Lindsay Mareau Of Phenom On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and Professionally
Leadership means more than just hitting business goals. You have to help your team be in a position to succeed.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lindsay Mareau.
Lindsay Mareau is the Vice President of Strategy at Phenom, a global HR tech company based in the greater Philadelphia area. She is an evolution enthusiast who believes individuals and organizations are capable of greatness with a few mindset tweaks.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Sometimes life forces you to the evolution that you need by providing a situation where you really have no other choice, and that was one of those for me. It sounds like a total cliche, but I’m actually from a small town in Iowa. Growing up in a place with fewer than 1,000 people forces you to work together with others. What the town lacked in size it more than made up for in community spirit and work ethic. Farming families are some of the physically toughest, most focused people you’ll ever meet. They’re also the most generous and giving of their time. They’ll do anything for anyone — be it a next door neighbor or a total stranger.
I left Iowa to go to college in North Carolina, but I wasn’t ready for the big city and headed back to my comfort zone in Iowa. I enrolled in college and took a Spanish class. The teacher encouraged me to spend a summer abroad in Spain. It was wise advice, because it was the start of my coming out of my shell. It was like something huge shifted for me. Seeing a different country, meeting its citizens and exposure to a rich, historic culture opened my eyes to the world in a profound way. I would return to Spain a few more times, coming away with a new appreciation for the life lessons I picked up with each visit.
If we allow our past experiences to pre-define the opportunities in front of us, we’ll never really experience something truly new. It will always be colored by the lens of the past. Thank goodness that Spanish teacher pushed me to step outside of my comfort zone, as it shifted my view of the world, and the trajectory of my life. Sometimes you need someone, or something, to give you that push.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Marianne Williamson made several impactful statements a while back that really hit home for me. Here are some of my favorites (it was hard to pick just one).
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine.”
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Collectively, her quotes align so well with where I’m at because, in a time and society that seems to survive on conforming (must have this car, this job, this brand of jeans to “fit in”), shining your light and being your authentic self is an act of heroism. But it is in following our own unique compass where we find and share true joy.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
When I first got into the software industry, a mentor gave me a copy of “The Go Giver” by Bob Burg. It was the first time I had resonated with what it means to “sell” by focusing on time, attention, value and authenticity rather than the act of closing a business deal. In taking my focus off of the worry about the outcome and really diving into the best interest of the customer (and understanding what that is), I have found that the outcome to be win-win-win — for my well being, for the customer, and for Phenom.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
So let me share a personal anecdote. My professional career began in sales at Maytag. There was a particularly intense training program that all salespeople had to take. It lasted about eight weeks, and it was grueling. We would spend hours in front of our peers doing product demonstrations. The demos would be recorded and critiqued, and then we’d go back and record a new demo all over again. It was physically and emotionally challenging, but looking back, it was the best thing to happen to me.
I went from hating public speaking to realizing that I could actually be good at it. It was like a baptism by fire. It wasn’t enough to just stand up in front of a room of people and not use filler words but to actually be able to articulate something. The experience also taught me not to do things halfway, that the more present you can be in a situation, the better. When things are at their hardest, they matter the most. As a result of the self-confidence I’ve built up over numerous challenges, I now run toward, instead of from, those moments.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
There is an undeniable virtue in doing things that make us feel anxious or uncomfortable — things that we don’t normally gravitate toward. It’s in doing activities like these that we see what we’re capable of. Personal growth is the dividend we receive when we force ourselves out of our protective shells.
Growth and transformation never live in a silo. The skills and confidence that I’ve developed in moving past my comfort zone at work (as the stages got bigger, the teams got bigger and the challenges with a growing company continued to evolve) have also taught me to trust myself more than ever before. Additionally, Phenom has always allowed me the time and space for the “whole me,” which I promised myself years ago I would never again forgo. Because of this, I continue to evolve in my personal understanding of myself with daily meditations and meditation retreats.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
I don’t see how it’s possible to flourish without the help of a few battle scars. A Harvard Business School professor once coined the phrase “psychological safety.” It basically means feeling comfortable enough to speak up, to take risks or share bad news without worrying about negative blowback. But that can’t happen unless someone is prepared emotionally and psychologically to deal with countering opinions. Growth doesn’t come for free.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
Had I not been willing to embrace the uncomfortable and take on new challenges in my career, I would not have ended up at Phenom. Comfort is an interesting term in my case because it was the opposite of “comfortable,” but it was what I was used to. Familiar and comfortable are sometimes interchangeable, as we can become familiar with, or comfortable, living a life that we don’t even like, because we are too afraid of the unknowns involved in real change.
What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
- Stand out as one of a kind
Personal and professional development have to go hand-in-hand. Finding time to do both can be tricky but is essential to personal growth and the betterment of others around you. It’s like what Marianne Williamson said in question #2 above, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
It is not possible to step into the best version of you while trying to be someone else (or someone else’s version of, or opinion of, your best). I spent so much time as a younger person trying to accomplish goals set for me by other people. The biggest message that I could give here is to realize that you’re unique, and to lean into that. Trust what makes that light within you shine, and that is what creates greatness, for yourself and for others around you.
I’m thrilled to share that I have completed a long-term professional goal of becoming certified in coursework designed to give people the tools and the understanding to make change in their lives. I am one of less than 250 people in the world with the credentials to be a certified corporate consultant in Neuro Change Solutions.
The curriculum was developed by Dr. Joe Dispenza, a noted scientist, teacher and New York Times best-selling author who was paralyzed in a cycling accident. Doctors told him he may never walk again, but he willed himself to repair his back using the power of his mind. Now he inspires others to overcome their challenges.
2. Support customers with the heart as well as the head
Leadership means more than just hitting business goals. You have to help your team be in a position to succeed.
That’s why I’m always thinking about my team in new and creative ways, such as “How can I help our sales, customer care and implementation teams have the tools to do what they do from the heart instead of the head? How can I help them live more in creativity and curiosity instead of survival mode?”
Compassion works similarly with customers. I call it listening without an agenda. It’s all about listening to understand, not to sell or even to fix. More empathy and less judgment or agenda. Here’s how it works. I’ll be on a call with a customer or potential customer, and I’ll ask them curious, inquisitive questions, and then I just listen. It brings me joy to see how people open up and share themselves when they feel heard and seen and appreciated. There’s a lot to be said about empathy’s place in business. Walking in a customer’s shoes fosters mutual trust and shows that you really care about their well-being. Customers will remember and appreciate that.
Conversations with customers don’t always have to revolve around selling them something. In fact, customer obsession and empathy, in my experience, never have diminishing returns.
3. Tune in, assess, then take action
Maytag was the first job I had out of college. Eighteen months in, the company was acquired by Whirlpool, and I was laid off. It came as a complete shock. I went from living life at 90 miles an hour to suddenly coming to a dead stop. That was hard to deal with, but it forced me to sit and think about where I wanted my career to go. That led to a new and valuable revelation.
Every turning point in life can be meaningful if we take the lesson, or treat it as a learning. The biggest “failures” were the biggest points of growth and development to me. I can honestly say that I am most grateful for those, but it took some reframing and reassessing (and less self-judgment) to get there.
After Maytag I ended up working in several different industries. Each move could be seen as another learning opportunity about who I am and what works for me, but not treating them as failures per se.
4. Don’t dwell on the past
Regrets, I’ve had a few. The biggest regret of them all is how long I let them define me. To see my mistakes as something I was rather than something I did. When you realize that you, like every single person on this planet, is doing the best they can with what they have, it transmutes regret into a learning opportunity. It also opens up the aperture or perspective of others in life.
Dwelling, or reliving, the past only keeps you there longer. As a result, you’ll often find that similar situations seem to find you over and over again. It’s not a coincidence; you’re living your life through the lens of that past experience. Accept it, take the learning, and move on knowing that it’s just a step in the journey (not the destination).
All of us will hit a pothole at some point in our careers. Being laid off or losing out on a promotion is a shock to the system and can test even the most self-confident among us. As a result it’s only natural to avoid these situations at all costs. But at what cost? Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of setbacks, think about the positive things that can happen. There is value to be gained when things don’t go our way. For example, are career goals truly aligned with current aspirations? If they are not, maybe it’s time for a deeper look into what your true calling really is.
A couple of other pointers to consider. Continually learn new skills, even those outside of the scope of your job description. People who demonstrate a growth mindset tend to have more fulfilling careers. They tend to be more receptive to career pivots, which in turn makes them more sought after by employers, research has proven.
The World Economic Forum says the top five core skills that companies believe will matter the most are: analytical thinking; creative thinking; resilience, flexibility and agility; motivation and self-awareness; and curiosity and lifelong learning.
5. The unmistakable grace of transformation
When you make a change for the better in your life, it’s going to have a ripple effect on other aspects of your life because few people live in a silo. How you do one thing is how you do everything, so it’s really important to think about the whole of change and transformation and not hyper-focus on any one specific component of change and transformation.
In my world, that often looks like a hyper-focus on the technology and minimizing the focus on the people and process components of change. In reality it takes all three of them — people, process and technology — to make true change occur.
For example, I’m helping major organizations revamp the way they hire, retain and develop their employees through artificial intelligence, automation, and experience. It’s something to see the look on HR leaders’ faces when I run them through the numbers about how much they can save in time, efficiency and cost with AI. It’s worth noting that our most successful customers — those who invested heavily in the people and process alongside the technology investment — have seen the most profound results.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of the hard work involved in adopting a new mindset.
I mean, it’s really hard in the moment to take rough things that happened to you or mistakes that you made and view them as great opportunities for learning. The reality is if you reframe it, you can take anything and turn it into the next positive step in your evolution or change journey. Otherwise, you end up reliving those down moments over and over and you end up stuck in the past.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
I love this. That’s one of my favorite quotes. And my response is yes, yes, yes — push yourselves to do something that shakes up the status quo. True change and transformation happens from the inside out. In NeuroChangeSolutions, based on the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza, we teach the neuroscience of change, and have proven that your thoughts, actions and feelings shape the reality you see, not the other way around.
So much of what we tell ourselves to stay comfortable is the same stuff that keeps us “stuck” in the same predictable routines and behaviors of the past. Change really is an inside game, first and foremost. And when you hold yourself accountable to changing yourself first, it’s amazing what change you’ll “happen” to see around you.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Most change initiatives at organizations fail because individuals don’t have the tools to deal with stress, anxiety and so on. By giving my team the mental tools and the understanding to make changes in their lives, whether it’s inside or outside of work, they come to the realization that life doesn’t create you, you create your life, your thoughts, your actions and your feelings.
My sincerest desire is that people feel empowered to create the life they want — to be the hero of their story instead of a victim to it. There is so much freedom and possibility in the realization that you are the creator, not the victim, of your life.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I would love to have lunch with Glennon Doyle. I am so inspired by her story of self-discovery and resilience, all of which she shares so openly and with such authenticity. She seeks to be the change, and fights fiercely for social justice issues around the world. In my opinion, passion and authenticity are superpowers that, when combined, create magic in the world. The world needs more of that.
How can our readers follow you online?
I’m on LinkedIn — let’s connect. I’d love to hear your story.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Lindsay Mareau Of Phenom On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.