An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman
Lifting yourself up will lift up others. If your own self-image sucks, you’ll be more tempted to compete with or backstab other women. If you feel secure, you’ll have no problem watching others shine. I’ve seen women happily support others until they feel personally threatened. Ladies, don’t do this. Self love heals all.
In today’s dynamic world, the concept of leadership is continuously evolving. While traditional leadership models have often been male-dominated, there is a growing recognition of the unique strengths and perspectives that women bring to these roles. This series aims to explore how women can become more effective leaders by authentically embracing their femininity and innate strengths, rather than conforming to traditional male leadership styles. In this series, we are talking to successful women leaders, coaches, authors, and experts who can provide insights and personal stories on how embracing their inherent feminine qualities has enhanced their leadership abilities. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lisa Wright.
Lisa Wright is the Founder of Reify Creative, a full-service digital marketing agency in Connecticut. With nearly two decades of experience in creative roles, she’s served Fortune 100 clients across several industries. She’s also the host of “THIRD CONCEPT,” a podcast where she interviews creatives about their journeys of personal growth and development.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Hi, yes, hello! Thank you for including me in this series.
My true love has always been writing. After getting the obligatory novel or two out of my system, I started my professional career as a copywriter. I didn’t go to college, so I rolled up my sleeves and started from the very bottom, earning pennies per word and loving every minute. Through the years I moved up to become a Creative Director before launching my own agency. I don’t write as much anymore, but instead I’ve channeled that energy into something different. Whether I’m writing a love letter or a banner ad, the underlying goal is to influence others. Now I use that drive towards change into inspiring creatives and helping clients achieve their goals. It’s different, but it still feels really good.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I was a late bloomer in life, mostly due to suffering from imposter syndrome and agoraphobia in my 20’s. If you don’t know about agoraphobia, it makes it difficult or impossible to leave your home. A common misconception about people with phobias is that they’re weak. I’ve been laughed at, dismissed and totally misunderstood. Living with a phobia requires a lot of strength to get through the day.
There came a point in my career when out-of-state travel was necessary. Meanwhile, I was nervous simply going to a new restaurant 30 minutes away. What if the restaurant has scary stairs and I panic? What if I lose feeling in my fingertips and it spreads to my whole body? What if plans change last minute and I’m unprepared? What if I embarrass myself in front of everyone? I dove into cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy and put an end to this needless suffering (God bless my therapist). I knew I was cured when I flew alone to a huge conference in Europe. Suddenly, the whole world was open to me — what a feeling! I hope my experiences inspire others to face their own fears, too.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Early on, a client shared her first impression of me after we met at networking event. She said, “I could see that you cared about me and my business. You were really listening to what I was saying. I even feel like we had a special moment. The other people there only wanted to talk about themselves.” It was an incredible experience because she articulated Reify Creative’s mission word for word. At that moment I knew my company would succeed, because my vision was taking form. In fact, that’s where the name “Reify” comes from. It’s a term that means turning abstract concepts into a tangible reality. I want to make things happen, and I want to do it with integrity and compassion. And I choose team members who share this vision.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Fearlessness. You can’t care what people think about you. You can’t be afraid to make mistakes. You must take risks. Every time you feel the fear and do it anyway, you’ll grow immeasurably. Don’t run from discomfort. Run towards it! This is something I learned from agoraphobia: fear is just a feeling. When you expose yourself to fear, you’ll feel a wave of terror overtake your body. Exposure therapy teaches you to observe that feeling and notice how it peaks and recedes. The higher your tolerance to fear, the more options become open to you in life and business.
Sensitivity. I’m a highly sensitive person and it’s a superpower, NOT a flaw. I call myself “The Canary in a Coal Mine” because I can sense things long before others do. This is great in business because you can tell whether clients, customers, and employees are dissatisfied, excited, troubled, happy, pessimistic or restless, even when they’re trying to hide it. Having that advanced knowledge allows you to step in and mediate early if something needs to be addressed.
Honesty. So many people struggle with a fear of not being liked or being punished for speaking out. But honesty creates connection. Honesty leads to trust, and with trust, you have everything. Your boss, if they’re any good, isn’t going to ask a people pleaser what they think of a tricky situation. They’ll ask the person who tells it like it is. People pleasing doesn’t innovate, take risks, or drive excellence. It preserves the ego. That’s so boring, isn’t it? Release your ego and see how your world transforms.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
One thing that comes up a lot in marketing is whether to push for the best creative solutions, or surrender to a client’s bad choice. Some creatives get enraged when clients ask for clunky, ugly, grammatically incorrect, outdated creative. I tend to believe the client is always right, only because it’s their bottom line at stake, not ours. In most situations, compromise is best. Explain your recommendations passionately and move on no matter what they choose. This is digital advertising, not the Louvre. I admire commitment to craft, but not to the point where it could jeopardize internal and external relationships.
Can you share a personal experience where embracing your unique leadership style, which might not align with traditional expectations, led to a significant positive impact in your organization or team?
Back when I was an ACD, I volunteered to lead our company’s SEO team. They’d been bopping along for years without a department head. I was totally unqualified but took it on without asking for a raise or title change. I did it because I knew I could make a difference. It was actually really fun because I was running a department I knew nothing about, so I was learning a ton and getting better every day. Unfortunately, a couple of team members didn’t think I deserved the position, even though I was the only one who stepped up. But here’s the thing: I was actively researching which of our existing clients needed SEO services, which no one else was doing. I was talking to PMs about how they should involve SEO in kickoff calls. I was setting up new processes so that SEO wasn’t brought in at the last minute and made to scramble. I heard all of their concerns and I was fixing stuff. Today, one of the SEOs on that team freelances for Reify now. The point is, work with integrity and you can’t lose. If people don’t think you deserve to be where you are, SEO what? (That was a pun and I’m sorry.)
In your journey as a leader, how have you balanced demonstrating resilience, often seen as a masculine trait, with showing vulnerability, which is equally powerful, but typically feminine? Can you give an example where this balance created a meaningful difference?
Oof, I gotta say… I do not see resilience as a masculine trait at all. I try not to hold gender stereotypes (because they’re made up), but when I think of people who’ve come back from loss, abuse, illness, failure, and grief, it’s women. We have to. We’re often the ones taking care of everyone. The strength to be vulnerable comes from resilience. For instance, recovering from a failure (through resilience), allows you to share your story with others (through vulnerability) and inspire their own healing journey.
As a woman in leadership, how have you navigated and challenged gender stereotypes, especially in situations where traditional male-dominated approaches are the norm? What strategies have you employed to remain authentic to your style?
I get a lot of flack for this, but my tactic is ignoring its existence. I’ve never cared if male leadership doubts me. Represses me. Ignores me. I speak up and I speak out — not just for myself, but for others, too. No matter which marginalized group you associate with, I feel the best path forward is to a) be a fearless ally for others, while b) not letting a single thing get in the way of your success. I firmly believe that if you own who you are, you will succeed. I can’t stress this enough: Be your full beautiful self, flaws and all!
And now I’m going to go full “woo woo” on you. I’ve never overidentified with being a woman or female. I identify as a dark, amorphous mass that forms into what I need to be based on what I want to accomplish. That sounds sarcastic but there’s truth to it. Here’s the thing: genders, sexualities, and ethnicities are disappearing. Lines are getting blurred and it’s making everyone uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is good because it means growth and innovation. The DEI explosion that’s happening now is preparing us for a vastly different future. In the next 100 or 200 years, the groups we identify with may no longer exist. Humanity will ask, “Who am I?” in exciting new ways. I predict that being a shapeshifter is the way to go.
But in the meantime, vote. Vote life your life depends on it.
How do you utilize emotional intelligence and active listening to create an inclusive environment in your team or organization? Could you share a specific instance where these qualities particularly enhanced team dynamics or performance?
One thing I love about the modern workplace is that people of color and LGBTQ+ folks are more empowered to call out areas of improvement. I appreciate this candor, particularly when it’s clear and direct. Hiring diverse staff is the best way to make this happen.
One issue we don’t talk about enough is destigmatizing discussions around non-native English-speaking colleagues. Being bilingual or trilingual is amazing. But if we’re having problems understanding each other, that’s a problem. There shouldn’t be a stigma to saying, “As a non-native English speaker, do you have any needs or requests from me? Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?”
Non-native speakers often struggle with shame. No one should feel shame for speaking multiple languages! As workplaces become more globalized, we need to figure out how to address this on macro and micro levels.
What role has mentorship played in developing your authentic leadership style, and how do you communicate authentically to inspire and empower both your mentors and mentees?
I actively seek out quiet people and introverts. My leadership style is pretty cut and dry: I ask teams about their goals and find ways to achieve them. Then I watch what happens. I observe whether they’re progressing nicely or if they’re hitting resistance. If the latter, I’ll talk to them. If I see they were nervous presenting, I’ll ask if they like it. I’ll ask if they’d rather someone else present in their place (typically, no matter how much they hate it, they won’t say yes, and this locks in a commitment to improve). The key is to keep asking questions to learn who they are and what they want. 9 times out of 10 people just want someone to listen and care. Open your heart and ears, and they’ll do the rest.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Leading Authentically As A Woman Will Affect Your Leadership”?
1 . Lifting yourself up will lift up others. If your own self-image sucks, you’ll be more tempted to compete with or backstab other women. If you feel secure, you’ll have no problem watching others shine. I’ve seen women happily support others until they feel personally threatened. Ladies, don’t do this. Self love heals all.
At the lowest point of my career, I phoned a female colleague I respected but didn’t know too well. I was afraid I was going to be “too much” but was honest with her anyway and told her some of the insecurities I was struggling with. She started yelling at me (the nice type of yelling) that I was more than enough already, and told me I was capable of doing anything I wanted. I’ll never forget this call because it fundamentally changed me. Loving words are magic. ❤
2 . Cliques will be ditched. We naturally place people in buckets according to marital status, having kids (or not), being attractive, likeable, ambitious, whatever. And then we socialize with the groups we identify with, which is fine! But I’ve noticed that a lot of us tend to avoid anyone outside their clique. Leading authentically means engaging with women outside of your usual circles. Diversity in social groups is so important.
3 . You’ll overcome your own sexism. All right, that was a clickbait-y sentence, but here’s what I mean. I never noticed that some of my own ideas were serving the patriarchy. One was settling for low pay. When a friend said that “men are better salary negotiators,” my first thought was, “that makes sense because I’m not good enough to ask for more.” Wait, what? Imagine if someone said to me, “Lisa, you can’t ask for the salary you deserve.” I’d be furious. So, why was I telling myself these lies? Now, I don’t settle for low offers. Are you secretly harboring beliefs that hold you back?
4 . You’ll filter out others’ feelings. If you’re sensitive like me, this will resonate. I absorb so much of other people’s energy that half the time I don’t know which energy is mine and which is someone else’s. When I learned how to feel my feelings, it unlocked so much inner power and self compassion. Don’t hold everything in. Understand what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it.
5 . The multiplier effect will kick in. I once interviewed a managing partner at one of the nation’s Big 5 consulting firms and she talked a lot about how mentorship and community has a multiplication effect. By leading authentically — as a woman or otherwise — you’ll inspire others to do the same. Leading with compassion breeds more compassion. This isn’t always easy, and there will be days you are fed up with everyone and everything. Guess what — that’s authentic, too. It’s not as much about your day-to-day actions, it’s about focusing on an overall life purpose that leaves the Earth a little better than when you arrived.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
Oh definitely. Empathy can be tricky. It can start as genuine compassion and turn into wanting to “fix” or save people. But that’s not true empathy, it’s ego. Empathy empowers, it doesn’t fix. On the other hand, when empathy is rejected, it can turn to coldness or even vengeance. When we’re betrayed, we naturally want to close off. Again, this is where self-love is so crucial. When we understand that no one can take away anything we truly own, it’s easier to accept and forgive.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 😊
Radical ideological acceptance. We live in an incredibly divisive world. I’m politically exhausted. There are truth, lies, love and fear hidden within every belief system. We need to stop demonizing the “other side.” In fact, can we stop taking sides altogether? Apart from extremes like hate speech, we shouldn’t be afraid to express our opinions and listen to others. When we listen, we learn about each other’s fears, and through that knowledge we find common ground. We need that now more than ever. It takes vulnerability and authenticity to listen to opinions we don’t like. There’s incredible joy in pushing past this discomfort to find similarities.
How can our readers further follow you online?
You can check out Reify Creative’s website at ReifyCreative.com, and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Also, please check out my podcast THIRD CONCEPT, available on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music and more. Please reach out if you’d like to be a guest!
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!
Leading with Heart: Lisa Wright Of Reify Creative On The Power of Authentic Women’s Leadership was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.