Julia Oliver of Rooted Recovery On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder
Take care of yourself — Supporting someone in the midst of this battle is mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically challenging. We often encourage caregivers to seek therapy themselves as a means of unpacking the emotional load and learning self-regulation skills for coping with overwhelming moments. By prioritizing your own well-being, you will be better equipped to support the individual in recovery.
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.
In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding, and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Julia Oliver, RD, LDN, E-RYT of Rooted Recovery.
Julia Oliver is a registered dietitian and SMARTFlow® certified yoga teacher who specializes in guiding individuals to heal their relationship with food and movement by providing an alternative to the pervasive messages of mainstream diet and fitness culture. Julia has advanced training in eating disorder nutrition therapy for adult and adolescent populations, as well as experience leading meditation, mindfulness, and yoga for those in the midst of recovery. Through her private practice, Rooted Recovery, Julia and her team offer trauma-informed, weight-inclusive nutrition counseling and yoga services for individuals seeking a more sustainable, holistic approach to wellbeing. Ultimately, Julia believes it is our birthright to eat intuitively and move in a way that honors our body’s unique needs and limitations. On a personal note, Julia grew up around more cows than people outside of Roanoke, VA, and you could often find her and her family mushroom hunting or hiking the nearby Appalachian Trail. Now, with her husband in Rockville, MD, Julia’s favorite activities include making homemade pasta and traveling to find untouched snow!
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I was drawn to study nutrition because I simply loved food. I grew up on a small family farm in a household of ‘foodies’, so trying new recipes, going out to restaurants, and celebrating every occasion with big family meals was the norm for me. In college, I was discouraged to find that most of the education I received was about how we needed to ‘fix people’ and ‘control food’ — far from sharing my love of food with others as I had hoped. In my 5th year of training to become a dietitian, it became even clearer that the approach expected of most dietitians in most settings did not align with my core beliefs or values as a human. I couldn’t see myself giving strict meal plans, teaching people to ‘eat this, not that’, or budgeting calories. (“Maybe I will just become a yoga teacher instead,” I thought, as I trekked off to a yoga teacher training in Seattle.) With a newfound love for teaching yoga and total disdain for the dietetic profession, I was about to pivot my career entirely. Before making my final decision to leave, a wise mentor encouraged me to try one more thing! I spent 12 weeks as an intern dietitian at a residential treatment facility for adolescent girls with eating disorders. As a treatment program that incorporates the principles of intuitive eating and is aligned with Health at Every Size (HAES)®, they taught me a language and approach to client care that gave a name to everything I already believed. When you witness how an eating disorder can hijack someone’s life, particularly the life of an 11-year-old girl, you can’t unsee how critical supporting this population can be. I knew from there that this would be what I would do for the rest of my life. I transitioned into working as the dietitian and yoga instructor at a residential treatment facility for adults, and this provided the advanced training in eating disorder (ED) treatment that I carry into my private practice today.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have all, to some degree, felt the pressure from this world to “do more” or “be better,” and we endlessly measure our success and goodness by comparing ourselves to others. For the longest time, I felt trapped on the hamster wheel of chasing ‘more’ without even realizing what “more” would really look like if I arrived. Stepping back from striving to be more than I am, and instead, turning toward and embracing my natural strengths, interests, and limitations (regardless of how they measure up to the world’s standards), has been the most freeing shift in my life.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes! I recently launched an on-demand platform through my website, Embodied Yoga on Demand by Rooted Recovery. This platform contains HAES®-aligned, trauma-sensitive yoga, and meditation classes designed for individuals working toward eating disorder recovery (or anyone seeking a deeper, more peaceful connection with their body). This platform features an ever-growing library, with new videos continually added!
Individuals recovering from eating disorders are often recommended to practice yoga as an adjunct to treatment for a multitude of reasons, only a few of which are listed below:
- Overexercise or compulsive exercise may have been a function of the ED, and yoga provides a gentle form of movement that individuals can engage in as they heal their relationship with movement.
- It can be safe even in the midst of medical complications.
- At its core, yoga facilitates embodiment, and learning to listen and respond to the cues of the body is a necessary part of recovery.
- Beneficial side effects of the yoga practice include stress reduction and nervous system regulation, improved GI function, increased self-awareness, and improved emotional well-being, all of which support the recovery process.
According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?
In no particular order, I believe the following reasons are contributing to the rise in eating disorders:
1) Weight-based discrimination is only increasing, and the sociocultural idealization of thinness is a primary risk factor in ED development.
2) Diet culture is becoming more insidious as it markets toward ‘wellness’. More individuals are internalizing pressure to ‘be healthy’ and engage in seemingly ‘healthy’ behaviors that could actually spiral into an eating disorder. Also, in the midst of an ED, some of the harmful behaviors with food and exercise are reinforced or even applauded by our culture, which makes recovery that much more complicated.
3) Increased isolation, anxiety, and depression could lead to the development of an eating disorder. The ED provides a means of control when it feels like you do not have control in any other areas of life. It also serves as a way to disconnect or dissociate from overwhelming emotions.
4) The rampant use of social media is leading to more comparison, even when those comparisons are made to unrealistic images. By social media promoting unrealistic expectations around how to look, how to eat, how to exercise, etc., eating disorder behaviors can seem even more normalized or celebrated.
Based on your insight, what concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?
- Changing a cultural narrative begins by questioning our own thoughts and beliefs. Individuals can take the first step toward change by doing their own work to unpack and challenge weight bias. They may also begin unlearning the internalized messages of diet culture and relearning an alternative perspective aligned with the HAES® movement and the principles of intuitive eating. By taking these steps, we can influence eating disorder prevention and awareness.
- Corporations have the platform to build awareness and ignite change in a larger audience. To effectively use this influence for eating disorder prevention, corporations may seek opportunities to educate and train their leadership, employees, and/or the populations they serve on the risk factors of eating disorders such as weight-based discrimination and the messages of diet culture. They may also devote time to creating inclusive spaces that consider all body sizes and abilities.
- Communities as a whole, alongside groups within communities, can launch campaigns to spread awareness of eating disorder prevalence and offer resources and support to those who may be suffering. They may also share resources to equip individuals who may be able to help someone at risk or in the midst of an eating disorder.
- Leaders hold the responsibility of sharing this core issue, that eating disorders are on the rise, while offering solutions and inspiring change. Knowing that the current culture normalizes disordered eating and exercise in a way that exacerbates eating disorder development, leaders may choose to spread alternative messages aligned with the very messages taught in the midst of eating disorder recovery.
As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful,and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just control yourself”. What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness just like heart disease or schizophrenia?
I believe the stereotypes surrounding eating disorders lead people to cling to the false belief that eating disorders are solely ‘about the food’. Recognizing that eating disorders do not discriminate and could impact anyone at any stage of life, depending on various risk factors, may help individuals grasp this mental health condition as something worthy of deeper understanding.
Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, can you share an example from your own experience?
- Be there with unconditional loving-kindness — Someone suffering from an eating disorder may try to isolate themselves; they may experience intense emotions that are uncomfortable to be around, and they may behave differently than usual. Amidst all of this, if you are the ‘stable table’, the one who reliably shows up just to be with them without holding expectations, this kind of love will cultivate a safe environment for healing.
- Minimize talk about food and keep it neutral — The eating disorder is often fueled by internalized beliefs, such as assigning moral value to food as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and food may hold significant power as something that needs to be rigidly controlled. Discussing food, especially in ways normalized by diet culture (“No, I don’t want dessert, I’m being good today”), can easily reinforce the very beliefs that the eating disorder uses to maintain its grip. If you are sitting at the table with someone in recovery, you may consult their treatment team about using supportive statements or redirections around food to aid their recovery process.
- Do not comment on bodies — Even if well-intentioned or intended as a compliment, body comments only risk being harmful to someone in recovery (or anyone, really) and are often unnecessary. There are many more meaningful things to say about someone beyond their appearance, and we can do better by offering more creative greetings than ‘you look great!’. Eating disorders can often develop around the idea that smaller, thin bodies are ‘better’, ‘healthier’, and ‘more worthy’, so body comments may inadvertently reinforce this aspect of the disorder. Keep in mind (especially for parents of adolescents), that even if weight gain is necessary for healing, excessive focus on weight gain or loss, and placing undue importance on it as the primary treatment outcome, can be detrimental. Recovery encompasses multiple aspects that deserve equal attention, and avoiding fixation on weight is a practice integral to recovery.
- Be an engaged member of the treatment team (with the individual’s consent) — Even if the individual you are supporting is an independent adult, you can request permission to communicate with their treatment team (therapist, dietitian, medical provider, etc.). You may attend sessions alongside your loved one or have separate coaching sessions with the therapist or dietitian to learn how best to support the individual in recovery. As a dietitian specializing in eating disorder treatment, I have observed greater long-term success in recovery when individuals have a dedicated family member or friend who coordinates with the treatment team to support recovery efforts between sessions.
- Take care of yourself — Supporting someone in the midst of this battle is mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically challenging. We often encourage caregivers to seek therapy themselves as a means of unpacking the emotional load and learning self-regulation skills for coping with overwhelming moments. By prioritizing your own well-being, you will be better equipped to support the individual in recovery.
How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?
This is such a good question, and it looks different depending on the unique situation. Overall, sharing your concerns in a non-judgmental, gentle, loving way is necessary to ensure the individual suffering knows how aware you are of the situation. Far too often, individuals with eating disorders suffer in silence, and they may not believe that anyone knows what they are going through. If your loved one is an adult and has not yet started treatment, you can reassure them routinely and consistently that you are there to support them when/if they decide to seek out the care they deserve. If possible, you can be there to help send the emails, make the calls, drive them to appointments, and ensure that the barriers to receiving treatment are minimized.
Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?
If someone is reading this who is in the midst of this battle, I just want you to hear that you are so brave. Your eating disorder has served a purpose. It has likely protected you, been the thing to cling to in the midst of a storm raging around you, and it can be frightening to step away from the sense of safety it brings. You are stronger than you know; taking this radical leap of faith toward recovery is exactly what a brave person can do.
In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?
My first suggestion is to devote yourself to the process of unlearning and relearning. This involves identifying sources of diet culture “noise” (such as social media, podcasts, school, friends, etc.) and then seeing if there are any areas where you have the ability to ‘turn down the noise’. An example of turning down the noise would be unfollowing accounts on social media that reinforce messages of diet culture, and instead, following accounts that celebrate body diversity, encourage food freedom, and promote the teachings of intuitive eating and Health at Every Size® (HAES).
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?
Part of the process of ‘relearning’, as I mentioned above, is to begin learning about the topics that support eating disorder recovery and aid in healing our relationship with our bodies, food, and movement. A few favorites are shared below:
Books:
How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder by Casey Crosbie and Wendy Sterling
This is a guide I recommend to most parents or caregivers who are supporting an adolescent or teen through an eating disorder. It can be used in conjunction with recommendations from the dietitian on the treatment team.
Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole Smith
I recommend this book to most clients regardless of whether they are a parent or not! Virginia Sole Smith is an expert at getting to the root of diet culture and offering an alternative line of thinking that we can rely on.
8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert
This book delves into the heart of what lies behind an eating disorder and what the recovery process might look like. I recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about eating disorders and to anyone navigating recovery.
Podcasts:
This podcast is for parents who want to learn about creating an environment for their child that nurtures body trust and a healthy relationship with food and movement.
Also made for parents and caregivers, this podcast is chock full of episodes about parenting in the midst of diet culture and fostering an environment at home that promotes intuitive eating and flexibility with food.
Resources:
The courses, groups, retreats, and workshops offered by the Center for Body Trust are all highly recommended for anyone seeking to develop a more peaceful, attuned relationship with their body while challenging the greater systems that uphold weight-based discrimination.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am going to keep this simple, and as a Christian, this aligns with my fundamental beliefs as a follower of Jesus. The movement would be ‘Love Your Neighbor As Yourself’. I truly believe that love needs to be at the center of all things if we want to serve people well.
How can our readers continue to follow your work online?
You can learn more about me and my amazing associate, Bailey Saneman, MS, RD, LDN, at www.rootedrecoveryrd.com. If you have questions or if you are interested in working with us, we would love to talk with you! Please reach out for a free 15-minute consultation call — we would l ove to ensure that you and your loved one get the support you all deserve.
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Julia Oliver of Rooted Recovery On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.