight or run away.
- Emotional Processing. When we experience a significant setback, the CEO of your brain (prefrontal cortex) becomes less active, and your limbic system (reptilian brain where emotion sits) becomes more active. This is important to understand because this means sadness, frustration, anger, and anxiety take over. By contrast, the prefrontal cortex controls strategy, decision-making, reasoning, and perception of reality. What can you do if that part of your brain is dormant? Nothing.
- Chemical imbalance in your brain: Setbacks disrupt the balance of our brain chemicals like serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine, which are the key players in regulating our mood, motivation, and general well-being. So when that is out of balance, we can feel down or depressed. It’s important to acknowledge that you will feel the way you think until your brain is back in balance. I know it’s uncomfortable, but the only way is through.
- Inflammation and the gut-brain axis: The stress we experience from a setback can trigger an inflammatory response (which releases cytokines, which can cross the blood brain barrier and further disrupt our brain chemistry). Also, the same stress causes a gut microbiome reaction. Scientists are only now slowly starting to understand the impact of the gut microbiome on our mental well-being, but here is what we know: Your gut health determines your brain health. And when we experience stress, the gut bacteria become imbalanced, and the “bad guys” get the upper hand making you crave “comfort food” which will exasperate your feelings of disappointment and sadness. A little tough love and self-respect is needed here and you must treat your body with respect. Feed yourself with nourishing meals and whole foods. Skip the damn Pizza.
- Neuroplasticity: A big words that basically describes your ability to adapt and build new neural connections. You build a neural connection every time you learn something. So it once, you might forget cause it’s a weak neural connection, but so it 10 times and that connection gets stronger and stronger and it becomes “easier to think that thought”. It’s like learning to sing along to a song on the radio. First you don’t know the words, but soon enough you’ll know it by heart.
When we are stressed from a setback the brains ability for neuroplasticity is impaired, which means you’ll have difficulty with memory, attention, decision-making, and other functions.
When there is a setback, people often want to jump and take action to “fix it” but the best is to let the body run its course until we can think clearly again. You don’t have to do that alone, I’ll sit through the tough parts with you, until we can start creating a strategy.
In your experience, what is a common misconception about mental health that hinders people from seeking help or improving their wellness?
“My problems aren’t that bad.” I think that is the single most misconception. Either people think they are unworthy, or they can’t take an honest enough look at themselves to admit they could maybe so something better or differently. The truth is, proactive wellness practices and intentional reflection can do wonders for maintaining good mental health.
Can you share a transformative moment or client story that highlights the power of a specific mental wellness strategy?
A year ago, a woman, let’s call her Kate, called me crying, panicked on the verge of divorce with her husband of 13 years. They had experienced a significant breach of trust and Kate felt lost, angry, betrayed, and didn’t know what to do. After a few sessions of emotional processing, I put my tough-love-hat on and told her she had to snap out of her victim-mindset and that I wouldn’t tolerate her story-telling anymore that made her husband the “bad guy”. This is when “Intentional reflection” could truly begin, which ultimately leads to behavior change. The truth is, he was “the bad guy” and he did cross a line, however Kate was also set on NOT leaving the relationship and work to repair it.
So what can we do?
Given her choice to stay and work on the relationship, staying stuck in the story that he was “the bad guy” wasn’t constructive anymore and neither was her wallowing in self-pity. Yes, it sucked. She was hurt. It was painful. But considering the fact that SHE came to sessions with me, as opposed to HIM, I had to start asking Kate the hard questions: How did she contribute to the situation? How has her behavior influenced the relationship getting to this point? How have her choices and attitudes influenced the husband to stray?
Kate cursed me, as she clearly wasn’t the one who messed up- But I shouldered her anger with open arms, I showed up, week after week. Kate’s strength was her openness to feedback, which accelerated her growth and fostered her ability to look at the situation not through an emotional lens, but through a rational one. We identified many areas that could have possibly contributed to the situation. She was a little controlling, she was a little manipulative, she did have expectations that she did not communicate, she did project her thoughts and feelings onto him, and the couple had a serious communication issue.
Fast forward a year, and the couple is thriving. Her positive behavior change influenced the husband to behave differently, saving the marriage.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Everyday Life Hacks For Optimal Mental Wellness?”
1 . Practice mindful awareness. It sounds cliché, but connect with the present.
2 . Challenge distorted thinking. Reframing your mindset can prevent spiraling.
3 . Do something mood-boosting every day. Sing, dance, hike, be in nature, play with your dog.
4 . Foster self-compassion. Self-criticism often compounds mental distress — replacing it with self-compassion can be transformative.
5 . intentional reflection. Deliberate introspection can help you gain clarity, identify patterns, and adjust to better align with your values.
What role does technology play in mental wellness today, and how can individuals leverage it positively without exacerbating mental health issues?
I struggle with this question. On the one hand, our devices give us SO MUCH access to technology that can boost mental wellness (from meditation apps to workout classes to scheduling apps,…), but on the other, it is challenging to set and adhere to screen time boundaries, or not accidentally consume content on social media that reinforces our not-so-healthy beliefs. I don’t feel super qualified to give advice on this.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would incorporate psychoeducation into TV shows and movies. Unfortunately, we don’t all have good parents or models growing up who teach us what is and isn’t healthy in romantic and platonic relationships.
How can our readers further follow you online?
I recently started blogging for www.westsideneurotherapeutics.org and anyone is welcome to connect with me via LinkedIn
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Eden Gold, is a youth speaker, keynote speaker, founder of the online program Life After High School, and host of the Real Life Adulting Podcast. Being America’s rising force for positive change, Eden is a catalyst for change in shaping the future of education. With a lifelong mission of impacting the lives of 1 billion young adults, Eden serves as a practical guide, aiding young adults in honing their self-confidence, challenging societal conventions, and crafting a strategic roadmap towards the fulfilling lives they envision.
Do you need a dynamic speaker, or want to learn more about Eden’s programs? Click here: https://bit.ly/EdenGold.
Mental Wellness Mastery: Mental Health Expert Jezabel May Of Westside NeuroTherapeutics On Everyday… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.